Trust

by A M Raulerson

  “While I’m at the stable maybe you should look around. There’s a lot to do here. Theater room, pool table, computers, whatever you want to do. I can show you how to set up the movies if you want. David has a huge collection,” Simon laughs softly. “If you just want to wander around, that’s fine too. Molly will follow you around all day, I hope you're okay with that. You gave her bacon and were so gentle with her that she’s your new best friend”

  Molly is still sitting at Justin’s feet, a look of love and adoration on her face. I know that’ll put stress on Justin, he’s confused and scared. He has to find his way so saying nothing more, I clean the kitchen while Justin finishes his meal. Taking his plate when he finishes I watch his face and decide to push him a little more.

  “It’s up to you what you do. You're free to go anywhere you want. Find your feet. I’m going down to the stables now, so it’ll just be you and Molly. If you need me there's an intercom that goes directly to the stables. Until you get your phone you can use that anytime. Okay? Still making eye contact I wait until Justin nods slowly. Turning around and walking out the door, I head to the stables, knowing there would be a problem before too long. Justin is brimming with hurt, pain and anger. It won’t be long before he breaks down again.

  ************* Justin Shaking, I sit on the stool. “Little man” he’d called me. It’s like he knew about that part of me, like he knows what I’m hiding. The shield is wavering in my mind. So much is pushing against it from in there, like it’s fighting now to come out. I can’t let that happen. I have to reinforce that wall before it collapses completely.

  I have to move. If I move it won’t collapse. But where to go. Do they mean it when they say to go anywhere? Walking through the kitchen to the entry way, I just look, walking through rooms that don’t seem to have a purpose, just nice furniture and amazing art.

  I’ve never had a chance to look at art. I’ve heard about it when I’d been adopted. My “Mother” had taken me to an art museum once. I was young, but too scared to actually look. I do now as I walk through a library filled to the top of the walls with books. There are beautiful watercolors of different types of plants on one wall, with floor to ceiling windows along another, the room is enormous. How can anybody ever read all these books? I run my fingers gently along the spines.

  I can read, of course. One of the things my “parents” tried to do for me was to educate me. I learned the basics. Enough to get through school, but most of the things they taught in school were ridiculous. You don’t need them in real life. I learned those lessons early, learned to live in the real world. Not the one that normal people live in. No, real life. Basic math and reading are necessities, but what the hell good is algebra going to do me?

  Not ready to actually look at titles, my head just not in a place where I can concentrate on anything, I keep walking, looking from room to room, never settling in one place for long, finding the theater and the play room with its pool table and table tennis set. Not knowing what else to do, I keep walking. I won’t admit it, but I’m searching for something. What, I don’t know, but it keeps me walking.

  Walking through the enormous house I find a sunken room. Walking down the small steps, I freeze. The whole room is one giant glass dome, filled with plants of all kinds. Trees, bushes, and flowers everywhere. Walking slowly into the room I see a long chaise lounge in the very far corner. Surrounded by plants, it seems like a secret garden, a place to hide in the open. I can see out on one side but feel like I’m surrounded by earth and peace.

  I sit down on the chaise and Molly walks up to my side. The chaise is low enough that the giant dog can place her head in my lap. Closing my eyes, I feel the tears flow down my cheeks. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not hurt. There’s nothing there to cause the tears, I just cry. Laying down I just let the tears fall. No one can see me here. No one is near me. I just lay here, with Molly’s head in my lap, stroking her head and crying.

  I feel peace, if only for a moment.

  CHAPTER 7 DAVID

  I was right and I was wrong. When I get to the office at the restaurant it’s worse than I thought. Bills and receipts are everywhere. When Charlie and I opened the restaurant, Charlie’s lack of management skills infuriated quite a few suppliers. The two of us went through quite a few before finding companies willing to work with our strange arrangement. They know I’m deployed for six months out of the year and are willing to supply the food and laundry service until I return. I’ll pay them back quickly when I return home and everyone’s happy. But organizing everything, doing the basic accounting, is a pain. It’s so much worse with Charlie's organizing, or lack thereof.

