“I met a boy. He’s lovely.”
“Oh, did ya! What’s his name?” Mary said as though she was happy for me.
“Liam Carroll,” I told the two of them.
“Oh,” Mary and Biddy said solemnly at the same time.
“I’m sure Jack has an earful to say about you seeing Liam Carroll,” Mary said.
“He doesn’t approve but I’m not letting that stop me,” I said, hoping they wouldn’t disapprove of me going against Jack’s will.
“Good girl,” Biddy said. “Those are nice looking fellows, the Carrolls.”
“I think so too,” I agreed. “He’s very nice and I’m feeling happy,” I said, picturing Liam’s face in my mind. “I can’t tell Jack though. He’s still stuck on me meeting that lad, Declan.”
“Don’t mind Jack,” Biddy said. “The man’s been off his knob since he was born,” she said laughing. Mary and I laughed along with her.
“Jack is so nice to me and I love living with him. I almost feel like I owe him something. Aw! well! It’ll work out eventually,” I said, feeling incredibly hopeful.
Paul eventually came in and I persuaded him to give me a lift home around ten-thirty.
I went to say goodnight to Jack and Una when I arrived home. Una was already up in bed and Jack was, of course, in his usual spot in the sitting room. I sat down on the couch next to him without saying anything. He turned to me and began to tell me a story about my father as a boy.
“When we were kids we would have to herd up the cattle every morning before we had to head off to school,” he began. It was extremely random, but at least he was starting a conversation with me that didn’t involve Declan in it.
“Really?” I replied, acting interested.
“Your father used to hate doing it to. He thought it was such an annoyance. He put up such a fight,” he said chuckling to himself, his round stomach popping up and down. I smiled because he looked cute as he remembered my father as a child. It felt nice to be talking to him.
“Declan came by to see you tonight,” he said. “I reminded him you were working.”
“Oh, okay, thanks,” I responded. I suddenly wasn’t in the mood to sit and talk to Jack after he had reminded me of my situation with Declan. “Goodnight,” I said, walking out of the room and upstairs to bed.
▪ ▪ ▪ ▪
On Thursday at four o’clock, I stood outside the shop before heading into work, watching Liam walk back toward the square. I hoped Eugene was in his office because I needed to ask permission to be off work on Friday.
“Hey, is Eugene in the office?” I asked the girl standing behind the counter.
“I don’t know. I’ve only just begun my shift,” she replied as she began restacking bars of chocolate into the enormous selection placed at the front of the shop. I tapped lightly on the office door.
“Come in,” Eugene said. I entered the office to see him hunched over his desk counting money, carefully placing each bill in its proper pile. I saw the steam rising from the fresh cup of tea set by his side. He didn’t even look up to see who had come in.
“Eugene, its Sarah.”
“Well Sarah? How are you? Are you handling work all right?” he asked, sounding concerned and taking his attention away from the money. “I noticed you doing an okay job in there the other night.”
“Oh. It’s great. I really enjoy it.”
“So will you be working for the rest of your stay here?” he asked, as if it was assumed that I would be.
“Really? That would be excellent.”
“But…” he said already knowing that there was one coming.
“I have to ask you a favor...” I began.
“I don’t do favors. Just business,” he told me, going back to his money.
“I was wondering if it would be all right if I took this Friday night off,” I asked, nervous for his response. Even to me it seemed like such a preposterous proposal, since I had just been hired.
“That’s fine,” he replied simply. “Now get in there and get to work,” he demanded. I scurried out of the office lest he change his mind, and decided I would ask him about the night I needed off to go to Dublin another time.
Unlike most days, I wished Friday had gone by extremely slow. I dreaded my date with Declan, but since I didn’t have to work, I had time to see Liam after school. We agreed to meet at the place by the river where we’d been two days before. When I arrived Liam was already waiting for me. I lay down next to where he was sitting and rested my head in his lap. He lightly brushed the hair off my face and smiled down at me.
“It’s good to see you,” he said.
“Same to you,” I replied.
“Why didn’t you have to work tonight?” he asked out of curiosity. I couldn’t really tell him why I wasn’t working, but I hesitated lying to him. I had no other choice.
“He just gave me the night off. I guess he sensed I needed a little break,” I said, already feeling completely guilty.
“Well I wish I could see you tonight, but I’ve got a Rugby match.” I was thankful he didn’t ask to see me because I would have to quickly think up another lie. “Anything new and exciting in your life?”
“Yes, actually. I completely forgot to tell you this on Tuesday. My class is taking a camping trip to the Devil’s Bit in a month. Isn’t that great? We’ve been learning about Celtic Mythology and all that.”
“Oh, really? That’s interesting. Maybe I’ll just have to sneak up there and meet you in the middle of the night,” he suggested mysteriously. “It’s actually quite near my house. I’ve climbed to the top loads of times. So, what are you planning on doing at the Devil’s Bit?”
“We’re going to hike, tell stories, and possibly re-live myths of the enchanted and magical place as my teacher referred to it.”
