“We’re coming with you,” Cooper said.
Colleen turned around and shook her head, “Nope.”
“We are, end of discussion,” he said, puffing his chest.
“Excuse me,” she said, placing a hand on each side of the five o’clock shadow beard he had been trying to grow for over a week, “They need you here more than I need you out there.”
“They can handle it here. They’ve got John and Becca and—”
“I appreciate your wanting to help, but who’s going to keep John from burning this place down when he falls asleep in the boiler room? Without Dr. Vasquez, you're our only hope. If you don't stay, we might not have a place left to come home to,” Colleen said sincerely. Her typical hard expression morphed into a soft smile.
“Hey! I resent what you are implying, Colleen. I perform an essential job here,” John protested. He stumbled out the sliding doors, hands full of waterproof nylon bags that were packed tightly with food and medical supplies. He dropped them at the foot of the horse and wiped his brow.
“I’m not implying anything John, I flat out said it. You know I love you, but Samara has her hands full.”
“You aren't lying,” Samara chimed in, “It’s like having a second child.”
John stuck his tongue out at her, before sitting down to pout and rub his swollen ankle.
“If you aren’t going to let any of us go with you, then at least take my horse. I won’t take no for an answer,” Chenoa pleaded.
“What? We couldn’t do that to you,” Marisha said, “You’ve had him forever. What will you ride then?”
Chenoa looked at Cooper and shrugged one shoulder, nodding her head in his direction. Cooper wasn’t paying attention, fumbling around with the saddlebags.
“Buttercup is in your hands now. I insist. He and I have already had a talk, and he promises to be on his best behavior. As long as you all stick to the coast, there should be no problem finding good grass for him to munch on,” Chenoa walked over to pat the horse on the neck, and slick her hand across his coat.
Jackson ran up, nudged Cooper in the back of the knee, and dropped his wet chew toy at his feet. Cooper picked it up and tossed it too hard. It landed on the other side of the cracked and potholed parking lot and disappeared in the thick growth. Jackson looked in the direction, let out an exaggerated huff, and plopped down beside him in defeat.
“Buttercup? Why is this the first time I'm hearing this? I’ve only ever heard you call him Mr. Butters—what kind of name is that for a horse,” Cooper said, scrunching his nose.
“It’s a perfectly noble name for a horse. It’s from a book, so you wouldn’t get it,” she stared Cooper down, sticking her neck out as if waiting for him to snap back, “Besides, he likes it, and that’s all that matters.”
Rolling his eyes, Cooper turned back around. He lifted each of the horse's hooves, inspecting them for any abnormalities or sores. Finally, running his hand across the horse's coat, he looked closely at his teeth. Any sickness or minor health problems would be multiplied exponentially on the long and grueling ride, and there would be little time for recovery.
Colleen leaned over and whispered in Chenoa’s ear, “Wasn’t Buttercup a princess?”
“Yeah, but there’s no reason he needs to know that. Baby steps.”
As soon as Cooper was done getting the saddle snug, he packed the horse with the waterproof bags, balancing the load on either side. He strapped on a large nylon pouch to the side of the saddle. It resembled a sling with two holes in the rear and a large one upfront, held together with leather stitching tightly cinched up to the side.
“Umm, what is that for?” Colleen asked.
Cooper tied the last knot snug, checking to see if everything was secure with a hard tug, “I didn’t imagine you planned on leaving him here with us. We love him, but I just don’t think it would be the same for you without him.”
“Jackson?” Colleen asked, pointing down to the curly-haired dog that laid belly up on the ground, awaiting belly rubs.
“Petty confident we aren’t talking about the chickens in the back,” Chenoa quirked.
“Well, this is for him to tag along. Legs go here,” he said, opening up the back, placing his hands through the holes and moving them in a kicking motion, “and this upfront is for the front paws and his head. It’s a sling. Based it on a traditional design used by my people—with a few modifications, of course.”
“I really appreciate it, but I was just going to have him follow along with us. He made it 2000 miles, you know.”
Cooper put his hand to his forehead, squinted his eyes, and shook it is slowly back and forth, “You can’t be serious? This trip will be absolute hell on his body. I know it’s hard to see, but he’s lost a step, limps a bit more, sleeps a bit later than when you first arrived.”
“Do you think he's…?”
“Oh no, no, no, it's not like that. I’m just trying to make life easier for him,” he held his hands up in surrender.
Colleen bit her bottom lip, “Thanks, Coop, I—we appreciate it. I hadn’t thought about that.” She loaded him up in his pouch. Although he squirmed a lot and looked awkward at first, he settled in.
Lito came riding over the hill, his bags already packed and dressed for the long trip. Colleen had to admit that no matter how much she distrusted him, he was undoubtedly invaluable.
“What’s he doing here?” Cooper said, crossing his arms across his chest and blocking Lito from getting any closer. He puffed his chest up, sidestepping when Lito would pull the horse in either direction.
“Is this really necessary?” Lito said.
“Cooper, back off,” the women said in unison.
“Don’t tell me you are letting him go with you? Who’s going to watch your backs?”
“I think we girls can manage on our own quite well,” Marisha said, piping in.
