“Okay,” Rachel said, her eyes wide with fear when Courtney let her go. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Courtney said, pulling Rachel into a fierce hug. “I was your age when a good friend killed herself. And I’ve never forgiven myself for not taking her seriously when she said she’d never survive her parents’ divorce.”
When she released Rachel, Courtney said, “We all go through tough times, Rachel. But tough times always pass. Nothing is ever worth ending your life over. And if you’re really having thoughts of suicide, we need to get you some help.”
“Why can’t you help me?” Rachel begged. “Ask Dad if I can spend the summer with you in New York. Please. I hate summers here. There’s absolutely nothing to do. And Dad’s always out with his fishing parties. I might as well be dead. That’s the way I feel most of the time. Like a lifeless corpse, slowly rotting away.”
“You know your father would never agree to letting you spend the summer in New York with me,” Courtney said. “Besides, I work impossibly long hours. We’d never see each other.”
Rachel’s face clouded over again.
Courtney said, “Have you ever thought about asking Graham to compromise for the next three years and let you live in New York during the school term?”
Rachel shook her head. “Dad would never do that.”
Courtney said, “You’ll never know unless you ask, Rachel. And I hate to point this out, but the conversation we’re having right now is one you should be having with your father. Don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel about things. He loves you. He’ll listen.”
“Dad never listens to me,” Rachel argued. “He only tells me he’s the parent and I’m the child, and that’s the end of it.” She let out a sigh. “Can’t you talk to him about us living in New York during the school year, Courtney? He would listen to you.”
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” Courtney said. “But you and your dad need to work your problems out together. Truthfully, it’s none of my business. And it would only take about two seconds before your dad told me that.”
Rachel’s face turned blood red. “I thought you were different, but you aren’t. And I thought you really cared about me, but you don’t. So stop pretending you’re so concerned! You just proved you’re not.”
Courtney reached for her hand but Rachel jerked it away.
“I do care about you, Rachel,” Courtney said.
“No, you don’t,” Rachel accused. “You’re just like my mother. All you care about is yourself.”
Realization hit Courtney like a thunderbolt.
Rachel hadn’t only been searching for a wife for Graham. She’d also been searching for a mother. Common sense told Courtney to back off. That it wasn’t her place to step in and be a mother to Rachel.
The torment on Rachel’s face wouldn’t let her.
“What if I spend the summer here in Port Protection with you?” The words had popped right of Courtney’s mouth.
Rachel blinked. “You would really do that for me?”
“Yes.”
Rachel grabbed her in a bear hug.
This was a huge decision—a completely life-altering one. Part of Courtney was appalled at how quickly she’d made it. But another part or her had known she wasn’t leaving Port Protection the instant Graham told her to go home. The scare Rachel had just given her only confirmed Courtney’s decision that she wasn’t going anywhere.
She’d come to Alaska to prove she could make her own decisions. And not her mother, or Graham, or anyone else was going to tell her what to do.
Staying was about what she wanted.
She wanted to see if she really could live in Port Protection without being bored in a week’s time. She wanted to see if Beth was right, that the letdown she felt after landing her big account was only normal and that she would want to go back to New York and her career. She wanted to work Rachel’s butt off all summer, so Rachel would never complain about having nothing to do again. And yes, Courtney wanted to stay and prove to Graham that his past didn’t matter to her. If she left without doing all of those things, Courtney knew she would regret it.
She had a lifetime of regrets she couldn’t change.
Courtney wouldn’t allow that to happen to her future.
GRAHAM OVERSLEPT on Monday morning for the first time in years. He attributed such a sound sleep to his clear conscience over not taking advantage of Courtney at the gazebo, instead of the beer he’d consumed in his storage building behind the lodge while he was getting ready for his next fishing party.
He’d immediately excused himself the minute the venison steak dinner he’d fixed for the three of them was over. And he’d left Courtney and Rachel to clean up.
The silent ride back to the lodge after his confession at the gazebo, and trying to pretend nothing was wrong at dinner had been painful enough. Only a sadist would have stuck around to see the pity in Courtney’s eyes where admiration had once been.
At least Courtney wouldn’t leave thinking he wasn’t man enough to finish what he’d started back at the gazebo. Now she understood he was man enough to let her go back to New York and find love and happiness with a man who didn’t have so many demons in his past.
Courtney deserved happiness.
He didn’t.
But another glance at his bedside clock made Graham wonder why Rachel hadn’t already come to check on him. He rarely slept past six and it was now eight o’clock in the morning.
Graham also hadn’t heard any movement in the house since he’d been awake, leading him to believe Rachel and Courtney were sleeping in this morning, too. He’d shower and have breakfast waiting when they did get up.
He didn’t want Courtney to leave hating his guts.
He just wanted her to leave.
For her sake, and for his.
