Caroline chewed her lip. In her normal run-of-the-mill existence, there had never been a reason to decide whether a singing stranger should be charged by the police. “How about a warning?”
Donaldson nodded. “He seems harmless enough. Maybe a bit overenthusiastic about the wedding, though.”
Caroline toed the carpet with her bare foot, vaguely wondering if she should start painting her toenails now that there was a man in her life. Her back snapped straight. A man she was mad at. A man she wasn’t talking to. That sort of man didn’t get painted toenails.
Donaldson smiled at her. “He came all the way here from America as soon as he heard about the wedding. Keeps telling me he’s Josh’s biggest fan.”
“That’s what Kathy Bates said right before she chopped off James Caan’s foot in Misery.”
“She didn’t chop off his foot in the movie, she smashed it. You’re thinking about the book, that’s where her character chopped off the guy’s foot.”
Caroline glared at him. Really? That was relevant how? He was totally missing the point.
“Okay,” Donaldson said, as he ran a hand through his short black hair, making it stand on end. He didn’t seem to care. Someone said something through the radio that was strapped to the shoulder of his blue uniform. “This thing is going to get crazier before it settles down. Your wedding is attracting a lot of attention. I know you think you have the town locked down tight, what with the domino boys manning barely legal barriers that I’m turning a blind eye to, but the crazies are still going to slip through.”
Caroline didn’t say anything. What could she say? Her life had become entertainment for everyone she knew.
The police officer sighed. “I’ll talk to Josh. See if we can sort out some security for you. Keep the nutters away until after the wedding.”
“No!” Caroline took a step towards him. “He already arranged something with Lake and I told him I don’t want it.”
Donaldson put his hands on his lean hips and looked down at her. Not quite as tall as Josh, but not far off. He had the whole police demeanour thing going for him, so it was quite intimidating. Caroline rallied all of her skills in dealing with difficult people. “This is my business, not Josh’s. You don’t need to talk to him.”
Officer Donaldson studied her for a moment. “Caroline, if you were my fiancée I’d be seriously cheesed off if someone was harassing you and I didn’t find out.”
“No one was harassing me. It’s just an enthusiastic fan singing in my garden.”
“The garden of a woman alone. In the middle of the night.”
Caroline swallowed hard. “I don’t want to tell Josh.”
He leaned in towards her. “Why?”
She bit her lip.
“Caroline.” His tone said he was running out of patience.
“Fine.” She folded her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “Because I’m not talking to him. I don’t want him to know because I don’t plan to talk to him, or deal with him, until I walk down the aisle. And even then, the only words I plan to say are ‘I do.’ Then I may never talk to him again.”
Donaldson fought a grin as Caroline surged on, her anger winning over her normally icy demeanour.
“He’s annoying. He’s arrogant. He’s bossy. He doesn’t listen to a word I say. He keeps butting in on things that are none of his business. He does what he wants when he wants—without listening to what I tell him. In fact, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t listen to me at all. He certainly doesn’t do what he’s told, and I’ve had enough. So I don’t want you to tell him. Do you hear me, Officer Donaldson?”
She pointed at him then realised she was pointing. Caroline never pointed at people. It was rude. She clasped her hands together tightly but kept up the glare. Damn man was almost as annoying as Josh.
“Yeah, I hear you. You don’t want me to tell him because you’re giving him the silent treatment?”
She straightened her shoulders, and for the first time in her life had to work at being intimidating. “No. I’m explaining the dynamics of our arrangement. He is not in charge.”
She didn’t say that she was in charge. As far as she was concerned, that went without saying.
The police officer threw back his head and laughed. “Fine, Caroline. I’ll let you handle this the way you want.”
She nodded. About time.
He went out the door, shaking his head while chuckling. “This should be fun,” she heard him say before the door shut behind him.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Josh balanced carefully on the planks that were now his hall floor as he made his way to the kitchen for breakfast. It was quiet for a change. Usually the noise was overwhelming. It didn’t sound like a renovation. It sounded like a demolition. Every day the castle looked worse than the day before. There were gaps in the walls, holes in the floors and dust everywhere. But it was the noise more than anything else that was getting to him. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t work. And couldn’t get a minute to himself.
He pushed open the kitchen door and everything got worse. His mum, complete with new hairstyle and clothes, was making coffee for the workmen. There were four of them standing at the counter, each scoffing a freshly baked muffin. His mother was beaming as she fussed over the men. Josh had to blink twice to get his head around it. He hadn’t seen her like that since he was in high school. Back then Josh’s house was the social hub of the neighbourhood, and his mum was the centre.
But it wasn’t the fact she was playing hostess to the men who were destroying his home, and his patience—it was the fact his father was hunched over at the dining room table watching her do it. And if the look on his face said anything, it was that he didn’t like it one bit.
“Coffee, darling?” his mum called to Josh.
“Sure.” He sauntered to the counter.
He heard his dad grunt behind him. A nonverbal comment on Josh taking his mother’s side. His mother pointedly ignored his dad, and the grunt.
