by Frank Perdue
He looked at her. She was still attractive. He felt the same surge of pride he had known all those years of growing up when he realized that his mother was the best looking of them all.
He had come there to yell, maybe even scream at her. But he couldn’t do it. To his surprise, all he felt at that moment was love.
He had pictured the scene in his mind at least twenty times. It had kept him awake well into the early morning hours the past two days. He would ask her when she intended to tell him about his adoption? She would be shocked, and at first deny it. Then he would tell her about his twin brother. He would ask if the lonely days and nights he had spent all those years were worth it to her? He blamed his insecurities on her selfishness. He could understand not being told early in his life. But later, in his teen years, why did they remain silent? Were they so unsure of his love that they thought they might lose him? It was his life! He should have been given the choice of what direction that life would take.
What about Joseph Gentry? He was lost in all the deception. It was as if he died that day Owen and Elaine Warner claimed him. Maybe he would have been a Marine war hero like his brother. He might have been able to provide for his mother in such a way that she wouldn’t have died alone and poor. She might not have died at all. He could have been a good influence on his brother, so that he would have had a better childhood, with less trouble. Instead, it was as if Joseph Gentry never existed. There was nothing of him in Ted Warner, except the physical side. Even that could have been subtly changed over the years by the vastly contrasted environments within which the two boys would be fated to grow to manhood. Ted knew that his nose was straight not just by chance, but by the fact that he never took risks. He would have had no choice on the streets of a rough neighborhood like East Park. Of course he was lucky, but he didn’t consider that in his assessment.
Later Ted might realize that Owen and Elaine Warner, and Bessie Gentry, and Nancy Austin, who ran the maternity home, had conspired not to ruin his life, but to give him the chance for a better one. Some of their motives might have been slightly selfish, but considering the way his life turned out, perhaps that could be excused. Besides selfishness is a common human trait. It’s been passed around rather equally.
Perhaps it was cowardice, but more likely the emotion was love that insured Ted’s silence. Instead he and Elaine Warner sat and made the small talk of a mother and her son, until it was time for him to go. In the end, as he left to meet another waiting taxi, he kissed his mother on the mouth.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
When Ted arrived back at the hotel, Joanna hadn’t yet returned. He called the desk and asked for messages, but there was nothing.
He decided to rent a car after all. It was something he should have done when they arrived. He knew that he would want to see where Jake and his mother had lived, and maybe try to find some of the sites he had seen in his dreams. He called the same rental company he had used before, AAA. He bet they got a lot of business just by being first in the listings. He’d been treated well by them.
The hotel was on a bus line that went by the Airport. Rather than call another cab, he went down and waited for the bus. Twenty minutes later he was at the rental counter, and ten minutes after that he was driving another Ford back downtown.
He parked in the lot provided by the hotel. When he reached his floor, he left the elevator and went directly to Joanna’s room. If she wasn’t back yet he would be worried.
She answered his knock almost before the resonant sound of his knuckles on wood faded.
“That was a nice long visit?” She looked at him questioningly
“I couldn’t do it. We just had a good talk.”
Suddenly she flew into his arms, and kissed him full on the lips. She leaned back, still holding his waist, with an affectionate smile on her face. “I knew you’d do the right thing. I’m so proud of you!”
He couldn’t believe his good fortune; being that close to her. “I have a lot of good traits you don’t know about.” There was a big grin on his face. “Maybe you’d like to kiss me for each of them in advance?”
She let go of his waist and stepped back. “Fool” she said, affectionately. “I am glad to see you, though.”
“Did you buy anything?” He changed the subject before it became awkward.
“No. But I did a lot of walking and looking. You were right though. It’s mostly just offices and bank buildings here now. I did walk up the hill to the El Cortez Hotel. It’s rather interesting.”
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Famished. I didn’t take time to get any lunch.”
“We can fix that. I rented a car. I know a great place to eat. It’s out in Ocean Bay. After dinner maybe you’ll feel like some sightseeing.”
“That sounds great. I’ll get my coat.”
Ted answered, “I’ll get mine, too, and meet you back here in a minute.”
They made only small talk on the way to the restaurant. She commented on what a beautiful city it was. He agreed. Neither of them wanted to talk about what had just happened between them. He knew that it was too soon for her, after Jake. She, on the other hand, was confused by her feelings for this man beside her, who, for all intents and purposes, was still a comparative stranger to her.
After dinner, which Joanna agreed was perfect, they decided to walk on the beach. The moon was nearly full, but they resisted its romantic spell.
Ted finally broke an awkward silence that had lasted too long. “You never did finish the story about Jake in Alaska.”
“You’re right. Where did I leave off?”
“You said he had just received word of his mother’s death.”
“Well, the way he told it to me, he went on the bender to end all. He hit every bar in Ketchikan, twice. And he said there are a lot of clubs there. He had started before noon. He wasn’t drinking just beer. His only purpose was to get loaded, and to forget.”
