“No, actually, I don’t wear anything like that and I use unscented soap. The scents are too harsh on us sometimes…” he replied, slightly amused. “But, I still smell good to you?”
“Absolutely,” Katey said through a mouthful of raw beef and they laughed at the way she responded.
Logan leaned his forehead onto the side of her head and let out a contented sigh. His hot breath tickled her neck, but she resisted the urge to pull away and smiled instead, loving the sensation it sent through her veins.
“To be honest, you’re the best thing I’ve ever smelled as well,” he whispered into her ear and began nuzzling his head against hers. Katey instinctively nuzzled back and couldn’t hold in her toothy grin that matched his.
“Are you feeling okay?” Katey asked. Logan lowered his eyebrows in confusion. “After that fight, are you okay?” she asked, her smile slowly fading.
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I heal quickly, after all.”
Katey pulled away and looked into his eyes. “I know, but he put that shoulder grip on you and...”
Logan leaned back as well. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” He lifted his gaze to meet hers again. “Did I frighten you?”
“No, the thought of losing you scared me.”
Logan gave her a comforting smile and pulled her in close to kiss her temple. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into her hair.
She smiled and leaned back onto his shoulder as she continued eating away at the contents of the bowl.
Once they finished, Logan rinsed out the bowl and placed it into the dishwasher. Still perched on the countertop, Katey felt a heavy drowsiness settle over her. Logan approached and set his hands on her knees, watching the way her eyelids drooped.
“Ready for bed?” he asked.
Katey nodded slowly and he carefully slid her off the counter to cradle her in his arms. She giggled and held tightly around his neck as he carried her upstairs.
Once they arrived to the second floor, he paused at his door, as if debating to take Katey in there or to her room. She could see the hesitation in his face and even she wondered what he would decide. She bit her lip and let one of her hands slide down to stroke along his cheek.
Logan took a hitching breath and turned his face away from her, the struggle visible in his eyes.
“Just this once?” she whispered as courage rose up within her and she turned his head back in her direction.
His eyes drifted down to her lips before he pulled her closer to kiss her as he did earlier in the hall. Sparks of pleasure shot down her core and Katey held on tighter, bracing for what would come.
But he didn’t take her into his bedroom. Through the haze of passion, Katey realized too late that he had brought her to her own room. When their lips detached and she could catch her breath, Logan lowered her to the mattress.
For a moment, he hovered over her, his hands supporting him on either side of her body as he gazed down at her with reddened eyes. Katey stretched herself across the comforter and waited as her chest rose and fell with each heavy breath she took.
“I can’t, Katey.”
“Why not?”
Logan rose and his absence from her came rushing in like a frigid breeze. “I respect you too much.”
He reached out and took her hand in his before he lovingly pressed his lips to her skin. She should have been grateful for his chivalry. He wasn’t Erik and Katey didn’t expect him to be. Yet, she couldn’t deny the pull of his masculinity. His forbearance only added to his magnetism.
In the end, she nodded her understanding. He was over a century old and still held true to his values.
“Every one of those boys who undressed you with their eyes at school, every time Erik looked at you, every time I heard their crude remarks, I wanted to tear them to pieces.” Logan turned to her, a peculiar darkness in his eyes. “I’ve never felt such… possession over anyone or anything.”
Katey grinned. “I think you’re jealous.”
A small smile crept to his lips. “Jealousy doesn’t begin to describe it.” He leaned down to give her one last kiss and her body ached for his touch once more.
He stood before he could answer such a plea and crossed the floor to stand in the doorway. She didn’t want to spend the night without him. She didn’t want to feel alone, even with him just down the hall.
“Goodnight, Katey.”
She trembled at the unique and delightful way he could utter her name and the planets would align. “Goodnight, Logan.”
Once he shut the door, Katey immediately felt the ache of loneliness blanket her heart. Such desire couldn’t be healthy and she found herself in the same place she had been again when she realized that she had grown too attached. But what was there to hold them back now? What force, loup-garou or human, could rip them apart now that such a powerful bond hummed between them?
