I focused on a blank chalkboard.
"Hello, remember me? Your best friend?"
What's his name?
I could feel the command from Lisette and before I could stop it, the word "Gus" appeared on the chalkboard.
Damn, damn, damn. I ditched the chalkboard set-up and focused on a pointy rock.
"Don't be an idiot, Gus. Of course I remember you."
"What are you doing?"
"What's it look like, silly?"
"If you ask me, it looks like you're setting up a bloody acre."
I could feel Lisette jump in shock. She hadn't expected Gus to know that.
"How's Grundleshanks?"
Grundleshanks?
I projected the image of a puppy to her.
"He ran away."
"Really?" Gus gave me a look. "He must have been faster than he looked."
Before I could stop it, an image of the real Grundleshanks, wearing a tiny race horse saddle, flashed in my mind.
I felt Lisette relax. That disgusting thing? He's in the temple room, preparing to be sacrificed. We have need of a toad bone.
"He's a toad. He belongs outside. Not cooped up in some tank. He's around here, somewhere," she said, gesturing at the garden.
"Well, that's a pity. He had potential. So... I came all the way from Jersey just to see you. Think you could offer me a lemonade or something. I'm still on the wagon, y'know."
I focused on a field of daisies. I didn't want to register shock at anything Gus said. He was feeling Lisette out and I didn't want her passing his tests because of my random thoughts.
She shrugged. "Sure, but you can't stay long. I have a date."
As they walked into the kitchen, Gus threw Lisette into a chair and handcuffed her hands behind her back. It all happened so fast, there was no time for her to react.
"What are you doing, Gus? This is nuts. Let me go."
"No way in hell. I don't know who you are, but I know you're not Mara."
I felt a choir start singing in my heart. I loved Gus. I could hear him thumping around the kitchen, doing something, but Lisette refused to turn her head and show me. She stared straight ahead, fit to be tied. If she could have popped out of my skin and throttled him, she would have.
"That's ridiculous. Of course I'm Mara. Look at me. Ask me anything. Go ahead."
Don't screw with me, Lisette flashed a warning at me, or I'll send your spirit into eternal torment.
"Where in Jersey am I from?"
Hoboken, I thought at her.
"Hoboken."
"Yeah, good guess. I've never been to Jersey in my life." He dropped the phony accent and set a small, brass vessel on the ground in front of Lisette. Then he drew a sigil at her feet. "Mara would know that."
"I'm going to destroy both of you." Lisette hissed, all pretense gone.
Gus took a vial of dark grey powder out of his pocket. "Then it's a good thing I came prepared. I'm getting you out of the body, one way or another. Even if I have to kill it."
"What?! Wait! No!!!!" I screamed. Had this been Aunt Tillie's plan all along? Was she finally going to have her revenge?
"I call upon the dread Queen of Fate and all her minions to free me from your grasp!" Lisette intoned into the heavens.
Electricity coursed through my body and the handcuffs popped open.
Gus uncorked the vial and threw the powder in my face, just as Lisette was inhaling, before she could get the rest of her incantation out.
The powder seized my lungs and I fought to keep breathing. I couldn't move my hands, my feet, nothing. It was like I was trying to communicate with my limbs through concrete.
Cold...
Cold...
I was so cold...
I could hear my heartbeat slowing down.
Thump...
Thuuump...
Thuuuuump...
The blood in my arteries slowed their movement.
Swiiiiiiissshhhh...
swiiiii... shhh...
swiiiiiii...
Gus drew a circle around me.
"By the Devil and the Dame of Old, I Banish You."
His words were distant and muffled. Like I was underwater, trying to hear someone yelling at me a block away.
I could feel Lisette seething, furious, looking for any way she could destroy Gus.
But my body was a useless, broken suitcase.
I remembered the cards I pulled. Death, destruction and sorrow. Was it only a few months ago? It felt like a lifetime.
