It doesn't stop me from rubbing it in his face every chance I get.
The week of Pony Swim is the biggest event in island history. It brings in the most tourists from worldwide, which is pretty amazing, because we're just a little blip on a map.
My family goes a little crazy. We are waterman by trade, and you can imagine the pressure we're under to produce an exponential amount of catch each and every day. We usually go to the boats around three in the morning, hours before the sun rises. By eight, we're back on land making deliveries. Dad and my brother Dane head to the diner to help Alice, Bristol and my sister-in-laws. Brant and West go to the fair to set up the food booths for the day, while Coop and Matt go back out to crab and Oyster. I usually do three to four kayak tours a day before I head home for a nap. The evenings are usually insane. I'm running back and forth, being a run bitch so everyone has what they need.
I can't remember a time when we've been able to actually enjoy the events without having work, but it's worth it. What we make in this week alone is half of our annual income. Sometimes there has been a two hour wait to be seated at the diner.
We don't stop until everyone leaves that next week, and then we celebrate.
With new construction bringing in several new condominiums we're hoping business only increases.
Two days into the big event, I wake in a good mood for a change. We come up with a bountiful catch for the day, and even with enough time for me to not have to rush going to my next job.
I've been riding a bike to get to and from places since the traffic is more heavy and hard to maneuver around. No sooner do I pull up at the kayak tour business when I see someone who stops me dead in my tracks.
Usually I'm bad with names. I meet too many people to be able to remember everyone, but this specific person is unforgettable. She's someone I'll never forget. "Kadence."
"Caleb," she returns with a smile.
I take her in, focusing on any changes I'm able to notice. Her hair is shorter but still long, and she's a darker shade from spending time in the summer sun. To me, she's stunning, just like when we first met. Knots fill my stomach thinking back to the things we did together, and how it took me so long to get her out of my system.
"Are you here for the swim?"
She nods. "Yeah, with my family this time."
"I guess you fell in love with this place like most people tend to do."
"I did, plus my trip was cut short last time so it's nice to be able to come back knowing I have more time."
I point to the kayaks. "You here for a tour, or did you miss me and want to make plans to hook up again tonight?"
Kadence crosses her arms and manufactures a smile that makes my optimism fade. "I'm here for the next two weeks, and hoped we could maybe go somewhere and talk."
"Talk? Is that what we're calling it?" Instinctively, I reach out to touch her arm as a friendly gesture. As soon as my fingertips hit her skin she withdraws. "What's wrong? Did you forget all about my skills?"
It seems like she's stumbling on words. This isn't the same cougar I partied with on the sailboat.
Kadence pulls her phone out and hands it to me. "Put your number in my phone. I'll text you when and where."
I take her phone, putting my name as Sex Machine, then leaving my number. I quickly send a call through and then erase it when the phone vibrates my pocket. Now I have her number too. "There ya go. My services are available twenty-four-seven, just in case you're wondering."
"Ok, thanks." Another fake smile crosses her face. "It was good to see you Caleb. You seem busy so I'm going to go."
I catch her before she’s able to climb on a beach cruiser and peddle away. “Hold up a minute. That’s it? You came here to ask me if we can talk later? Are we pretending we didn’t spend a full night fucking each other a few months ago? Did you want to tell me you’re married or something, and you’re trying to right your wrongs, because I don’t care. It was sex.”
“I know exactly what it was, and no, I’m not married. What happened between us was mutual. I’m here with my parents and they don’t know I’m gone. I’d like to get back before they start looking for me. We’ll talk this week.”
“Talk? I’d prefer something more intimate. Maybe this time you’ll stick around for longer than one night.”
I can’t even believe I’m suggesting it.
“I didn’t come here to hook up. It was probably a mistake the first time to be perfectly honest. I’ve never hooked up with someone I just met before.”
“We’ll it’s not like you can take it back now. Besides, I’m harmless. You don’t have to feel bad about it. It’s our secret. No one ever has to know. If it happens again, they won’t know about that either.”
“Is that how you handle sleeping around? Everyone keeps it a secret?”
This offends me for some reason. I’ve never asked anyone to keep secrets for me. “What? No! Never. I was just trying to help you out.”
“Don’t bother.”
“You know, I thought we had a good time that night we spent together, but it’s obvious it was probably the alcohol. I’m sorry you regret what happened. If you came here to talk, don’t bother calling. I won’t ask to hook up again. I won’t waste your time.”
“It’s not that.” She looks down as if this is difficult. I don’t get it. She wasn’t drunk the whole time we were on the boat. She certainly wasn’t intoxicated that next morning. “Caleb, I live a strict lifestyle. For as long as I can remember I’ve had goals I’ve never taken for granted. I’ve almost reached the end of my journey where all my hard work is over. Hooking up with you was a nice reprieve. I don’t regret it happened. I just…”
Koby comes up behind me and places his hand on my shoulder. “You ready to work, bro?”
“Just a sec. Let me finish this.”
Kadence reaches out and touches my hand. She doesn’t throw herself at me, or seem like she wants me to hug her, but something is off. Why come and see me if I’m someone she wants to forget? “Go ahead and work. I’ll get in touch with you before I leave.”