“Sounds good,” he laughed. For a while we sat silently, listening to the sound of the water slowly drift by and the occasional wind that rustled the leaves and sent chills through my body. We both lost track of time and suddenly had to hurry in separate directions. Liam had to go and meet his team to prepare for his match, and I had to get home to meet Declan. Sadly, we wouldn’t be able to see each other again until Monday.
“Good luck in your match,” I said as he hugged me goodbye.
“I’ll miss you this weekend,” he replied kissing me on the cheek and rushing off. I watched him jog away and then quickly headed home myself.
I pulled my hair out of the ponytail it had been in for the last hour, ran a brush through it, and dabbed a bit of lip-gloss on my lips. I wore a pair of loose and comfortable jeans and a plain white long sleeved shirt so I wouldn’t be cold in the movie theater. I grabbed ten euro from the top drawer of the night stand next to my bed, told Jack I was leaving and walked toward Declan’s house. I was a few minutes early but I didn’t want him to formally pick me up from my house. I lifted my fist to knock on the door and it opened. Declan appeared in the doorway in front of me. He didn’t grace me with his usual smile or gentlemenly manners.
“Let’s go,” he said, shutting the door behind him and walking past me. I was confused, but followed him out of the gate and down the road. He was walking extremely fast and I was almost running to keep up with him.
“Wait up. What’s the rush?” I practically shouted at him. He stopped short and waited for me to come into view next to him before he started walking again. I grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. “What is wrong with you?” He shook his head and stared at me for a minute before answering.
“Sorry. I just had something on my mind. That’s all. I’m fine now,” he assured me before turning to continue walking. Thankfully, he slowed his pace down considerably and acted as if I was actually there with him.
“How did your week at school go?” I asked, trying to make conversation.
“It was all right, I suppose,” he replied. “How was yours?”
“Great!” I said enthusiastically. “My class and I are going on a camping trip to the
Devil’s Bit for a night in May.”
“For what?” he asked, essentially seeming interested.
“Hike, tell stories, enjoy the stars. I’m not sure really,” I replied. I wasn’t in the mood to explain the whole Celtic Mythology story. By then we had reached the theater. I was starving because I had missed dinner. He transformed back into gentlemen mode, paying for my ticket, popcorn, diet coke, and bar of chocolate, and I didn’t complain. I liked this Declan better, the real Declan, and the one I had become such good friends with when I first arrived. We sat silently as the theater began to fill up and we waited for Man on Fire to begin. It was gruesome but entertaining, and by the end we both agreed it was good. We stood up from our seats, and I brushed popcorn crumbs off my pants. He lightly touched my hand. I looked up and he leaned in to kiss me. Since he had caught me off guard, he succeeded and landed his lips right on top of mine. He held my cheeks roughly, hoping to persuade me to return the kiss. As I pushed him off me, I noticed two girls who had stood up from their seats just across the aisle from us. I looked closer through the dimness of the theater to see Kate and Amy staring right at Declan and I. Their jaws were practically touching the horrible maroon carpeting on the theater floor. The look on Kate’s face let me know that she was hurt and disillusioned. The two of them ran swiftly out of the theater and I noticed tears rushing down Kate’s face. I pushed Declan out of the way and chased after them. I caught Kate’s shoulder outside the cinema. “It’s not what you think!” I told her, hoping she would let me explain.
“Yea, I’m sure,” she replied sarcastically while still crying hysterically. Now people who were leaving the theater were staring at us.
“I don’t know what to say, Kate. If you’d please just let me explain,” I pleaded.
“Don’t say anything, Sarah. You just aren’t the friend I thought I’d made,” she said, scolding me right where it hurt. Amy rushed over and pulled her away from me, the two of them disappearing down the street. I stood there desperate and sad, not knowing what to do next. I needed to give her time to cool off and hoped she would eventually let me explain. Before I knew it, she would have all the girls hating me and the rest of the school year would be miserable. I turned around to see Declan standing there waiting for the “episode” to be over so we could continue our date. Little did he know he had caused this all to happen. In my mind I pictured myself jumping on top of him and beating him to a pulp. I glanced back at him and ran away from the cinema toward home. I hoped he would get the hint and not run after me. Fortunately he did.
I felt so horrible that Kate had seen us and at the worst moment. Why did he have to keep trying to make things work between us? I turned to the only person who would understand. I needed to vent my feelings to someone, something, or anything. I headed straight to the computer.
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Sophie,
It never ends. I am in a lover’s quarrel.
Tonight I had a date with Declan. We went to the movies. Everything was comfortable and I wasn’t feeling awkward and he had to go and ruin everything. At the end of the movie he kissed me, and the worst part is, my friend Kate, who likes him, was also at the movies and saw it happen. I didn’t even know she was there until I saw her standing, staring at me in shock as though I had just betrayed her. Everything is so mixed up. She likes Declan. Declan likes me. I like Liam. Oh Liam! Even his name makes everything better. (I’m smiling right now, by the way.) Hee! hee! Anyways I just feel horrible because Kate had the completely wrong impression and I don’t know what to do. If only you were here. I know you would make everything better. Miss you bunches (especially right now).
