by Tenaya Jayne
Kendrick pulled the corked bottle from his pocket and opened it slowly. His mother had given him this bottle of illegal off-world stuff and instructed him how to use it. Holding his breath, he poured the dust on the body. The dust lit up, sliding over her skin and around her. A flash lit the space and died out. He walked away, confident the dust had erased any evidence he left behind.
Erin made dinner. Her dad was up in his chair, looking pale, but in better spirits than she’d seen him in very long time. Her hands shook as she set the table. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let it out slowly. It doesn’t hurt that bad. She told herself for the hundredth time.
What was it going to feel like when she rejected Maddox?
One hundred percent worth it, no matter how it hurt. Anything was better than being tied to him for the rest of her life.
The glass in her hand slipped. The shattering made her jump. A tremble quaked around her heart. Stress. Like any muscle overtired and overworked, her heart was warning her it had reached a danger point. She only had two choices. She could find Maddox now, or…
Erin ran to her room and grabbed the rock off her dresser and held it against her chest.
“You okay, honey?” her dad called.
“Fine. Just a minute. I need to change into something nicer.”
Her pulse eased and relaxed. Relieved, she put the rock back and changed into a somewhat dressy blouse. She would be okay enough to get through the evening, but she realized she would have to keep her appointment to see Maddox before the night was over.
She looked at herself in the mirror and wanted to cry. What was she doing? Her connection to Maddox was new. How long could she manage like this? How much humiliation for him would satisfy her?
Unbidden, a wave of desire moved through her. Her eyes rolled back, and her mouth grew hot. She licked her lips, remembering connecting to him. Her mind blurred with it, and her body jolted. The physical memory was suddenly overwhelming. And her body began to rage with desire for him. Her cheeks heated in embarrassment. Could he feel this from her?
Her watch pinged. Damn it. Guess the answer was yes. She grimaced as she opened the message from Maddox.
Are you thinking about me, darling?
She whimpered, feeling she would die of embarrassment. Pull it together! You can bluff your way through this.
Nope. She wrote. This heat is all Jaris.
Her watch refused to play along. The message wouldn’t send. Another message came through.
I feel you… and now I’m thinking of the rain.
She closed her eyes, shivers rising and falling through her body. Damn him.
A knock sounded on the front door. She took her watch off and put it in her sock drawer. There. Now he couldn’t bother her—for a while at least. She only wished she had the time to splash cold water on her face. Erin shook herself and went to open the door.
Dinner was everything she hoped and needed it to be. Jaris was so kind and polite to her dad, and he seemed more energetic than he had been in so long. When it was time for dessert, Jaris’ watch pinged. He looked at it for a moment, then he put his hand under the table in his lap. His watch pinged again and then again.
“I’m sorry,” he said getting up. “Excuse me…Erin, would you join me outside on the porch for a moment?”
“What is it?” she asked, going out and closing the door behind her.
“I’m sorry, I just…After you visited me earlier today, I set my notifications to track you and Maddox.”
“Oh. Okay. What’s going on?”
He showed her his watch. She blinked a few times as she looked at the pictures of Maddox and the blonde that had been at his house that morning. They looked together. It cut a wound in her soul, made her feel sick, and sent a wave of relief through her all at the same time.
“What does it mean?” Jaris asked.
“I told him I’m not giving you up.” She shrugged. “I guess he’s got someone else he doesn’t intend to give up either.”
Jaris frowned, looking back at the news. “I don’t know about this, Erin, it’s screwed up. I feel weird about it. Your dad is dying, and all he wants is for you to have a life mate. And you have one. But here I am, pretending to be more to you than I am.”
“It’s not going to last!” she insisted. “Please.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her tight against him and kissed her mouth. The pain was terrible, but she ignored it and tried to throw herself into the kiss. Would the pain ease the more she kissed Jaris? His hands moved over her back, lighting her up everywhere he touched like flash paper.
Someone cleared their throat. She jumped and looked around, her stomach swooping. Maddox was there, arms crossed, casually leaning against the porch newel post.
“Forgive my intrusion, but I’m going to have to object to this.”
“Why are you here?” she demanded.
Maddox glanced at her and then set his sights on Jaris. “She’s mine, in case you were unaware…and I’ve grown tired of being burned today. Perhaps you’d be willing to not touch my mate again until tomorrow. I’d appreciate it.”
Jaris straightened up and took a step toward Maddox. Maddox just quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Are you really that smug, or is it a cover?” Jaris demanded.
“Smug?” Fire lit Maddox’s eyes. “You’ve got your hands on my life mate. I ask you nicely to stop. That makes me smug?”
