by Vicki Green
I held her all night, promisin’ not to leave her, strokin’ my fingers through her hair until I looked down, and she was asleep. I couldn’t help but inhale the scent of her hair. Her smell invaded me and the feel and warmth of her body completely overtook me. I stared up at the ceiling thinkin’ about how I’ve never had this, never cared enough to want it. Feelin’ so comfortable, I finally close my eyes and let the feel of her take me to my dreams.
My eyes open to the darkness. I turn and see it’s three in the morning. My arms are empty, and my heart speeds up. I look over at the bay window and see her sitting there. Her body casted in the glow of the moonlight, her legs up and her arms around them as her chin rests on her knees. I quietly get out of bed and walk over. She doesn’t startle as I sit down across from her. Her eyes are even lighter by the moon as she looks outside.
“I lost my Bandit right before I left to come here. He was such a great dog, a great companion and friend. The best. I miss him.” Relief floods me at her words but so does sadness. She looks at me, no expression on her beautiful face. “You’re reading Delia Shire?” I nod slowly unsure why she’s asking. “Why?”
I shrug not sure why she wants to know. “I normally read the classics but there’s only so many times you can re-read them. I like a good romance but this is so much more. Have you read them?” She nods. “Look. I’m not a girl or anythin’.” Her mouth lifts into a small sad smile. “I just enjoy a good book and these are so well written, so believable. It’s almost like the author is writin’ her own life or parts of it.” She looks back out the window, a shimmer of wetness in her eyes. “Why do you want to know, Shiloh?” Such a strange question for her to ask. Feelin’s of her hidin’ things are overwhelming. She doesn’t answer, doesn’t look back at me. I reach out, putting my hand on hers. She looks at me, sadness fillin’ her lovely face. “Look. I know you don’t trust me. Don’t have any reason to. However, I hope you will at some point. I don’t know how long you’re plannin’ on stayin’ but I really want us to be friends, for you to trust me. I can tell you’re a good person, Shiloh, one I want to be friends with.”
“I want to be friends too. So badly. You have no idea. I really need some friends, people I can trust. I have a very hard time trusting and I wish I could tell you why but I can’t. At least, not yet. Please, be patient with me?” She whispers.
My heart hurts for her. All this time I’ve felt so confident in my life. I’ve had everythin’ I’ve ever wanted, good family and friends, all the women a man could want. Many faceless women. The only trials in my life has been tryin’ to get all the work done on the farm, without a bunch of help. My only hardship is missin’ my parents since they left. I study her face as she turns back to the window. Such sadness. This woman has had things happen to her that I can’t fathom. Of that I’m sure. If she’d only let me in, relieve herself by talkin’ about them to me or someone. There’s somethin’ she’s horrified of, somethin’ she won’t or can’t tell anyone. I feel it deep in my soul. I’d stake my life on it.
“I’ve got nothin’ but patience, Shiloh. I just hope when you’re ready you can feel like you can trust me. I’m a man of my word, wouldn’t tell another soul, even if they try to beat it outta me.” Her head lifts and she turns to me. “I mean it. I would take anythin’ anyone told me to the grave.” She nods slightly. “Uh, I need to tell you that I got an answer for my online ad. Checked my emails after supper. There’s a man comin’ in a couple of days. Name’s Trevor Mackay. Said he works with horses and can help with various other animals and fixin’ things. Will it bother you to have someone else livin’ here? If it does I’ll tell him….”
“No!” Her face lights up, the color back flushin’ across her skin. “Don’t worry about me, Colby. That’s fine. You need the help.” Her smile widens. Odd that she seems leery of everyone but insists that having a strange man comin’ here is okay. I don’t get it. Just makes everythin’ even more mysterious.
“Okay. Good. I’ll answer his email and tell him to come.” She sits up, leanin’ back against the pillows.
“Tell me about you, Colby. Your life.” My eyebrows lower in her sudden change. “Really, I’d like to know you.” Her voice softens. How can I resist that?
