by Vicki Green
“I know you’re angry.” Her voice just makes me angrier, tuggin’ my hair harder. I hear her walk up beside me and look from the corner of my eye, not wantin’ to see her completely. Her hand reaches up to touch my arm but then she pulls it back, wrappin’ her arms around her waist. She must be freezing out here with no coat. Must have just taken off, runnin’ after me. “I’m so sorry, Colby. I never meant to hurt you.”
I swing around, facin’ her, my anger takin’ control. “Oh, really? And what did you mean to do, Shiloh, or do I say, Delia? What in the fuck do I call you now?” She blinks. Her head snaps back like I just slapped her across the face. “Looks like Sadie and Trevor already knew,” bursts from my mouth. I take the step, grabbin’ her upper arms and begin shakin’ her. “What? Am I not good enough for you to share your secrets with? Or am I just another fan, another reader, so I shouldn’t be privy to anythin’ in your life? Obviously, you can’t trust me like you can them. What, Shiloh? Which is it?” Anger spews from my mouth, my hands in fists, and my face heated with fury. I expected her to be shocked at my behavior, to be in tears. Instead, even though her eyes are wide, she lets me get it out, takin’ what I give her. Then she surprises me by bringin’ her arms up in between mine, then slammin’ them down against my arms and takes a step even closer, gettin’ right up in my face.
“No! It wasn’t like that! Do you really believe I enjoyed lying to you? Knowing me, do you really think I liked having to keep my secrets?” Her face is beet red as she takes a step back, almost like she’s afraid she’d hit me in her own anger. She’s breathin’ as heavy as I am but my eyes widen when she tugs the bottom of her shirt from her waistband, pulling it up and turning slightly, showing me something that causes my heart to stop. “This is what I have from my life but that’s only on the surface. It doesn’t even come close to the scars I have in my mind. This is superficial even though it reminds me daily of what I’ve gone through. I don’t want anyone I care about to be subjected to his kind of horror. He’s mad and I’m his victim.”
Thunder roars around us and then lightning brightens the sky above. Small sprinkles of rain begin to hit us. “I would have understood, Shiloh,” I whisper. Her chin starts to quiver. “None of it would have mattered to me. Don’t you understand? I care about you. Deeply. I thought I’d shown you that, more than once.”
She walks to me, placing her hand against my damp face. “Don’t you see? I’m not sure I can be with you, with anyone. He’s damaged me more than what you see, Colby. You’ve been reading my books. I’m not a woman anymore. I can’t act like one fully.” Now her tears shine from the lightning that brightens around us. “You deserve better. You deserve a whole woman. One that can love you. One that wants you to touch her and make love to her.” She tries to smile but it’s sad, broken.
My hand covers hers, my brows lower. “I’ve read them but I know that’s not you inside.” My other hand covers her heart, and her eyes close briefly, a few tears spilling over. “What’s in here is the real you. The one that still lives and is still whole. This is the woman I’m fallin’ in love with. This is the person I want to be with, any way she’ll let me. You are who I deserve to be with and you deserve to be happy. Trust me, Shiloh. Believe in me, in us. I’d kill for you. I’d die for you.” She leans up on her toes as her mouth covers mine. Our arms are around each other in a second. I pour everythin’ I can into this one kiss, hopin’ against hope that it will tell her just how I feel. Rain begins to pour down, soakin’ us, but we don’t stop. When I finally pull back, she steps back down onto her feet. I place both my hands on the sides of her face, my thumb rubbing across her soft skin. “Let me help protect you, darlin’. Let me help end this for you. I’m fallin’ so hard for you.” She nods, and her beautiful smile appears. “Come on. I know we have lots to talk about but I need to get you inside and warm.” I put my arm around her, and we begin the walk back.
As we get past the big tree, I stop, pullin’ her around to face me. “One thing I gotta ask before we get there. Who is Trevor to you? Please tell me. I gotta know.” My eyes search hers, my heart beatin’ so fast in anticipation.
