Keri stomped onto the porch, underestimated the ice beneath her, and fought to maintain her footing. Only a last-ditch grapple for the railing kept her from landing hard on her behind. But that near-catastrophe was nothing compared to what had almost happened inside the cabin. Her lips tingled, whether from the almost kiss, or the chill in the air, she didn’t know. Nor did she want to know. How dare Justin have the gall to think she still loved him?
She hadn’t meant to be so transparent. Over and over, she reminded herself, this Justin was not the same one who had left Briarwood fifteen years earlier.
With carefully guided steps, she made her way to the Jeep. She grabbed the keys out of her pocket, unlocked the door and slid into the driver’s seat. First things first. She cranked the ignition, and the engine roared to life, sending a shot of freezing air through the wide-open vents.
She gasped from the shock of the cold blast rushing into the Jeep. With a flick of her numbed fingers, she closed the vent. Why hadn’t she thought to grab gloves? Justin. That’s why. He’d rattled her so much, she hadn’t followed even the most basic of weather-survival training. Reaching forward she tested the air. Not exactly warm, but better than icy. She switched on the radio. All the emergency vehicles including Ed’s road crew trucks were on the same channel, so there was bound to be someone out there listening.
“This is Officer Mahoney. Anyone out there? Over.”
“That you Keri, honey? We’ve been trying to raise you all night. Over.”
Keri groaned. What was the chief doing on the radio this time of the morning? Today was supposedly his day off.
“Yeah, Chief,” she said with a sigh. “It’s me. We’re all iced in up here. What’s it like in town? Over.”
“Bad. We’re warning people to stay home, but you know how folks are—everyone thinks they’re the only ones who can drive on ice, and every other driver on the road is an idiot. We’ve had more than a dozen minor accidents since it all started. Over.”
“What about the highways? Over,” Keri broke in before he could hint around for her to come in and help with traffic calls. He and Abe were more than capable of taking care of a few fender benders without her.
“Now, don’t you even think of trying to get out on Highway 13. As it is, it’s going to be at least tomorrow afternoon before the crews get out there. But the forecast is calling for six more inches of snow tonight, so they may not get out for another day or two. You and Mac just hold tight and don’t worry about anything here in town. Over.”
Shame washed over Keri at the chief’s concern for her well-being. “All right, Chief. But don’t you work too hard. No sense wearing yourself out. Over.”
“I’ll do my best. Over.”
“Uh—Chief, get any faxes from KCPD? Arrest warrants? Anything like that? Over.” She knew she was about as subtle as a ticking bomb, but didn’t know how to approach the subject any other way.
“Nothing that I know of. Over.”
Relief spread calming fingers through her.
“All right. Just wondering. You take it easy and I’ll check in again later. Keep Abe away from the switch, will you? Over.”
She heard his chuckle. “I’ll do that. Enjoy your vacation. Over and out.”
Keri switched off the radio. Tucking her hands inside her pockets to get them warm, she leaned back and stared at the icy landscape.
Chapter Five
He drummed his fingers across his sleek desktop and took a long, slow drag from his cigarette. With a satisfying sense of release he watched the smoke billow through the air above him. He knew people in the smoke-free building suspected he lit up in his office, but what did he care? It was his office. And since he locked the door first and opened the window to get rid of the smell, they couldn’t actually prove it.
It irked him that a man couldn’t smoke where he wanted. So much for living in a free country. Even New York City, of all places, had passed a no-smoking ordinance. Pretty soon even the smallest of pleasures like an after-dinner cigarette would be banned everywhere.
A sudden cough rumbled through his chest. He frowned at the pain shooting through his lungs, then took another drag.
So Justin had made it to some hideout. Somewhere he thought he was safe. Funny thing about feeling safe. Just when you least expect it. WHAM! The hammer falls. Amelia knew that. She’d thought she was pretty smart.