We spent the next two hours talkin’ and actually laughin’. I told her everythin’ from when I was little to my time away at school. I left out the part about all the women. She’s too much of a lady to hear all that. Her laughter is sweet, like music, matchin’ her perfect body. She’s like an angel, one I want to know. One I want in my life in any respect. My heart soars with the time we spent. I want to know everythin’ about her, find out why she has such horrible nightmares, what makes her so jumpy. Maybe in time she’ll feel she can tell me. Trust me enough. I hope so.
She spent the day cleanin’, although I’m not sure why. She’d cleaned everythin’ yesterday. I did all the chores I could, still too much for one person. Early evenin’, I went up and took a shower and put on some clean clothes that she’d washed. When I get downstairs, I find her in the kitchen, puttin’ foil around a pan. “What’s that?” She turns and smiles.
“I baked an apple pie. I hope that’s okay? Thought it would be nice to take something with us for them having us over for dinner.” Could she be any sweeter?
I walk over and rest my hand down on the breakfast bar. “That was mighty nice of you. I’m sure they’ll love it.” I check the clock on the wall. “I guess we should head over.” I look back at her and see her stiffen but then relaxes, like she’s givin’ herself a pep talk. “Are you sure you’re okay to go? I can tell….”
“I’m fine. I think it’s time I try to make some friends.” Her smile is back.
I give her a big smile, feelin’ proud of her effort. “Okay, then.” I stick my arm out and she smiles as she puts her arm through, laying her hand down. “My lady.” She picks up the pie that’s restin’ on a folded dish towel, and I take it in my other hand.
We walk outside and I close the door, startin’ to walk. “Don’t you lock your door?” I look down at her and tilt my head. “I mean…. You can’t be too careful.”
“Uh, out here in the country we never lock our doors. Never had a need to, well except for that time at Memphis’…. Never mind.” Her eyes widen, a look of horror in her eyes. “I’ll lock up. If it’ll make you feel better.” I turn, pullin’ my arm from hers, and lock the door then put my hand on her arm. She relaxes again and lets me help her down the porch steps. When we get to the garage and open the door, I walk to the passenger side of my truck and help her inside. I wait until she buckles up then I place her pie on her lap. She smiles up at me and my heart leaps.
She talks about the scenery as I drive. I don’t think she’s ever talked this much since she came here. I love listenin’ to her, hearin’ her describe what she sees and feels about the land. It’s like hearin’ about it for the first time. Makes me like her that much more. It only takes about ten minutes until we pull into Memphis and Sadie’s drive and I park up near the house. I walk around and open her door. She looks past me at the house, lookin’ hesitant. Then her eyes move to me, and she smiles. I reach out my hand, and she places hers in mine. Takin’ the pie from her, I help her down from my truck and shut the door. We walk up the porch steps, and I raise my hand to knock on the door when it swings open quickly.
“Colby!” I release Shiloh’s hand as Sadie throws her arms around me. “So glad you came over!” She moves back and smiles. “You know we don’t get many visitors but you’re family.” She looks over at Shiloh and then walks to her and gives her a hug, which I’m surprised Shiloh accepts. “I’m happy you decided to come.” She steps back and smiles. “Come in. It’s getting chilly.” She opens the door wider, and we walk in. “Memphis is in the kitchen. Go on in.”
I take Shiloh’s arm and lead her to the kitchen. Memphis is sittin’ at the table drinkin’ a beer. He stands as we approach, reachin’ out his hand to me. “Colby. Great to see ya.” I shake his han
d and he pulls me in for a man hug. I laugh as he steps back then he looks at Shiloh. “I’m Memphis. Nice to meet ya.” He holds his hand out to her, and again I’m surprised when she shakes it. Memphis has that way with people though. He’s a kind man, caring, and it shows. “Well, do ya’ll wanna beer or we have some Jack?” I nod and look at Shiloh.
“We also have some white wine I picked up,” Sadie throws in.
My eyebrows raise at Shiloh. “I’d love some wine. Thank you. That sounds really good.” She smiles at Sadie and looks up at me then follows Sadie over to the other side of the breakfast bar. I look back at Memphis and take the beer he hands me, and we sit down at the table.
“Seems nice,” he whispers as he looks over at Shiloh. “Kinda quiet not like Sadie when she first came here.” He chuckles, and I can’t hide mine either. Memories of when Sadie came here flood my mind. She sure was a spitfire thing. She had an unruly attitude, thinkin’ she could get away with anythin’ until everythin’ went crazy around here.