“You’ve got to have one of these muffin things.” The foreman waved a muffin at him. “As far as I can tell, they’re a cross between a scone and a fairy cake.”
“You telling me you’ve never had a muffin?” One of the younger guys looked like he’d just heard Santa wasn’t real.
“We don’t do fancy stuff in our house. Unless the missus makes it, or gets it from Morag, we don’t eat it.”
“Muffins aren’t fancy. You can get them in the supermarket.”
The other three men looked at the young apprentice pointedly. His whole head went red. His wide eyes shot to Josh’s mother. “Except your muffins, Mrs. McInnes. These are really fancy.”
His mum took pity on the boy and offered him another. He wasn’t too embarrassed to take one.
She smiled at Josh. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you some breakfast?”
He shook his head. “Had some when I got back from running this morning. Coffee is good enough.”
“Running?” one of the men said. His tone made it clear that Josh may as well have said ballet dancing.
“Yeah.” Josh sipped his coffee.
“Why the hell do you do that, boy?” the foreman asked.
Josh tried not to laugh, but he knew he couldn’t stop his face from twitching. “Keep in shape.”
They all looked at him like he was mad.
“If you want to get fit take up a proper sport—rugby or football. Something men play,” the foreman said. “Only the women run around here, in their wee girly outfits. Please tell me you don’t wear a girly outfit.”
Josh almost choked on his coffee. “No, no girly outfit.”
“To be fair,” one of the other men chimed in, “the women only run because Lake runs and they like following him.”
“That’s true.” They all nodded in agreement.
“And Lake is allowed to run. He’s ex-SAS. He couldn’t be girly even if he tried,” the foreman pointed out—at the same time implying that Josh wasn’t man enough to st
op from being girly.
Josh looked up to see his mother grinning at him with a twinkle in her eye. He grinned back before he went over to join his dad.
“Look at her.” His dad sounded more like a growling lion than a man. “Flirting with all the workmen.”
“She isn’t flirting, she’s being sociable. It’s how she is.”
“Ha! She hasn’t been social for years. Why start now?”
“What do you mean? Mom’s always been the centre of a crowd.”
“Boy, that was before you went to college. Things calmed down when you weren’t trailing that harem of girls everywhere you went.”
“What about her own friends? The old crowd.”
His dad looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s a long way to travel from Atlantic City to Fort Lauderdale just for a barbecue.”
Josh sipped his coffee while he watched his mum. She was in her element, fussing over the men. “You two never joined any groups in Florida?” He suspected he already knew the answer.
“Not my thing.”
“No, but it’s Mom’s thing.” Josh put his mug on the table in front of him and watched his dad. His face was twisted into a disapproving look, but his eyes were hurting. “Maybe that’s your problem right there? Maybe Mom’s been bored?”
His dad’s eyes turned hard. “Are you saying I bore my wife?”
Josh cocked an eyebrow at him. They stared at each other for a minute. “She’s social. You aren’t. Where’s the compromise?”
“I compromise.” His father shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t stop her going out.”
Josh couldn’t believe his ears. The man was a bigger idiot than he thought. “That’s it? That’s your compromise? You really don’t have a clue about women, do you?”
His father sat back in his seat and folded his arms. “More than you, boy. At least I hooked mine the old-fashioned way.”
“By getting her pregnant?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them.
His father’s face turned purple. “If you weren’t my son, we’d be outside right now.”
Josh held up his hands in a peace-making gesture. “Women need finesse. They need romance. They need conversation. And Mom needs a social life. Not just sitting in silence with you all the time. Take her out for a nice dinner. Let her meet people. Give her some romance.”
His father leaned forward. “Is that right?” His voice was a hiss. “Well, if women need romance so bloody bad, how come you’re marrying one that you have an agreement with?”
“That’s different.” Josh folded his arms and frowned.
His dad sat back, triumphant. “You don’t have a bloody clue either.”
They glared at each other.
“Do you two want a muffin?” his mother called over to them.
From the look in her eye, she hadn’t missed a thing that had gone on between them.
“I’m good,” Josh told her.
“If the muffins come with flirting, then I’ll have to decline,” his father said.
And for the first time ever, Josh badly wanted to knock some sense into the man.
The four workmen mumbled something then fled the room. His mother folded her arms over her new pink blouse. “Did I hear you right, Andrew McInnes? Did you accuse me of flirting with those men?”
His father scowled at her. “You heard me.”
“You are an idiot.” His mother read Josh’s mind as she slapped her palms on the counter in front of her.
“I’m just calling it how I see it.” His father sounded pompous.
Josh tried to shuffle away from him in the hope that he wouldn’t be tainted by association. His mother kept glaring at his father, and then she nodded as though deciding on something.
“Josh.” She turned towards him. “We weren’t going to tell you this until after the wedding, but your father and I are getting a divorce.”
Before Josh could speak, his dad growled. “No, we’re not.”
