by Seton, Cora
It wasn't enough.
She knew she would regret this, but she didn't care. She'd wanted this for so long – wanted Jamie for so long, whether he was good for her or not. Whether he'd stay with her or smash her heart to smithereens. With one hand she brushed the ground free of sticks and pinecones, then lay back and pulled him on top of her, kicking off her boots.
“Claire,” he said. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” How had she waited this long? How had she thought she could resist him? Intoxicated by the night, the moon, the ride, the champagne, all she felt was the burning desire that pulsed within her – the desire only he could fulfill.
"You ready to lose our bet right now?" he said.
"That doesn't start until tomorrow."
She fumbled with his jeans and he pushed her hands away, doing the job for her with the ease of long practice.
"You think one time with me is gonna do it for you?" Together they slipped off her dress and she unclasped her bra. Suddenly shy, she waited until Jamie’s calloused hands slid the straps off her shoulders.
“Let me see you,” he said, his voice husky with emotion.
She let it fall, leaned back and watched his face in the moonlight. She saw wonder in his eyes, his own hunger. Then he moved forward and covered her with his lean body. She had no idea if one time would satisfy her for a minute or a lifetime and she didn't care. All she wanted was Jamie. Inside of her. Loving her.
“Protection?” he breathed.
“I’m on the pill.” She let out a ragged moan as his hardness pressed against her core. “Please, Jamie – now.”
He pushed inside her with one strong stroke and she arched back, crying out. Sliding out and pressing back in again they soon found their rhythm and she gripped him, pulling him against her, gasping when her nipples bounced against his chest, matching his pace as his movements lifted her higher and higher, closer….
“Yes. Jamie, yes!” They moved faster, Jamie pumped harder within her and anticipation built until with one final stroke she fell over the edge of desire and cried out again, clinging to Jamie, digging her nails into his skin until she shuddered to a stop, sinking back against the rough ground.
Jamie collapsed on top of her, nuzzling her neck as she stared up at the blaze of stars that covered the sky. She wanted to stay here for all eternity. Wanted to hold her breath and forget everything.
Please don't let this end. Please don't let me think…
Too late.
As her breathing slowed, reality came crashing back, leaving her emptier than she'd been before. Suddenly sober, horror washed through her. Jamie's trick had worked. He'd stuck a stupid ring on her finger and she'd spread her legs. Now Jamie had what he wanted, he'd be on to the next woman before she could blink. Hadn't she learned anything? Now she could never come home again, because there Jamie would be, watching her, laughing at her, swapping tales with the others of how he'd bagged her.
What had she done?
“Ah, Claire,” Jamie said. "Forget the bet. Let's go find that preacher and get married right now."
She lay still while he kissed her cheek, her jaw. An hour ago she’d felt so alone. Now she’d connected – with Jamie. With Storm, too.
With her old life.
And she had to leave it behind again. All of it behind. A wordless agony built within her at the thought of turning her back on it all again. How would she find the strength this time? Fury at her mother, fury at Jamie had kept her at bay before. Now she was just tired. And sad.
And alone.
Tears pricked her eyes as the ring's glitter in the moonlight echoed the stars dotting the sky above her. No matter what words he said to her now, tomorrow morning the joke would be on her. Jamie wasn't capable of staying with one woman. He'd propose tonight, and take it all back tomorrow. Just like Daniel making his empty promises.
She couldn't stand it if she said yes to Jamie and he cast her off.
Meeting his gaze as he slid off her and touched her cheek, she realized she had to stop this right now. She sat up and began to gather her clothes.
“What’s the hurry?” he said, his voice warm and caressing. He looked at his watch. “We still have time. We could go another round.”
“No, we can’t,” she said, fastening her bra and tugging up her panties.
He stilled. “Something wrong?” He stood up, too. God, he was magnificent in the moonlight. Claire ached to toss her clothing to the wind and jump him again.
“This. Us. We can’t do this,” she forced herself to say, turning her back to him as she shrugged into her dress.
“Hell, you’re kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding, Claire.” He stalked around to face her. “This ain’t no one night stand.”
“Yes, it is. I’m sorry – I got carried away.”
“Came to your senses finally is more like it.”
Tugging on her boots, she stalked off toward Storm. Jamie followed. “Hey, we’re not done here.”
“Yes, we are.” She tried to keep going, but he refused to let her, drawing her into an embrace she knew just might be the end of her resolve.
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel something for me. Hell, you’re the one who started this.”
“I shouldn’t have had sex with you. That was wrong.” So wrong. It had pried the lid off the feelings she’d managed to clamp down inside her for months. Suddenly she was blinking back tears for the third time tonight. She was never setting foot on this stupid ranch again. Knowing it was fruitless, she tugged at the ring again. Stuck.
“Well, I’m not sorry,” he said and stepped away. “And I’m holding you to our bargain. You said you’d help me with my house and with the trail rides.”
“Oh, come on,” she said, her voice cracking. She folded her arms across her chest, cold now away from Jamie’s embrace. She just needed to live through the next few hours – see the happy couple off on their honeymoon, clean up a bit, and retire to the room she was occupying in the Big House for the weekend. She could do it – she knew she could.
