That doesn’t work for me anymore. I can’t give him up now. For the first time in years, I feel truly happy.
“Mum, is that okay?” I ask.
“Yes, I do understand where this is going.” She looks to Dad. “I don’t know about you, but I think I need to sleep on this. How long will your parents be home for, Linc?”
“For a little while today.”
“Well, I think that perhaps we’ll let you two have today, there’s a lot to discuss,” Dad replies. “Maybe we can all get together for dinner another time?”
“They’ll love that,” Linc tells him.
Dad smiles. “Would you two like to join us for a drink?”
That conversation is over then. Dad has shut it down and moved on, the way he does when I try to bring up Robbie sometimes. He seems to instinctively know when Mum is emotionally strong enough to discuss something. I do worry that he’s too protective, treating her like she’s made of glass.
“I have to get ready for work soon, so we’re going to hang out before that. Another time though.”
They both nod, and we leave them to it. They’re probably going to have a conversation between themselves now.
I take Linc’s hand and pull him out of the kitchen and up to my room.
He’s quiet until I close my door.
“Your mum isn’t totally okay with any of this, is she?” he asks in a whisper, his dark blue eyes filled to the brim with worry. He looks panicked, poised and ready to grab me in case I’m also not totally okay.
I step into his arms and run my hands up his chest and around his neck. I’ll never get used to the way my heart sprints every time we touch. “It’s new, and she’s working on it. She is one hundred percent okay with you.”
“My family is a part of me, Tilly.”
“I know. Give it time, Mr. Impatient. We’re together, right? So, the rest of it will work out.”
His arms cage me against his chest. “Ah, you’re going to use my own words against me.”
“Not against, but I am enjoying being the sure one for the first time. What’s it like to be the irrational overthinker?”
“Tilly, when it comes to you, I’ve always been an overthinker. I just hide it better than you do.”
“You’ve always been an overthinker when it comes to me?”
He grimaces like he’s let out a secret he should have been protecting.
“Linc?”
He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding powerfully. “Okay … Tilly, I didn’t fall in love with you when I came back this summer. I fell in love with you when I left four years ago.”
My mouth audibly pops open. I probably look ridiculous, like a fish coming up for food.
“You did what?” I whisper.
The corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk that makes his eyes glow. “Maybe I should have told you sooner, but there was never the right time. We’ve only just got together, and I didn’t want to scare you off.”
I want to tell him that I wouldn’t have been scared off, but that would be a lie. I was petrified of everything to do with Lincoln for a very long time, but I’m not anymore.
“Linc, you know I love you, too.” Not quite for four years, but I still mean it wholeheartedly.
“Good.”
“So … four years, huh?” I bite my lip. My heart is going wild in my chest.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Before or after …”
He holds me closer against his chest. “I didn’t realise until there was hundreds of miles between us, but I loved you before Robbie died.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“And, I mean, did you stop at all over the last four years? Like, you loved me, and then you got over it until we weren’t hundreds of miles apart?”
“I didn’t stop.” He presses his lips to the top of my head. “God, how I tried to stop. It was one thing, being apart from you when I moved away, but another to know that you hated me. I wanted to contact you. There were so many times I wanted to call, but I knew you wouldn’t want to talk, and I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m sorry, Linc. I hate that you were hurting.” I close my eyes in his embrace.
“I would take the pain of loving you from afar a thousand times over if it led to this moment. You’re worth it.”
Oh my God.
My fingers curl into his back in a bid to get as close as humanly possible. For someone who never really talks much about how he feels, Linc really has game. My stomach flutters as I swoon at his words.
But the best part is the low, breathy tone in which he speaks them.
“You should keep saying things like that,” I whisper, pulling my head back so that I can see his face.
“I would tease you, but I think we both know I plan to. If it’ll make you smile like this, I’ll tell you how much I love you every chance I get.”
“Linc, I love your words, but right now, I want your actions.”
His eyebrows shoot up like he’s a virgin being told he’s getting a blow job. “Oh, I am all about the action.”
I squeal as he picks me up and throws me onto my bed.
“Shh, your parents will hear!”
“We are not having sex with my parents in the house!”
His body covers mine. “I know, but I can kiss you. A lot.”
Yes, he can. And he does.
49
Linc
Tilly’s mum and dad are cool. There is no residual anger or resentment. They’ve welcomed me with open arms, and I’m so grateful for that. Tilly can’t stop smiling, and in turn, Dan and Emma can’t either.
I wasn’t around to see them over the last four years, but I feel something healing between them all. Tilly’s happiness is the catalyst for a lot of changes to come. She thought she was doing the best thing for her parents by staying here and staying still, but they need her to move forward.
Now, they all can. I know how much Robbie’s death ripped them to pieces, but having a second child living her life forces them to do the same. They don’t want to miss Tilly’s future.
I don’t want to miss Tilly’s future.
So, we’ve all found ourselves in this new place where we’ve gone back to the beginning after the end.
It’s kind of the perfect place to start, I guess.
