by Liz K. Lorde
I sigh in frustration and sit all the way back in the booth, running my fingers through my hair. “Why, Ana? What’s so bad about it?”
“Who said it was bad?” She’s suddenly snappy. “I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine,” I acquiesce, “I don’t want to talk about it, either.”
The waffle arrives with more chocolate sauce, ice cream, and whipped cream than should be legally allowed, and the waitress has the good sense to produce two plates for us to share the sugary concoction.
Ana smiles as she looks at her custom Belgian waffle. “You really know what I like, Cas.”
“How could I forget, Ana baby?” I take a knife and cut into the waffle, portioning some onto her plate.
She looks down at her portion, and while she continues to smile, her eyes still look sad and forlorn.
“Aren’t you happy to be here with me?” I ask her, suddenly worried.
“Cas, I never thought I would be again,” she answers honestly. “But let me tell you something, this isn’t all peaches and cream, you know. We’re not 18 years old anymore.”
“Thank God,” I remark sarcastically, “or I’d be laid on the floor with bullets in my stomach.”
She draws her lips into a straight line. “Great, Cas. Thanks for the reminder.”
She tears into her waffle and shoves a large dollop of whipped cream into her mouth.
“That’s not something you really forget, babe,” I say, matching her dollop with a piece of waffle of my own.
“Well, I just want you to know that the threat of retaliation is real, Cas,” she says, washing her waffle down with some coffee. “Daddy isn’t going to take this lying down.”
I suddenly stop eating. I lean forward, and, while grabbing her wrists, gently whisper as softly as I possibly can.
“Oh, I know,” I say. “And guess what, baby? That’s exactly what I’m hoping for. I want this to end once and for all. On my terms, not your daddy’s.”
She sits back, and it’s only then that I realize that the waffle is all but gone, as is our coffee.
She takes one last sip.
“Let’s get out of here,” she says weakly. “I’m tired.”
I reach into my pocket and toss two $100 bills on the table before taking her hand and heading towards the door.
“Your wish is my command, cuore mio,” I say. “Come. Your chariot awaits.”
She follows, somewhat hesitantly. “Where are we going?”
We hop into the Austin-Healey, and I make the engine roar to life.
“To our matrimonial bed,” I reply triumphantly.
She sighs and settles into the seat comfortably.
The classic rock is back on the radio, and this time, Billy Joel is singing about a time to remember.
I smirk, take it as a sign, and tear down the interstate, kicking up piles of dust in my wake.
Chapter 6
Ana
Sitting in Cas’ car, it feels as if we’ve travelled back in time—and that’s not just because of the 60’s sports car or the super old school-looking bed and breakfast he’s currently reversing into the driveway of.
No, it feels like we’re teenagers again; two high school seniors who’ve snuck out for a midnight drive together; to laugh and love and simply be together under the light of the stars.
Well, the light pollution above us prevents us from truly seeing any stars, but the sentiment is there.
The Austin-Healey engine sputtering to a halt brings me back to reality.
Cas picks up my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it oh-so-gently. He never takes his eyes off mine; it sends shivers right through my body.
“Ready to go in, cuore mio?”
I smile and nod, not trusting my voice. Suddenly, I’m very nervous and so very, very tired.
I suppose, given the day I’ve had, I can’t be blamed for feeling this way.
An elderly man sleepily greets us at a reception desk—something tells me he was about five seconds away from an on-the-job nap. He gives us a dozy smile.
“Room for two?”
“Yes, please,” Cas replies. “Give me your best room for the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Andreas.”
He flashes me a grin, which I can’t help but return. His excitement is infectious.
Despite everything, I got my true love back—and I didn’t have to die to do so, as I had originally believed.
Cas’ excitement seems to have transmitted to the elderly owner of the bed and breakfast, for his smile grows wider before he turns to pick a set of keys off a board behind him.
“Well, we can’t have anything but the very best for young lovers such as yourselves.” He passes the keys to Cas. “Have the honeymoon suite. It’s on the third floor. Breakfast is from seven to ten. Enjoy yourselves!”
Cas winks at me, taking the old man’s words very suggestively.
“Oh, we’ll definitely enjoy ourselves,” Cas replies. He nods his thanks to the owner, after which we wind our way upstairs to the honeymoon suite.
When Cas opens the door, I can’t help but gasp.
The suite is far more luxurious than I had been expecting, all decked out in 1920’s art deco furniture and hangings.
Cas lets out a low whistle.
“Wow, wasn’t expecting this, to be honest.”
“I love it,” I remark, collapsing onto the softly furnished bed. It has a curved cherry wood backboard polished to a high shine and oozing class—something I had been missing, surrounded by Yuri and his thugs.
Oh. Great.
Thinking about Yuri hurls me back into the reality of my situation.
I have run away from my mob boss father and my heir-to-the-mob-throne fiancé.
For Caspian Andreas. Again.
I shudder, thinking about everything that happened after I tried that the first time.
But suddenly Cas is on top of me, running a hand through my hair, teasing away the fastenings, keeping it in place. His lips fall hungrily on mine; his tongue hot and desperate as it enters my mouth.