“No, I'm serious. Unless you’ve turned into the biggest liar west of the Mississippi. You can stand there and tell me you regret making love with me, but I won’t let you go back on your promise to help me out.”
Why wouldn't he let her go? He'd gotten what he'd wanted – did he really need to drag her through the rest of this farce? To prove what? That he held all the cards?
He was right. She was lying to him, but how could she tell him the truth? That she wanted nothing more than to be with him, to chuck everything to the wind – everything – and just make sweet love to him all night long, but she couldn’t – wouldn't – because she couldn’t trust him or any man after what she’d been through. Because she'd been privy to far too many of the practical jokes he and Ethan and his friends played, and she couldn’t stand knowing she was the victim of another one of them.
“Fine, I’ll help you.” Anything to get away from him now. She had to get home before she lost her composure for good. Before she started crying and couldn't ever stop again.
Jamie brushed past her to reach his clothes. He leaned close and spoke into her ear. “And you’ll marry me before we’re through.”
* * * * *
Long past when they’d brought the horses back to the stable, wiped them down and put away their saddles and tack, long past when he’d walked Claire back to the bunkhouse and left her there after kissing her softly despite her stony resistance, Jamie lay awake, sketching their future out in his mind.
Working together to design an interior for his home. Leading guests on trail rides and helping build the guest ranch business. Getting married and having babies….
Things hadn’t gone exactly according to plan today, but he wasn’t entirely dissatisfied.
He’d been with Claire.
He’d made love to her.
Man, oh man. It had been everything he’d dreamed of – and that was only the first time. He had no doubt they could rock the
rafters when they really got down to it. He should have found a way to get her on a horse sooner. She just never made it easy.
All those years grinding through school, working, saving his money. It had all paid off. She wanted him. She wanted to come back to the ranch.
She just didn’t want to admit it yet.
* * * * *
Claire bent over the sink in the bathroom off her old bedroom in the Big House, lathering her hands furiously, her tears mingling with the water running down the drain.
She'd made love to Jamie, and it had felt so good. And now that it was over – well and truly over – she thought her heart would tear in two again. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget the way he'd felt inside her, the way his mouth had trailed kisses down her neck. The way he'd looked into her eyes as ecstasy ripped through her core. Baring herself to him had felt as right as slipping into Chance Creek on a hot summer afternoon.
She loved him.
After all this time and what he'd done, she still loved him.
It wasn't fair – he was playing a game and she was losing her mind. And, damn it, his stupid ring wouldn't come off her finger.
Swiping hot tears away, she flipped open the medicine cabinet doors and searched through the products she'd put there the preceding evening. Hand lotion. Maybe that would do the trick.
She squirted a big dollop on her finger and worked it in. Tugging on the silver band once again, she groaned when it still hung up around her knuckle.
She hated Jamie for doing this to her – reducing her to a sniveling, shaking, furious mess. She had to get the ring off. Had to show him she wasn't buying his tricks. Wouldn't be a victim of his games.
The ring popped off.
Claire half-laughed, half-sobbed as she slid down to sit on the bathroom floor. Cool tile reminded her she was still in her sundress. Her bare feet poked out from under its long skirt.
She studied the ring, a ring she'd be proud to wear under different circumstances – if Jamie really loved her, and if he was capable of sustaining that love. Her finger felt bare without it and she felt empty, too – as if she'd shucked off her connections to her old life on the ranch when she'd taken it off.
In a way that's what she'd done, wasn't it? She was choosing a trip abroad and then life in Billings over trying to build some kind of a new life here on the ranch. She thought about how it might have been to go through with the wedding; working together, having children someday, sharing the property with Ethan and Autumn, being surrounded by all their friends.
Making love to Jamie every night.
She leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes, and a tear slid down her cheek. It was the life she'd dreamed of growing up. The man she'd dreamed of these past two years.
Now it was time to put all of that behind her. Time to cut all her ties to the past and march forward into a new and brilliant future. So why did the thought of purchasing that round-the-world-cruise make her want to cry?
Because she wanted to come home. Needed to come home.
Mom.
If only she was young again and her mother was smoothing her hair back from her face. Once upon a time Aria had loved her. Had kissed away her tears and tucked her in at night.
Mom.
What she would give to go back to those innocent days.
She forced herself back to her feet, put the ring on the counter and washed her hands and face. She couldn't go back, but she wished someone would advise her what to do next. She wanted to stay on the ranch and wanted to spend time with Jamie. The safer choice was to go on her cruise right away.
What would Aria do?
Claire smiled lopsidedly at her reflection in the mirror. Her mother never held back. Whatever she wanted, she went after full-bore.
When tears threatened to fall again, she grabbed the ring, jammed it back on her finger and fled the room.
CHAPTER FOUR
"So, the wedding's on Labor Day?" Rob asked, leaning against the stable door.
"Yep." He hoped. Jamie kept on his inspection of the horses in their stalls.
"Claire really agreed to marry you after all? She looked pretty pissed yesterday."