If his wife had found out…Well, he couldn’t have let that happen, could he? He might not be the most faithful of husbands, but she was the only woman he’d ever loved. The only one he would ever love. She was the only thing in his life that was good. Everything he’d done had only been for her sake. She didn’t know it, but it was only for her sake. And he’d do whatever it took to make sure she was protected from all the ugliness. Whatever it took….
Keri felt great after a Pilates routine in the privacy of her bedroom, a quick shower, and an hour of devotions to make up for wigging out on God the night before.
Peals of laughter carried through the house from the kitchen, causing her to grin into the silence. Unable to resist, she closed her Bible and followed the sound. All four “men” were embroiled in a capture-the-world board game.
“Hi, Keri!” Billy greeted her, his eyes wide with excitement. “My armies just took out one of Dad’s.”
“Miss Keri,” Justin gently reminded, ruffling the boy’s hair to take the bite out of the scolding.
The little boy seemed unfazed. He gave her a wide grin. “Sorry, Miss Keri.”
Keri couldn’t hold back her chuckle. “It’s all right. How are you doing, Josh?”
The boy scowled and motioned to the board. “My armies are blue.”
At the sight of the sparse number of blue armies, she sent him a sympathetic wink. “Oops. Looks like you’ve lost a few battles.”
“You think so?” His tongue dripped with sarcasm as he gave her a withering look.
Taken aback, Keri was speechless.
“Josh!” Justin’s stern voice made her jump. “Apologize to Miss Keri, right now. It’s not her fault you’re losing the game.”
Josh threw the dice across the table and shot to his feet. He glared at her. “I’m not sorry!” Running past her, he disappeared through the kitchen door.
“I’ll take care of this,” Justin said, his jaw clenched. Keri touched his arm as he walked past. He stopped, towering above her.
“Don’t be too hard on him. He has his reasons for behaving this way, and I have a feeling it doesn’t have anything to do with the game. At least talk to him before you make him apologize or whatever you intend to do to him.”
His expression softened and Keri thought her heart might burst from her chest. He reached forward and trailed his finger along her jawline. “I’ll go easy on him.”
She looked down to keep from revealing what she knew he already suspected: that despite her doubts about him, the wondering, the agonizing reality of what she had to do, despite all those things, she loved him still. She didn’t look back up until Justin disappeared through the kitchen door.
“Well, I guess that pretty much wraps up the game, then doesn’t it?”
Though Dad spoke the words to Billy, he kept his scrutinizing gaze fixed on Keri.
Her cheeks burned. “Excuse me,” she said. “I have to—” What? What did she have to do? Her mind was blank. She had to escape. To be alone with her thoughts. To make sense of her jumbled emotions. “I’m going to my room.”
She left them staring after her. The door to the room Justin was sharing with his boys hung slightly ajar when she walked by on the way to her own sanctuary. Her curiosity got the better of her and she halted her steps and listened.
“I hate him!” Josh’s voice leaked through the door.
Peeking inside, Keri saw Justin shift on the bed so that he could put his arms around his son.
“You can’t hate the man who killed your mom, Josh. It’ll eat you alive. Believe me, I know. You have to learn to forgive. Once the devil
weakens you with bitterness, he can lie to you until you don’t live for Jesus anymore.”
Her stomach flopped. What exactly was Justin saying here? Believe me, I know. Was he saying he hated the man who killed his wife? Or was he saying he’d hated his wife and the devil had used it to weaken him to the point that he’d killed her?
Deep in thought, she jumped when Justin appeared at the threshold. So much for her cop instincts. Sheesh.
Confusion showed in his face when he found her outside his door. “Keri? What are you doing?”
She opened her mouth to form a good excuse, but nothing sprang to mind. With a sheepish grin, she shrugged. “Eavesdropping?”
Justin chuckled. “At least you’re still honest.”
“How’s Josh?”
“He fell asleep. How much did you hear?”