  Leaving the office I sit at the counter, starving and more than a bit pissed off. “Charlie!” Using my Dom voice in public sends a visible shiver through Charlie. Grinning wickedly at me his face changes quickly when I give him the stare.

  “You’ll pay for this, One.” There’re a few customers, but most of them are far enough away they don’t hear me. Eyes immediately down cast, One visibly shakes, the look of bliss returning to his face as he’s thinking about last night.

  “Oh no, One. This will not be fun for you. This is punishment!” “I’m sorry, Master.” The whimper is barely loud enough to hear, but the look in One’s eyes is enough to know that even though it’ll be punishment, One will still enjoy it.

  Feeling my phone vibrate I break off the connection with Charlie, grinning at me, he heads back to the kitchen. “He’s in the Conservatory.” Trust Simon to know where Justin is. I open the security feed Simon sent me. Yep, there Justin is, sitting in the little alcove. He looks so peaceful, but I can see the tears tracking down his cheeks.

  “Is he okay?” Letting Simon know I’m still concerned. “It won’t be long now. His walls are crumbling, and he’ll be mad as hell before too long. It might be smart to get what you need and get home.”

  “On it.” I still need to get Justin a phone, but other than that I don’t have anything pressing and Getting the phone won’t take long.

  “Charlie, I’m out. Gotta get home ASAP.” Giving Charlie a look, I know he’ll understand. He’ll be needed at home early tonight. We have good people working here, and they’re more than capable of taking over and closing tonight. I know Charlie won’t be able to break away right now, but he’ll hurry.

  Leaving the diner, I think about how Justin will feel when I tell him about the security system. The house is set up for security surveillance. When someone walks into a room it triggers the motion sensor, turning on the cameras. I hate using them this way. It feels creepy and stalkerish, but I need to make sure he’s alright. I’ll eventually tell him. He needs to know I won’t use them against him, that it’s just for his protection.

  I stop to pick up a phone I think will be easy for Justin to use, he’ll only be texting for now. He’s not loud enough to make calls, it’s a start. An important one. This isn’t just a phone, this is a connection to us. He’ll know we’re a text away at all times. Pulling into the driveway I see Simon's waiting for me. “It’s coming. He was so peaceful for a while, but the demons in that boy won’t leave him alone for long. He’s pacing in the kitchen.” Showing me the security feed on his phone I see Justin wringing his hands and panting. Simon gives me a look.

  “This won’t be easy, but it has to happen. You have to give him a chance to talk. When he starts getting frantic, it's up to you how to deal with it. I’ll be there, but it’s you he needs to turn to. He already has, he just doesn’t know it yet.”

  Walking to the back door I have to give myself a pep talk. This is important. I can’t mess this up. I open the mudroom door and walk calmly into the kitchen. Master David is sitting in the wings, ready to take control of the situation if needed. Justin’s emotions will dictate how this goes and I’m concerned it’ll be too soon to bring out the Dom in me. Watching Justin fight his emotions is killing me. I want to grab him. Tell him everything will be okay, and fix it now.

  “Justin.”
I state firmly, getting his attention. I walk closer to him.

  The look on Justin's face when he turns is filled with pain and anger...hate.

  “No.” Justin whispers at me, hugging his stomach as if to hold the emotions back. “No.” Louder now. “NO...NO...NO...NO!” He’s screaming now. Pain and fear forcing its way out. He’s bending over to try and stop the pain, tears streaming down his face.

  Walking to him, I grab him. Working on pure adrenaline I tell him to scream. “Get it out Justin, scream all you want baby,” Whispering in his ear, I hold him firmly, restraining him from hurting himself, but wanting him to know he’s safe, no matter what he says.

  “You can’t be real . No one cares. All you want is to hurt me. You lie. Just like everyone else. No I won't do it. You can't hurt me if I don’t let you. I won’t let you. You’ll fuck me then sell me to some other Sick Fuck. No. NO!”

  Holding Justin and hearing the fear and hurt, the wailing agony in him, I feel every scream, every tremor, hear every horrible thing falling out of his mouth. I feel him fighting physically to hold back the pain, striking me to keep it at bay. I’ll have more than a few bruises in the morning, but if this is what he needs I don’t care.