“She is nice. Very nice,” I reply. His brows raise as he cocks his head.
“Hmmm, I think someone is a bit taken with her.” He drinks his beer, givin’ me his cocky grin around the bottle.
“Yeah, well. She’s got some stuff goin’ on. Not sure what. Pretty private and kind of mysterious.” I look over at her. Sadie’s laughing and Shiloh smiles. She seems pretty relaxed but hard to tell with her. “She’s a mystery. That’s for sure.” I look back at him and take a drink then set the bottle down on the table. “Feels odd that I feel this way after only a couple of days. Didn’t you feel things for Sadie pretty early on?” He nods, smilin’ at me. “I dunno. I don’t believe in instant love or any of that shit but somethin’s stirrin’ inside me. Just not sure what it is.” I lean forward afraid that Shiloh will hear us. “Memphis. You know me. Know what my life’s been like. I’ve never been a one woman kind of man but I want to know everythin’ about her, be with her all the time. Maybe I’m sick or somethin’.”
He laughs. I mean full out belly laughs. My eyes snap over to the girls. They’re both starin’ at us. Shiloh’s eyes are wide but there’s a playful smile on her beautiful face.
I look back at Memphis as the girls go back to talkin’. “Shit! Will you quiet down? Sheesh, you’re as bad as Sadie.”
He laughs again then sets his beer down and mimics me leaning on the table. “Look, Colby. We’ve been friends for a long time. I’ve never seen you so taken by a woman. Instant love. Nah. But feelings leadin’ to that, yeah sure. Didn’t take me long to want to get to know Sadie and fallin’ in love didn’t come long after that. It happens when you least expect it. Sounds like you’ve got the bug and wantin’ to know her is a good start. Why do you say she’s mysterious?” He looks over at her. “Seems normal to me.”
I look at them. They’re both laughing now and I can only imagine what Sadie’s fillin’ her head with. “I dunno. Private is one thing. I respect that. But she gets these really bad migraines, seems stressed all the time. She has these horrible nightmares, like she’s livin’ through somethin’ again, and she’s really jumpy.” I look back at him and frown. “There’s somethin’ going on, somethin’ really bad. I can feel it.”
He looks back at me. His brows lower. “Sounds like maybe she needs some help. Maybe we can get her to open up or at least feel like she can. Will be tough. Seems people like her are too scared or can’t seem to relax and be normal. Give her some time. She hasn’t been here that long. Just try to get her to feel comfortable in her new surroundin’s, around the people here. You know what the land does to people, makes them feel like it’s the first time they’ve ever really been home.” He smiles, his words fillin’ my heart with some hope.
I look over at Shiloh and catch her lookin’ at me from the corner of her eye. She quickly looks back at Sadie, takes a sip of her wine and nods. Gonna be a long evenin’ but one I hope will make her feel more comfortable. These are the best people I know. Hope she’ll see that too.
Shiloh
Sadie and Memphis seem so nice, so down to earth. I can tell they’re good people. Colby’s lucky to have them in his life. I wish I could feel comfortable enough to have friends like them. Maybe someday. Dinner was wonderful, the conversation great and relaxing. They told stories about how Sadie came here and I laughed. I mean really laughed, hard. She sounds like someone I’d really love to know. She also sounds like a perfect character for a book. An idea hits me that I must write down as soon as we get back home. Home. I mean Colby’s house. Wow. I almost feel like it could be home.
Memphis also seems like a good man, one that I wouldn’t have thought would be by looking at him. He’s got that rough exterior, manly, but he’s so sweet, like a good ole country man. I find myself relaxing, something I didn’t think possible. No migraine appears at any time, and I actually feel the relief from being so stressed for so long. How can just one night with these people make me feel so calm? My heart fills with something so foreign. Care, joy, happiness, things I haven’t felt since I was little, too young to know what horrific men are out in the world.
“Why don’t we take our coffees out into the living room? I’ll clean up later,” Sadie says as she stands and walks to the coffee pot.