“Enough. Still preaching the same old sermons?”
“What do you mean?”
“The ‘forgiveness’ speech. You know…what you just told Josh. Not that it wasn’t good, but it’s exactly the same as when we were kids.”
His brows lifted. “I didn’t realize I had a ‘forgiveness speech,’ but truth is always truth.”
Keri nodded. “You’re right, of course.” After all, she was the one still serving the Lord, not him.
Justin stepped all the way out of the room and shut the door softly. He leaned back, resting the sole of his shoe on the door, and folded his arms. “What did you mean about this being the same speech as when we were kids?”
A shrug lifted Keri’s shoulders. “It just reminded me of that time in sixth grade when Tammy Albright lied to Mr. Larken so he’d take the role of Juliet away from me and give it to her. Remember? She told him I said he had to give me the part because my dad was on the school board and could have him fired? The weasel gave her the part just to prove a point.”
His eyes clouded for a minute as though he were trying to revive the memory, then a sudden grin split his face, sending Keri’s heart into a tizzy. “That’s right!” he said. “You showed up and sat with me on the front row. I remember how proud I was of you.” He winked. “And if I remember right, that was the first time I held your hand.”
“Could have been,” she mumbled.
She remembered every warm, finger-laced second of it as though it had just happened yesterday.
“Anyway, remember how vindicated you felt when Tammy forgot half her lines?” He laughed. “Later, you flat-out told her God made it happen to teach her a lesson.”
Resentment pinched her heart as the sweet handholding memory gave way to the humiliating aftermath. “Yes, and you embarrassed me by telling her that wasn’t true. That one thing had nothing to do with the other.”
“Well, what you told her wasn’t true. You know God isn’t going to make something bad happen to a twelve-year-old girl just because she took away the chance for Hollywood fame and fortune from you. Besides, didn’t she still apologize and tell you she felt too guilty for lying and that was why she couldn’t remember her lines?”
“Too little too late,” Keri muttered.
“I can’t believe it.” His expression changed from amused to bewildered.
“Can’t believe what?”
“You’re actually holding a grudge against Tammy after all these years?”
If only she could deny it, but seeing the whole thing through his eyes brought it to its proper perspective. She gave him a lopsided smile. “Dumb, huh?”
His returning smile was dazzling and Keri hoped for her sake that he was still afraid of being walloped again. Because if he moved in, she doubted very seriously she’d have the strength to resist his arms or his kiss. As if reading her thoughts, his expression grew serious and his foot dropped to the floor. His arms unfolded and he stepped forward. “Keri…”
A scream shot like an arrow from the bedroom, piercing the air with terror. Justin spun around and pushed through the door with Keri on his heels. Josh sat huddled against the headboard, his eyes wide, face drained of color.
“Josh, honey, what happened?” Justin asked, sitting on the bed.
“He was here, I saw him outside the window trying to get in.”
A lump formed in Keri’s throat. Her pulse quickened and all of her senses alerted to danger. “Saw who, Josh?” she asked.
The little boy gave Justin a pitiful look and flung himself into his father’s arms.
“Shh, son,” Justin said, rubbing Josh’s back and holding him close. “It’s all right. No one is here. It was just a bad dream.”
“Look,” Keri said softly. “The curtain is all the way closed, honey. You couldn’t have seen anyone.”
“I saw him,” Josh insisted.
“Who?” Justin held him out at arms’ length and looked him in the eye. “Who do you think you saw?”
Josh gulped several breaths of air and seemed unable to form the words. Finally, he found his voice enough to whisper, “The man who killed Mommy.”
Chapter Six
“Justin, there’s just no way anyone was out here.” Crouched outside the window, Keri shook her head and pointed to the frozen earth. “The ground is covered with ice and snow. Even a bird or small animal would leave some sort of print.” She stood up and faced him. “Look. No tracks. If there was anyone out here, he wasn’t walking.”
“He was dreaming?”
