by Shey Stahl
When I agreed to meet him, I thought maybe this one night could be what my life was missing. Help me move on and give myself a chance at finding happiness. If that happiness was with Silas, I was okay with that. Well, I was okay with that was six weeks ago. Now, I wasn’t as sure.
What I didn’t see was that I hadn’t been looking for love. I wasn’t even giving it a chance. It wasn’t because I was caught up on Silas and what he did to me. It was like I couldn’t move on without an answer.
I couldn’t tell you why I hadn’t moved on from Silas but it was more than likely because I didn’t understand why he left.
Then I met Destry Stone. And everything changed completely.
I still had to have that answer though.
When Silas left I never got an answer as to why—a question that a girl like me, the one looking for the story, the underlining meaning, needed. And I’d admit, part of me, the story seeker, had thought maybe after all this time I would finally get my answer.
Some would wonder if I had moved on. Most would hope, right? Especially after everything with Destry. Unfortunately for me, that hadn’t happened. I might have physically moved on, but there was a good part of me that, after seeing him, still hoped I would get the answer.
Power punches are hooks, straight rights or lefts, uppercuts, or stiff jabs. Power punches are solid punches to the chin, head, or body that inflict damage.
I didn’t take into account the traffic getting to the concert. Strangely enough this was the first time Silas Cade had returned to Seattle for a concert. Everyone wanted to see him because of that. Hometown famous rock star returns home.
Last night Silas told me to meet his assistant at the entrance and she would take me back.
By the time I got to the Key Arena, the opening band was already on.
Rachel, the assistant he told me about, was there waiting for me when I arrived. With a smile that struck me as fake, she handed me a pass I placed around my neck. “You’re Tallan Spencer, right?” I nodded. “You’re late.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Isn’t she just pleasant as all hell?
She gave a nod, waving at me but never offering her hand. “I’m Rachel Mattis. I’m Mr. Cade’s assistant.”
Mr. Cade? How formal.
I took one look at her twelve-year-old body and knew Silas had probably slept with her. She was that typical bony super-model thin I constantly saw hanging off him in photographs.
Rachel took me through doors, down a long hallway and through two more sets of doors. Around us equipment was scattered, people talked to men in ripped jeans hanging on barely legal woman with half their ass hanging out. It was definitely a rock concert. I felt completely out of place. A man to my right was staring at me, his black ripped t-shirt hanging off him and a tattoo on his face. Classy.
When I looked at him, he gave me a once over and then winked.
My attention went to Rachel when she knocked on a door. My heart was in my throat, my hands shaking when I realized the person behind that door was Silas. I had second thoughts right then.
Rachel gave me a nod and then pushed the door open. My feet would barely move.
When I did walk in, Silas was there with his feet up on the table in front of him staring at his cell phone in his right hand. In the left was a glass filled with a honey colored liquid over ice. My heart pounded but this wasn’t the feeling I thought I would feel.
He looked up immediately and blinked. Slowly he took in my appearance. My hair was longer, my hips wider, maybe even a few wrinkles since the last time he saw me. I wasn’t that eighteen-year-old girl anymore.
With head to toe tattoos. Silas looked very different from the boy I knew in high school. He had filled out, fit, but had nothing on Destry when it came to muscles.
His dark hair was messy but artfully spiked in the front. He watched me curiously as I stepped inside the room, his brow slightly scrunched. “Tallan?”
“Yeah?” I finally met his eyes. Same blue.
I wanted green.
He shook his head, a soft smile gracing his full lips. My eyes went to the lip ring I hadn’t seen in photographs. It suited him well. “You’re just as beautiful as I remember.”
Cheesy. Stupid. Leave now. That’s what I told myself.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t plan on staying that night. I even told Jared I wouldn’t. I would meet up with him only because I needed to know. I was no longer interested in anything else. What Silas and I had back then was lost. It was lost the day he walked away with no answer. I truly wished him happiness, but I wasn’t his happiness any longer. I knew that now looking at him. It wasn’t there.
