“Why wasn’t she in this security level in the first place?”
The laugh was bitter. “We didn’t think anyone would find out who she is. What she is. We never thought . . . I never thought she would be so specifically targeted. We have her hidden behind a code name, so I thought . . .” He shook his head. “I should have seen it. Look at what she’s become. She’s hurting them now, getting in the way of their plans too many times. I should’ve—”
“How compromised is her code name?” Donovan interjected. He didn’t care about regrets, and wasn’t about to forgive screw-ups that almost got those he cared about killed.
“None of the intelligence agencies are seeing it mentioned anywhere. Which seems to confirm that Elijahn was indeed working alone and planned to go after what he finds behind that code name first, rather than immediately exposing it, and this is working to our advantage. Either way, we’re all prepared to block any mention of that name and will continue doing so from now on. Everyone is scrambling to fix this, Agent Pierce. We have all learned our lesson.”
Donovan might have replied to that with the harshness he felt but he stopped himself. The IDSD head of security’s oversight was already taking its toll, and he imagined there would be hell to pay after what had happened that night.
“From now on, her security goes through me,” he said instead. The day he found out who Lara was he had agreed to Scholes’s request that he help protect her, but that had been just between them. So far, formally he had only operated in his capacity as the agent in charge of the investigation into the data center break-in. This wasn’t enough anymore.
“You’re not approved for IDSD . . .” Ericsson’s voice trailed off, and he sighed. “Yes, well, under the circumstances that might just be what happens. If, that is”—he scrutinized Donovan—“you intend to stay close to her.”
Donovan nodded once.
“I’ll start the process. We’ll need to coordinate it with USFID. I’ll need your formal permission and your director’s to transfer your service file to our central security in Brussels and you’ll have to come in for all the formalities protocol dictates.”
“I’ll do what it takes. And in the meantime?”
“In the meantime, I’ll give an interim order for all security procedures related to Lara to go through you. I’ve no doubt Frank will sign off on it.”
Donovan ended the call, and sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. He went to the kitchen and made himself some coffee, the blend Lara liked so much. He stood staring at it, reflecting on how different the night could have turned out, how different this moment might have been. Instead of standing here, making coffee in her kitchen, with her safely asleep upstairs, within his reach, he could have been mourning her. Crushed after she was taken from him, he realized with some astonishment. Somehow, the brief time he’d known her had been enough. He had no idea how it could have happened, but after that night, he wasn’t sure it mattered.
Yes, he was here to stay.
An hour later he had finished with Scholes, White, and Lieutenant Colonel Martinez, who had formally been placed in charge of the IDSD and US forces searching for Elijahn, while his IDSD counterpart coordinated from IDSD Missions. Normally Donovan would have been with them, but his understanding of just how dangerous Elijahn was to Lara made him more valuable here, and the way he had intervened to protect her had convinced everyone he was the right person to be beside her. And so Scholes had asked him to stay with her. But then, Donovan wouldn’t have it any other way.
He went back upstairs. The problem was that with nothing more to do, nothing except wait, he was alone with only his thoughts. And they returned immediately, mercilessly, to the events of that night. Lara had already been debriefed after her preliminary checkup at the medical center, and he was there so he knew what happened. Or most of it. He still had some questions for her. Things he needed to know, to understand. Things he didn’t think she’d told them, that he read in her eyes. And he’d seen enough in his life to know this wasn’t over yet, not for her. What she’d been through would stay with her.
It would stay with him, too.
He reached her bedroom and leaned on the doorway, his eyes on her. He wasn’t used to this, to the way it was with her. He was used to, when he was interested in a woman, knowing it would end even before it began, not letting it go beyond a point, not letting it affect him. But then, he had never been emotionally involved before. Not like this. Never like this. Nor was he used to women resisting him this way, not when the attraction was so evidently mutual. And this one did, from that very first look. Even now. Even as they grew closer, even as what was inevitable was already happening, she seemed to be resisting it, struggling with herself to keep him away.
He wasn’t going to push. This situation she had found herself in was complex, to say the least. But when it was over, he wanted to know more, to understand more about this woman he could not seem to think beyond. Or maybe, he thought, he should, when this was over, simply seduce her. One night, that’s all. One night only. Maybe that would free him. Maybe it would be enough.
Even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew better.
He walked into the bedroom, meaning to go to the window, but stopped at the foot of the bed and looked at her. The sedative had worked well, and her sleep was undisturbed, even as the first light of the day seeped through the window. But there was no peace in her face, not even when she slept. As he watched her she turned to her left side, the side that was most badly hurt, and sighed softly. He tensed, thinking her injuries might be hurting her, but she relaxed, and her breathing eased again. He realized he was holding his breath. He shook his head, astonished at himself, and walked to the window, looked out to the back yard. An agent stood with his back to the house, looking around him. Another walked toward him from the direction of Donovan’s house, but his gait was calm, unhurried. Donovan nodded to himself. He closed the curtains, sending the room into shadows. Then he walked over to the couch in the corner and settled down to watch over her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lara sat comfortably huddled on the living room sofa, a mug of hot soup in her hands. Chicken soup, the ever-reigning healing broth, she thought with some amusement. Rosie, cheerfully humming to herself in the kitchen, had made it for her when she came in that morning. Lara had wanted another cup of coffee, but Donovan had sided with Rosie. And she had to admit the soup was making her feel better. In fact, the aches in her body were dull again. She wondered if Donovan had slipped anything into the soup. Probably did. She didn’t want to be taken care of, didn’t want to let go even for a moment of the stubborn strength that kept her from falling, but he wasn’t asking.