She smiles. “I’ve known him most of my life. Colby, he’s like a brother to me and has been trying to protect me since the beginning.” She places her hand on my arm as relief floods me. “Believe me. We’re close like siblings, nothing more.” She leans up, her warm breath in my ear. “And I’m falling fast for you too.” Her smile is so big, fillin’ my heart. I nod, smilin’ back, and take her hand in mine, threadin’ my fingers through hers, and we start walkin’ again.
When we get inside, the warmth makes me shiver. I look down at her and see she’s shiverin’ too. I lean down and kiss her forehead, softly. “Go upstairs and get into somethin’ dry, darlin’. I’ll talk to everyone and then change too and meet you in the livin’ room.” She nods, leanin’ up to find my mouth then I walk with her to the foyer and watch her walk upstairs. Ditto runs up after her. I hear whispers and look in the livin’ room. Everyone’s still here, sittin’ around talkin’. I walk in, and everyone stares at me. Trevor’s the first who stands and walks until he’s right in front of me, his nostrils flarin’ and anger radiatin’ all over his face.
His finger pokes my chest, hard. “You better not have upset her. I mean it. I don’t give a shit if you fire my ass. She’s the best thing in the world. The most considerate, beautiful, loving, caring.…”
I grab his finger and hold onto it. “We’re fine, Trevor. It got to stormin’ outside so we came in. She’s upstairs changin’ and will be down in a minute. I appreciate your concern.” He nods, seemin’ to calm down a bit so I let go of his finger. He walks back over and sits as I look at everyone. “Now. Don’t know how you all feel about this but I think we need a plan. I don’t aim to let her get hurt anymore or any of you. This needs to end.” I watch everyone nod their heads. “Now. I’m goin’ upstairs to get into some dry clothes. You all are welcome to stay but it’s gettin’ late and the rain’s comin’ down harder. And Shiloh and I have some talkin’ to do.”
Sadie walks over to me and kisses my cheek then Memphis comes and shakes my hand. I turn my head and watch them walk to the front door. Mac and Dallis take turns shakin’ my hand, and then they leave. Trevor stands there for a minute and then starts to walk past me. I grasp his arm. He stops and looks at me. “I won’t hurt her. I’d never do anythin’ to hurt her. I’m fallin’ in love with her.” His eyebrows lift but there’s a small smile on his face. “I’ve never known anyone like her and I don’t mean in her books. Her. The real her that I’ve gotten to know.”
“She’s the best,” he responds with a grin.
“Yes. She is. Now we just need to keep her safe.” He nods, and I release his arm. I walk around, turn off all the lights and head upstairs.
Shiloh
I’m shaking as I remove my clothes, dropping them into the tub. They’re soaked and will need to be washed. I turn and face the mirror. For the first time, I look at the reflection of my scar, my finger lightly brushing over it. It’s hideous, something that will always remind me of what I’ve been through. I look up at my face and smile. He’s falling for me. Me. My mouth turns into a bigger smile. My hand covers my heart. I can do this. I can try for him. I know I want to, so badly. But I’m still afraid. “Let him know why it’s so tough for you.” Sadie’s words come into my mind. It will still be hard yet it’s something I must do. I want normal. I want to be whole again. I want him.
I turn off the light and walk to my suitcase, pulling out another long, silky pink camisole. I also take out my light silky robe and put them on. I walk over to the side of my bed and bend down, petting Ditto, who’s already fast asleep, then walk out of my bedroom and down the few steps. I take a left and walk to the end of the hall, opening the door quietly and shutting it behind me. It’s even darker with the storm raging outside so I carefully find my way over to the nightstand and turn the lamp on low. Feelings of nervousness fill me as I slide under th
e covers and sit back against the headboard, looking around the room. The door opens and all tenseness evades me as I look into Colby’s eyes. I can’t describe the look on his face. Love? Tenderness? Reverence? It doesn’t matter. It fills my heart and those familiar butterflies begin to flutter.
He begins removing his shirt as he walks towards me. The muscles I had felt against me showing in abundance. I’ve never seen anyone so in shape, so built. Each muscle so defined. He’s huge compared to my small frame but for some reason it excites me, makes me feel safer when I’m in his arms. I don’t know how he knew I always sleep on my right side or maybe this is the side of the bed he’s used to sleeping on but he’s now standing there in only his boxers.