Love, your confused friend, Sarah
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I had a head full of bewildering and stressful thoughts that kept me from falling asleep. I wished there was something or someone who could make everything right. I wished some greater force would swoop through and make everything better. I greatly feared the consequences of Kate’s anger and everyone else’s reaction at school Monday. I eventually fell asleep and had great dreams about happier and much less baffling times.
The next morning I was in a desperate need to clear my head. I decided to visit Biddy because she always cheered me up and found solutions to my problems. The yard was filled with many people I didn’t recognize, mostly little girls, who were tending to the horses. Mary was in the arena with Eimear and Nora directing seven children who were trotting atop seven horses in a circle.
Biddy sat in a tall stool chair in front of the stove, cooking the dinner and watching out the window into the yard.
“Well, Sarah? Are you staying for dinner? Go down to the shop and get yourself a cut of steak for me to cook for you,” she insisted. Before I could ask for her guidance I had to eat. If I refused dinner she would find a way to force me to eat. It was a great trait about her, because I was in fact hungry. When I came back up she hadn’t moved from her seat and sat watching the potatoes boil and the steak grill.
“What should I do?” I asked her after explaining my dilemma.
“Ah, I think everything will work out somehow. You just wait and see. ‘The course of love never did run smooth’,” she said giving me a wink and returning her focus back toward the steak.
“What do you mean? That doesn’t make sense to me,” I said, just as puzzled as when we had begun the conversation.
“Don’t worry about it dear. It’ll be fine,” she said as if she was absolutely positive. She was sure of her conclusions, however, I was not so sure. How were things supposed to just work out? Her words had confused me even more, and filled me with doubt.
Chapter 13
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
-Sir Walter Scott
“Please. Just let me explain. You don’t understand. It wasn’t how it looked,” I said to Kate as she, Kiara, and Deirdre ignored me the entire way to school on Monday morning. I had left the house extra early so I wouldn’t miss them getting off their bus outside the bank, but they were in no mood to speak to me. However, I was not giving up. Kate would have to talk to me sometime. Apparently the two-day cool off on Saturday and Sunday didn’t help and she was still extremely heated.
I went to my desk, removed my coat and sat down. I didn’t say a word to anyone. I hated it when people were mad or upset, especially with me. I had to find a way to make her understand that I didn’t do anything wrong and I didn’t intentionally hurt her. I would sit quietly and patiently in my seat for the first three classes of the day and force her to talk to me during break. If she refused to talk to me during break, I would try again at a lunch, and then continue trying until she at least heard me out. I glanced her way every couple minutes and saw her sulking over her desk. If by chance we made eye contact I would mouth, “I’m sorry” but she just stared at me sourly and then after a split second would diverted her eyes.
When the bell rang releasing the students for break, I followed her out of the room and stood behind her in line for the shop. I had lost my appetite because of the guilt. She bought a bottle of water and then turned to head back to the classroom. She was surprised to see me blocking her way out of the cafeteria. As I opened my mouth to speak she pushed right by me, nudging my shoulder, forcing me out of her pathway. I shouted her name as I jogged after her down the hallway. Her skills at the silent treatment were impressive, and there was nothing I could do to make her talk to me.
During lunch I walked into the gym, where table were set up and girls sat in groups eating their lunches. In the corner of the gym, Kate, Kiara, Deirdre, Amy, Sinead, Mairead, and Colleen were talking and eating their lunches. The table went dead silent when they noticed me coming. They pretended to have great concentration on the food in front of them.
“Look I know you’re all incredibly
mad at me, but what harm will it do to just hear me out,” I said hoping that explaining myself to the entire group would prove to be helpful. If the rest of them would listen, Kate was bound to follow along.
“No matter what you say or do, you still lied. I just can’t believe you did this to Kate,” Kiara said putting a comforting hand on Kate’s back.
“Okay. I don’t think you know how truly sorry I am. I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I didn’t want to hurt you.
“What do you think, I couldn’t handle it or something? I’m not some emotionally unstable freak,” she said, raising her voice and catching the attention of other girls at surrounding tables.
“I’m going to be one hundred percent straightforward with you right now. No lies. Just the truth, and I want you all to hear it,” I began. “Declan likes me and I can’t help that, so when you told me you liked him I was too afraid to tell you the truth. Unfortunately, my Uncle Jack likes Declan so much he makes me go out with him, even though I don’t like Declan in that way. Plus he hates Liam’s father with a fiery passion and refuses to let me see him. Because Declan still likes me, he tried to kiss me and you just happened to see that. What you didn’t see, because you ran away, was that I pushed him off of me. Declan and I are friends and that’s all. I want nothing more out of our relationship. I am so sorry for lying because I never would intentionally hurt you. Your friendship means so much to me, and I hope you can forgive me.” I noticed, when I was done, it had all come out in a big rush. I stood there silently for a few minutes hoping someone would respond. They sat processing what I had said. “Now you’ve heard my side of the story and if you’re still mad, I understand.” I walked away.
Celtic Night Page 11