I stand, gathering dirty dishes. “No. I’ll help you clean up. I hate when things are left for later.” I smile. “Why don’t you guys go to the living room? We’ll be there shortly.” Memphis nods and Colby smiles. His smile makes my breath hitch. Different feelings invade me, and my heart begins to speed up.
“Great idea! Here. We’ll be there in a bit. I might just bring you some cherry cheesecake I made earlier to go along with your coffees,” Sadie throws in, bringing over two cups.
“Oh! I brought a homemade apple pie. Do you have ice cream,” I ask her.
“Perfect! We can fill up on sweets. Of course I have ice cream.” She laughs.
The guys stand, laughing at our banter, and take their cups and walk out of the room. I take the dishes over to the counter by the sink and go back to get more. Sadie and I work in silence as we get everything cleaned up. I start loading the dishwasher, glad to have something to busy me. “So. How do you like the country?” I raise, seeing her leaning against the counter with a cup in her hand. I finish and shut the door then pick up the cup of coffee from the counter, take a sip, and mimic her stance.
“I really love it. It grows on you, ya know? So serene, peaceful.”
She laughs. “Well, it is but wasn’t not too long ago. Did Colby tell you what happened?” I shake my head curious to know. “Come on. Let’s sit down at the table, give the men a little bit of time alone.” I follow her and sit down, placing my hands around the warmth of the cup. “Memphis hired this guy, seemed okay at first. Not trying to scare you but he turned out to be a heap of trouble.” My brows raise, my heart beating a little faster. “Seems he wanted to have me as his own but I fell so hard and so fast for Memphis. I was a little, what should I call it? A handful, when I first came here.” She laughs, and I can tell she’s reliving the memories. “Jag really went crazy though, trying to kill me, setting the barn on fire and almost killed Memphis. If Colby hadn’t been there….” She shivers, and my heart goes out to her.
“That’s horrible, Sadie,” I respond as I reach over and touch her hand. An idea forms in my head for another book. I shake my head at the thoughts.
She smiles and looks into my eyes. “Colby’s a good man, Shiloh. He’s sweet, caring, and is really a good friend. Hell, he’s more than a friend, he’s family.”
I pull my hand back, placing it back around the cup. “Family. Sounds so great.”
She leans in. “Look. I know it’s weird being here, not knowing anyone, feeling alone and maybe even a little frightened. I’ve been there. Yeah, I seemed tough when I came here, but I wasn’t. Not really. Just the opposite. I was scared shitless.” My eyes widen with her confession. “Really. Of course, I wouldn’t let anyone know that or see that, but I was. These are good pe
ople. They’d take care of you, fight for you, and would even give their life for you. They did for me. They take care of their own, their friends. You can trust them, Shiloh. You can trust me.”
Those foreign feelings are back in full force. Trust? Never had it except with two people. Fight for me? Could I ever ask anyone to do that, risk their lives? Family? I never really had one except when I was younger, but that was for such a short time, and I barely remember it now. My face scrunches. I have to fight back the urge to touch my side, the hidden scar there reminding me I can’t trust anyone. I only trust two people with my life, but I’ve known them for several years. Is it possible to trust people that you’ve only known for a few days, a few hours? In fiction you can, in the books you write or read. But isn’t that pretend? Make believe? Or can it happen in real life too? My eyes snap back to reality, to her face. “I want to be able to trust. I do. I just….”
“Look. I don’t expect you to be able to trust us after only knowing us in such a short time. But think about it. You won’t know if you don’t take the chance. You just might find that we are good people. People you can trust and actually find friends in.” I nod, giving her a small smile and take a sip of my coffee, dreaming and hoping her words can come true.
The rest of the evening was wonderful. We watched a movie, drinking coffee and eating our delicious sweets. I’m tired by the time we leave. Sadie and Memphis walk us to the door, and I found giving them both a hug came more easily. Colby and I talked and laughed on the way back home then when we got into the house we said our goodnights. He even told me that if I had a nightmare, he’d be upstairs in a flash. So sweet. So kind. I quickly brush my teeth and hair, pulling it into a low ponytail then get on my pajamas and sit down at my favorite spot by the window. I pull up my computer and instant messages pop up immediately.
