by Lyra Parish
He inserted his finger into the woman beside us. She moaned, and he groaned deep as he became more animalistic with his touch. His dick was hard, and the woman slipped on top of him and rode him hard. I watched them.
None of us cared. We were here for one thing, and one thing alone, to fuck and forget. No ties, no relationships, no worries or awkward conversations afterward.
I swung my head back and fully took it all in as his tongue swirled on my nipple.
I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him. His tongue dipped inside my mouth, and he grabbed my breasts with a hard hand as the woman bounced on his dick.
“I’m so fucking close,” the woman said.
I looked over at her. She flung her head back, and I knew she was coming. I closed my eyes and leaned on the tub, and another couple stepped inside. More pinches and sucks on my nipple, and the man dipped his hands down below. His touch was experienced, and he knew exactly how to please me. When I looked over at the new couple, I realized it was Jake. He didn’t take his eyes off of me as the woman climbed on top of him. He slammed his dick inside of the skinny girl. She was hot and blond. I was happy for him, but he didn’t seem to have eyes for her.
I ran my fingers up the abs of the man I was losing myself with. Harder and deeper, he continued to play with my clit. I leaned over and nibbled on his ear as we continued. I wanted him to break me, but I didn’t think he could. I felt unbreakable. Water splashed out of the hot tub onto the deck from all the movement. My breaths were deep, and I pulled his hair hard as I came. I forced him to look into my eyes, and he did. Then he bit my shoulder and sent spikes of pain through my body as he came inside of the woman who rode him. I wasn’t sure if I used him or he used me, but in the world of swingers, I don’t think that really existed. His female partner came again and screamed out obscenities.
“Oh, fuck. Shit. I’m fucking coming, dammit. Oh, hell.” She shook with pleasure. His finger felt me from the inside out. I came so hard, so violently, but it had been so long, and after Alex ruined me, I didn’t think I would see an orgasm again.
“I’m Sebastion. It was nice to meet you.”
“Katie,” I lied again. Maybe I would eventually turn into her.
“Well, Katie. I will see you around, hopefully.” He kissed my neck and used the right amount of teeth to send little spikes of pain and pleasure racing through my body. He rubbed his hands over my breasts one last time, then stepped out of the tub and walked away with his female partner completely satisfied. Hell, I was too. If I smoked, this would be the time to light one up, but instead I stretched out in the hot tub and watched Jake mindlessly fuck the blond so he would know that I didn’t care, that I couldn’t.
Stacey should have never brought him with us, and tomorrow I planned to tell her, but at the moment, I wouldn’t take my eyes from him. The woman began to moan loudly, then he did too. Over her shoulder, Jake looked at me with a half-smile. He was fucking pissed. I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t a little perturbed, but livid. He took his anger out on that woman’s pussy, but she liked it and whimpered each time he slammed himself into her. She even begged for it to be harder. When she screamed out that she was coming, he didn’t stop until she was completely done. Her body fell on top of his, and she kissed him.
“Did you come, baby?” she asked.
It was odd hearing affection from a stranger. He shook his head, and she was disappointed because she didn’t get him off. When she stood, so did he.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” he said to her as he glanced over at me.
“I can make you come. Just give me five minutes. I like to return the favor.” She smiled. At least she tried.
“Thanks, I’m good,” he said then pulled the condom off and threw it in the trash. The girl sat in the hot tub, disappointed but satisfied at the same time. After a few minutes, she left. Jake moved toward me and sat. I turned my head to look at him, questioning his intent. The next thing I knew, Jake leaned over and kissed me. At first, I resisted, and then I couldn’t. Jake intertwined his fingers with mine, and pulled me on top of him. His dick felt like home, and I shuddered from the emotions that streamed through me. I looked down into his green eyes. He was all seriousness while he was inside of me.
“You can practically fuck a stranger, but you can’t fuck me. No emotions, Rox. No fucking emotions have to be involved. I’ll take what I can get from you.”