Lito slowly dismounted and walked toward them. The closer the two got, the more apparent it became that they sized each other up. Chenoa slid between the two of them and put a hand to each of their chests.
“This is stupid. I can’t believe I have to do this for two, and I use this term loosely, grown men. Stop all this crap. These two women need your help, and no amount of posturing will get them on their way any quicker.”
“But he—" Cooper whined.
“But he!” Chenoa said in a high-pitched tone, scrunching her entire face, “Cooper, go finish packing. Lito, I think it would be best if you went and made your way to the rally point outside of town. There’s a lot of tension and bad blood between you and others here.”
“They don’t even know me,” he retorted, but stopped and obeyed when Chenoa glared at him. Lito mounted up, saying nothing else, and rode off north, never looking back.
“Think he’ll be there?” Marisha said.
“He will,” Colleen nodded, “He’s got too much to prove, and there’s no way he’s going back to Truthmore. I’m just glad we got everything out in the open with him. No more pent-up secrets. Those can ruin someone, you know?”
“That’s oddly specific. Did you have something on your mind?” Marisha asked, scrunching her eyebrows together and crossing her arms.
“No, of course not,” Colleen looked away and fidgeted with her horse's saddle, buckling and unbuckling straps at random, each time rougher than the last. “We just need to get moving if we want to make at least a half a day's ride worth of progress.”
Marisha’s heart rose slowly into her throat, choking off her oxygen supply. She could hear her pulse throbbing in between her ears, drowning out all other sounds, “We aren’t exactly in any hurry, you know that, right?”
“I know, but everyone is here helping us get prepared. It would be rude to make them waste their precious time.” Colleen leaned over and grabbed her stomach. Her face had lost some color, and she let out a sigh.
“Are you okay? You don’t look so well. Maybe we should wait until later to go,” Marisha reached to brush the back of h
er hand across Colleen’s reddening brow. She swatted her hand away like it an annoying fly.
“I’m fine,” Colleen coldly spat through clenched teeth.
'Fine,' was a word that Marisha learned, meant the complete opposite to Colleen. The time had come. There wasn’t much reason to keep lying and telling herself that this day would never happen. This wasn’t the sort of thing you could just lock away and forgot about. This secret, in particular, would grow until there was no denying or hiding it. She put her hand in her pocket and flicked the light switch she had found hanging from an exposed wire in Vasquez’s old office.
“Colleen, I, uh, need—hey, could you all give us a few minutes? I really to discuss a few things with Colleen before we go.”
“Sure,” Chenoa said as she grabbed a clueless Cooper, “Take all the time you need.”
Colleen continued to fidget with the saddle, never once looking at or even in Marisha's direction.
“There’s no easy way to say this. A few months ago, when we were in Roseburg, something happened,” Marisha started.
“Well yeah, I am well aware of this. I was there too, you know.”
“Of course you were. I know that, but you weren’t awake for everything that happened.”
Marisha rapidly flipped the switch back and forth, trying to calm herself.
“I was knocked out for a few hours while they tried some bogus procedure, but we already know it was a failure. I don’t need to know all the gory details.”
“That’s not necessarily true,” Marisha said, gritting her teeth as she squeezed her eyes shut.
“What are you talking about?” Colleen shook her head, finally looking in her direction and giving her a quizzical look.
“They did something to you. The procedure was for...something else.”
“Uh-huh, and it didn’t work. Are you done? We've got work to do,” Colleen turned back to her horse.
“Dammit, will you just listen to me! I'm serious,” Colleen stopped fidgeting and slowly turned to face Marisha.
“There, you have my full attention and eye contact. Happy?”
“That day, things happened to you I never told you about. The Killians weren’t doing what they said they were doing. Roseburg, it was a kind of factory.”
“A factory? No, it was an organ farm.”
Marisha's thumb was beginning to hurt. With each flick, a sharp pain shot up her finger. Every part of her wanted to be blunt, but she knew that she had to salvage what she could of their relationship, and being blunt wasn't going to do that.
“Not like that. They were using donors.”
“What in the world are you talking about? Donors?” With her left hand, Colleen motioned for her to hurry up. Marisha swallowed hard, hoping she would catch on. She watched Colleen rub her temples and close her eyes, taking deep breaths, “Can you please just spit it out. Whatever it is you have been hiding, we can get through it. I’ve already come to terms with it.”
“Then, why have you been hinting around otherwise?”
“I was hoping you’d get it off your chest so we can get back to normal,” Colleen snapped. Her voice was harsh and made Marisha back up.
She folded her hands and put them to her mouth, “I’m not so sure you’ll want that after you hear what I have to say, but here goes nothing. You were one of those donors. They used you and your body to help the settlement grow.”
“You mean like, they took a kidney? I think I’d have scars if that were so, and I’m almost sure I’m all in one piece.”
“Your body is the donor. Haven’t you ever wondered why you get sick in the mornings for absolutely no reason, or why you crave the weirdest things at all hours of the night? You know you use the restroom way more than any human should, right?”
“Yes, but that’s not the signs of anything nefarious. Did you hit your head back there?”
“You’re pregnant!” Marisha yelled.
