‘That’s the kind of detail you get, but it’s only one half of a link,’ Cassy told her, a little shocked by the level of detail Natalya had been able to gather of Freddie’s physical state when they weren’t properly linked or even touching. But then again Natalya was strong in her magic. ‘All you need to do is just do that again and ask him to follow your presence in his mind.’
‘I need to discuss it with him first of course,’ Natalya said. ‘He’s animus, he may not be comfortable with or want something like that.’
‘So ask him,’ Cassy challenged, knowing Natalya feared letting down her guard mentally and that such distrust was unhealthy.
‘Now?’ Natalya gulped, knowing Cassy was watching her closely and hating to feel cowardly. ‘Freddie, can you talk?’ Natalya called mentally, but quietly, trying not to startle him.
‘Natalya? Is everything ok?’ Freddie responded instantly, letting his words sit clearly for her to see.
She felt him halt, explaining in a quick aside to his men why he’d stopped. ‘I’m interrupting your hunting,’ she apologised quickly. ‘We can talk tonight.’
‘I’m listening, tell me now.’
‘Cassy’s here. She said I should ask you if you wanted to link with me,’ Natalya said in an embarrassed rush.
‘Didn’t you tell her you know I do?’ Freddie responded.
‘You mentioned it once when we first met but haven’t suggested it since. You’re animus; it’s not a usual thing. You seemed upset when I touched you that time you were chopping wood.’
‘Natalya, you took me by surprise, but you know how I feel. Unfortunately I am animus, if I could have forged this link I would have tried to already. You keep so much from me. I assumed you hadn’t done it because you didn’t trust me.’
‘I do trust you.’
‘Then tell me how it’s done,’ he urged.
‘Are you sure you want to try this?’ she asked uncertainly.
‘Yes. Tell me.’
‘You’re supposed to reach for my presence in your mind. That’s all I know.’ She felt him immediately act and a warm presence blossomed in her mind for a moment then was gone.
‘I’m coming back,’ he told her. He told his men Natalya needed him and with no further explanation he began running.
‘He’s coming home,’ Natalya told Cassy. ‘He’s growling yet running.’
‘Did he make contact?’ Cassy asked, hearing Natalya’s confusion.
‘Only for a moment. He’s never growled at me before.’
‘Did you put up your shield to block him?’
‘I don’t know,’ Natalya responded uneasily, that thought not having occurred to her. She looked inwardly and groaned miserably; that’s exactly what she’d done to him. She’d heard his message by picking it up from his mind as she usually did. He hadn’t been able to speak directly into her mind. She nodded miserably to Cassy.
‘He’s on his way back?’
‘Yes. I told him he didn’t need to but he ignored me. He’s running, fast,’ she added anxiously wondering how she was going to face him.
‘You’re not trying to tell me he would consider hunting in any way more important to him than this?’ Cassy laughed at such folly.
‘Might I have hurt him shutting him out?’ Natalya asked anxiously.
‘His feelings, certainly. Physically, I don’t know. I hear when you threw Jim out of your mind you actually threw him across the room. You should check on him. Unless you’d rather wait until he limps home?’
Natalya winced at the thought of Freddie limping home alone and she reached for him. ‘Freddie I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,’ she whispered to him. He didn’t respond, his simmering silence enough of a chiding answer. She searched for pain but aside from knowing he was running at great speed, his body was working with the efficient endurance of the wolf. She heard him growl tersely, in answer to Jim’s query, as he passed through the gate, and that, although curious, Jim left his mind. Then she could see him running across the grass.
Cassy noticed Natalya’s intent stare and could now see a man running at astonishing speed across the grass in the distance. Natalya’s hands were shaking. She got up nervously and went inside to return with a glass of water. They both watched the figure until he disappeared from sight as he entered the village. When he reappeared at the foot of the lane he was jogging at a more sedate pace.
‘I’d better leave you some privacy,’ Cassy said. ‘Unless you want me to stay?’