“She was mine first,” Jaris yelled.
“Yeah, cause that really matters,” he mocked. “My claim is still stronger than yours.”
“You don’t deserve her,” Jaris insisted harshly.
“I’m aware of that.”
“Let her go then!”
“Hmm…no.”
Jaris moved first.
“Don’t do this!” she pleaded, but they were already in a shoving match.
“Stop!” She pushed in between them. “Just stop.”
They both dropped their raised fists. She looked desperately at Maddox.
He frowned. “We have an appointment, Erin.”
“I’ll be there in one hour, okay?”
“Fine.” His voice was clipped. “If you don’t show, I’ll come back. Fair warning.”
“All right!” she yelled.
He walked down the stairs, and a portal opened and swallowed him. She turned to Jaris. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you want me to back off?”
“No. Please don’t.”
“He said appointment. What does that mean?”
“The connection is making both of us sick, physically. Being near one another lessens the pain. We agreed to meet so it wouldn’t be so severe that neither one of us would lose sleep. That’s all.”
“What are you going to do with him?”
“Nothing,” she insisted. “We might hold hands for a few minutes, that’s all. Trust me, that’s all I can stand.”
“Okay. I’ll go back in and say goodnight to your dad, and then I’ll be on my way.”
“Thank you so much for this. It’s all kinds of wrong. I’m sorry Maddox showed up here. All this just really sucks.”
“Yeah…It’s okay, Erin. You’re worth fighting for.”
They went back in. He said good night to her dad and left. She cleaned up the table and helped her dad back into bed.
“So, what did you think?” she asked as she covered him up.
“What was going on when you were outside? I looked out the window. Looks like you’ve got another young man vying for your affection. I thought that was going to get serious there for a second, until you broke it up. I was a little disappointed. I haven’t seen a good fight in a while.”
“Dad!”
He laughed weakly. “What? If it had come to it, my money would have been on the rangy one. He’s been trained in the Kata—you can see it in the way he moves. What’s his name?”
She shrugged. “Can’t remember.”
“Ha! You’re a bad liar, girl. I don’t pay attention to current events, but he looks like someone I’ve seen. Someone famous, I think. I’ll make you another deal. You bring that other guy around to meet me, and I’ll decide to get a bit better.”
“Really not fair, Dad.”
“Eh. Fair or not, what do say?”
“I’ll think about it. Now you rest. I have somewhere I have to be.”
He barked out a laugh louder than she would have thought possible for him. “You’re juggling them, aren’t you?”
“Ugh. Just rest.”
“Okay. I won’t wait up for you.”
She scowled, turned off his bedside lamp, and left the room. She took stock of her appearance in the mirror for a second. I don’t care what he thinks of the way I look. But she still found herself freshening up and slicking her lips with gloss before heading out into the night. She didn’t want to be seen by anyone, so she pulled from her elf blood and went invisible before using her vampire ability to run really fast.
She got there in a few minutes and dropped the invisibility just outside the protective dome. It shimmered and let her through again. She crossed into the dark garden, it was lit only by the lights in the windows of the house. She stopped and stared at the house. She hadn’t actually looked at it before. Erin blinked, an unconscious smile lifting her lips. The family was super rich, everyone knew that. But this was awesome in a real life way. Cozy and charming. This was where Maddox had grown up?
She didn’t go to the door. Instead, she sat down on a bench next to a fountain. She hadn’t looked at the garden before either, even though the location was forever burned into her psyche. The desire came back with the memory. She breathed deep and leaned back on the bench. She didn’t fight against remembering. She just relaxed as Maddox took her again, right there in the rain, in her mind. There was no rain now. She looked up into the clear night sky as the dreamlike memory shifted through her. Her body remembered as clearly as her mind.
It’s my memory. Nothing can change that.
Tears threatened again as she thought of Selena. It wasn’t fair. If Maddox was to be hers, why did she have to share him with Selena or anyone else?
Erin shook herself, furious at her errant train of thought. The pain must be twisting her mind. Pain. She focused on the pain in her body. That’s why she was here. Just get your medicine and leave. The connection was trying to manipulate her. She wouldn’t let it.
The front door opened, throwing a band of light across her. Maddox walked out slowly.
“Are you coming in, or would you prefer to do this outside?”
“Is she here?” Erin demanded.
“Who?”
“The blonde.”
“No. And her name’s Melina.”
“I don’t care what her name is!” Erin snapped.
He held his hands up. “It sounds like you care.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m ready for that. Seems you are, too. All that heat you’ve been sending me just now and earlier… Inside or out?”
She didn’t budge and seriously considered bolting. This was a bad idea.
