by Jolie Day
Derek was losing his mind. He couldn’t find her anywhere and it was making him crazy. She hadn’t just gone quietly, she had disappeared. She had moved and was definitely not calling him back or responding to him. It had taken him a week to realize that he had been a fool. They had hours of conversation between them, and she was special. He wanted her…all the time. He had tried to drown his sorrows at first. He’d gone to a bar and yet, picking up a woman held no interest for him. It was then that he knew he was ruined for other women. Since then he had been looking for her. Her job was unable to tell him where she was working and he was at his wits end with them. He was helpless…not a feeling he was used to.
He waited for her. He was officially a stalker and he hated himself for it. Loving someone was not a familiar area for him. He could only assume that’s what he was feeling. He saw her in the office finally. She came out and he was at a loss for words. She was as beautiful as before but he was for a moment, unable to say anything to her.
“Derek…Derek, what are you doing here?” she gave him a confused smile.
“You…that’s what I’m doing here. I’ve been looking all over for you and you’re not responding to me. I wanted to check in on you and make sure you were ok.” He was a coward.
Before she could respond a family came by. There must have been five kids under 8 years old and the noise was deafening. He frowned until they were gone.
“That’s exactly why…it’s too much,” he said it more to himself than her but she heard his words. As much as she cared...as much as she loved him it would never work. They wanted different things and it was that simple.
“I am fine Derek, just working a lot that’s all.” She patted his hand. “It was nice of you to check in on me though, it’s very sweet. She moved towards her car, afraid the tears would fall.
“Wait, Jessie. Have dinner with me.” He fumbled the words out not sure what to say.
She took a deep breath, it hurt but it was necessary. “I can’t, Derek. I just can’t.” She slid into her car leaving him surprised and unsure what to do. He watched her leave, lost.
Time has a funny way of changing a person. Even now Jessie was looking at her reflection, amused. Big girl or not, at some point you all just get rounder and rounder. She still had four months to go but she was huge. She was working from home now, doing some freelance writing to make ends meet. Soon she would be feeding two people and things were a struggle already. She was constantly calculating and recalculating to see what she could shave off and what was a must in the bills department. It was Saturday today. She smiled to herself. It was her day to relax and just be pregnant. She was happy with her appearance, the pregnancy had brought out her natural glow. She was headed to a restaurant in town. She would pick one Saturday a month and take herself to lunch. It was a way of making herself appreciate what her body was going through. She finally made her way there and found a nice corner booth. She set herself up comfortably and smiled into the warmth of the sun. She missed him, his jokes and his touch. She was alone and she would be fine. Even if it meant being lonely, this baby was her number one priority. She ordered and was making her list for the day when she heard his voice and froze.
Derek was angry most of the time. He had been bitter since she left that day and even more so since then. She had made it clear she wanted nothing else from him, but he still couldn’t let her go. He hated being out of control and in turn he was just angry all the time. Today he had been forced to have this meeting. He had people to do this for him, but the client refused to deal with an underling. So he was here and chatting up this 20 something about branding. Even angry he was one hell of a pitch giver and they concluded business fairly quickly. He let his thoughts stray to her, she would like this place with its old world charm. He worried about her, even knowing she didn’t want him. He stood to go but not before he caught a glimpse of red. He felt his heart start beating faster as he made his way over to the table.
“Jessie?” he waited, hoping.
“Derek, hello.” She gave him a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “What are you doing all the way in Dover? It’s quite a ways from town.”
“Business. Wow, you look great, Jessie, really you’re beautiful.” He watched her face blush and he wanted to kiss her more than anything.
“Always the flatterer, Derek.” She seemed on edge and he hated that it was his fault.
“I just tell it like it is.” He wanted her to offer to let him sit down, he waited.
“Looks like you’re finished, Jessie, how was it?”
“It was great actually.” The waiter took that moment to bring back her change.
“Can I walk you out?” He knew it was better than nothing.
“Oh, that won’t be necessary, really.” She answered too quickly and he felt the sting once more.
“Well, it was good to see you, Jessie.”