Nothing he said tonight could change that. Destry had opened my eyes to what I refused to see these last five years. Just because one star goes out doesn’t mean another isn’t lit for you. Doesn’t mean you can’t blow it out either.
I wanted an answer so I just came out with it.
“Why?” I asked refusing to waste any time.
“I don’t blame you for hating me.” He stood, his body tensed as he held up his palms. “I expected it. I deserve it.”
Rachel stuck her head in. “It’s time.”
She disappeared and Silas walked toward the door.
“Really? Why am I here, Silas?” He had no idea how much he deserved my anger. I looked back so furiously hurt I was scared my voice would break and I wouldn’t get out what I needed. “You expected it? Deserved it? Fucking right you did. I loved you, Silas. And not just any love. I was ready to marry you, forget everything I ever wanted, for you. It was the half of myself, fucking holding my ripped out heart in my hands type of love!”
“Just please stay and we can talk about this after. I have to get out there.” He begged, sounding like he was ready to drop to his knees as he walked towards the door. “Just please stay. I have to get out there but don’t leave. I want to talk to you after the concert. Please.”
I hoped he did fall to his knees because maybe, just maybe, he would feel that pain I had felt for so long. The pain that had consumed me longer than I wanted to remember.
I started a different walk of shame out of this place, leaving Silas just like he’d left me all those years ago.
“Why?” I asked following him despite my lack of visibility between the tears of anger at this man who had consumed my past. In the distance, to the right, I could see the stage lights and the howl of the crowd shouting his name.
“Because I want to talk to you after the show. I can’t right now,” Silas said, like it was that easy. Like I should listen to him no matter what. He had now almost reached me, as our heavy steps were silenced by a pounding of the fans.
“I should go.”
“Why can’t I explain?” He sounded frustrated. I was too. “I gave you that ticket. Why can’t you just stay?”
My stomach lurched, twisting into more anger and resentment as about ten people swarmed around him, another two bodyguards flanking his sides. “Why should you be able to explain, Silas? You could have explained before leaving me years ago.”
Silas groaned almost seeming sincere. “Because I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Tallan.” He kept apologizing and repeating himself as he walked away toward the stage, but still, I didn’t have the answer I was looking for.
He turned around then, his tall frame disappearing on stage. I could no longer see him, but I could hear him take the stage.
“Seattle!” He shouted in the microphone. “How’s my hometown?”
I should go. I told myself to go. But then I’d never get my answer.
Below the belt is an imaginary line from the belly button to the top of the hips where a boxer is not supposed to hit. To hit below the belt is to not behave according to the rules of decency.
I honestly couldn’t tell you anything about that concert other than the very first song he played was “Never Knew” and he dedicated it to me. Silas played for two hours and I watched him from the front row. But I heard noth
ing but that first song. My mind was elsewhere. I thought of Destry the entire time. I wasn’t sure I meant a goddamn thing to him anymore, but he sparked something inside of me that made me want more. Deserve more. I wanted to have just an ounce of the passion he had for fighting.
The only reason I stayed for that concert was to get my answer.
After the concert he asked me to go to Q Nightclub with him. I’m an idiot because I went. I thought somehow we’d be able to finally talk away from the crowds and groupies.
“Why now, Silas?” I asked when we were tucked away in the back of the nightclub in a private room.
“I missed you.” His words were slurred as he slouched in the booth, watching me. There was a distinct difference between the Silas I saw before the concert, and now. He was high, on what, I had no idea. But I still needed my goddamn answer.
“Why did you leave and only offer me a phone call? I thought I meant more to you than that?”
“I was a dumb kid.” He looked up when a tall blonde handed him a drink. She set one down for me too. One I had no intention of drinking. “I was… a dick and I’m sorry.”