I can feel him—hard with longing—against my leg.
My heart beats wildly in response, and yet, I push him gently away.
“Ana…?” Cas wonders aloud, confusion obvious in his soulful eyes.
“You know I want this, Cas—so, so much. But…”
I don’t even know what to say, and, before I know it, I feel the sting of tears in my eyes, and I look ashamedly away as they begin to fall.
Cas pulls me up into a sitting position and embraces me tightly. I bury my face in his chest.
“Ana, tell me what’s wrong.”
I can’t tell if my hysterical crying stems from finding out that the love of my life was not, in fact, dead for three years—and that I could have been with him instead of enduring sheer torture for three years, or simply from exhaustion.
It’s probably a healthy mix of both.
“Ana,” Cas coos softly into my hair, “it’s okay. We don’t have to do anything tonight. Or tomorrow. You’ve been through so much. I just got so excited that I jumped the gun. I’m sorry, I—”
I put a finger up to his lips and tilt my head to shush him.
“Cas, this isn’t your fault. It’s theirs.”
Cas doesn’t need further explanation on who I mean; he can extrapolate that all on his own.
His face darkens.
“What the hell did that sick son of a bitch do to you, Ana? What has your family done to you?”
I take a deep breath, and will my tears to stop. It sort of works.
I look up at Cas.
“I’m still a virgin, Cas.”
I can see his face light up with youthful excitement and awe for just a moment, before schooling his expression back to serious.
“So, Yuri didn’t lay a hand on you?”
I laugh mirthlessly at that.
“You saw the bruises, Cas. My virginity came at a price. Yuri is a violent, angry man. It didn’t matter what I said
or did—I always ended up as his personal punching bag.”
Cas looks outraged. He strokes the side of my face with a finger and I lean into the motion gladly.
“Why did your family not stop him?” he asks, though I think he knows the answer.
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to center myself.
“I was basically the family pariah after I ran away with you the first time. So they…turned the other cheek. And Yuri was a valuable man to my father, so he wanted to tie him to the family. Lucky me.”
Cas hugs me tightly again, for a long time.
“I’m sorry, Ana, I’m so sorry. You’ll never have to deal with any of them ever again. I swear it. I’ll be your new family, and I’ll never hurt you.”
“I know,” I murmur into his chest, as I finally feel myself calming down.
I become aware of Cas’ hands on the bare skin of my back around the same time that he does, after which he hurriedly pulls away, his eyes flashing apologetically.
I grab onto his hands and return them to where they were.
I give him a genuine smile.
“It’s okay, Cas. Honestly. You’re the only man I want touching me, and I thought I had lost it forever. I don’t plan on letting that happen again.”
Again, I don’t mention that I had planned to die today—fulfilling my personal promise that Cas would be the one man to ever touch me.
Cas stares at me wonderingly.
“You are the strongest person I know, Ana Rachmanoff.”
I smile, somewhat mischievously.
“I thought it was Mrs. Andreas?”
Cas kisses me happily.
“Soon, I swear it. If you’ll have me.”
In answer, I turn around to give Cas access to the zip holding the skirt of my dress together. His fingers trail slowly down my spine, leaving a blaze of heat in their wake.
I turn my head slightly to look at Cas over my shoulder.
“I’ll have you, if you’ll have me.”
Chapter 7
Cas
My hand shakes slightly as my fingers trail the length of her spine, rage boiling through me at the thought of her pain. The reality of what Yuri has done washes over me in waves—fury and despair stirring in its wake.
My anger at the man who harmed her is nothing however, compared to the anger I feel towards myself. I should have protected her, kept her safe from that monster.
If only I had found her faster…
I shove the ideas back into the recesses of my mind, focusing instead on Ana.
I can’t change what’s been done—can’t take back the wounds that have been inflicted on her. All I can do now is try and soothe her pain in any way possible.
My fingers brush across her neck, pushing her golden hair to one side as I grasp her zipper firmly with my other hand.
“This is okay?” I ask, tugging slowly at the cool metal. “You can tell me if it’s not.”
She nods in answer.
The sound of the zipper’s teeth coming apart seems impossibly loud in the quiet of our suite—her shallow breathing the only other noise.
The dress falls open at its center; her pale skin shining out at me in the dim lighting.
I feel my breath catch in my throat at the sight of it. My anger flaring once more as I take in the bruises that mar her once flawless skin.
A growl forces its way between my teeth—so primal and dangerous—it surprises even me.
Ana flinches slightly at the sound, her muscles visibly tightening in surprise.
“Oh Ana,” I say, again running my fingers lightly across her exposed back, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
She turns her head, her icy eyes shimmering back at me. I still can’t get used to the depth that now exists in them—the haunted look that seems to have taken up residence in her gaze.
“I’m okay.” She assures me, that piercing stare never leaving my face.
At least her tears have dried; I can find some small encouragement in that.
I reach for her dress as she turns back away from me, sliding the fabric from her body with torturous slowness.