She turns, but it doesn’t stop me. “Call me later. I’ll make the time to talk, Kadence.” This is unlike me to care about someone I barely know the way I do with her. Something is wrong, and the fact that she’s reaching out to me makes me wonder if she feels like she can’t trust anyone else. I didn’t get much out of her that first night, but I know she wasn’t happy with her friends and said they were really all she had because of her life choices with school and her future. Even though I didn’t understand why she’d go without a social life during the best years, but obviously it’s her choice. “I’m serious.”
She doesn’t reply as I stand there watching her get further away from me again. All those feelings immediately come back to my mind. Things were so good they felt unfinished. I need to know why she has this effect on me and how to make it go away.
Chapter 16
Kadence
My hands are shaking even as they grip the handlebars of the bike I rented. I’m sweating profusely from the heat, but also because my nerves are shot. Holding onto this secret for the past several weeks has caused so much stress. No matter how hard to try to make a decision, something changes my mind.
At first, there was no question. I was getting an abortion and putting this whole ordeal behind me.
Then I stupidly scrolled through my news feed one night before bed and came across photographs of the development of a fetus at ten weeks gestation. It wasn’t just a little peanut that would be absorbed or aborted. It was a living breathing miracle, in the shape of a baby. Just seeing that one picture changed everything for me. There’s no way I could go to a doctor and look them in the eyes knowing I’d be killing something growing inside of me. Once my decision was made, I was sick over thinking I could ever go through with something like that. Everyone has their own opinion, but I had sex with Caleb because I wanted to. We used protection at first, but he ran out after round one and we weren’t
exactly anywhere near a store he could grab more at. In fact, we’d not even discussed the use of protection while it was happening.
Now I’ve seen him again. I’ve been dreading it since I saw the results and knew why I was getting sick every morning. I’ve even been to the doctors to make sure everything was growing and measuring where it should be.
My parents have no idea.
It breaks my heart to hold this type of secret from them, but how am I supposed to look them in the eyes and tell them I’ve failed? It’s hard enough to admit to myself. Knowing I can probably make it one more semester while I’m pregnant, the distant future is going to have to change. It’s a painful reality, but I’m determined to make the best of it. I won’t blame anyone, most especially myself. It happened. I’m going to have a baby, and as much as I’ve considered doing it on my own, I feel obligated to tell Caleb.
I’m studying to be a lawyer. I want to spend my life helping people seek justice for the truth. I can’t live with a secret that big. I won’t be a hypocrite.
I’ve practiced telling him over and over. I need to do it while ensuring him that I’m not asking for help. I don’t expect him to step up to the plate and offer me support or anything else. I’ll manage. I just want him to know he’ll have a child, and that if he wants to be a part of the child’s life in any way, I’ll do my best to make it happen. We don’t have to like each other to co-parent, but I’d feel terrible if I didn’t give him the opportunity to decide for himself.
I didn’t expect my reaction to seeing him again. Everything I wanted to say was forgotten and I was forced to stand there looking dumbfounded. He gives me butterflies in all the right place. It’s a much appreciated distraction just at the wrong time.
Caleb looked happy to see me, which only made matters worse. To complicate the situation, I acted like a moron. Now he thinks I’m a terrible person. He probably won’t even answer when I try to call. This isn’t what I need right now.
Running from the situation isn’t like me. None of this is. All I can do is hope I can fix what I keep screwing up. If not, there’s going to be a lot of angry people, and one little baby who doesn’t deserve the drama.
Because I couldn’t talk to Caleb the way I’d wanted to, I have this urgency to finally come clean with my parents. I’ve been dodging their offers to go to a local winery, because I can’t exactly come up with a good excuse as to why I can’t drink. When I arrive back at the house we’ve rented, Mom and Dad are on the back deck grilling.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him this relaxed, which helps with my nerves.
I sit down at the picnic table near them and prepare for a conversation that's going to change the way they see me.
"How was the bike ride?" Dad asks while placing food on the tray to bring to the table.
"Nice. It's breezy here. I can do with the mosquitoes though. I keep forgetting to spray before I go outside."
"Dad was thinking we could take a pontoon boat tour this afternoon."
"That would be nice."
They keep looking at each other and then back to me. "Honey, Dad and I noticed you've been acting different lately. Is everything okay?"
The tears come out of nowhere. I've been unable to control my emotions for weeks. My stomach turns as I try to conjure enough courage the break their hearts.
I'm wiping them away as I start. "I'm sorry. So much has been going on with me lately. Life is changing and it's just a lot for me to compartmentalize over. I wish this was easier to talk about. God knows I've practiced it dozens of times."
"Is it school?" Dad wants to know. "He doesn't seem too concerned over what I have to say. He's too busy loading up a hotdog bun with condiments."
"Of you're not ready to move to New York we can get you in somewhere else."
"It's not New York. It's school in general. I don't think I'm going to be able to finish, at least not I. The next few years."
"Why? Have you changed your mind about becoming a lawyer?"