I shook my head crossing my arms over my chest remembering Destry’s words. “That’s not good enough.”
“Then why are you here?” He laughed leaning forward to retrieve his drink. He took a sip and then waited for my answer. “You didn’t really think you’d come here and we’d talk, did you?”
Destry was right. Jared was right.
“Because I had to hear you say it in person.” I admitted feeling uncomfortable.
I’d gone over it in my head—what I would say to him, the words, the expression, the tone—all of it. This, right now, wasn’t how I saw it happening.
“No. You’re here because you wanted to see me too.”
“Yes, I did. I’ll admit when you called I didn’t care what happened between us. Just that I got to see you again. I was so hung up on just knowing that you even remembered me, I didn’t care how you remembered me. If that makes sense. But I do now. I care. I wanted to know why. Why after five years would you call me?”
He had no answer at first and just about the time I was ready to give up, he answered. “Because I missed you, Tallan. It’s not that complicated. And Marcus said… he said you wanted to see me. I thought you know, what the hell for old time’s sake.”
“Marcus? Wait… what?”
What the fuck is he talking about? Marcus? My Marcus?
“Marcus Hadley. He called me months back and said you wanted to see me and gave me your number.”
Silas stood, as though none of this mattered when a slow bass kicked and a song I knew came over the speakers. Two of his body guards watched closely but kept their distance, his hand reached for mine. “Come on baby, dance with me.”
He reached down and pulled me up. I pushed back my hands on his shoulders. “No, Silas. You’re high.”
I had strength—thanks to Destry—but I couldn’t hold off Silas. I didn’t think he’d do anything stupid but now I understood.
“What do you mean Marcus called you?”
Silas sighed taking a step back. “He called me.”
“So…” and then it hit me, the realization of everything came suddenly like a sucker punch to my face, a below the belt hit. “You never would have called me if he wouldn’t have called you?”
He shrugged rolling his eyes. “Why does it matter?” he leaned in, as if I would kiss him.
“No, answer the question. You wouldn’t have called, would you?”
Silas shook his head in annoyance. “No. I wouldn’t have… but you’re here now. Let’s make the best of tonight. Just one night.”
Was he fucking serious?
Apparently so.
I’d had Destry show me a move or two in the ring but what I should have had him help me with was self defense. I had no chance against a man who was high right now. His strength amplified by whatever was flowing through his veins.
A nervous sweat was taking me over. I couldn’t fight off this guy who had loved me a long time ago. What’s worse? He had bodyguards standing guard over more than just the safety of Silas. I was a virtual prisoner with no chance in hell of walking away unscathed, physically and emotionally.
It was then that his body guards moved, based on his nod to them, and I was trapped inside the private room. Absolutely no one would be able to hear me scream, if I did. I had my phone in my purse and dialed when Silas turned his head to reach for his drink, his grip on my waist loosening.
I should have called Jared but he doesn’t answer when he’s on duty.
I had no idea if Destry would answer, but I had to try at this point.
He answered, surprisingly. I kept my phone on in my purse to let him hear me telling Silas no.
“Silas, just let me leave, please.” I said loud enough that I knew Destry would be able to hear. “I want to leave…get your fucking hands off of me!”
“Nah, you should stay. I’ll show you a good time. Show you what you’ve been missing all this time.”
I was screwed because despite calling Destry, how the hell was he going to know where I was?
The answer? He wouldn’t.
For five minutes I tried to leave but Silas wouldn’t let me. There was commotion out on the dance floor, and then around the room.
He came for me. Is he Superman because how the hell did he find me? I wasn’t too concerned with that because that’s when I knew he followed me tonight. He had to have. There was no other answer for it. Destry’s eyes found mine, and there was some uncertainty from both of us. I was nervous. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to me.
Silas didn’t see him at first and pulled me against his chest, his eyes so dark you couldn’t see the blue in them anymore. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Why are you acting like a bitch now? Every girl wants to fuck a rock star.”