She nodded. “Almost certainly. And it’s no wonder. He still hasn’t adjusted to his mom’s death.”
There wasn’t even a hint of condemnation in her assessment of the situation, so Justin didn’t bother to insist upon his innocence. Instead, he studied her face, searched her eyes. He had to know if she was only trying to reassure him, or if she truly believed they were in no danger. “Are you sure about this?”
“Absolutely. Besides, how would Josh know what his mother’s killer looks like?”
In the confusion, Justin hadn’t considered that. “Good point.” He nodded. “Now I just have to figure out how to convince him it was just a dream.”
“You can handle it.” Keri patted his arm as she walked past him and headed for the wood pile next to the back door.
Justin fell into step beside her. “That’s it? No advice?”
A shrug lifted her shoulders. She grabbed an armload of logs from the pile. “Open the door, will you?” she grunted under the weight of the logs.
“Good grief, Keri, give me the wood.” Without waiting for her permission, he relieved her of the load. “Are you going to answer my question?”
“I’ve been trying to think of something, but I’m just not qualified to offer you any advice on that one. I’m not a counselor or a parent.” She stopped and regarded him, earnest concern clouding her beautiful green eyes. “You’re a good father. Anyone can see that. Just do what comes naturally and be as honest as you can without belittling his fear.”
She hesitated as though she wanted to say something else, then thought better of it and turned to open the door. “Wait. What else did you want to say?” A frown creased her brow as she struggled to decide whether or not to go ahead.
“Come on,” Justin prodded. “Spill it.” “All right, but you might not like what I have to say.” The corners of his lips turned up. “I often don’t.” Her face hardened. “If you’re not going to take me seriously, there’s no point.”
All amusement fled, and Justin nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Josh is obviously dealing with some deep hurt about his mother’s death. We just witnessed a vivid nightmare. But are you sure he didn’t see something the night his mother was murdered?”
Justin gave a vehement shake of his head. “The police questioned the boys. They were both asleep upstairs at the time—thank God.”
“It must be something else then. Do they know the police suspect you?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“What happens when they find out? Especially if you go to prison?”
Keri’s words slammed into Justin like a line drive to the gut
. He couldn’t bear the thought of what the boys would think of him. Would they believe he was capable of doing such a thing? Would they feel betrayed?
He collected a deep breath and returned Keri’s gaze. “I know. I haven’t thought of much else. Josh used to be even more outgoing and fun-loving than Billy, if you can imagine that.” He shook his head. “It’s as if when Amelia died, part of him died, too. And I don’t understand it because they weren’t that close.”
“They weren’t that close?” Keri’s brow creased. “What child isn’t close to his mother?”
Justin gave a short laugh. “The child who has the kind of mother my sons had. Let’s just say she wasn’t the maternal sort.”
He knew he’d said too much when her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “You didn’t love her?”
The question rankled him. Here he was trying to share his worries about his sons and she had to revert to cop-dom on him. “Don’t start interrogating me, Keri. I know what it looks like, but to tell you the truth, no, I didn’t love her as a wife. We slept in separate rooms after the twins were born.”
Compassion darted to her eyes, then fled as quickly as it had come. Her face became a stone mask, dashing Justin’s hopes. “Look, Justin. I don’t care what kind of relationship you had with your wife. It’s a shame your boys didn’t have the benefit of strong mother-love, but that doesn’t change the facts. I don’t want to know the intimate—or lack thereof—details of your life with another woman.”
Her chin trembled. And that small involuntary action shot into Justin’s heart and pierced his conscience. She was fighting her emotions enough without him adding to it. Part of him wanted to explore her vulnerability. To toss the wood aside and gather her close. To see if she would pull away this time or allow his kiss. But he couldn’t do that to her. Not while she clearly wrestled with whether she should believe him or not. He smiled. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t involve you in this any more than you already are.”
Reasonable Doubt Page 6
