“Take these with just in case your father shows up at his house while we’re there.” he said.
We walked towards my parent’s house.
“Garth.” I said. “Before we go any further we have to discuss the terms under which I’ll be living in your house. There’s no way that I’m going to live with you without paying you rent. I’ll pay you what I was paying my parents to live in their house. Okay?”
“Yes, that’s okay.” Garth said. “It’s not necessary, but if you insist, then we’ll do it that way.”
We arrived at my parent’s house and my mother let us in. We began packing my clothes and the items that I’d bought for my flat into a large cardboard box. I was surprised at how few possessions I actually had.
“Won’t dad be angry at you for letting us into the house?” I asked my mother.
“Probably.” my mother replied. “But knowing that you’re safely out of his clutches will be worth anything that he does to me.”
Just as Garth was about to pick up the box with my possessions in it the front door opened and my father walked into the house. He glared at me.
“I thought I’d find you here, you dirty little slut.” he said and then turned his attention to Garth. “Get out of my house. You’re trespassing and if you’re not out of here in ten seconds I’ll lay charges against you.”
Garth stared at my father defiantly but before he could say anything I put my hand on his arm.
“Wait outside, Garth.” I said. “I can handle this.”
“Are you sure?” Garth asked. “I don’t trust him.”
“I’ll be fine.” I said.
Garth shrugged his shoulders, walked past my father without looking at him and left the house. My father closed the door.
“What’s in that box?” he asked.
“All my things.” I said. “I’m leaving.”
“Oh no, you’re not!” my father shouted. “You’re still under the age of eighteen. You can’t leave this house without my consent and I won’t give it!”
I leant down and picked up the envelope of photographs of my swollen eye. I took out the pictures and handed them to my father.
“If you try and stop me from leaving I’ll lay a charge of assault against you and hand those to the public prosecutor.” I said quietly. “With evidence like that the charge will stick.”
My father stared at the pictures and then looked up at me, his eyes filled with hatred.
“This is blackmail.” he said.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Call it whatever you like.” I said. “But with those pictures as evidence you’ll very likely go to jail.”
As my father stared at me I saw defeat begin to fill his eyes.
“Take your things and get out of my house!” he shouted. “That my own daughter would stoop so low as to blackmail her own father is shocking! Get out of my house, you piece of trash!”
I smiled at my father and I walked past him to the front door. I opened it. Garth looked at me, his eyebrows raised.
“Garth.” I said. “Please come in and help me take away my things.”
Garth stepped into the house, walked past my father and picked up the box with my possessions in it. He turned and walked to the front door, completely ignoring my father who stood glaring at him in silence. I followed Garth, closing the door behind me.
I strongly believed that by living with Garth our relationship would flourish and that the indifference that he had shown towards me would disappear as we got to know each other more intimately. Unfortunately this didn’t happen and I could only imagine that this unresponsiveness stemmed from the abuse that he had suffered as a child and which he had mentioned the first time that we’d made love together. I knew that at one time I had also shown strong signs of indifference to other people but I believed that I was more outgoing in nature than Garth was and I would be able, over time, to hide this trait. I decided to bring up the subject in the hope that it would help the two of us to become closer.
One Sunday morning, as we lay in bed together, I took the plunge and, with considerable trepidation, brought up the subject of our pasts.
“Garth.” I said. “Please don’t think that I’m prying, but when we made love the first time, you told me that you’d been abused by your father as a child. Well, I was also abused as a child and also by my father. That’s why I wasn’t a virgin when we made love. Ever since I first saw you I’ve had this strange affiliation towards you and I think that you’ve had the same feeling towards me. Do you think that our both being abused as children could have brought us together?”
“I’ve never spoken to anyone about what my father did to me when I was a child.” Garth said after a long silence. “It’s too painful and I would prefer to leave the past behind me. But I do agree with you that our coming together wasn’t purely by chance and that it was probably because there’s something in us that attracts the other; something much deeper than simply a physical attraction.”
We lay next to each other in silence. After what Garth had just said about his reluctance to bring up the past, I was scared to take the matter further, but the need to break through Garth’s indifference was too strong.