“Yes you, too, Derek, really.” She gave him a huge smile and he made his way outside.
He wasn’t stupid, something was wrong and he damn well knew it. She had always been honest with him. It was their one rule. Even he had kept it other than not telling her he loved her. She had just sat there and lied to him, but he wasn’t sure why. There was only one sure way to figure it out and it was to watch for her to come outside. Maybe she had a boyfriend who was hurting her. Even thinking it filled him with jealously. He would kill anyone that hurt her. He sat back and he waited.
She exhaled as soon as she saw him leave. That had been too close. There was no way to hide her growing belly once she stood up from behind this booth. She waited a good five minutes before she stood and made her way out to her car. She thought nothing else about it until she made it home. She opened the door to her efficiency and once locked she sat on the couch and cried. She cried for the baby, and for seeing him. She cried because she missed and loved him so much and to have to reject him was like a knife in her heart. She also knew half of the reason she cried was hormones. She curled up on the couch but was only there a moment before she heard the knocking at her door. She sighed and fumbled over to the door and opened it. Derek stood there, she saw the anger in his eyes and she knew then that he knew the truth.
“Damnit, Jessie, is there anything you want to tell me?”
She sighed. “No, there isn’t really anything left to tell now is there?” She folded her arms and walked back to the couch and he followed after shutting the door.
He was frozen to the spot as she walked across the floor. “I’m sorry, Derek, I am sure you have rights. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. All you ever say is how you don’t want kids. Why would I say anything at all?”
He ran his hand through his hair frantically. “So you what…just don’t tell me your pregnant?!”
“No, I wasn’t going to tell you,” she turned and walked towards the kitchen and he was close on her heels.
“How could you take that from me Jessie, take this from me?” He gestured at her stomach and he fixated on it a moment longer. He was louder now. “I could provide a life for you, for the baby. Money and a home and food. Why, wouldn’t you want the best thing for him?”
“You said you didn’t want kids, I didn’t want to force you to love this one!” she yelled back. “We are doing just fine so far. We will be ok. I’m not asking you for anything. I don’t want to be a charity case.”
“A charity case?!! It’s my baby, too, Jessie,” he was louder than ever.
“Oh no…it’s my baby, and you can’t have it…ever.”
“I want both of you, and I would never take a baby from you Jessie, you know me.”
“You said you didn’t want kids, Derek, simple as that.”
“That was before, Jessie!”
“Before? Before what?!”
“Before I knew I was in love with you.” He sighed and slumped down in the chair closest to him. He had said it. He opened up his heart to her in every imaginable way.
“What did you say, Derek?” her te
ars were silently rolling down her cheeks now.
He stood slowly and walked towards her. He put a hand on either side of her face and gazed down into her beautiful eyes.
“Jessie, you are the most stubborn, beautiful, angry, perfect and loving woman I have ever met. I’ve been in love with you for long enough now that I know that being direct is what works best for you. I came looking for you right after and you were gone and today…” He hung his head slightly. “Tell me you feel something, Jessie, anything.” He watched her and waited.
She moved towards him now. He felt her reach for his hand and took it in hers. She placed his hand on her stomach and he felt the baby moving. His baby. He looked up at her and she smiled at him.
“That is your son or daughter getting settled. I thought you might like to feel it.”
He looked at her with a shock and awe. “My son.” He smiled at her and gathered her into his arms his mouth finding hers in a passionate kiss. He drank of her kisses until they were both breathless. This was right and good. He helped her into her seat and then planted sweet kisses on her stomach.
“I’m scared to death, Jessie. I’d be lying if I said anything else.”
“I’m scared too. I’ve been scared, and alone for months trying to get it together.” She looked over at him.
He suddenly frowned. “You know you never said it.” He kissed her stomach lightly.
“Said what?” she closed her eyes to rest them for a second.
“That you loved me, too.”
“Who said I did?” She tried to keep a serious face for a second but she eventually gave him a smile.
“I do love you Derek, very much.”
He leaned in to kiss her once more.
THE END
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Updated May 9th 2016