"Let's just say it's a work in progress. But I'll marry her in the end." He stroked Storm's head, hoping she knew how proud he was of the way she'd stolen Claire's heart. Getting Claire back on a horse was just the first step in making her fall back in love with ranch life. But it was an important step.
"Hmm. I don't know, buddy. I think Claire might be out of your league. I bet she worms her way out of it."
"Oh, yeah?" Jamie straightened, angry that Rob's words reinforced his own doubts. "You want to sweeten that bet we made?"
"Two hundred bucks?" Rob took a pace toward him.
"Five hundred." Jamie met him halfway.
"Whew – high stakes. You sure you can afford it?"
"Can you? I know your Daddy don't pay much allowance." Rob winced and Jamie knew he'd scored a point. It wasn't any secret that Rob still lived at home and received a pittance for the work he did around his father's ranch.
"I can cover it," Rob said, shaking hands, then turning on his heel. "I'll see you around."
* * * * *
Thank goodness, a parking spot.
Claire zipped her Honda Civic close to the curb several blocks from work, grabbed her purse and her briefcase and sprinted for the front door of Ledstrom Designs. In the seven years she’d worked here, she’d never been late before now. She still couldn’t believe she’d slept with Jamie during Ethan's wedding reception – or that she was still wearing his ring and keeping up this farce of an engagement. She didn't want to examine too closely why the ring still graced her finger. Instead, her mind kept filling with memories of her time with Jamie under the stars.
They hadn’t even seen Ethan and Autumn leave for their honeymoon. By the time they got back to the Big House, even the guests had begun to leave. The next morning she felt like a zombie as she put Autumn’s mother, sister and friend Becka back on the plane, then spent the rest of the afternoon setting everything back to rights after the wedding. Thank goodness Jamie hadn’t come around to help. She’d been as jumpy as a cat waiting for him to stroll over the knoll that hid his cabin from the Big House and bunkhouse, but he hadn’t and she was thankful for that. She might not have been able to resist him if he had. Or she might have dropped everything, turned tail, and run.
She wished she could run back into his arms.
A memory surfaced of a sunny day back when they were teenagers when they'd lain on the banks of Chance Creek listening to the water bubble past and talked about their plans for the future. Both of them wanted a rodeo career back then. She'd been teasing him that she'd beat him across the boards.
"Men and women don't even ride in the same events," he said, unperturbed, and she'd felt a flash of something – impatience, interest, and a tug of feeling below the belt she didn't know fully how to interpret in those days. She'd pushed away the sensation, like she always did, telling herself Jamie had nothing on Mack.
Now she realized in a burst of insight she'd picked the man who was out of reach because she wasn't ready for the man within reach. At seventeen she wanted a boyfriend the same way she wanted a fancy dress or pair of earrings – to show off to her friends and decorate herself with. Mack wouldn't touch her, but Jamie sure would have. As much as the idea of that had fascinated her, she simply wasn't ready to see it through.
She was now.
Stifling a groan, she picked up her pace. No – she wouldn't ever sleep with Jamie again, no matter how earth-shattering the experience had been. No matter how he'd made her blood sing and her nerves tingle.
No matter what he said, he didn't feel the same way. He wasn't capable of it. So now she needed to plan a strategy to get through the next six weeks and then go back to living life without Jamie or the ranch.
She wished the prospect didn't make her feel so flat.
Focus. It would be a month a
t least before Autumn and Ethan were ready for paying guests and she needed to fulfill her promise to spend a week helping with trail rides. Meanwhile she'd work on the interior design for Jamie's house while she took steps to shut down Ledstrom Designs. Whenever she had the opportunity she'd take revenge on Jamie.
She had just reached the glass double door entrance to Ledstrom Designs when it opened and a man walked out.
A familiar man.
“Daniel?” A wash of dizziness overtook her, leaving her grasping for something to steady herself. Her fingers raked the faux-stone exterior of the building, scrambling for a handhold. No. It couldn’t be.
“Claire.” He tipped his sunglasses up to the top of his head and stared frankly down at her. “Look at you.” He glanced at his watch. “Late. That’s not the Claire I know.”
She gaped at him. How the hell could Daniel be here? Wasn’t he off on some foreign island sipping Margaritas with that idiot, Edie?
“What are you doing here?”
He grinned, and she fought the urge to slug him. “I’m the owner. Where else would I be?”
“No, you’re not. You left. You…you stole my money!”
“I enjoyed the money you gave me,” he corrected her. “I don’t remember you asking me to pay you back.”
“Of course I did!” She couldn’t believe he had the gall to stand here – right here on the streets of Billings – and pretend he didn’t rob her blind.
“Where’s the proof? Show me the loan agreement.” He shrugged. “As much as I’d like to stay and catch up on old times, I have to go – I’ve got a client meeting in 10 minutes. Since the police never contacted me I’m assuming you never pressed charges. You can try to now, but I wouldn’t if I were you. Waiting a year to file a complaint against me makes you look like the liar, don’t you think?”
He pushed past her, then turned back. “Oh, and I expect your things gone by the time I return. While the cat’s away, the mice will play, I suppose, but now the cat’s back. Your services are no longer necessary.”