I remembered the first time I met Gus. It was at a Halloween party. He was the only one there wearing his normal clothes and yet, he fit right in with all the costumed party-goers.
I always thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. Even if it was platonically. I just never expected it to be because he was the one who would end my life.
He drew a sigil to my right. "By Robin Goodfellow and the Whore of Babylon, I banish you."
He drew a sigil to my left. "By Lucifer and the Fallen Angels, I banish you."
My body thrashed forward and back, in slo-mo, like a human Barbie. I have no idea how. The impulse for movement didn't generate from me.
I focused on breathing. But I was barely able to get any air into my lungs.
How long had it been since my last breath?
Muffled screams and moans of pain squeaked out of my mouth. I didn't think it was from me though. It must be Lisette.
He drew a sigil behind me. "By the Queen of Fate and the Hags of the Eight Winds, I banish you."
She squeezed out what air I had in my lungs, in an attempt to use my voicebox, to counter what Gus was doing.
I needed to take another breath.
I struggled to remember how to breathe.
Open mouth, inflate lungs...
Something between open and inflate wasn't working...
He walked around in front of me and took a second vial of powder out of his pocket. "Begone, Witch. Return to hell and leave this girl be."
And he blew a handful of powder in my face.
My body went into spasms and an unearthly screaming echoed through the room -- as if Hell itself was protesting.
It couldn't be coming from me. I didn't know where it was coming from. I just wanted it to stop.
My vision went black and my heart stopped with a thud.
And then Lisette was gone.
I felt a lightness as I rose up, out of my useless body. I was still in the kitchen, watching Gus hovering over my body.
I looked around to see if Aunt Tillie or if my mom or dad were going to come for me. Isn't that how it goes? Family members show up at your death and escort you to a tunnel of light?
But there was no one.
No one.
Was this what the afterlife was going to be for me? Trapped in the cottage for eternity? Where was everyone?
I looked down at my broken body. The pendant I was wearing glowed with an ethereal light, like a lit ember between my breasts.
Gus ripped the rose necklace from around my neck, breaking the clasp. He dropped it in the brass vessel and slammed the lid shut.
Then everything went dark.
Chapter Forty-Six
When I came to, I was on the couch, wearing an oxygen mask and my arm was sore as hell.
I inhaled deeply, drawing the oxygen deep into my lungs.
Wait. I inhaled. Deeply. When had that started? Last thing I remembered, I was dead.
"She's coming round."
Was that Aunt Tillie's voice? I opened my eyes and pushed off the mask.
"What happened?" I croaked.
"Oh, thank the Gods. You're alive." Gus said, kneeling next to me. "I was about to call an ambulance."
"I thought you were going to save me." I said, remembering.
"I did. I did save you. I would have been here sooner, but do you have any idea how long it takes to get zombie powder? Not to mention the antidote? Without a medical license? I had to screw three registered nurses and the
n talk each one into committing petty theft."
"But... I thought... There isn't any antidote..." I said, struggling to remember.
"No, you're right. If you were in Haiti and you got buried for three days, your brain would have been irreparably cooked. The equivalent of a frontal lobotomy."
"But you saved me? How?"
"Oxygen. Massive quantities of oxygen. And a combo injection of adrenaline to get your heart beating and fludrocortisone to increase your blood pressure."
Then he shoved a piece of black bread, covered in salt, in my mouth.
"Eat it. I've got your body back, but I want to make sure your spirit stays put."
I coughed and choked, but I ate it. Once I was done, he led me to the bathroom, where he had filled a tub with cold, salty water. He made me strip and lay down in it, to shut down the access points on my body. Especially the back of my neck and my forehead.
"Better?"
"Freezing," I said, shivering. "But I could kiss you. The first vial was zombie powder, right? What was that second vial of powder you used?"
"Bone dust and graveyard dirt. Both vials courtesy of Momma Lua. We never want to piss that woman off."