  “You can Fuck me but you can’t Hurt me. Do you hear me you sick Fuck? I won’t let you. I can’t. I can’t. No!” Slowly the screaming becomes cries, pleading, begging and sobbing in fear and pain. Justin isn’t fighting anymore, the anger is gone, leaving behind only the painful wracking sobs. Justin is whimpering and shaking so hard I’m even more afraid he’ll hurt himself.

  Roughly turning Justin in my arms, I grab the back of his neck with my right hand. It worked before, and I’m done letting him think these awful things. Looking directly into Justin’s eyes, I grab his jaw. Simon comes up behind Justin, knowing he needs to be held tight, giving him the support he needs. The terror in Justin’s eyes cut right to my heart.

  “No! You look in my eyes,” My Dom voice cutting through the whimpers still coming from Justin. “We will not hurt you. We will not rape you. And we will Absolutely. Not. Sell. You! Do You Hear Me Justin!” The look in his eyes tells me he doesn’t understand, he shakes his head and trembles, fighting our hold.

  Suddenly, I feel Charlie come up beside us. leaning his head in the crook of Justin's neck, he wraps his arms around Justin firmly.

  “You’re safe. No one will ever hurt you again.” Charlie murmurs softly to Justin.

  “Noooo!” Justin wails. Knowing he needs more, I reach deep. My Dom voice harsh, I squeeze harder on his jaw and neck. “Two. You will listen to your Dom. You will listen to your Master. You are safe Two.” Looking deep in Justin’s eyes, I tell him the truth.

  “You are Two. I am your Master. We will not harm you. You are Safe. Master Loves his Two.” Repeating myself over and over. Strong but quiet now, the fear is still there, but Justin seems to be listening finally.

  “Sir Loves Two!” Charlie barks at Justin. I turn his chin towards Charlie so he can look in his eyes. “Sir Loves Two!” Slowly rotating Justin around without letting go of him, I turn Justin toward Simon. Simon stares deeply into Justin's eyes, not allowing Justin to turn his eyes from him.

  “Top Loves Two!” The deep rumbling of Simon’s voice seems to finally allow our words sink in. The words we’re saying finally catch up with him, causing him to let go and Justin just drops, no longer able hold himself up. If we hadn’t been holding him he’d have fallen to the floor, he’s sobbing so hard his whole body is jerking and spasming in our arms. Holding tight, we know he has to cry it out. The release from this will be longer lasting, but he needs to fight his fears now, not us. We’ve gotten through to him at least.

  Catching Simon’s eyes, I jerk my head toward the stairs. Slowly loosening his arms, Simon lets go. Pulling him hard into my chest, I pick him up, pulling his thighs around my waist and carrying him down the hall. Justin buries his face in my neck.

  “It’s okay baby. We have you.” I murmur, rubbing his back. Simon opens the door to Justin’s room and walks in before climbing onto the middle of the bed. I try to put Justin down, but he cries out and clings to me.

  “Okay, baby, I won’t let you go.” I crawl onto the bed awkwardly. Laying down with Justin sprawled across my chest. Charlie and Simon lay on both sides of me, laying against Justin so he’ll know they’re there also, they rub his back and kiss his shoulders and neck.

  Ju stin has completely let go, he’s limp and a total dead weight across my chest. Trembles still wrack his body, but the awful begging and crying is gone. Soft, gentle keening is the only sound Justin is making, but I’ll take that over the painful wailing any day.

  We lay there for another half hour before Justin finally falls asleep. Rubbing his back, I think about the things Justin said. I know it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I know there’s a lot he didn’t say. But what he did say was devastating. I need to hack into the police records and see if there’s any more information. Department of Children and Families just slapped a sticker on him and adopted him out. I need to do a little more digging to find out if there’s any more information on the system.

  “David, you can’t leave him right now. When he wakes up you have to be here.” Simon whispers quietly, not wanting to disturb Justin. “I know. Can you bring me a laptop? I have some things I need to figure out.” I give Simon a look so he’ll know what I’m talking about.