‘No, but thank you,’ Natalya managed to say sincerely. Her attention was focussed on Freddie. She barely noticed Cassy leave. The man walking up the steps to meet her felt almost a stranger. He was staring at her intently. He was breathing quickly and his eyes were bright but otherwise he showed no sign of his sprint. He came closer and she hastily thrust the glass of water towards him. His warm hands closed over hers to take the glass.
‘Thank you, but you’re doing it again,’ he chided.
‘What?’
‘Looking in my mind for what I need. How far did you look?’ he asked with a small smile.
‘Only enough to know you were thirsty,’ she admitted.
‘Pity,’ he responded and drank.
Natalya watched him, wondering what he was referring to. His manner was very sexy. She could see his throat working as he swallowed, tipping his head back to finish all the water. How could that be erotic to see? She had no idea, but it was.
‘Did it never occur to you I might like to know what you want?’ He put the glass down absently. ‘I don’t even know how you really feel about me. I’m getting the impression you only like me because of my wolf.’ He picked up the glass again and went inside to put it in the kitchen. She silently followed him inside, as he’d hoped she would. Now they were finally in private.
‘I didn’t know you felt like that. I thought you liked having me stay here in your home,’ she began unhappily. ‘Do you want me to leave?’
‘No of course I don’t want you to leave,’ he said in exasperation. ‘Natalya I’m in love with you. I want us to be together always. I’d hoped you would learn to love me as much as you do my wolf,’ he added in a small voice.
Natalya stared at him and then reached for his mind, needing to know he meant what he said. She was shocked he thought she only valued his wolf and her heart twisted. She bypassed the more public upper mind and explored how he was really feeling. His mind was whirling with hope she might accept him, mixed with sharp pain at the thought she might be about to reject him. She assessed that and discovered he harboured a deep fear of being put aside in favour of someone more worthy. Another wizard would be able to truly share the wizard world. Jim’s interest in her had sparked this. Freddie was painfully aware Jim had easily beaten him physically; he had no way of fighting off someone as powerful as Jim and it scared him.
Without thinking about it she soothed him mentally. ‘Don’t you know by now I’m not interested in wizards? Now I’ve found you I’m not looking at other men anymore. No one else compares in the slightest.’
Freddie gladly soaked up the reassurance she was sending him; her words lifted his heart. Her mind might still be shielded but her physical body was right here. He took her into his arms and kissed her. It was his only way to express himself to her. Drako had confided that physically getting close and kissing had been the way he’d reached Cassy. Freddie hoped that pointer would work equally for him. In the meantime he relished the opportunity to hold her, kiss her and try his best to tempt her. She gave every indication of enjoying kissing him as much as he did her. Minutes passed and her shield slipped then fell away entirely. He didn’t immediately pounce, waiting to see if she’d put it back up again. He tentatively followed her presence in his mind back to her.
Freddie found himself in an astonishing new place swirling with trepidation, desire and hot passion. He discovered the very odd sensation of feeling how she experienced his kiss. He learned what she preferred and that she liked being held in his a
rms very much. The feel of his strength and hot body pressed against hers was intoxicating her!
‘You’ve found your way into my head then?’
‘Please don’t throw me out,’ he urged quickly. ‘This is wonderful,’ he enthused, feeling they were actually sharing. Being able to send her his words was only half of it; he could also feel her emotions and exceptionally enlightening they were. He glimpsed some childhood memories as well as other more recent and painful memories of her rape and torture at the hands of the wizard. The wizard now had a face, as well as a name. Nathaniel was a blandly featured, heavy set and rather ugly individual. Freddie growled to himself, aware Natalya was silently watching and waiting to see what he would do in the way of riffling through her memories. She was expecting disgust and aversion to set in once he discovered some of the darkly offensive things that she felt had tainted her. He shook his head in dismay and skipped on quickly, hoping his curiosity was not abusing her trust. ‘Sorry love.’ Sharing her mind, he felt her reaction to his words. She felt she didn’t deserve him? She thought him beautiful, courageous and strong? He noticed her amusement that she’d caught him preening at that. Well, it wasn’t every day you learned the one you loved felt that way.