She watched him now with the security techs at the patio doors. He’d been through the entire house with them, bringing security up to the level he wanted it to be. He’d changed his clothes and was dressed somewhat more casually, with trousers and a T-shirt, although they were both black, which she supposed fit the combative mood he’d displayed when he was briefed by the head of her new IDSD protective detail earlier that morning. He was relentless with the guy, still angry, she knew. She might have been angry too, about the fact that Elijahn had gotten to her phone, to her car, so easily, but after all it was she who had purposefully evaded the protective detail in the first place.
She contemplated Donovan. Despite the more casual clothes, he was wearing his gun holster on his belt. She hadn’t seen him without it since he’d come for her the night before. Not even when she woke up that morning and found him asleep on the couch in her bedroom, the only place he would allow himself to catch a couple of hours’ rest, even with the security in place around her. He was watching over her. Keeping her safe.
She wondered if he was also angry at her, at what she’d done. He hadn’t shown anything so far. Nothing but protectiveness toward her. That, and the tenderness, the way he took care of her the night before. And that morning. He’d waited downstairs while she showered, carefully. Her entire bo
dy hurt. She had managed to dress in comfortable slacks, and a sleeveless undershirt she had to put on slowly. She was sitting on the bed, her eyes closed, waiting for a thousand aches to subside, and had opened them to see him standing at the open bedroom door, watching her, the blue in his eyes easily readable. He had come in and sat beside her on the bed, and his eyes had flickered to each and every one of the signs so easily visible on her body that told the tale of the night before. The medical care she had received had been good, and many of the cuts and bruises would disappear in a few days, but at least one of her injuries would take a bit longer. His touch was gentle as he examined her bruised ribs. As he helped her put on a soft cardigan. As his hand lingered on her for a moment longer.
She couldn’t remember the last time a man’s touch felt that way to her.
The day shift of the protective detail assigned to her was already on its way then, and he had arranged for Rosie to come in too, a little later than usual, wanting her to sleep. He didn’t leave her side until the new detail was in position and Rosie was there, and then only to go to his house next door, to change and make sure the protective agents who had made their temporary headquarters there had what they needed.
She hoped he wasn’t angry, knew he should be. Hoped he would understand, that he still trusted her, needed him to know that she trusted him. Knew now, finally, just how much she cared.
And was entirely, completely, and absolutely confused about how that happened.
Donovan glanced her way and saw her watching. He walked over and sat beside her. She looked better. He’d tried to convince her to take a painkiller again earlier, but she refused, even though the bruise hidden under the sweater she wore must have been causing her some pain, as did the other injuries he’d seen when he helped her put it on. She wanted to be alert, she said, in case she was needed to help find those who were after her. But he knew that wasn’t it. Meds could be countered if needed, and the painkiller Dr. Mallory had given him for her would not affect her that way. Which was why he still slipped a dose into her soup.
The simple truth of it, he knew, was that the pain was easier to deal with than the fact that the events of the night before were not quite over. He had finally told her that morning that Elijahn had gotten away, and she wanted to stay alert in case he came after her again. Donovan thought about it, about her being alone out there, with Elijahn and his men so close. About the courage it took to do what she did, how hard it must have been. About her leaving him out of it.
About how quiet she’d been since it happened, withdrawn. She had responded to no one except him and Rosie.
“They seem to be very thorough.” Her voice was quiet.
“They’re good,” he said, throwing a look in the direction she was looking. “And they’re your people, ordered to give the best to their best.”
The wordplay raised an absentminded smile on her face. She kept her eyes on the techs, avoiding his. What happened wasn’t the only thing on her mind. If he’d have touched her just now, he might have felt her heart beat faster. Now that he was here beside her, when around her all was calm, safe for now, and because she was trying hard not to think about Elijahn or the night before, her mind kept returning to something else entirely. She wanted to ask but found she wasn’t sure how, the question was difficult to utter. There were things about the past hours that were hazy, and she wasn’t sure how much of what she remembered was real and how much med-induced. But she needed to know. Wanted to know. Realized that she hoped it was as she remembered. Which was just as disconcerting.
“Lara?”
She turned her eyes to him and then away again, as if magnetized by the work the techs were doing.
He was worried, wanted her to talk to him, not to keep any of it inside. But he got it as soon as she began talking, and smiled. It wasn’t Elijahn on her mind. It was him.