His mum swung back to him. “Yes we are. I filed before we left.”
The air in the room became charged. “You what?”
“We talked about this. We agreed. I filed.”
“We didn’t talk about it.”
“I asked you if that was what you wanted. You didn’t say anything. So I took that as a yes.”
His father jumped to his feet. “You took that as a yes?”
“Calm down,” Josh said to both of them. It was pointless.
“Well.” His mother was so furious, Josh half expected to see lightning bolts coming off her head. “As I keep telling you. I can’t read your mind. If you don’t talk, I have no idea what you think. Or what you want.”
His father thudded a fist on the table in front of him. “I don’t want a bloody divorce.”
“Tough!”
Josh stood up and put up his hands between them. “Maybe we should all take a minute to calm down?”
“I am calm,” his dad bellowed.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Josh told him.
“See”—his mother pointed in the direction of his father—“this is exactly what I’m talking about. I tell you what I want and you ignore me. I ask what you want and I get silence. Give me one good reason why I should stay with you?”
“Because you made a vow, woman. How about that for a reason?”
“I vowed to stick with Andrew McInnes. The man who made me happy. Who made me laugh. Who talked to me and spent time with me and did things with me. That man I would stay with. Unfortunately, he’s long gone and I don’t have a clue who you are.”
She stormed around the counter and headed for the door.
“Come back here,” his father snapped. “We’re not done.”
“As I keep telling you,” his mother said calmly, “I am.” Then she was gone.
Josh watched his father as the anger waned. His eyes flicked between panic and pain. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
Josh took a deep breath. “How about you give her some of the stuff back that she loved when she made those vows? Maybe that’s a good place to start?”
All the fight went out of him. He slumped to the table. “I don’t know what happened. Things used to be good.”
Josh placed a reassuring hand on his dad’s shoulder. “You want her back, don’t you?”
The depth of pain in his father’s eyes made Josh stagger. “She’s the love of my life.”
Josh patted his dad on the back. “Maybe she needs to feel like it?”
He wasn’t sure his dad heard. The man pulled his cold cup of coffee towards him and stared into it. Josh ran a hand over his face as the drilling started. It felt like it was happening in his head. Enough was enough. It was time to deal with Caroline and her “restoration” plans.
He dug his phone out of his back pocket as he walked across the kitchen and scrolled to Caroline’s cell number. He got voicemail. He gritted his teeth. The whir of the circular saw started as he pushed through the kitchen door. He found the community centre number and hit that.
“Community centre, what do you want?” barked the voice in his ear.
“Betty?” Josh stepped out into the hall.
The place actually looked worse than it had done half an hour earlier.
“Is that you, Yank? Caroline’s got me manning the damn phone.”
“Put her on, will you? I need a word.”
Josh waved his hand in front of him to cut through the plaster dust.
“No,” Betty said.
Josh stilled. “Stop screwing around, put Caroline on the phone.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you. And it’s my job to protect her from your stupidity.”
“Did she say that?”
There was a cackle in his ear. “In as many words. She doesn’t want to talk to you, or see you, until the wedding.”
Josh frowned at the phone. “Did she say why?”
“No. She’s got a bug up her bum about something, but s
he isn’t sharing what.”
“I’m coming over,” Josh told her.
“You can come if you like, but she isn’t here.”
Josh stopped with his hand on the door to his office-slash-TV-room. “Where is she?”
“She said she wasn’t telling me, because she knew you’d ask.”
Josh growled and ended the call. Cutting off Betty’s latest bout of hysterical laughter. He entered his office.
“Josh,” the foreman shouted, “don’t go in there—”
Josh stepped into the room as he turned to the old man—and the floor disappeared beneath him.
He felt water hit his knees as his feet sank into mud. The floorboards were now chest level. Four men skidded to a halt beside him.
“I tried to warn you, son. We have a burst pipe. Had to rip up the floor.”
“I can see that. Seeing as I’m eye level with your knees. Now are you going to help me get out of here?”
“Aye.” The foreman started to chuckle. “In a wee minute.”
And then the four of them bent double laughing as Josh waited to be dug out of his hole.
“Josh phoned,” Betty said as Caroline swept into the centre. “He isn’t happy. I like this bodyguard gig. It’s entertaining.”
Caroline pursed her lips. “You are not my bodyguard.”
“Whatever you say, lassie.” Betty dismissed her with a smirk.
“What have you gone and done now?” Archie asked Caroline.
For some reason the domino boys had decided to hole up in Caroline’s office to play their game.
“Why are you lot here?” She put her old brown briefcase on the desk.
Archie cocked his head at Betty. “You left her answering the phones. We’re damage control.”
“Who’s manning the barricades?” There was a sentence Caroline never thought she’d say.
“The Knit Or Die women.”
Caroline wasn’t sure if that was good news or bad. She rubbed her temples.
“They took that life-sized cutout of Lake Benson with them so they would be more intimidating,” Brian said.
Goody Two Shoes (Invertary Book 2) Page 14