‘I love you; the whole you,’ she whispered in his ear, aware of that question still nagging at him. But it was something that had been hard to admit to herself, let alone him.
‘You do?’ he whispered and held her tight. His nature was wolf; when he gave his love, he entrusted his whole heart. He’d been terrified she might run from such commitment or not return the sentiment, ripping him asunder and leaving him a hollow shell.
‘Come and show me what you mean by love,’ she invited, leading him towards the stairs. His kisses, desire and love, had awakened an urgent need to claim this man. She felt his immediate rush of eagerness having heard her intention and laughed out loud in delight.
He grinned back at her and towed her upstairs where he could prove his love in comfort, privacy and at leisure.
14. An Offer
Natalya woke next morning, stretched and snuggled back against Freddie. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him where he could kiss her more easily. They were soon so involved with each other that the outside world was completely forgotten. The ability to experience what the other was feeling, to know exactly what they needed, was heady. She might have been slightly shocked at some of his erotic thoughts, but there was no denying fulfilling some of them had been exceptionally rewarding. Their passion for each other seemed to know no bounds.
Freddie jumped, swearing, hearing someone knocking on his front door. He went to the window and realised the pack were down there.
‘Are you coming with us today?’ Dustin asked, having heard the window creak. He grinned to see Freddie looking very tousled and that he glanced behind him before answering. Clearly he was not alone in his bedroom.
‘Go my love,’ Natalya urged him; aware he didn’t want to get out of bed. ‘It’s high time I found a teacher and began learning to be useful.’
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather I came with you for that?’
‘Of course I’d rather not face those wizards alone, but it’s time I did. I’m acting cowardly and it grates.’
Freddie understood she needed to face her childhood fears and overcome them herself. It was not something he could do for her and she was right that it was something she needed to just get on and do. He swiftly dressed and tied back his hair. Natalya pulled her dress on swiftly and followed him downstairs.
‘I hope you’ll be wearing more than that when you go up to the school,’ he couldn’t help chiding aware she wore nothing under that dress.
‘Of course, but I shall take a bath before I go. It’s one thing for your men to know what we’ve been up to, but it’s disrespectful to sit indoors unwashed.’
‘I think you smell wonderful,’ he told her.
‘That’s your possessive wolf talking,’ she laughed. Whilst Freddie was gathering his weapons and putting on his boots Natalya opened the front door.
‘Good morning,’ she called cheerfully. ‘He won’t be long.’ She went back in and quickly started pulling food out of the cold room. ‘Freddie hang on, you need to eat.’
‘They’re waiting.’
‘We forgot to eat last night and haven’t had anything yet this morning,’ she told him, knowing her words would be perfectly audible to the men just outside the open door.
Freddie noticed her glance outside and realised the pack all wore broad grins. She tugged him to his chair by the table outside but he resisted sitting down.
‘Do you want to flake out later?’ she asked. ‘I can assure you that won’t impress me.’
He heard not quite muffled sniggers now and realised she was playing to the men as much as him. He relented with as good a grace as he could manage and sat down at the table. She pressed a small kiss to his brow before disappearing back inside. Very quickly she had put bread and cheese before him, hot tea and was then busy wrapping a small bundle which was carefully packed in his belt pouch.
‘Does everyone have snacks for later?’ she asked the patiently waiting men.
‘Don’t worry about us, my lady,’ Dustin responded. ‘We are all perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves,’ he added rather pointedly to Freddie.
‘I am well aware you are all fit capable men Dustin. However, as the only female member of our pack, it is my responsibility to think of the wellbeing of all of you.’
Dustin bowed, ‘I apologise. What you say is true. I did not know your wolf instincts were so pure and clear. We know you are not simply wolf; there are many sides to you. You are indeed our alpha female.’
‘Thank you Dustin,’ she said softly.