I took a hot shower to warm up, then we went down into the hidden temple room to find Grundleshanks. His tank was on the altar and he was looking thin and forlorn.
"Poor Grundleshanks. He looks hungry."
We took him upstairs and Gus dropped three crickets into his tank.
I was still feeling weak, so I sat on the couch. "You have impeccable timing. How'd you know I needed you right this very minute?"
"It started with Grundleshanks. I kept seeing this totally freaked out little toad in my dreams. I figured if you were freaking out the toad, you were in serious trouble. And then this old lady showed up in my scrying mirror and told me to get my ass out here right now. And when I tried to ignore her, she started breaking all of my mirrors. Scrying, magickal, mundane. Even my refrigerator magnet mirror. Bitch. Then she started haunting my dreams and showing me some scary-ass images of you."
I smiled. Aunt Tillie. She was nothing if not inventive.
"After that, I went to Mama Lua's and we did a little seer work. We got just enough info to seriously freak me the fuck out. Even Mama Lua was worried about you and she doesn't worry about anyone."
I looked out the window at the late afternoon sun and suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. Lucien. I had forgotten about Lucien.
"Cripes. Are you okay? You're turning blue. Lay down. Breathe. While I take full credit for bringing you back from the dead, I think it's time to get you to a hospital."
"I can't," I croaked. "Lucien will be here any minute." Even with everything that had gone on, I couldn't believe I had almost forgotten about Lucien.
I filled Gus in on Lucien's not-so-final demise, his need for a body, and his possession of Paul.
"You said he was looking for a body so that he could cross over when he dies, instead of being stuck here forever. Problem solved," he joked. "He comes home, we chop off his head."
I glared at Gus, not amused. "Don't even joke about that. I'm attached to that particular body."
"We can use the zombie powder, but I don't have any more of the antidote left. If it kills him, it's not a pretty death. And if he manages to survive the first three days, it'll be like someone's given him a frontal lobotomy."
"It's my fault Lucien was able to co-opt Paul's body. Paul shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes."
"Paul may not even exist anymore. He could just be a pile of mush. He might appreciate us retiring his skin suit."
I couldn't believe Gus was actually being serious. "No. N-O. Do you hear me? Harm one hair on his head and I will beat you senseless. He's been through enough. And if there's any hope we can get him back, we're going to try."
I walked out of there and into the kitchen, where I put on a pot of tea. I was so pissed, I didn't know what else to do. After a few minutes, Gus came looking for me.
"All right, I'm sorry. I don't even know the guy. I'm sure he's Mother Theresa and Captain Kirk, all rolled into one. But we still need to figure out how to boot Lucien from his body and from this realm. From what you told me, he needs to die and cross over. If you know how to do that without harming Paul, I'm all ears."
I poured us each a cup of Moroccan Mint tea and begged the universe to give me an answer. One that I could live with. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head that was so outrageous... I had a hunch it just might work. Too bad we didn't have any more chickens left in the house.
I had just finished filling Gus in, when I heard Lucien pull up in the SUV.
Lucien stormed in, furious.
"What's the problem, my love?" I said, faking as much concern as I could, trying my best to be Lisette.
"Damnable farmer. He sold the black bull calf out from under me. He gave me two puppies. Purebreds, he said. Guard dogs. He thought it was about money. They are not acceptable."
He handed over two happy, squirming, Doberman puppies. One black-and-tan, one red.
I put them down on the floor and slowly rubbed Lucien's shoulders, kissing his neck the way Lisette did. "Do not worry yourself. You know I never leave things to fate. I have alternate preparations already in place."
I felt him relax under my hands. "That is but one reason I love you so unfailingly. Let me show you the second reason." He turned and I felt him harden against me.
Perfect. I needed to buy enough time for Gus to get everything in place. This should do it. Hopefully, I had Lisette's moves down cold. Because if Lucien tumbled my little secret, things would get very ugly, very quickly.