I leaned down and whispered over his lips. “Is sex ever sex without emotions?”
“You tell me. Did you feel something for that stranger?”
I grabbed his face, and he grabbed my ass hard and groaned. “I like it when you play rough. Now fuck me like you don’t care. Fuck me like we don’t know each other. Fuck me like we don’t have a history. No emotions. No feelings. I just have to be with you one last time to know, Rox. So I can move on and get over this stupid infatuation. It’s been three years. Fuck me to end it. Forever.”
And I did.
Together, we came. Hard. Like a million years had kept us away from one another. Maybe we were two lost lovers who would reunite, but somehow I knew it wouldn’t end well, more like a Shakespearean rendition of love. Afterward, I fell on top of his chest, and he rubbed his hands on my back, then kissed my forehead as warmth filled me.
“No condom?” I glared at him.
He shook his head.
“Luckily, I’m on the fucking pill. Geez, Jake.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but Stacey interrupted him with her high-pitched angry voice.
“What the mother fuck?” Stacey said when she saw us.
I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head toward her. I wasn’t sure if her anger was directed toward Jake, or me, but either way, she wasn’t having it. No words formed as I stared into Jake’s eyes. He and I both knew this would not work out between us. It couldn’t. I wouldn’t allow it to.
“This is the beginning of the end,” he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut.
I kissed him like it was our last time, because it should be. Then I stood. A clean towel hung on the wooden fence that hid the balcony from the outside world, and I grabbed it to dry away my sins.
“We can’t ever do this again,” I said.
He moved out of the hot tub toward me, and grabbed a towel. I was still pissed that he didn’t give me the courtesy to put on a condom.
“I know.” His lips met my bare shoulder, and we took our time, knowing. “I’m sorry. I just …”
I turned around and placed my fingers over his lips as I slipped the romper over my shoulders. “Don’t. No fucking emotions.”
He nodded his head, then walked away. Water dripped from my hair, and the romper stuck to my skin. I slid on the high heels and walked through the club with my head held high. To say I wasn’t sexually satisfied would be a lie. My body sang with confidence as men watched me walk across the dance floor toward the bar. I had what they wanted, and it made me feel fucking sexy. Control, I craved it.
Cold air swooshed around me, and I shivered. The edges of the mask were wet from all the splashing. I smiled, replaying what had happened. Stacey and Jake were nowhere to be found, so I walked to the bar and ordered water. Sexy Bartender gave me a side grin. Curiosity tugged inside of me, and I wanted to see what was behind the mask that covered every inch of his face, except for his mouth and eyes.
“Did you have a good time, pretty girl?” he asked when he set my water on the bar.
I twirled the straws, and the ice clinked around the glass.
“You have no idea,” I told him, and received a lifted eyebrow.
“Considering where we are, I think I do have an idea.”
“Touché, Mr. Bartender. Touché, indeed,” I said, then continued, “So, everyone wears a mask here?”
“Masks. I think everyone who walks in that door wears a mask, regardless of whether their faces are covered or not.”
There was truth in his statement.
He leaned over
the bar until his face was close to mine. “Don’t you agree?” he asked, and I was caught in his trance. His eyes were blue, like the color of the sky, and I could see specks of darker blue inside the irises. Someone further down the bar called their number, and he walked away to pour bourbon. I couldn’t help but watch him work. The black shirt fit snug on his body, and I could imagine the muscles underneath. His blue jeans hung on his hips, and with one tug, I was sure they would fall to the ground. Each time he lifted a bottle to pour, I caught a glimpse of that sexy V that was hidden under his clothes. A few times, he caught me ogling and gave me a side grin.
Wait. Was I flirting? It had been so long, I wasn’t sure if that was what it was or not. Recently, I’ve gone straight for the sex, then once that happened, it was over for me. The chase was the best part, after that it became boring.
Yes, I think I was flirting. That brought a smile to my face as I stared down at my empty glass.