Freddie came up behind her and wrapped his arms about her. He knew just how honoured and warm she felt at their acceptance of her, despite being different, into the pack’s close knit family. ‘So now you’ve bested a pack of wolves this morning are you ready to face the wizards?’
‘No, but I shall speak with Jim in a while,’ she told him straightening her shoulders resolutely. ‘Anyway, we’ve dallied long enough this morning,’ she began for his ears alone.
‘No we haven’t,’ Freddie contradicted with a cheeky grin. ‘But I take your point.’ He kissed her more than casually and only reluctantly set her back on her feet. He noticed she had to put an unsteady hand on the table top for support. ‘See you later,’ he called already striding down the steps.
‘I love you,’ she whispered, brushing his mind with warmth and tenderness.
His steps faltered and he glanced back at her wide eyed; well that was better than a simple farewell! Now he really wished he wasn’t going anywhere! Dustin teased him for his so obvious daydreaming and he resolutely turned his attention to business.
Natalya watched them jogging swiftly away and kept a light contact with Freddie. She heard the curious questions the men asked him and his evasive answers. She also heard their congratulations. Then Freddie began to sing, or rather hum a few lines here and there as he ran. That gave the men more cause for laughter and exchanges of bawdy comments at Freddie’s exceptionally good mood. They quietened down passing through the gate, shivering as they were each scanned by Jim.
‘You’re in a good mood this morning,’ even Jim remarked conversationally to Freddie. ‘Is it later than normal?’
‘Thought you might appreciate a lie-in today,’ Freddie said airily. He could feel Jim’s curiosity but also knew his shield was thwarting any prying. That simple instance of being able to retain his privacy before a wizard felt good.
‘That was considerate of you,’ Jim said drily. ‘Good hunting,’ he added, feeling the hunters were through and the gate re-secured behind them.
Natalya disconnected from Freddie and hastened to eat and bathe. Once she felt calm and ready she reached for Jim.
‘Can I speak with you?’ she asked politely.
‘Certainly,’
Jim responded. ‘Now, or in person?’
‘You’re eating so I’ll not intrude. I just wanted to discuss your offer to let me get some schooling. There are clearly things I need to know.’
Jim hadn’t felt her attempt to go into his mind, yet she’d known he was eating. It was clear she had some unusually sensitive perceptions.
‘Come on up to the school, we can talk it over. Breakfast’s nearly over so you could come straight away if you wish,’ he invited.
‘Will do,’ she acknowledged and disconnected from him. She checked on Freddie and felt his happiness that she was thinking about him. But reassured all was well, she left the house to walk up to the school. It felt surprisingly good to be hailed and greeted cheerfully by people in the village. They’d been strangers only a fortnight ago but seemed to have accepted her amongst them. She already felt more at home here than she ever had in the years she’d spent at the lord’s manor.
Stepping into the dining hall she was struck by the noise. The village bustled but was inhabited by animus people who naturally abhorred too much noise because their hearing was so acute. That natural tendency had been honed by years of living in hiding where to make noise equalled risk of being found. The din of the wizard students was therefore shocking.
Everyone was still seated in the dining hall so she stood just inside the door to wait. She now realised part of the excessive noise was that the students on every table were passing their dirty plates down to one end to be stacked. It was thus quicker and easier for the cleaning staff to take away. She watched, noticing that as soon as a table was cleared the students were evidently then allowed to leave. The hall emptied rapidly and then Jim was standing before her.
She followed him down the corridor and into his office. He waved her into a chair and took one opposite. His office was lined with age darkened oak panelling and bookcases, obviously a historical legacy. Jim looked too young and athletic for this room; it seemed better suited to someone of advanced years as most headmasters usually were. Yet there were many signs of a more vibrant personality; the old and the new did seem to rest quite comfortably together. She guiltily returned her attention to him and realised he was silently watching her. It was odd to hear he was her little sister’s partner and that they had a child.
Natalya: Wizards of White Haven Page 15