Inch by inch her body comes into view, my heart beating harder by the second.
Despite the bruises, despite the passing of time and even my own anger, I still feel that same indescribable need for her.
My eyes rake hungrily across her bare form as my fingers graze softly across her, lingering slightly on her injuries. In my mind I take stock of them, tallying her pain like numbers on a bill, assuring myself constantly that Yuri will pay.
I bend at the waist as the dress slides freely down, pooling at her feet with a soft rustling sound. My lips graze lightly across a particularly dark bruise at the base of her neck—mottled purple formed in the shape of a hand.
“Is that okay?” I ask, seeing chills rush quickly across her ivory skin.
“Yes.”
“What did he do to you?” I ask, trying hard to keep the fury from my voice.
Her hand reaches idly to the bruise in question, her delicate fingers running across the discolored flesh.
“Yuri doesn’t like to be ignored.” She says simply, her voice shaking slightly at his name.
I clench my teeth around my anger. There will come a time and place for it, but it isn’t here. Not now.
I lower myself further, my lips pressing gently at a sickly yellow mark across her ribs.
She answers without encouragement.
“He also doesn’t like to be talked back to.”
I continue my exploration of her body, taking the time to kiss each and every mark. Occasionally, I stop to ask her permission again, needing to know that she’s okay with the contact.
After what she’s been through, the last thing I want is for her to feel forced.
Like a doctor, I inspect her thoroughly, my hands and lips seeking out every hurt…Her neck, her arms, her stomach.
My heart aches to hear her explanations; the memory of each bruise seemingly imprinted on her mind.
When I’ve discovered every mark on her upper body, I lower myself to my knees before her, directing my attention to the injuries at her legs.
Starting at her ankles, I work my way slowly higher, pausing only when I’ve reached the delicate flesh of her thighs.
“Is this okay?” I ask, running my thumb slowly across a particularly bad bruise.
I tilt my head, meeting the endless depths of her eyes as she stares calmly down at me. A small smile tugs at her full lips, drawing my gaze to them.
“Yes Cas. I promise. It’s okay.”
I lean in to kiss her final bruise, her silken skin rubbing softly against my mouth.
I resist the urge to kiss her more deeply, my need for her nearly uncontrollable by this point.
Still, I know that what Ana needs now more than anything is my care. With a force of will, I pull slowly away from her, standing to clasp our hands between us.
“I’ll kill him.” I say, my voice an octave lower than usual, “I swear, Ana. I will make him pay for hurting you.”
Despite my expectations, she only shakes her head, her gaze lowering in thought.
“No, Cas. Please don’t. I just want this to be over. No more pain.”
The thought of allowing Yuri to live after what he’s done makes my blood boil. He’s hurt the woman that I love, tormented her for years. Now I’m supposed to let him walk away?
My head spins at the thought.
“Ana—”
“Cas, listen to me. I just want it to end.”
I stare silently at her downcast head for a long moment, fury and powerlessness crashing through me.
I understand why she wouldn’t want bloodshed; truly I do, but that monster…
I swallow the argument that tries to erupt from my lips, willing myself back towards calm.
“Okay Ana, I’ll do whatever you want.”
The words feel toxic falling from my mouth.
She looks up at me, the ghost of a s
mile pulling at her mouth.
“Thank you.”
She leans forward, enveloping me in an embrace.
Her body crashes against mine, the smell of her hair wafting enticingly upwards.
I support her weight, trying my best not to hold her injured body too hard.
More than anything, I want to lift her from her feet. I want to carry her to the plush bed and finish tonight what we started so long ago. The feeling of her in my arms is almost overpowering, my self-control wavering in the euphoria of the moment.
“I’m so tired.” She whispers, her body relaxing further at the words.
“I know.” I answer, pulling back slightly from her grasp. “It’s okay, everything is okay now.”
I reach down to take one of her hands gently between mine, slowly guiding her towards the plush bed.
We lay beside each other, her head cradled against my chest.
After so long apart, the press of her body against mine is nothing so much as surreal. A deep sense of calm seems to wash over me, feelings I had forgotten existed springing suddenly to life.
Happiness, contentment. I feel wave after wave of emotion coil inside my chest.
Leaning forward, I kiss her once on the forehead, reaching up to run my fingers slowly through her hair.
A contented sigh escapes her, her breathing slowing noticeably.
“Cas…” She whispers softly, the word sounding like a prayer. In some ways, I suppose it is.
Before long, she’s sound asleep.
Chapter 8
Ana
Consciousness finds me slowly, light filtering through my eyelashes as I fight through the cavernous void between sleeping and waking.
Distantly I hear the sound of an engine, its purr sounding like a roar to my sleep addled ears. My body vibrates softly in time with its acceleration.
Thoughts trickle slowly through my head—remnants of a dream I can’t quite remember. Sensations come to mind; the feeling of a tight embrace, dimly shining light—Cas.
Cas!
My eyes fly open suddenly, my body jolting upright at nearly the same instant.
I look wildly about at my surroundings, confusion still coursing through me.