“Sometime that evening he was sitting on a barstool, and a sailor went dancing by with a girl that Jake decided he wanted. He took a swing at the guy, and missed. His momentum carried him onto the dance floor, sprawling. Apparently the sailor took offense and jumped Jake. What followed was more of a wrestling match than a fight. Then the Shore Patrol broke it up.”
“They were going to send Jake back to his ship, but one of the SPs was a marine from Jake’s platoon. He didn’t want his buddy to get in trouble. He knew that some of the other marines were at a strip joint just out of town. He decided that if he could get Jake joined up with the others, they would take care of him.”
“He was put in a cab, and the driver was given strict orders to deposit Jake at this place with the other marines. That part worked to perfection. The cabbie not only drove him to the club, he took Jake inside and sat him with his buddies. When he told them what had happened, they agreed to watch Jake and keep him out of trouble, and they did, for awhile.”
“Remember I told you it was a strip club?” Ted nodded affirmatively. “Well,” Joanna continued, “These guys became so intent on the show that Jake was able to slip out unnoticed. He left his cap on the table. It seems that about the time the show started, Jake felt something on the underside of his chin. It turned out to be dried blood. In his drunken wisdom Jake decided that the guy in the last bar had hit him. So he had to go back and get even.”
“The strip joint was only about a mile out of town, and Jake knew it. It would be a short walk. The only thing was, he turned the wrong way. He started walking away from town,. He said it was raining.”
“Up until then Jake remembered everything. Some of this next stuff he learned from his Arraignment in Ketchikan Municipal Court.”
“I dreamed about that day in court.” Ted interjected. “That’s when I first heard his name.”
“That’s crazy. I don’t know how that could happen. You guys must have been so in tune with each other somehow. Jake told me he had dreams about you too. Of course, he knew he had a twin brother bec
ause his mother had told him.”
“It’s good to know that I’m not the only one this happened to. I don’t mind telling you that I thought I was going nuts there for awhile.”
“Well you’re not nuts, just special.” Joanna smiled at him.
“Anyway,” she continued, “he wanted to find shelter from the rain, which had become heavier. He leaned against some stairs, which he thought, in his frame of mind, were outside somewhere. As it turned out, he had gone inside someone’s house.”
“He heard a noise at the top of the stairs. He was afraid. He didn’t know what was up there. He huddled as close to the wooden staircase as he could. Then the footsteps came, one after the other, down that creaky wooden structure. Suddenly they stopped. That’s when Jake was hit over the head with the handle of a gun.”
“If Jake was in somebody’s house, and they had a gun, why didn’t they shoot him?” Ted interrupted.
“Because they couldn’t find their bullets!”
“That’s incredible!”
“Isn’t it? Anyway, to continue, a man wrestled Jake to the floor. Apparently the knock on the head didn’t do it. He pointed the gun at Jake and said, “don’t move,” just like in the movies. Then he said. “Why are you here?” Jake answered, and this next part is really strange, “I was sent here to rob you. Do you know of anyone who would want you robbed?””
“Wait a minute. That doesn’t make sense!” Ted interrupted again.
“I know it doesn’t.” Joanna answered, impatiently. “But that’s what Jake told me the man testified in court.”
“I’m sorry. Go on.”
“It gets weirder. Then Jake asked the man holding the gun, “Are you Joe Crimmer?” The man said. “No. What’s your name?” and Jake answered “Joe Crimmer”.
“When it was Jake’s turn to testify, he stood up, and started to speak. As he did he noticed the police turned on their tape recorders at the same time. Apparently a little light went on in his head, telling him that anything he might say could be held against him later. So he said he didn’t have anything to say at that time, and sat down.”
“He told me that there was only one lawyer in the entire town. Jake had asked to see him. They had a meeting before the arraignment. Jake told the man his story. The lawyer told Jake that he didn’t believe him, and that he thought Jake was guilty. He wouldn’t take his case. That left Jake without representation. Now you and I know that’s against the law. He didn’t ask to defend himself. The case could probably have been dismissed right there. But instead, the Judge bound him over for trial after his plea of not guilty.”
“A sympathetic cop was able to get Jake transferred somehow to the Federal Jail in Anchorage, where the case might be heard sooner than the six months it would take for the traveling Superior Court judge to show up again in Ketchikan.”
“To make a long story short. In Anchorage Jake was able to hire a lawyer. The lawyer in turn sent a bail bondsman to get him out of jail. Jake had the money from his back pay while he was in Korea. After all that, Jake pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor. It was a lesser count than the felony breaking and entering he was originally charged with. He was given eighteen months probation, with a stipulation that he not drink for that same period.”
Joanna continued, “the Marines decided not to prosecute him. He was able to serve out his enlistment, and was even recommended for reenlistment. They did, however, hold out any chance for advancement. So he was discharged honorably in nineteen fifty-four.”
By the time Joanna finished her story, it was growing dark. They decided to forego their sightseeing for the next day, which was Friday.
He walked Joanna to her door, and even though most of the evening was still ahead of them, he kissed her on the forehead, said goodnight, and went on to his own room. It had been an eventful day.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Long ago, before the decade of the sixties, most people believed that there was one person in the world meant just for them. There were scores of books and movies that espoused that one theme. Until Rock and Roll, most songwriters survived with lyrics about one boy and one girl, born to be together forever.