“I want to talk to you.” His voice changed, no longer combative. “I’ll make you something to drink.”
She stood then and sighed. She wasn’t afraid of him, and she needed to take control. She marched up to the front of the house and pushed past him. He closed the door. She instantly felt trapped. The connection reared up and was already trying to bring them together. She sat on the couch and looked down.
“I don’t want anything to drink. Thanks anyway.”
“Are you going to run away if I sit next to you?”
“No,” she grumbled. “You wanted to talk to me? Talk.”
He sat down close, but he didn’t touch her. The proximity made her skin hum. Everywhere Jaris had touched her hurt again, only worse than before. She whimpered and leaned forward.
“Will you touch my back? It hurts so much.”
His hand pressed flat against her shoulder blade. She cried out and then bit down on her lip. “Lower.” She breathed.
He ran his hand up and down all over her back repeatedly. The pain turned to a dull ache, then faded and was replaced by warmth and light under the surface. It felt so good, she lost herself in it.
“I’m sorry,” she said before she could think what in the hell she was saying.
“What?”
“Um…for burning you. I hurt both of us.”
He took his hand off her and stood up. She looked at him, confused as he moved to a chair and sat across from her.
“I tried to burn you, too. Didn’t you feel it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Earlier in the day. I assume you were with Jaris. He touched you? He kissed you?”
She nodded.
“I felt it all. I knew what was happening.”
Erin put her hand to her lips. “Yes. I had a moment where it hurt worse, burned hotter on my mouth…So, I let Jaris touch me, and it hurts but it hurts you worse…You kissed someone else, it hurt you, but it burned my mouth worse.”
“I was trying to test it. Sorry.”
She shook her head. “No. That’s okay. So, you and Melina are together?”
He sighed and looked away.
“It’s okay. I saw the pictures from tonight, or were those fake like the headlines this morning?”
“Melina’s trying to help me. She thought if we were seen by lots of people, then whoever has targeted me will have a harder time of it because I had my own witnesses of where I was…but that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, or sort of. It’s connected.”
He wrung his hands together and grimaced.
“You okay?” she asked.
He dropped his hands. “Yeah. I just want to touch you again.” He shook his head. “Anyway. I wanted to talk to you about Selena.”
Her mouth pressed into a thin line, and her eyes burned. “Tread. Very. Lightly.”
He stood and began to pace. “Okay, maybe a different angle…I don’t fully understand why you hate me. Is it just what happened with Selena?”
“No. That’s not all, but it would be more than enough.”
He stopped pacing and sat back down, gazing at her intently. “Tell me. I’ll listen. You are judge, jury, and executioner, Erin. Why do you hate me? Tell me all of it.”
Her heart sped at the thought of laying into him without restraint, but she took a deep breath and tried to organize her thoughts. Cold, she schooled herself. Be cold as ice. “Why should I tell you anything?”
She gasped as a pang of heartbreak smarted in her chest. It wasn’t hers. It was his. She gaped at him, recognizing for the first time she felt his emotions. Her lungs contracted around the feeling and arrested her breathing. She looked into his eyes. They were filling with tears. He turned his face away from her. She shouldn’t do this.
“Okay, Maddox. You asked for it…Look at me.”
He did, and the world seemed to live between his eyes and hers.
“I have always admired your family, as most Regian’s do. All of them seem to… bless everything they touch, and as loved and revered as they are, all of them are humble, except you. You’re nothing but a pretty face with an amazing heritage. That wouldn’t be so bad on its own, but you are hurtful. You hurt the people around you for the hell of it, or perhaps it’s more than that and you get off on hurting others. I don’t know…It’s like this fury behind your eyes. You’re angry or something, and you have no right to be angry.” She paused.
He frowned at her but didn’t speak.
She continued. “I hate the way you treat women. The way you use and then throw them away like trash, with no respect at all. And then my dear friend has the misfortune to catch your eye. I warned her to stay away from you. I knew you’d hurt her. You did, and now she’s dead. I know you didn’t kill her, but it’s your fault. That’s why I hate you.”
He leaned back, his expression turning contem
plative. “Is there more?”
“Are you a masochist as well as a sadist? Isn’t that enough?”
“It’s enough, I just want it all.”
She threw her hands up. Then she chuckled, the tension breaking inside her. “I hate your face. And your hands. And your body. I hate that you make me want you. I hate the way my body sang with you. I hate that I can’t deny the appeal you have, just the way you look. And I hate that so many women have been with you. It makes me feel tainted.” All the color drained from her face, and she put her hands on her mouth. “I can’t believe I just said all that. Forget it please.”