  “Sure. I’m going to make dinner. He’ll be hungry when he wakes up.” Simon looks at Charlie and chuckles, he’s fallen asleep just like Justin. Smiling at Simon, I shuffle around, moving Justin closer to Charlie without letting him go. Even in sleep, Justin is clinging to me. Moving around enough to sit up a bit, I laugh at the goofy smile on Simon’s face.

  Watching as Simon softly brushes the hair out of Justin’s face, I see the pain and anger on his. “I knew it was bad, but God… That was awful! How could someone do that to a child? There's no telling how old he was when it started, or how long it lasted. I don’t understand how a person can do that to such a sweet boy.” Furious, but never raising his voice above a whisper, I watch the emotions flood across Simon’s face.

  “He’s ours now. We’ll protect him, even from himself. Thank you, Simon.” I murmur, softly. Simon scoffs, slightly insulted, “No need to thank me, he’s family, and there's nothing we don’t do for family.” Simon snorts as he gets up. Looking one more time at the pile of bodies on the bed and chuckling again.

  “I’ll bring you that laptop. Maybe your super sleuth powers can get more information.” Simon says as he walks out the door. He’s right. I’ll be putting my super sleuth powers to good work, just as soon as I can get on that laptop.

  ************* Simon After dropping the laptop off with David, I start for the kitchen. Pulling out the ingredients for meatloaf, I figure comfort food is just what’s needed. The calories alone, with mashed potatoes and all the fixings, will help calm and comfort all of them. And my God, don’t they all need a bit of comfort after that.

  The horrifying episode hadn’t lasted that long. But it wasn’t how long it took that was so devastating. No, it had been the words telling us what that poor boy had been through that felt so heavy. The pain in him is worse than even I can imagine.

  I expected to learn some terrible things about Justin’s background, but nothing could truly prepare me for what Justin said. Being sold and used in that fashion had to have broken this child down at some point. But there is so much more to Justin. He doesn’t realize just how strong he really is. Justin has a long road ahead of him. But the fact that he’s fighting back is proof enough for me to know he’ll make it. The fact that he collapsed at the end, gave into the need for love and reassurance, if nothing else, is promising.

  Stopping to look around, I realize Molly isn’t there. Anytime I’m in the kitchen she’s usually right by my side. Smiling softly, I walk toward the mudroom, knowing just where she’ll be. Slowly pulling open the door to the closet, sure enough there’s Molly. Her body is
tensing. I can see her visibly pushing. I know it won’t be long before we have a pile of squirmy little puppies. Crouching down, I slowly reach out to her. I make comforting noises and gently rub Molly’s neck.

  “Oh, what a good girl you are, little Mommy.” Whimpering softly, Molly pushes her large head into my hand. Giant glossy eyes look lovingly up at me.

  “I’ll be right back baby girl.” I rub her head for just another moment. Standing up, I reach for my phone, texting David to tell him the news, then punch in the number for the Vet.

  “Dr. Blake’s office.” A bright, chirpy voice answers. “This is Simon Laffite. I’m just calling to let him know that Molly has gone into labor. We’ll be watching her, but if there's any problem we’ll bring her in.”

  “Oh, how exciting! I can’t wait to see her puppies. She’s so sweet! Let us know if there's anything we can do to help!” The receptionist squeals. I’m not surprised the girl remembers Molly. She’s so sweet that she can melt a heart in a minute.

  “I sure will. Thank you.” I disconnect the call. Returning to the kitchen I get dinner going, thinking again about Justin. He’s in a terrible place right now and will need constant reassurance and love. Knowing just a small piece of what he’s gone through makes me think. We’ll be able to do so much for Justin, but some of this is just more than we’ll be able to handle. He needs counseling. He’s showing us trust, but sometimes there’s just so much that needs to get out, he might not feel comfortable telling us everything. Maybe a stranger, one that won’t judge him or jump in and try to fix it, someone he can tell everything to and get acceptance and reassurance from.

  I think back to Aaron, the man David and I saw after the accident that killed his parents and had almost killed me. My scars may have mostly been on the outside, but David’s had all been on the inside. I saw David’s demons pushing hard when he just tried to make it day by day. I suggested Aaron because he had helped me.