I smile as I look up into his eyes and lift the covers up, watching his strong muscles flex as he climbs in. He turns to me and just stares. Before, I would have felt uncomfortable, shy and insecure, but now, all I want him to do is kiss me. I’m still not sure I could actually have sex yet, even with him, but I don’t feel as vulnerable or weak as I did before. Like he read my mind, his big hands encase my face. His lips move towards mine as he continues to look into my eyes. It’s like a movie in slow motion until his mouth covers mine. His lips are warm. His tongue pushes against my lips gently, asking for entrance. They part and my tongue begins to tangle with his. My breathing accelerates as our kiss becomes heated, warming me from the inside out.
I feel one of his hands move into my hair, his fingers threading through some long strands as his other hand moves underneath, cupping the back of my neck and pulling me even closer. I moan into his mouth. My hand moves up the soft skin of his chest. Suddenly he stops, his eyes searching mine. He gently removes his hands then grasps my arms and pushes me down onto my back, gently. My panting is almost embarrassingly loud as I await his next move.
His hands move down to the hem of my camisole, his eyes asking permission. I nod slightly, my chest rising and falling rapidly in anticipation. He lifts it up only as far as exposing my ugly scar then begins to trace it with his index finger. I’ve been nervous of anyone seeing it, not even looking myself at its horrifying ugliness. However, now that I’ve shown it to him and the way his eyes look at it so caringly, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. He leans down and kisses it, following it all the way down my side. My eyes fill with tears that I forbid to leave.
He moves his eyes up to mine. They’ve turned to a darkened blue with his desire but also so loving. “You’re so beautiful. You literally take my breath away. My heart skips a beat every time I look at you.” My chin starts to quiver with his words, but I refuse to let one single tear fall even though this time it’s out of happiness instead of grief. He leans so close to my face that I can feel the warmth of his breath on my skin. His lips are swollen from our kiss making them look even more enticing. I raise my head, capturing them, pressing hard. He crushes against mine even harder as he continues to run his finger along my scar. When he moves back a breath and smiles, the butterflies take flight up my body, spreading themselves throughout me. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for, darlin’. I’ll be happy just to hold you in my arms all night.”
My heart has not slowed down a beat. I search his eyes and find only love and desire in them. “Make love to me, Colby. Show me there’s nothing to be afraid of. Help me to be whole again. I want to. For you.”
His finger leaves my side then his hand cups my face. No more words are spoken as his mouth covers mine. His hands move to my panties, which are already thick with wetness from his touch. He pulls them down, his mouth leaving mine as he moves down my body and in between my already open legs.
He climbs off the end of the bed and I move my legs together allowing him to remove my panties completely. My eyes fill with desire, my body tingling already, while I watch him remove his boxers. I feel as if I can hear the thumping of my heart when I look at his hard length and size. He takes it in his hand, stroking it as he continues to look into my eyes. I’ve never seen anything sexier than this, never read anything as hot in any romance novel. I’ve only imagined something like this from books but never thought I would actually see it in real life or feel it.
His eyes begin to smolder as he climbs back onto the bed and in between my legs. He leans forward, pulling my camisole up higher until I rise enough that he can pull it up and over my head. I lay back down and look back into his glazed eyes. I shiver slightly as his eyes scan my body, feeling at ease instead of the dread I thought I would feel.
“So beautiful. Every inch.” His mouth begins to pepper soft kisses from my jaw to my neck as he makes his way down until his lips cover a nipple. His hands splay out on my hips as he sucks then grazes it lightly with his teeth. Those butterflies grow in intensity, the wetness that pooled below now coming out readily. I’ve never felt so much, never was allowed to or wanted to so badly. It’s overwhelming. His hand moves up, kneading my other breast, his thumb sweeping over the peaked nipple as his mouth continues lavishing the other one. My hips buck. My body begins to writhe beneath his. The familiar heat begins down below and starts to escalate in intensity.