I’m not here as Lincoln, the guy who was a fucking idiot one tragic night. I’m here as Lincoln, Tilly’s boyfriend. I’ll do everything I can to make sure that’s the only person I am to them from here on out. Well, until I become Tilly’s fiancé, then husband.
We went to her house for breakfast with her parents and then came back to mine to wait for my parents. They’re due here any minute now, and Tilly can’t sit still. She is pacing the living room, doing circuits around the furniture, occasionally venturing into the kitchen.
I just hope things can go as well with my family as it has been going with hers. I suppose that depends on their ability to leave Stanley out of the equation when they’re around her.
“Will you come and sit down?” I ask in vain.
She’s too wired to sit still. “Is that a car?”
I twist my head and look out the window. “Yes, but not theirs.”
“Shouldn’t they be here by now?”
“Anytime now, babe.” I stand up because I can’t watch her walk around the sofa one more time. “Hey,” I say, grabbing her hips so that she can’t move.
Her body is stiff as she looks up at me. “I’m nervous.”
“I’ve noticed. What are you nervous about? You know my parents. Everyone wants the same thing here, Tilly.”
“What if I react to seeing them the way I did with you? I want this to work, but what if—”
That’s enough. I bend my head and seal my lips over her mouth.
With all the nervous energy she has rattling around, I expect her to push me away and make some excuse about my parents not catching us kissing in the living room, b
ut she doesn’t do that.
She grips my upper arms, tilting her head back and kissing me like it’s the last time. My body responds to her close proximity in a heartbeat. I kiss her deeper, my tongue passing her lips.
Her fingertips curl into my skin, and she moans. I lose it. Rushing forward, I slam her against the wall and press my body into hers. One of my hands leaves her hip, and I reach down to grab her thigh and wrap her leg around me.
But the doorbell rings.
“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter against her mouth.
Laughing lightly, she pushes me away and takes a breath.
Great. My parents are here, and I’m so worked up that I think my teeth are going to snap from clenching my jaw.
“You should get that,” Tilly says, straightening her clothes. Besides her lips looking a little redder, she doesn’t look manhandled.
“Right,” I reply, turning to adjust the massive erection she’s just given me. I walk to the front door and tug it open. “You don’t have a key?”
“Hello to you, too, Lincoln,” Mum says, pulling me into a hug. “Your dad forgot the old house keys and didn’t realise until we were over halfway.”
“You didn’t remember them either, Martha,” Dad says behind her.
“Hey, Dad.” I move aside and let them in.
Mum immediately seeks Tilly, who looks like she’s ready to bolt for the back door. This was never going to be an easy meeting, but it’s one we need to get through. Hopefully, things will get easier each time.
“Tilly. Hello, darling,” Mum says. She doesn’t move any closer because I think she also senses Tilly’s reluctance.
Smiling, Tilly replies politely, “Hi, Martha.”
“How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
I move around my parents and curl my arm around Tilly’s back. “You guys want a coffee? I can show you the new kitchen.”
Well, the only new things about the kitchen are the flooring, paint, and wall tiles. I managed to salvage the cupboards by sanding them down a little and painting them grey. The oak wooden worktops have also been sanded and had oiling treatments. It looks like a new kitchen.
“Sounds good. I love what you’ve done in this room. The carpet and walls look great,” Dad says. “The floorboards underneath weren’t too bad?”
We walk into the kitchen.
“Most of them needed replacing, but it didn’t take long with Jack and Ian here, too.”
Tilly moves away and heads to the kettle. She’s trying to keep busy.
I grab the mugs and lean close. “Relax, babe. It’s okay.”
Her eyes peek up at me, and she takes a breath. “I’ll leave this with you then,” she replies, putting the kettle on the stand and flicking it on.
I smile as she turns to my parents. She’s willing to try at least.
“It’s incredible, right?” she says.
I look over my shoulder to see what she’s talking about. Mum and Dad look around the room in awe.
“It is,” Mum replies. “So beautiful, Linc. I can’t believe you did all of this.”
“I had help.”
Tilly nudges my back. “He’s being modest. He’s worked so hard.”
“We’re so glad you invited us,” Dad says. “We’ve wanted to come back so many times, to reach out to you and your parents, Tilly.”
Tilly nods. “I’m glad you’re here, too.”
Mum’s eyes glow at Tilly’s admission. I’m worried that she is too invested and wanting to jump straight back into how things were. I’ve learned the hard way; it takes work and patience to get to a place where all is forgiven.
We take drinks into the living room and sit down.
Tilly smiles at my mum, her eyes warm and free of contempt. A week ago, she wasn’t sure if we could be together, and now, she’s full-on forgiving. I don’t know where she gets the strength.
Mum looks at Tilly like she’s trying to figure out if she’s sincere or not. Mum has often told me how much she misses Tilly and the relationship they had. I wonder if Tilly is feeling that now, too.
“How have you been?” Mum asks her.
“I’m doing okay now. It’s been rough though.”
“Tilly, I am so sorry,” Mum says through emotion that sounds like it’s clogging her throat. “We thought we were doing the right thing by Stanley.”