“Garth.” I said, taking his hand in mine. “Please don’t get angry at what I’m about to say, but I do think that it’s important. I love you very much and I believe that you love me, but I can’t help seeing an indifference in you towards me and I desperately want to remove it.”
“Indifference?” Garth said. “I don’t feel indifferent towards you. That’s nonsense. I love you.”
“One of the effects that my father’s abuse of me had was a feeling of indifference towards the world.” I said. “And I’ve had to fight it every day of my life since. I don’t want to be unresponsive towards people. I would love to be spontaneous with my feelings towards others by feeling their pain and their happiness, just as I feel my own. Do you also feel that way?”
“I’ve never given it any thought.” Garth said. “But I don’t believe that I’m indifferent towards the world. Sure, I often get impatient with people especially when they over-react emotionally but I’m definitely not indifferent.”
“I know that I’ve built a wall around myself ever since I was abused.” I said. “And I really struggle to breach it. Sometimes I do but most times I don’t. Are you aware of having built some kind of protective wall around yourself to keep out any further pain?”
“Again, I’ve never thought about it.” Garth said. “But I don’t think that, if I have built a wall around myself, it’s any different from the walls that everyone builds around themselves. We all want to protect ourselves from something. Anyway, as I said, I don’t want to discuss my childhood and what effect it’s had on me. Let’s get up and go to McDonald’s for breakfast.”
Garth climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. I heard him turn on the shower. I stared up at the ceiling. Breaking down the protective walls that I’d built around myself was a huge task that I sometimes thought was beyond my capabilities, but I was determined never to give up trying, just as I was determined never to allow my past to destroy my future. And I desperately wanted the same for Garth. But how could I achieve this if I couldn’t even heal myself?
As we sat in the McDonald’s restaurant waiting for our breakfast to be served, I could see that Garth was unhappy about my attempt to bring up his past.
“So, Mister Gilmore.” I said, trying to break the tension between us. “Have you got any ideas about what kind of business you want to start? There must be lots of possibilities.”
Garth glanced at me.
“You’re right. There are a lot of possibilities; and that’s the problem.” he said. “There are so many things about starting each different business that I don’t know anything about. Each business has its own problems. I don’t know where to start.”
“Isn’t there anything on the internet that could help you?” I asked.
Garth’s eyebrows rose.
/>
“I hadn’t thought of that.” he said. “When we get home I’ll Google “starting your own business”. But there’s also the possibility of buying into a franchise. It’s very expensive but you’re virtually guaranteed to succeed. All the training and business knowledge is included in the price.”
“If you don’t have enough money, won’t the bank help you with finance?” I asked.
“Not before I’m eighteen.” Garth said. “Anyway, maybe I’ll strike it rich on the horses and then I won’t have to go to them.”
“Have you made any money betting on the horses?” I asked.
“A little.” Garth said. But, by the way his eyes wouldn’t meet mine as he said that, I knew that he wasn’t being truthful.
Although I was now living with Garth I knew that I had no right to interfere in his personal affairs and that if I tried to do so, he would undoubtedly be very angry and possibly even tell me to leave the house. It was becoming more and more obvious every day that he was under a great deal of pressure and I could only think that the cause was money. Garth had told me that, apart from the house, he had also inherited “a nice sum of money”. If that was the case then he shouldn’t be having financial problems. Unless he was wasting the money on his horse racing habit. But, even if this was the case, I knew that it was none of my business and that I shouldn’t try to interfere. The following day though, the truth about why Garth was so uptight surfaced.
I had got back to the house from work and found Garth in his study sitting in front of his computer studying the race card for the coming Wednesday’s race meeting.
“Would you like a beer?” I asked after I had kissed him.
“That would be nice.” Garth replied without looking up from the computer’s screen.
I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were no beers. I went back to the study.
“There aren’t any beers.” I said. “Can I get you something else?”
“Damn!” Garth said. “I meant to get beers this morning. I’ll go and get some now.”
Garth left the house and I went to the kitchen to prepare our supper. Shortly after I’d gathered all the ingredients for the meal I heard a knock at the front door. I went to the lounge and looked through the window. A middle-aged woman stood waiting on the veranda with a large file folder in her hand. I opened the front door.