Another drink and I would be toasted, but I ordered one anyway. Stacey came up behind me. Her hair was a mess, but she was wearing a wicked smile. I didn’t ask her what she’d just done, because, well, the sky was the limit inside Orleans. “Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I love this place. We have to come again,” she said.
I swiveled in the chair and looked up at her. “Are you ready to go?”
“Honestly, I don’t think V can handle anymore,” she said.
I pulled a hundred dollar bill from the pocket of my romper and placed it under the rocks glass. Before I left the dance floor, I looked back at the bartender. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. As I walked through the long hallway, I wondered what he was going to say, then silently laughed to myself about the whole situation.
Jake followed in behind us as we pulled our purses and phones from the locker. Outside, we waited for the valet to pull the car around. He opened the door for me, and I scooted into the back. Silence filled the space. None of us talked about what had just happened. What was there to talk about, anyway?
We pulled into Stacey’s driveway, and Jake walked her inside. I heard him say he was going to bring me home, then head home afterward. He lived a few buildings over from me, so it made sense. After the breakup, he moved a few blocks away, mainly because he worked at an accounting firm that was close. She gave him a hug, covered the brightness of the headlights, then waved goodbye and went inside. She looked like a hot mess, but I was sure I did not look any better. Sometimes I envied her. The world was served to her on her own personal silver platter, and she picked which part she wanted to devour without worry or care. Then again, I supposed if someone were to look at my life, they would say the same, but the truth was mine wasn’t as easy. I could guarantee that. I had to work really fucking hard. I stopped thinking about it. The weekends were for me to not worry about work.
I swallowed the thoughts down when I noticed Jake was staring at me. The air was thick when he entered the car. We were both covered in the shame of each other.
“Won’t you come sit up front?”
Our eyes met in the rearview mirror, and I nodded. “Look,” I told Jake when I slid into the passenger seat.
He leaned over and kissed me, but I didn’t push him away. Why was I so fucking weak? When I finally ended the kiss, his eyes were still closed. When he opened them, they were unfocused, almost full of hurt.
We drove in silence. Complete, fucking silence, and I hated it. The 610 Loop in Houston felt like the longest road as we traveled down it.
Once we arrived at my building, he parked on the street. I turned to look at him, and he gave me a smile. I returned it. I pulled my entry card from my purse, then exited the car. I heard a second door slam, and he followed me inside. I didn’t even turn around to acknowledge him. I stepped inside the elevator, and he did, too. As the doors closed, we were in attack mode with our mouths. I breathed so heavily, and I couldn’t seem to keep my hands from him. He stopped the elevator mid-floor and pulled away from me. We were three floors from the top of the building. Other executives had purchased floors in the high rise, too, but I was at the top, number thirty-two.
“Fuck, Rox. I just. I can’t be without you. I can’t fucking do it.”
I kissed him. I kissed him hard. My lips hurt from the intensity.
“You’re going to have to, Jake. We aren’t together for many reasons. The jealousy, how you smothered me … I can’t go down that path again. The sex is fucking hot. I know that. You know that. But we are not compatible. We aren’t. Don’t make this into a fairy tale, because it’s not. We will never work.”
He slammed my wrists against the elevator and nibbled on my neck. It felt so fucking good. We broke away from one another as the intercom on the elevator buzzed.
“Is everything okay in there?” a man asked.
Jake pressed the call button and responded, “Yes. Everything is fine.” He pushed in the red button, and we continued to the 32nd floor. I unlocked my door, and we basically ripped the clothes from one another. Kisses. Grabs. Licks. Sucks. The noises we made spurred from nothing but want and need.
He laid me on the bed, and we were both ready for round two.
“No emotions, Jake. This isn’t going anywhere. Just sex. Only. Okay? I don’t want to pretend, or for you to believe we are doing anything to move this forward. It will never become anything more than this.”