After changing into her pajamas, she climbed back into bed, under the covers and turned her back toward the door. She knew very well that if she watched the door, she would be tempted to walk out of it and back into his arms.
She could hear every step he took, from walking down the hall, to the bathroom, and across to his room. She could hear him taking clothes out of his drawers, pulling them on, and sitting down at his drawing desk. She could even hear the gentle scraping of the lead and charcoal across the paper of his newest project.
In an effort to distract herself, Katey clung to her stuffed husky dog toy and tried to imagine it was Logan instead. But, not even Captain Jack’s fur could simulate the warmth and tenderness that Logan gave to her and the desire to feel something hug back was becoming too strong.
For the better part of an hour, Katey debated whether she should stay in bed and be miserable or go to Logan and at least sleep on his floor for the night. Just to be close, nearer than she was now, could have afforded her some relief.
Katey checked her phone and it was almost midnight. She sighed once more, admitted defeat and carefully tiptoed down the hall and to Logan’s door. Staring at his initials that were etched into the wood, she tried to summon the courage to knock. What if he turned her away? What if he asked her in and took her just as he had said he wouldn’t? Whatever the outcome, she had to be ready for it. Calling on her wolf for the bravery she needed most dearly, she sucked in a deep breath and tapped on the door with her fingernail.
“Hmm?” Katey heard from inside.
She slapped herself in the forehead and began to retreat back to her room, but before she had a chance, Logan opened his door and stood in the threshold, looking at her.
Katey glanced back, afraid she had made another mess with her thoughtlessness. Logan stood there in only a pair of flannel pajamas, his torso bare and provocative as ever, but he didn’t even look remotely tired at all. His lamp was shining dimly on his desk, but other than that, the room was dark.
“You okay?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe, showcasing himself in such a way that made heat rise up her neck. Katey stumbled with her words a little and pointed to her room, then to his, knowing that she must have looked like an idiot.
“Uh... Yeah, I just... Um... I had a nightmare... can I stay in your room for the night?” Katey lied like a fool.
He grinned with amusement and moved aside so she could walk in. He closed his door quietly, his chest achingly close to her shoulder as he slid past her to return to his work. The last time she was in his room, he tried imprinting her. Now, with the door closed and the rest of the pack far away, they could try much more than that.
But Logan’s mind was not on intimacy as he sat back down in his chair and picked up his pencil again.
“Can I watch?” Katey asked.
Logan didn’t look her way as he nodded. “Sure.”
“Is there ever a time you’re not drawing?” Katey asked, trying to fill the awkward silence as she watched him over his shoulder. Her eyes couldn’t help but drink in the soft, smooth surface of his skin, so near and yet so off-limit
s.
“It’s a way to de-stress. I mostly draw at night until I fall asleep,” he replied as she peered down at the work-in-progress.
It was a sketch of three wolves. Two were growling and ready to leap onto the other, but the third was standing between them, as if trying to make peace. Katey assumed the inspiration for such art came from the match that night.
Another piece of art caught her attention, one that she had never seen before. It was a little wooden figurine of a howling wolf that sat near the corner of his desk. She carefully reached over and picked it up. Logan paused and leaned back to watch her take the figurine and rotate it in her hands. The smoothness of the wood surprised her. Not a single jagged edge or protruding splinter. It also looked old, as if it had been carved many years before.
“Where’d you get this?” she asked, fascinated by the detail from the wolf’s fur to the realistic contour of the eyes.
“I carved it,” he replied, his voice heavy with something that Katey couldn’t recognize. It had a tinge of nostalgia hidden beneath layers of desolation that sparked her interested.
“It’s beautiful,” she marveled. “What’s the story behind it?”