Ted Warner had believed all the stories and the music. It gave him hope. But somewhere along the path to manhood, his dreams of the perfect woman who would love only him were diluted. He found that women didn’t want an average guy like him. It wasn’t until he changed his personality, and became someone else, that he had any success at all with the opposite sex. He had to pretend he didn’t care. It was only then that women were attracted to him. So the affairs were short, and meant nothing to either partner. They acted out their roles and then parted in search of another liaison. In the sixties that theme escalated as the era of free love began.
In all his life, Ted Warner had never come close to true love. He knew the moment he saw Joanna, helpless in that hospital bed, that she was the one. He wouldn’t admit it. Hell, he didn’t even know if she would survive. It had to be enough just to look at her, and to touch her hand. If she came out of it, he knew the baggage she would be carrying around in her mind. His timing was terrible.
So he didn’t say anything. He was on a mission anyway. She was the key, somehow, that would unlock whatever mystery that had brought them together; she, and Jake, and him.
Now he knew. It had all been laid out for him. Jake had been his twin brother. Bessie Gentry was his Birth Mother. And Joanna? She was his brother’s fiancee. She would have been untouchable had Jake lived. But now?
She was just beyond that thin door that separated their rooms. Was it locked from her side? He could break it down if it was. Oh sure. That would make her fall in your arms, he thought sarcastically. Soon he realized that his only option was to do nothing, except be her friend. Stay close to her as long as he could.
Joanna closed the door behind her, and threw herself on her bed. What was wrong with her? She had been trembling when Ted kissed her on the forehead. She wanted so to kiss him passionately. It was the way she felt. She’d been ready to throw caution to the wind, to use an old cliche, and invite him into her bed. A week ago, she was still in love with his brother. She should be married to Jake. She had to purge these lustful thoughts from her mind, and give herself back to her memory of Jake.
Remember when he first came to San Francisco to see her? He showed up in jeans, wearing a plaid shirt, and a dark wool cap. It was five months after they met in the Nation’s Capitol.
They went out dancing, to country music. It was her favorite. He was a very good dancer. She remembered thinking that he was probably too experienced at everything for her. Even though he presented a rough exterior, that of a man who was afraid of nothing, she also saw his gentle side.
He kissed her that night. She didn’t resist. After all, they were not strangers. They had been in a street fight together. Six months later, he moved in with her. They lived together, when he was not out to sea, for six years.
Now he was gone. And she would be thirty years old in a few months.
She liked the name Joseph better than Ted. Oops. There she went again. She drifted off to sleep, still in her clothes.
Saturday was to be their last day in San Diego. Ted was awake by six. No wonder. He had fallen asleep before ten the night before. If Joanna was up to it he wanted to get an early start. After his shower and shave he called her room. The phone rang three times before her sleepy voice came on the line.
“I was dreaming about you.” she said.
“Oh? What was it about?” He was flattered.
“You had just turned into a frog named Boris.” She laughed into the mouthpiece. “I was about to turn you back into the handsome prince, when the phone rang. Pity”
“Okay. So you got even for my calling so early and waking you up. Sorry. Will you be ready for some food and sightseeing in an hour?”
“I think I can manage that.” She was in an extremely good mood. Thankfully, he couldn’t see that her clothes were a mess.
Their first stop was the church he had driven by long ago in East Park.
“Yes, that’s it!” exclaimed Joanna. “That has to be the one Jake told me he fell from. He lived just across the street,” she said, pointing diagonally to the southeast. There were apartments there now. The old cabins Joanna had described were gone.
“Are we going to eat today?” Joanna asked. Ted had forgotten in his excitement at seeing the church.
“Yeah. That sounds like a plan. University Avenue is just a few blocks from here.” He pointed south. “There must be a restaurant somewhere nearby.” They climbed back in the rental car, which was pointed in the right direction.
As they approached University, a main east-west arterial that passed near San Diego State University a few miles further east, Ted noticed a huge scaffold towering high above one of the buildings on the south side of the Avenue. Curiously, there was nothing being supported there.
They found a small cafe right away. It looked clean from the outside, so they decided to have breakfast there. When a waitress came to bring coffee and take their order, Ted asked about the structure, which was right across the street.
“Oh, you mean above the East Park theater. There used to be two huge metal drums there, like oil tanks, only they were on their side. I don’t know if there was ever anything in them.” She left to give their ticket to the cook.
After a very filling, greasy meal, Ted asked Joanna if she knew where Bessie’s grave was. She nodded affirmatively “It’s not far from here.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were standing in front of a nice, expensive granite marker with Bessie Gentry’s name on it. Ted looked questioningly at Joanna.
“Jake bought it for her. He paid it off by the month. It was very important to him.”
Ted began to cry, not so much for the woman buried there, whom he had never known, but for himself. He had missed so much.
Joanna, with tears in her own eyes, opened her arms to the sensitive man who was her companion, held him close, and comforted him.