“When you brought me here last night . . .” she said in a hesitant voice.
He nodded. He had wondered how much she remembered.
“I can’t recall clearly, I’m not sure, but . . .”
“I kissed you. Your temple, to be more accurate. Twice, actually. I think you were already asleep the second time.”
She forced herself to control that feeling deep inside her. She needed something it would be easier to deal with. Something . . . friends. Kissing someone on the temple that way showed friendship. Right? Except, what she’d felt from him at his place, the way he was with her, the interest in her he wasn’t really hiding . . . No, she must be wrong. She’d been attacked, injured, of course he would kiss her like that. Okay, no, she wasn’t succeeding in convincing herself. The fact that she was so desperately trying to was indicating something else entirely. That he cared. And that she did, too. God, she wasn’t thinking clearly.
She leaned her head on the back of the sofa and tucked her legs under her. But there was no discomfort in her movement, no careful hiding from him. She looked, he thought, as if she was trying to figure him out. And herself. And them. Mostly though, it seemed to him, herself. He recognized the reaction, he’d seen it in her before. This was complicated for her, and he still had no idea why. But he hadn’t changed his mind, not even close. He intended to break through whatever walls were surrounding her. That, he knew already the night before, in that moment of relief he’d felt as he held her, so alive, when he’d found her as she was being chased by her would-be killers.
“Donovan?”
He tilted his head slightly.
“Aren’t you angry with me?”
“Yes. Very much so. But it can wait.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what? Not trusting me?” He hadn’t intended to do this now, but apparently that was exactly what was going to happen.
“I trust you. And I trust you to keep me safe. But that’s just it. You never would have gone along with what I did.”
“You’re damn right I wouldn’t.”
She shook her head. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. You did what you were brought in to do. You found out it was Elijahn, figured out what he was going to do. Found where he was hiding. You weren’t supposed to be here for me. It wasn’t your job to protect Oracle. Or me.” She sighed. “And you weren’t supposed to care. To get involved.”
“Didn’t work out that way.” The anger in the quiet voice was unmistakable.
“I didn’t know . . .” The words flew out. “When I started setting it up I still thought you were just doing your job, that it wouldn’t matter. And my plan had Elijahn going only after me, and his being stopped, I thought that’s what mattered. Don’t you see? When I realized he wasn’t going to stop, that he was going to get to those around me, I had to do something. And no one was supposed to . . .” She wasn’t doing this right. Oracle was so much easier compared to Lara.
“No one was supposed to what, care? Forget me for a moment. What the hell’s going on inside you that you don’t know how much you mean to people around you? And I’m not talking about what you do as Oracle, Lara. What about Frank? Do you have any idea how much he worries about you? And Donna? She loves you, for Christ’s sake. You should have seen her work on this house, how she thought of everything, how happy she was about it. Do you know how she talks about you? You’re her best friend, she talks about you like you’re her sister! And yes, you know what, there’s me. And don’t tell me you don’t know, because by now you do. And you saw it before last night.”
“Only in your house, that’s when I realized—”
“Then you still had time to reconsider. You should have at least had me there in the car with you.”
“No.”
The way she said it made him stop. His anger dissipated without warning.
She lowered her eyes, concentrated on her hands. “If you would have been in the car with me, most likely Elijahn would have had you shot before he began talking to me. I went through it in my mind a thousand times before I did it. He decides what he wants and goes for it. Everything, every
one else is expendable. You would have been expendable.”
“So you did consider it.”
Yes, she thought. Of course I did. I would have felt safe with you. But she said nothing.
“You should have done it anyway. It’s what I do, Lara, it’s my job. And I can take care of myself, I’m not that easy to kill. You should have let me make the choice.”
“I couldn’t. I can’t. Not again. You would have . . . he could have killed you.” It came out quietly, barely more than a whisper.
He understood now the call she made to him. “When you called me, you didn’t want me to come. I was a way for you to call the IDSD forces.”
She shook her head. “I wanted you to come. I just didn’t want you to . . .”
Die, he understood. So you do care. He watched her. Here she was, admitting that she cared about him, and yet the way she was doing it . . . what was going on here? Not again. That was what she said. Not again. Not again what? What aren’t you telling me, Lara? What happened to you? He was on the verge of asking, even now, even though he had told himself this thing with Elijahn needed to be over before he pushed to know more about her. But then she spoke again.
“But you still came. And if you hadn’t, I would have been—”
“Don’t.” He took her hand in his. He didn’t want her to say it. Himself, to hear it.
She looked at their hands, together. “Does that mean you don’t trust me now?”
“I trust you. Except with keeping yourself safe. Unfortunately, that part seems to be important to me.” He got up and started walking back to the techs.
She watched him walk away, unsure what to say, what to think.
“Come to think of it, while we’re at it.” He came back and squatted down before her, placing himself squarely in her line of sight.
Making sure she would look at him.
“You with me?” He locked his eyes on hers.
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