Logan let out a sigh and took it from her hands, holding it up in the lamp light. “I carved this for a young girl a long time ago. She was the first girl that I ever told my secret to.” Katey felt a twinge of envy. “At the time, I didn’t know she had understood me because she spoke another language... But later I found out that she did understand and she didn’t shun me for it. She acted like it didn’t change anything.” His eyes went a bit misty and Katey wrapped her arms around her waist, feeling his mysterious pain.
“What happened to her?”
He leaned over and set the wolf figurine back in its place. “We met on the Titanic. She’s dead now. I don’t know if she ever made it to a lifeboat or if old age took her in later years.”
“I’m sorry,” Katey muttered. She wanted to be angry that she was not the first human girl to know about his loup-garou nature, but she couldn’t resent someone who meant so much to him at the time and could have been taken by such a tragedy.
A smile spread across his face and he looked back up to her. “Don’t be. It’s all in the past.”
Katey wandered around his room, inspecting the woodcarvings on the furniture while he bent his head back down to his drawing to add the finishing touches. Katey still could hardly believe how life-like the beastly images in the furniture seemed.
“Where did you get these furniture pieces?” she asked.
“I made them,” he replied.
“Okay, who did all the carving and stuff?”
“I did,” he said, calmly. Katey stared back at him, astonished by his amazing craftsmanship.
“Really? That must have taken forever.”
Logan turned around in his chair to look at the bed’s headboard. “Not really,” he replied, shaking his head a little. “I think the whole room took only two weeks of my time.”
“How did you get to become such an artist?” Katey asked, tracing her fingers along the edges of the cougar’s head in the headboard.
“When I was younger... before I changed, I was a carpenter’s assistant for a few years. When I changed, the skills became master level, as did a lot of other things... I can make the same furniture for you if you’d like?” he solicited, watching Katey as she came back to his desk.
“That’d be cool,” she replied, turning her attention to the portraits on the wall. “Are you ever going to tell me who that woman is?” she asked, stepping up next to him and motioning to one of the images she particularly liked of the girl surrounded by the wolves.
Logan sat up and leaned back into his chair, examining each picture carefully with a wicked smile spread across his face. “Isn’t it obvious... It’s you.”
Katey’s jaw dropped as she gazed at what she now knew as her likeness. “Me? But I didn’t look like this the whole time we’ve known each other. I wasn’t this beautiful before you changed me,” she said, delicately pulling one of the pictures down for her to examine.
“This is how I saw you. You were always beautiful in my eyes. Nothing has changed.” Logan’s voice was laced with the abounding love and admiration he held for her.
“But in the picture, you drew me without glasses,” Katey said, holding up the sketch in her hands so he could see what she meant. Logan shrugged.
“So, what? It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still beautiful... and stunning... and perfect, kind, gentle...” Katey’s lips parted and her cheeks flushed a deep red. Logan’s eyes shifted back to her and he cleared his throat.
Katey resisted the urge to argue with him about what beauty was or what it wasn’t. He wanted her and thought her pretty enough to draw in such a breathtaking way. That was enough. “You really think all of that?” she asked, handing the drawing back into his master craftsman hands.
He nodded and pinned the paper back onto the wall. “I do… I truly do.”
Katey wrapped her arms around her core and bit her lips tight to keep her from busting out in a fit of giggles.
“Um... So, I’ll sleep on the floor and you can sleep in my bed,” he said flatly as if he hadn’t just rambled about all of her better qualities. He stood up and grabbed one of the pillows that sat at the head of his bed.
Katey sharply shook her head to snap her out of the daze he had put her in. “No, it’s okay... um...” She paused in indecision and looked from the ground to his bed. Logan turned to Katey, alert to her next words. “The floor is really hard and that’s not fair to you... We can both stay in the bed,” Katey said a little softly, but she that knew he could hear her because his reaction revealed his shock.
“Katey,” Logan groaned. “I can’t… I can’t allow such temptations to ruin things between us. Please, understand that I’m… I’m waiting for marriage.”