When Graham made it into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, however, he found evidence that Courtney and Rachel had already eaten breakfast—two plates were stacked neatly in the sink, two juice glasses beside them. He forgot about making breakfast and made a pot of coffee instead. He had just poured a cup when he heard the front door open. Seconds later, Courtney and Rachel walked into the kitchen, Broadway right behind them.
“Glad to see you finally got up, old lazybones,” Rachel teased.
The old reference set his teeth on edge. “I’ve been up. Where have you been?”
“Oh, here and there,” Rachel said in a singsong voice.
Graham didn’t miss the wink Rachel gave Courtney. If either of them thought he was going to beg for a more specific answer, he wasn’t. His head hurt. He had a big day ahead of him. And he was in no mood for any more of Rachel’s games.
Graham took his coffee, pushed through the kitchen’s swinging doors and seated himself at the dining table in the great room. It was then he noticed Courtney’s luggage already packed and waiting by the front door.
She obviously couldn’t wait to be on her way. And he certainly couldn’t blame her after he’d revealed that Dr. Jekyll did indeed have a Mr. Hyde side.
Graham had just taken his first sip of coffee when Courtney walked out of the kitchen and stopped beside him at the table. She was wearing exactly what she’d been wearing the first time he saw her. And those tight jeans tucked into her high-heeled boots still left Graham’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.
“I had Rachel figure up the cost of my plane ticket and my room for the last three nights,” she said, placing a credit card slip on the table in front of him.
Without even looking at her, Graham said, “You know I won’t accept this.”
“You don’t have a choice,” she said. “I had Rachel go ahead and run it through on my debit card.”
“Sorry, Dad,” Rachel called out from the kitchen. “But Courtney insisted.”
Graham’s only answer was another sip of coffee. He didn’t want to get into an argument with Courtney, even though it was obvious she was trying to provoke him. Besides, he coul
d credit her debit card later.
What Graham wanted was for Courtney to leave on friendly terms. Then she could forget him. And he could forget her. And Courtney and Rachel could go back to corresponding on the Internet if they wanted. He only had to keep his cool and stay calm until Courtney left.
When Graham didn’t say anything else, Courtney walked away from the table. But he watched her from the corner of his eye as she left. When he saw she was headed toward the front door and her luggage, Graham stood.
“Don’t bother with your luggage, Courtney. I’ll take your bags to the dock when Gil arrives.”
She stopped and turned to face him.
“I’m not going with Gil.”
Graham thought he’d misunderstood. “What?”
“I’m staying, Graham,” she said simply.
Her words were still ringing in Graham’s ears when Courtney opened the front door and took her luggage with her. Graham hurried after her. He caught up with her before Courtney started down the front deck steps.
“Why are you doing this, Courtney?”
She looked straight at him. “Do you have a problem with me staying?”
“I do if staying has anything to do with us.”
Her eyebrow raised. “I wasn’t aware there is an us, Graham.”
“There isn’t. And there won’t be.”
She shrugged. “Well, you know where I’ll be in case you change your mind.”
Her words sobered Graham faster than a face slap.
Courtney had basically just called him a liar.
And she was staying in Port Protection to prove it.
“I won’t change my mind,” Graham vowed as she headed down the steps, her matching pink suitcases in tow.
Courtney didn’t answer.
And she didn’t look back.
She left Graham standing on the deck, shaking his head in total disbelief. Rachel ran past him, hurrying down the steps before Graham could argue.
“I’m going to help Courtney get settled in at The Wooden Nickel,” Rachel called over her shoulder.
Right behind Rachel trotted Broadway.
“Well, this is just perfect,” Graham said, throwing both hands up in the air.
The woman he’d told to go home was staying. And his daughter and his damn dog were running off to help her get settled. Where did that leave him? As blindsided by Courtney staying as he had been by her arrival.
Graham stomped inside and slammed the door behind him. The very nerve of her. Telling him exactly what she knew would eat him up inside.
What a dirty, rotten, low-down thing to do to a guy.
He’d tried to do the honorable thing—warning Courtney he wasn’t worth her time. Everything he’d told her at the gazebo was one hundred percent proof that there was no future with him—not now, not ever.
And what had Courtney done?
She’d ignored him completely.
Well, dammit, he wasn’t going to be forced into anything. Not by Rachel or by Courtney. Courtney could stay in Port Protection for the summer or she could stay for the rest of her life, and it wasn’t going to change a thing.
He was in control of his life now.
Making anyone else happy was not on his agenda.
CHAPTER TWELVE
AT THE WOODEN NICKEL Rachel helped Courtney put her things away in the guest bedroom that had been built in one end of Hal and Peg’s upstairs loft apartment.
Rachel was so excited about her new summer job she could barely contain herself. And as thankful as Peg was for the opportunity to spend the summer in Seattle with her family, Courtney could tell Hal was equally thankful that Courtney had refused a salary. She’d told Hal instead that she considered spending the summer in Alaska rent-free more than a fair trade.
Courtney’s only request had been that Hal and Peg would stay a few days to show her exactly what her responsibilities would be when it came to running the store. But as Hal had joked, the store basically ran itself. All Courtney had to do was be there to keep it open and keep the folks in Port Protection happy.