How does someone look at their parents and break their hearts? I feel sick to my stomach as my lips part to deliver the news that will devastate them. “I haven’t changed my mind about anything, but I’ve done something and I can’t keep a secret anymore. Coming to the island only reminds me that I can’t keep lying to myself.”
“Honey, what’s wrong? You can tell us anything.” My mom always says that, but in my defense, I’ve never done anything to upset them. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’ve been a good child. I take pride in making them happy.
“When I came here with the girls there was a big falling out.”
“You told us about it,” Dad acknowledges.
I nod. “What I left out is how I spent the last night apart from them. They were being ridiculous, so I went out on my own. I ended up running into someone we’d met earlier in the day.”
Mom cups her face like she’s figured out what I’m trying to tell her. “Oh my god, please don’t say you were attacked.”
“What?” She’s was off, so I have to correct her. “No. No way, Mom. I would have told you immediately. No one hurt me.”
“Was this someone a male?”
“Yes.” Swallowing hard, I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. “I just wanted to unwind. He took me out sailing and one thing led to another.” I can’t admit that the sex was planned before the boat ride. My father would never look at me the same. He’s no prude, but I’m his daughter and it would taint the way he sees me.
“Is that why you wanted us to come here? Have you been in a relationship with someone?”
I wish my mother’s question would ease her worries.
“No. We haven’t been involved since.”
“Do you have feelings for this person?”
Shrugging, I admit, “I don’t really know him enough to determine that.”
“I’m afraid your mother and I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“I’m pregnant. I found out around the fourth of July. Remember when I was sick?”
It’s silent. Neither one of them move. They just stare at me like they’ve seen a ghost.
“Please say something to me. Tell me you don’t hate me. Tell me I can do this; raise a child and be a student. I’m so sorry this happened. I was careless. I just wanted to have fun, and I’m so very sorry.”
Mom looks to Dad. I can tells he wants his advice first. He squints while bearing his gaze into me, as if he’s searching far and wide in his big brain for something reasonable to say to me without implying I’m a major disappointment. While I impatiently wait, I watch him shake his head, pick up the plate of food, and go directly into the house without a single grumble.
When I look to my mom she sadly sobs and run after him, leaving me to sulk alone.
The burden of my secret is out. Now I just have to live with the guilt and move forward. When they don’t return, and I hear them talking indoors, I decide it’s best to give them some much needed time to absorb what this means for my future. Right now, I’m afraid I’ve just damaged the relationships I’ve spent my whole life building. Nothing will ever be the same.
Chapter 17
Caleb
When my phone buzzes I think it’s her. It was the strangest reunion I’ve ever had, but everything she does surprises me. Kadence is back on the island, and I haven’t been able to think straight since I found out.
After doing two back to back kayak tours, I head to the apartment to rest. First I shower and then grab something to eat. While sitting in bed, I flip through my phone and come upon the number I purposely made sure I had. It probably seems desperate, but I want to talk to her. My mind won’t shut off until I know everything she has to say. It’s obviously important if she hunted me down at work.
I get to the send screen and freeze. This isn't me. I don't get desperate, and I sure as hell don't sit around pondering.
Tossing my phone to the side, I fall fast asleep, hoping to hell I get at least a couple of hours in befor
e someone comes in and ruins it.
It was inevitable. I no sooner get comfortable when I hear voices. People are laughing, glass is clanking, and I know rest will have to wait. Scrambling for my phone, I discover there's a message from Kadence. In fact, there's a couple.
The first one is just your average hello.
Then another asks if I can call her.
The third seems sort of desperate.
Since everything out of her mouth is unpredictable, I decide to answer once I figure out who is causing all this racket.
Coop, Evie, and two other chicks are crowded in the small kitchen area. There are brown bags full of booze, and an open pizza box that smells like heaven. I snatch a piece before giving them an accusatory stare. "Looks like there's going to be a party tonight."
"You thinking about hanging around?" Edie asks.
I shrug. "I don't have any other plans if that's what you're asking."
Then I remember the texts from Kadence. "Just give me a minute, I gotta make a call."
Since I'm not going to talk in front of them, I decide to go back in my room. Waiting for her to pick up, I flop down on my mattress prepared to smooth talk her.
"Caleb."
"Is this sexy Kadence?"
Sniffles. That's all I hear.
"What's wrong? Are you crying?"
"I'll be okay. I upset my parents and now I'm out walking around."
"Did you want to have that talk? You could come by my place, depending on where you're at now. We're right off Maddox. I can text you the address."
"Yeah, that would be good. I don't really want to be in public right now."
"I'll be here waiting. Don't worry, I'll have those tears dried in no time."
Pretty sure of myself, I finish off the slice of pizza and brush my teeth, making sure my breath is minty fresh to greet her. This time I won’t let her slip away without having breakfast first. And if she’s staying for more than a couple days, we’re going to hang out again. There hasn’t been many days I’ve gone without thinking about that night we shared. Hell, I jerk off to it because it was so hot. She’s worth driving up north to visit. I know that from just one night.
The Summer Catch (Oyster Cove Series Book 5) Page 7