I pushed back trying to get away from him, knowing Destry was seeing this. “Because I want to leave.”
When he faced me, his shoulders squared, jaw rigid, he asked me, though his question was delivered to Silas, “What the fuck is going on?”
“What does it look like is going on?” Silas’ bloodshot eyes drifted toward Destry, his arm wrapping around my shoulder and tightened. “We’re busy. Leave.”
“I see that.” Destry’s eyes shifted from mine to Silas, cold and indifferent. “But I think the lady wants to leave.”
“Says who?” Silas snorted.
“Her.” Destry pointed at me. “She called me.”
“Bullshit.” Silas gave him a look that was more of a warning. I’m sure it worked for most, the ones intimidated by his rock star image. But it would never work for Destry. “She’s been with me the entire time.”
Destry pointed and raised an eyebrow at me. “Tell him.”
I looked at Silas, tears streaming down my face. I was so stupid. “I called him. I want to leave.”
“I’m not finished here.” Silas reached for my hand grasping my wrist. “You can’t leave.”
“Excuse me?” Destry asked, raising an eyebrow at Silas.
“You heard me, champ.” Destry laughed shaking his head. “Get lost.”
That was clearly the wrong thing to say to Destry. Even I knew that. He didn’t like being referred to as champ and definitely not by Silas.
“I don’t think I heard you, rock star. Say it again.” Destry shoved Silas, who stood chest to chest with him and reached for my hand.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Silas looked to his boys, laughing. “You trying to make a move on my girl?”
My girl? Oh he’s certainly high. And delusional.
“She ain’t your girl, man. You lost that chance.”
Silas’ eyes skipped to Destry. His eyes, so dark and lazy, closed and then he gave a nod to his body guards. That’s when I got nervous. Crap. Destry can’t defend himself against them. They were huge. Nearly twice the size of him but did they have the skill Destry had?
“Come on, motherfucker!” Destry said, shoving the darker skinned one. “Hit me. Go ahead!”
The body guard looked to Silas. “Do you know who he is?”
Silas shrugged carelessly raising his drink to his lips. “Do you know who I am? I don’t give a shit who he is.”
Unfortunately for Silas, his bodyguards weren’t as careless and backed up. They knew exactly who Destry was. “He’s a world heavyweight boxing champion.” The taller one said, trying to warn Silas. “I wouldn’t—”
“Who fuckin’ cares?” Silas shoved Destry’s shoulder interrupting them. “Come on man, just leave. We’re busy.” His hand raised then, arching an eyebrow at Destry as he pushed his sweaty hair from his face. “Get the fucking hint and leave.”
Destry laughed shaking his head as if a toddler had shoved him and stepped forward grabbing Silas by the shirt with both hands, his knuckles turning white. I was pushed back against the wall now, to my left was the exit but Destry and Silas were now blocking it. “You better kill me because I have every intention of killing you.”
I hope he didn’t mean that but something tells me he does.
He let go—giving him the opportunity—and Silas pulled his fist back and swung at Destry, which was the biggest mistake he’d ever made. Everything happened quickly, the glasses on the table crashing to the ground. I yelped as they collided, Destry’s punches quick and absolutely no match for Silas. None. He was on the ground after two hits. I could see blood flowing from Silas’ face, his body guards trying to get Destry off him. I was a little worried about Silas, only because I understood the power behind Destry’s hits. He could kill someone if they weren’t prepared. Fortunately for Silas, he was high.
Nothing was said, only punches delivered with such force you knew they were inflicting damage. When they finally did pull him off, Destry was bleeding, Silas having gotten in a punch or two but he looked at me with regretful eyes, on edge and raging. Commotion all around us took place and it was clear we needed to leave before the cops arrived. The bodyguards were pushing Destry away, ready to throw their own punches if necessary but they seemed to hold back. You’d think they would have put their own fear aside seeing how they were hired to protect Silas.