Of course, there was one person in Port Protection who wasn’t happy. But Graham would have to get over it. She was staying. It was her decision. And as he’d been so careful to point out on the walk back to the lodge after his party, it wasn’t any of Graham’s business where she spent her summer.
Unfortunately, there was someone in New York who would consider it her business. And when Courtney told that someone she was going to be one less vice president until September, Courtney feared her mother would never get over it.
But Courtney couldn’t back down now.
She needed this three-month hiatus. It was a chance to figure out what she did want to do with the rest of her life. Maybe she’d go back to her old life. Maybe not. But at least whatever she decided would be her choice to make.
Courtney sighed and checked her watch again.
For the past thirty minutes she’d been sitting on the bed in the room that would be hers for the summer, holding Peg’s portable phone and waiting patiently for the perfect time to call. Her mother ran her life with the same precision she ran the agency, and her daily schedule was as rigid as her office policies.
In exactly one minute it would be three o’clock Eastern time. That meant Lisa Woods would be at her desk, her afternoon cup of herbal tea in front of her, going over the daily reports she required from each of her department heads.
Courtney took a deep breath and punched in the number for her mother’s private line. It didn’t surprise Courtney when her call was answered on the first ring.
“Why does caller ID say you’re still in Alaska?” her mother demanded without even saying hello.
“Because I canceled my flight this morning, Mother,” Courtney said calmly. “I’ve decided to stay here for the summer.”
The silence was deafening.
“And do what?” her mother finally asked. “Throw your life away over some man.”
“I thought you would understand,” Courtney said. “You threw your life away over some man once.”
A sharp gasp was followed by her mother saying, “I was twenty and stupid! What’s your excuse?”
“I don’t need an excuse,” Courtney said. “I’ve made my decision. I’m staying for the summer.”
“What about your obligations here, Courtney? Do you really expect me to unload your responsibilities onto someone else while you take the summer off?”
“I haven’t taken a vacation in years. I’ve earned the time off.”
“Then don’t expect me to hold your position with the agency until you decide to come home,” her mother said. The chill in her tone would have broken a weaker person.
“I guess I’m your daughter, after all,” Courtney told her. “I’m not backing down any more than you did when your father threatened you with the same thing.”
A loud click ended the call.
Courtney sat there, feeling guilty for being so harsh with her mother, yet knowing she hadn’t had a choice. The only thing her mother responded to was a blunt and to-the-point approach. Had Courtney started out with an apology, she would have been cut off at the knees.
A soft knock brought Courtney’s chin up.
Standing at the door, Peg said, “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” Courtney said, putting on a brave smile.
“Then let’s go downstairs,” Peg said. “I have a bottle of champagne begging for a good reason to open it. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate me going to Seattle and you spending your summer here.”
Celebrate.
Courtney did need to celebrate her freedom from her life in New York—freedom she hadn’t even known she wanted until she arrived in Port Protection. Funny how spending time with Graham and Rachel had changed things, making Courtney realize how pointless her life had become.
Sure, she could brainstorm a new campaign. She could schmooze important clients with the best of them. She could even rake in a multimilli
on dollar account. But at the end of the day she still went home alone.
Would anyone actually miss her back in New York?
Even her mother?
Not really.
Life would go on as usual without her.
Even Beth, who had begged Courtney to stop being stupid and come home when Courtney called earlier to break the news. Courtney hadn’t missed how cheerful Beth had become once Courtney pointed out Beth would have the apartment to herself for the summer.
Here in Port Protection, Courtney was needed.
Peg and Hal needed her to run the store. Rachel needed her to get through the summer. And Graham needed her, whether he knew it or not.
Graham needed her to shake things up. To get his mind off things he couldn’t change. And get his focus on the things he could change.
That’s why she’d laid everything right out in the open before she left the lodge. She wanted Graham, flaws and all. And she’d wanted Graham to know that. What Graham did with that information was up to him. But at least she was willing to stay and fight for what she wanted.
“Weakness is your worst enemy,” her mother had always preached. “Boldness is your best friend.”
She’d been bold with Graham.
And now she’d been bold with her mother.
One day maybe both of them would respect her for it.
RACHEL STOOD OUTSIDE her father’s office Monday night, rehearsing what she planned to say. He’d been busy all afternoon with his new guests. But now dinner was over, she’d cleaned up the kitchen, and the guests had all gone upstairs to bed.
His office door was open, and Rachel had been standing there long enough for him to notice. The fact he was ignoring her on purpose confirmed what Rachel already suspected. Her dad was not pleased about Courtney staying in Port Protection for the summer.
Well, too bad for him.
Rachel was thrilled. Her problem was going to be getting her dad to agree she could start working for Courtney at the store next week when school let out.
Rachel cleared her throat. Her dad still refused to look up. She walked into his office anyway.
Dad’s E-mail Order Bride Page 11