"We have a few hours before the dark moon rises." I said, reaching down and liberating an important part of him from his clothing. He picked me up and carried me upstairs.
The thing about Lucien, when it came to sex, I think the man was part horse. He could keep going for hours. And each ejaculation just seemed to make him crave the next even more. It must have been stored up sexual frustration from all those years of being a body-less head.
As we cavorted and played, I tried to sense any vestige of the man I loved, hidden inside the insatiable beast that had taken over his body. It was fleeting, but it was there. In the precious few seconds when Lucien slipped out of control, usually at the peak of an orgasm, I could feel Paul beneath the surface, screaming for help. He was still alive, thank the Gods.
Finally, it was time. I stood up and beckoned to him. "Come, my love, we need that boundless energy of yours for the ritual."
The great thing about being so far away from people -- walking outside naked wasn't a problem. So I led Lucien downstairs and outside, to our makeshift ritual space.
Gus was drugged and tied to the makeshift altar. Next to him, on the ground, I could swear it looked like Grundleshanks was bracing himself.
"What's this?" Lucien demanded.
I laughed and stretched, enjoying the cool night air against my hot skin. "I found you a more powerful body. A body worthy of your magnificence. A young witch, who thought he knew more than he did."
"My, you've been busy."
"It was an unexpected gift from the Gods. He thought he could send me back and rescue his little friend. The fool."
I led Lucien to the altar.
"I trust you know what you are doing, my love," he said.
"With the knowledge and abilities locked in this young witch's mind, you'll finally be one of us." I teased Lucien, kissing his neck. "You'll be unstoppable. And once your spirit is in the witch, we can sacrifice this mundane body to gain even more power."
He moaned in pleasure. "My spirit is in your hands, my love."
I put up a circle and called upon Cromm, one of the old, sacrificial Gods, to attend to this rite. Then I picked up an athame and cut my palm.
Lucien lay on the ground at my feet. I dripped the blood on his chest in the shape of a pentagram.
"By earth, air, fire, water and spirit. By the wind hags of all eig
ht directions. By the guardians of North, South, East and West. I command the spirit of Lucien Odega be mine."
I tried to be so careful not to snag Paul's spirit as well, as I reached into his body and pulled out an entity made of light. It didn't want to let go, but I kept a firm hold on it.
"Lucien Odega, I command you by the Queen of Fate and the Lord of Sacrifice to release this body."
Finally, the entity let go of Paul's body. The light faded from Paul's eyes as he lost consciousness and fell into a deep sleep.
I carried Lucien's spirit over to Gus.
"By my command, Lucien Odega, you whom I have named three times over, thou shalt enter this body and possess it whole." I said, as I hurled Lucien as hard as I could -- into Grundleshanks.
As soon as he realized what had happened, Lucien tried to cry out in protest. But the instant he was in his new body, Gus took a blackthorn spike and skewered it through Grundleshanks's heart.
The heavens shook, lightning split the sky and a portal opened above Grundleshanks's head. As Grundleshanks's and Lucien's spirits went through the portal, it sealed up behind them with a loud boom. The ground around us shuddered and went still.
Chapter Forty-Seven
After the ritual was over, Gus held Grundleshanks's body up to the sky. "Thank you, big guy. Your sacrifice will be honored."
A chill ran through me. "Gus, no. Not..."
"Yes. The toad bone ritual. It's the only way."
I sighed and looked at the poor little toad's body. "You're on your own. I've had enough meetings with the Devil lately."
He nodded over at Paul's body, still on the ground. "What'll we do about that one?"
I walked over to him and felt for a pulse. "Let's put him on the couch. When he comes to, maybe he'll just think he's had a bad dream."
Paul woke up a few hours later, hazy but okay. Gus and I had managed to drag him to the couch and that was probably our saving grace. I think Paul would have completely flipped if he had woken up in the back yard, in the middle of a ritual circle.
Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead (Toad Witch Series, Book One) Page 25