“Roxane Marie. Shut your dirty little mouth. I’ll take you how I can get you, okay?” He shoved his dick deep inside of me hard, and I sighed in satisfaction.
We went hard.
We went rough.
We went fast and then slow.
He was deep within me, trying to meet my end. If it weren’t for the amazing sex, Jake and I would have ended sooner. He knew how to move inside of me, and he was sexy as fuck. Each time I stared into his green eyes, I felt a slight tinge of guilt … I knew what we were doing was wrong. So did he. But our bodies wanted it more than logic. Before he came again, I scratched my nails down his back, deep. He arched his back and sighed with pleasure, and I demanded he give himself to me. Then he did.
After our bodies were worn out, we lay staring at the ceiling, practically gasping for air. My heart was racing so fast, and I could see the vein in Jake’s neck pumping at the same speed. It was intense being with him. It was like time traveled back five years before everything went downhill. Before I was lost in thought, he threw his arm over my stomach and pulled me close to him. He smelled my hair and rubbed his hand across my stomach. Fucking cuddling. This is so wrong. But, God, it had been so long.
We fell asleep.
*
In the morning, I was wrapped in a silk sheet and our legs were twisted together. A heavy arm pinned me to the bed and sheets. I lifted it and wiggled free then went to the bathroom. Streaks of mascara lined my face, and my hair was a disaster. I turned on the shower and stepped inside. After scrubbing every inch, I wrapped a thick towel around my body. Jake was leaning against the bathroom door, naked. Once I moved out of his way, he turned the water back on and stepped inside the shower. The outline of his strong body reflected through the glass door.
“Any plans today?”
I spit toothpaste into the sink. “Not sure,” I said. “Thought about going to the office. We’ve got several interviews next week, and I kind of need to look over all the resumes beforehand.”
“Weekends are your rest time, Rox. You know that.”
Suddenly, all the nagging that went on in our relationship came back to me full force. He hated that I worked so much, but I had no choice, I knew my destiny before it happened. “Did you forget what responsibility I hold?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know we can’t fall back to where we were before. It’s just hard.”
“I know.” I spit more toothpaste into the sink. This was why I didn’t want to reopen what I had sealed years ago. Sex without emotions doesn’t work when two people had been in a relationship. With strangers, it didn’t matter, because there was no care past the
sex. Unfortunately, the heart remembered old love just like the body remembered how to ride a bike. Neither forgot. I walked over to the shower and cracked open the sliding door. Water sprinkled across his chest and ran down his face.
“It won’t work, Jake. We won’t work.”
It wasn’t quite the response I expected, but he smiled. “You don’t have to keep telling me, I know. I have no expectations this time. But you have to admit … the sex was great. Neither of us has anything better going on right now. Or do you?” He grabbed the soap and washed himself. I didn’t know how to answer that question. I didn’t have anything better going on. But I would never be able to fully move on if I had Jake in my life again, even if it was just sex.
“No, but …” I whispered.
“But, what?”
“This is hard since we were friends before getting together. It’s hard because we tried to be friends after, and that didn’t work. And here we are. This is not going to be easy,” I said.
“You make the calls. No obligation,” he said, and I knew the conversation was over.
Before I left, I rinsed my mouth out and toothbrush off. The outfits that I didn’t wear were crumpled on the floor, so I picked them up and placed them in the back of my closet. My phone buzzed with a text message, and I knew who it was before I looked.
Stacey: I’ll need all the details of last night during lunch. BTW. I feel like I got hit by a train.
Me: What time? I feel great. ;)
Stacey: I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Hopefully there isn’t any fucking traffic on the loop.
Jake entered.
I looked down at my phone, then back at him. “You have to leave, right now.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because your sister will be here in thirty minutes, and I’d like to keep what happened between us, exactly as that, between us. You know?”
The towel was wrapped low on his hips, showing just enough of that sexy V to make me want to cancel with Stacey. He licked his lips. I tucked my bottom lip inside of my mouth.