Thoughts cloud my mind as memories hit me as this is where I was always stopped from going any further. I look down and concentrate on his actions, brushing those horrible thoughts from my mind and will my body to relax. He looks up at me from under his long lashes, and I see the concern in them. I nod, slightly, trying to let him know that I’m ok and not to stop. He smiles around my nipple then moves down, kissing the skin on my stomach, his body moving down farther allowing him to reach where my ache is the strongest, longing for him to touch.
When his mouth covers my wetness, my hips buck uncontrollably. His hands still them as his mouth sucks, his tongue diving inside me. My head tilts back and presses down into the pillow as I moan loudly into the room. My hands reach down, finding his hair and begins tugging roughly. “God, your taste is more than I could have ever imagined. So wet. Dripping for me.” His mouth moves up, sucking hard on my clit and something I’ve never ever felt before hits me so strongly that my mind fogs. My eyes fill with a haze as my climax fills me.
“Colby…. Oh, God!” I scream, my hands fisting in his hair. He continues to lavish me, making the incredible feelings soar within me, keeping them climbing a bit longer. Before I have a chance to come down from the amazing peak my body has seemed to reach, I look down through my clouded eyes as he moves back up, and I feel his hard cock push inside me. He moves slowly, allowing me to adjust to his size, the feeling of being stretched beyond my capacity overtaking me. He stops, looking into my eyes, concern within them. My mouth turns up into a smile as the haze begins to leave my eyes. His turns into a sexy grin as he leans down and captures my mouth and begins to move again.
“God, Shiloh. I love how you feel, how you’re so wet for me. Your reaction to every move I make.” He looks down at where we’re joined, watching himself pull out to his tip then slides back inside. I follow them and that heated desire begins to swell again. “We fit together like we were made for each other. Do you see that?” His eyes move back to mine. “Do you see how we fit like a puzzle piece finally connecting?” I nod, my heart beating so fast I can feel it pounding against my chest. I’m breathing so hard I’m amazed that he can even speak. “I want you to be mine, all mine. I want to take you where you’ve never been before.”
I reach up and cup his face. His eyes closing with my touch. So beautiful. “You already have,” I whisper.
We begin moving as one, my body matching his every thrust. He fills me completely, and I keep my eyes focused on his as his brows lower in concentration. I feel him grow inside me, pulsating, as he gets closer to his release. My own desire starts to fill me again, and I scream his name. My inner walls tighten around his length, and I try to keep my eyes open as my hands grip his large arms, squeezing them with the intensity of my orgasm. Soon after, his eyes close as his head tilts back slightly, his face contorts into pleasure as I feel him fill me. Suddenly, I wish I ha
d a camera, wanting to capture the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed, knowing I was the cause of his gorgeous face as he cums. His body shakes and shudders. A light sheen of sweat covers his beautiful skin. He opens his eyes and looks down at me, his arms shaking as he tries to hold himself up.
He allows himself to collapse. His elbows hit the mattress on either side of me, his hands grasping my face. His smile takes my breath away then his mouth captures mine as my eyes close. I reopen them and look into his. They’re sparkling with his love, and I feel so complete for the first time in my life. He sweeps his thumb against my skin and into my hair. “I’ve never felt anything so incredible before.” His mouth pecks mine then his turns into his gorgeous smile. His eyes search mine, maybe looking to see if I enjoyed it as much as he did. “Thank you for letting me be your first and hopefully your last.”
Those freaking tears I’ve tried so hard to hold back form in my eyes. I reach up and place my hand on his face, feeling his soft scruff and loving the texture. “Thank you for taking such gentle and loving care of me and giving me something I never thought I’d ever have. It was so much more than I could have ever imagined. So much more special because it was with you.” His head turns and he kisses my hand then looks back at me and smiles.
Coolness hits me when he pulls out from inside me. I watch him as he leaves me and walks into his bathroom. My heart soars again as I look at his firm bottom and hips as he moves. Magnificent. I can’t see what he’s doing, but I hear water running from the sink. He returns, and I get a wonderful view of his sculpted body walking towards me. My eyes close when he leans down, and I feel the warmth of a wash cloth brushing across the area that’s a little sore below. God, that feels amazing. I open my eyes when I feel the coolness of a small breeze and watch him clean himself. Shit that is so fucking sexy.