It was anything but comical, but Katey felt like laughing. In this day and age, who could say they had waited over a hundred years for the right person to come along? She couldn’t begin to imagine the kind of discipline it took for Logan to deny that primal need for intimacy from anyone. Yet, she could see it in his eyes that if there was ever a woman he wanted in that way, it was her.
“I can respect that,” she replied, fully aware that the next words to come out of her mouth would leave her completely and totally vulnerable. “I just need to be close to you. All I ask is to be near you and know you’re there.”
But instead of denying her again, Logan seemed to relax and he eased back from his defensive posture.
He didn’t say a word, but he put the pillow back in its place at the head of the bed and pulled the comforter out a bit so they could both slide in.
Katey’s stomach fluttered. She had never crawled into bed with a man before and she was sure she never would with anyone else again.
Katey climbed under the warm covers, letting her bare feet brush against the crisp sheets and waited for Logan as he turned off his lamp on the other side of the room. She watched him glide through the darkness and slip into the bed next to her. She wondered if he could hear her pounding heart within her chest as he lowered himself down onto the mattress.
They laid and faced each other, both of them anxious to get near the other. Katey couldn’t believe she was there, with Logan, like that. All she could think about was how his eyes reminded her of the ocean; calm, deep, and serene, and that his familiar scent was the closest thing to home she knew. Nothing about this seemed wrong to her. It only scared her that it seemed too right.
Logan was the first to move as he shifted a little closer to close the gap between them. Katey scooted herself in as well and before long, their bodies were just barely touching one another. She silently willed her body to be still, but calm was nearly impossible while he was so dangerously close.
Logan’s arm carefully wrapped around her waist. Katey pushed herself in closer and Logan’s leg entwined itself around hers, drawing her in
to him. She couldn’t help but inwardly remark that they fit together so snug, like two puzzle pieces perfectly meant for each other.
“Is this okay?” he whispered, his breath hot on her face and engulfing her senses.
“Yes,” she breathed in reply, resisting the needs of her feminine body to touch and demand more than what he was willing to give. To Katey, everything was in its right place; all was good and fine in the world, just to be in his arms and holding him like this. They didn’t need sexual intimacy to love one another like this.
Their foreheads touched and Logan’s nose faintly brushed with hers, breathing deeply as his eyes drifted shut. Katey knew that he could sense the same thing that she did; that grand sense of completeness that only existed when they were with one another. His lips curled into a peaceful smile and he seemed to already be asleep, but all the fatigue she had been feeling before was gone in the wake of the euphoric feeling deep within her. It thrilled her and yet, soothed her spirit all at the same time. Even her wolf felt like this was right and glowed with gladness.
Katey watched as he breathed in and out in a deep steady rhythm. It was dark, but not too dark that she couldn’t search every detail of his face.
“Logan?” Katey whispered, hardly finding the breath at all to speak.
“Hmm?”
“Do you really love me?” Katey asked.
Logan’s eyes cracked open to gaze deep into hers. “Yes... I love you.”
His eyes burned a bright blue with the answer and hers seemed to beam back. “Why?” she asked. It was the question that burdened her mind since the day he first confessed that she was beautiful. With every compliment he gave, every kind gesture he performed, Katey asked herself why he would take the time for a person like her. Why would he choose to be with a girl like her when he could have had any girl on the planet. She was an orphan, a nobody, but his love slowly made her into a somebody and Katey couldn’t comprehend why.
Logan’s hand found its way to her hair and his fingers weaved through the wavy locks. “You’re everything to me... I feel more like a man than a monster when I’m with you,” he mumbled, affectionately nuzzling his nose against hers and his fingers tenderly stroked behind her head. “I don’t want to lose you. Not to death, not to Erik, not to anything... I love you more than mere words can express,” he muttered, sliding the arm that he was lying on, underneath her pillow and pulling her in even tighter until their bodies were as one.
Becoming the Enigma (The Loup-Garou Series Book 2) Page 19