“I might not agree with what you did, but I do understand it. I don’t hold you accountable for Stanley’s actions.”
Dad clears his throat. “Thank you, but we are to blame.”
Shit.
They are, of course, but I didn’t think they would admit it.
“What happens now then?” I ask them because it’s a little late to make him face up to what he’s done.
Dad takes Mum’s hand. “We have tried talking to him. He’s agreed to start counselling. There is no telling if it will do any good, but it’s a start.”
“He agreed?” I ask, needing that confirmed.
“Yes,” Mum says softly. “We should have made him talk to someone long ago, and that was our mistake as his parents. We’re trying to do the right thing now for your family, Tilly. For Robbie especially.”
“Thanks,” Tilly whispers, taking a deep breath. It could well be too little, too late, but at least they’re acting. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with being around Stanley.”
“No one will ask that of you—not now, not ever,” Mum tells her, beating me to it. “We were hoping that you would allow us to be a part of your life with Lincoln though?”
Tilly looks up at me, but I keep a straight face. Her decision has to be based on what she can do, not what I want.
She smiles and squeezes my hand. “I would like that, Martha.”
The relief on Mum’s face would be clear from space. Her dark eyes light up. “That’s wonderful. We have missed you. Perhaps, when you’re ready, you can visit? You’ll like our new house. We have a hot tub,” Mum says.
When Tilly was young, Mum and Emma used to take her swimming, and they’d use the hot tub. Mum would come home, gushing about how cute Tilly was. I have a feeling Mum always hoped for a girl, but I clearly am not.
“That sounds amazing,” Tilly replies, squeezing my hand tight.
It’s a little too soon for her. She’s okay to talk to my parents, and she’ll go through any long-drawn-out conversation we’ll undoubtedly have, but she’s not ready to play happy families again. The Reids and the Drakes were once intertwined, spending so much time together that we might as well have been related, but a lot has happened, and four years have passed.
Mum wants to jump right in, right back to when everything was good, but that’s not possible. If we can even get to that point again, it’s going to take a lot of work.
She’s not a stranger to hard work. She fought for Stanley so hard that she lost a piece of herself, but I know it’s going to hurt when she finds out that Tilly will want to take this slow. Not that she has a right to be upset. The fact that Tilly is here at all is a miracle.
Sensing Tilly’s unease, Dad changes the subject, and we chat about the house renovations a little more, Tilly’s job, my dad’s job, and just about everything else we can think of that doesn’t delve too deep. Dad and I have yet to discuss the business, but he will know that we’re going to have to alter our plans, so I can work from here.
Hour two rolls around, and I’m beginning to tire of talking so much.
“We should get going soon,” Dad says.
Mum’s smile falters. “Oh, yes.” She looks back at Tilly like she never wants to let her go again.
I know how much Mum loves her, but she is going to have to take a step back in order to go forward. I had to take about a thousand back.
“Um, maybe, in a few weeks, we can go for dinner with my parents or something?” Tilly asks.
“Only if that’s cool,” I tell her.
I don’t want her rushing anything for my benefit. We’ll get there. In the future, there
will come a point where we can all be in the same room, both sets of parents—perhaps not Stanley—but there isn’t a rush.
“It’s cool. I’m ready to move on.”
Epilogue
Tilly
Linc is asleep beside me. We’re in Rome, Italy, on our honeymoon after a shotgun wedding, a year after he came home. No, I’m not pregnant.
It’s mid-morning. We slept in after not sleeping much last night. I slip out of bed, wrapping one of the many sheets around my body, and open the door in our bedroom to the balcony.
I step outside, and the hot air slams me in the face. Rome is stunning but bloody hot. As much as I love the view of the Colosseum, I have instant regret of leaving the air-conditioned room.
“Tilly,” Linc calls. I turn as he props himself up on his elbow, his naked body in perfect view. “Why are you on the balcony in just a sheet?”
“No one can see,” I reply. Well, probably not. I can’t see anyone else on their balconies, so I assume that means I’m not being seen.
He holds his hand up. “Come here.” His voice is deep and demanding and makes my insides burn.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because, if I do, we’ll be there for hours, and I want to explore some more on our last day.”
Linc narrows his eyes and sits up. “We’ve been everywhere we wanted already, so by exploring, do you mean, shopping?”
Laughing, I step back into the room. “Guilty.”
I can’t believe that, ten days ago, I married this man. How bloody lucky am I?
We had a small ceremony with only family and close friends. It was perfect, and the fact that my family and his got along warmed my heart. We did have dinner with Linc’s parents and mine. At first it was awkward and even got a little heated, but the air was cleared.
Linc hasn’t said anything, but I think his parents will move back soon. Slowly but surely, they’ve been rekindling their friendship with Mum and Dad.
Stanley isn’t coming back. He moved in with two friends and took a job at a local bar. Linc didn’t seem surprised, and neither did their parents. The whole subject is still a bit sore, so we don’t visit it that often. I know the bare minimum about Stanley’s life, like how well he’s doing at counselling, and although I don’t wish him any ill will, that’s how I want to keep it.
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