“What? No. I think I’d know that. Just because I’ve missed my—” Colleen stopped, appearing to retreat into her head.
“It hasn’t been that long,” Colleen put her hands up as Marisha tried to move in closer. She closed her eyes and shook her head quickly, jumping back as Marisha attempted to hug her again, “How long have you known?”
“I found out before you were out of surgery. I tried to stop it, but I was too late,” She stared down at the ground.
“You knew this whole time and said nothing?” Colleen yelled.
“I, I wanted to tell you, but the further we got from it happening, the harder it got to tell anyone, especially you. That, and I hoped that the procedure didn't work and that by some miracle, we could just pretend it had never happened. But, then you started getting sick...”
“I can't believe you. I thought maybe you had broken something of mine, or that they tried to lobotomize me or something. But this? I don't think I can--" Colleen's eyes grew wide and she shook her head side to side in disbelief.
“What happened to all that forgiveness you were willing to dish out before? I thought you had come to terms with whatever I had to tell you.” Tears threatened to fall from Marisha's eyes as she watched hatred form in Colleen's. Hatred for her just as much as the Killians.
“Just because I came to terms, doesn't mean it’s all water under the bridge!” Gone were the pale skin and weak eyes, instead her face was bright red, the corners of her eyes pinned back, “How could you not tell me they violated me like that?” Colleen shouted, her voice quivering, “How could you not tell me I could have a life growing inside me?” She looked down, framing her stomach with her hands as if hoping to feel something react to her touch.
Marisha reached for her, but Colleen pulled away, a look of resentment painted on her face. Tears flowed freely down Marisha's cheeks, “I’m sorry you have to believe me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Maybe you didn't mean to, but I’m not sure I can trust much of anything you say anymore.”
“Please, I was just trying to protect you—”
“I don’t think I want to trust you anymore. Just go,” Colleen snapped, anger flamed in her eyes. It scared Marisha, she had never seen her so infuriated.
Twenty-Eight
Marisha
No less than five minutes later, Marisha could hear clip-clopping of hoofs on asphalt coming up behind her. Colleen flew past her, blowing through the 10-foot-tall gates of wood and sheet metal that shut off the hospital grounds from the outside. Up and over the suspension bridge, Colleen was out of view before Marisha could say anything.
She climbed onto her horse, squeezed her legs together, and kicked her heels. Her horse took off, nearly causing her to lose her grip. She held tight to the reins and pushed herself down into the saddle. Colleen and Mr. Butters wound through the city streets, jumping over the growth that had taken over the buildings. Vines stretched across the road, interwoven with enormous flowers and asphalt. Marisha was catching up to her, but at a cost to her horse.
“Hey! Slow down!” Marisha called out.
Colleen dug her heels in harder, pushing Mr. Butters faster. Marisha’s horse was far more adept at sprinting longs distances with its long legs. Now, she was on her heels. Jackson’s head hung down, his tongue wagging back and forth. He looked exhausted and had only been riding in the sling.
“Stop, you are going to wear him out before we get anywhere,” Marisha pleaded, seeing Colleen pull right, aiming her horse around a tight corner. As she came up over the hill, she spotted Lito standing alongside his horse, waiting for them. Colleen pulled up short and slowed down, apparently waiting for her to catch up. Marisha sauntered up, doubled over in the saddle, and tried to catch her breath.
“Are you sure that was such a good idea in your current condition?”
“My current condition is getting out of this place. I’m just fine,” Colleen snapped.
“Is everything good? You guys flew in pretty hot just now,” Lito asked, looking between the two of them and not sure what was goin
g on.
“Of course not,” Colleen scoffed, “but we’ve got places to be, and the last thing we need is drama on this trip.”
Marisha nodded, saying nothing. A comically broad smile stretched across her face. Colleen waved her hand and patted Mr. Butters shoulder as she bent down and kissed him on the crest.
A grimace formed on Lito’s face, “Okay, it just looked like—”
“We have to get going. The sun was highest a few hours ago. We don’t have much riding time left for today. Lito, you take the lead since you have the directions in your head,” Colleen demanded.
“I mean, it’s your trip. You probably should lead since you’ve got the plan. I don’t want to infringe on...whatever this is,” he waved a hand in a circular motion at the girls.
Colleen turned around and looked him in the eye, “I’m not having you watch my back. Thank you very much. I’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to change. We clear?”
Lito nodded, mounted his horse, and slowly sped away in a moderate gallop, leading them as far as he could in the four to five hours of sunshine they had left.
Colleen
Over the next three days, the group spent from sunup to sundown trying to make it as far as they could. It was almost as if nothing had happened, and everything was back to normal. The chilly exchanges between the three were awkward, but there was rarely time for conversation with a destination in mind. Jackson seemed to be the only thing to keep civility between all of them. When things felt like they were coming to a head, he was always there to roll over and show his belly for the tension-relieving scratch.
On the third day, they had run into a rainstorm; the water coming down in sheets. But it only lasted long enough for them to take a quick break. As soon as it let up, Colleen was on them about making up for lost time.
The Maddening: Book 2 in the Terror Saga Page 13