“Hello.” the woman said. “I’m Misses Phillips from the Child Welfare Department. Is Garth Gilmore in?”
“No.” I replied. “He’s gone to the supermarket to buy something. He won’t be long. Can I help you? I’m Garth’s girlfriend, Cindy Bedford. Please come in. Garth should be here any moment now.”
Misses Phillips walked into the house. I closed the front door and we went into the lounge. Misses Phillips sat down on one of the chairs.
“Can I get you some tea or coffee?” I asked.
“No thanks.” Misses Phillips said.
Just then I saw Garth coming up the short garden path carrying a six-pack of beer. He climbed the steps onto the veranda and opened the front door. As he walked into the house he saw Misses Phillips. I was surprised to see the look of shock and fear that quickly spread across his face. He closed the front door and put the beer down on the hall table. By the time he walked into the lounge his face was expressionless. He glanced at the file folder in Misses Phillips’ hand.
“Hello, Misses Phillips.” he said. “What brings you here today?”
“Hello, Garth.” Misses Phillips replied. “Sit down. We need to talk about something.”
“I’ll go and put the beers in the fridge and start making supper.” I said.
“No.” Garth said. “You might as well stay here and listen to what Misses Phillips has come to talk to me about. I have a feeling that it’s going to affect both of us.”
Garth sat down on the couch and I sat next to him.
“Garth.” Misses Phillips said. “The manager at the bank asked me to come and see him this morning. He showed me a statement of your investment account. The original amount was just over sixty thousand Rand but there is now only just over fifteen thousand Rand in it. He also showed me the letter that he’d received from the Department. I’ve checked with the Department and no such letter was ever authorised.”
I glanced at Garth. He was staring down at the carpet in front of him.
“Garth.” Misses Phillips said. “That letter is a forgery. You’ve committed fraud and fraud is a criminal offence. Did you know that?”
“But it’s my money. I inherited it.” Garth said. “Why can’t I spend it if I want to?”
“Because you’re under the age of eighteen and it’s the Department’s responsibility to see that you don’t waste your money.” Misses Phillips said. “What did you do with the forty five thousand?”
Garth continued to stare at the carpet. In the silence I could hear a dog barking in the neighbour’s yard.
“I used it to gamble at the casino and on the horses.” Garth said sulkily.
I saw Misses Phillips shake her head in amazement.
“Now you can see why we didn’t want you to have access to the investment account.” she said. “Unfortunately there’s nothing that can be done about the money now. It’s gone. But the Department cannot ignore the fraudulent letter that you sent to the bank and their lawyers are preparing to lay a charge of fraud against you.”
I saw Garth’s head jerk up and he stared at Misses Phillips.
“I’m not a lawyer so I can’t say what will happen if the matter goes to court.” Misses Phillips said. “But fraud is a serious crime even when it’s committed by a juvenile.”
Garth shrugged his shoulders and I saw an expression of defiance settle on his face.
“I don’t care.” Garth said. “It’s my money and I should be allowed to do with it as I please.”
Misses Phillips stood up.
“Your daily limit on your credit card has been changed back to one hundred and fifty Rand.” she said. “And any transaction involving your investment account has to be approved by me. And, as far as the fraudulent letter’s concerned, showing some remorse would be a good idea. If the authorities see that you regret what you did they’ll be more inclined to be lenient towards you.”
“I don’t think that I did anything wrong.” Garth said. “I still maintain that it’s my money and you shouldn’t be allowed to prevent me from spending it on anything that I want to.”
“We’ll have to wait and see what the authorities decide to do.” Misses Phillips said as she walked to the front door. She opened it, stepped out onto the veranda and turned and closed the door.
In the silence that followed we could hear Misses Phillips walk to the front gate and let herself out. A short while latter we heard he car door slam, the engine burst into life and she drove away.
“I’ll go and make supper.” I said. “Can I bring you a beer?”
Garth was staring down at the carpet again. He nodded.
I took a beer to Garth and then busied myself cooking our supper. Garth came into the kitchen and dropped his empty beer can into the rubbish bin. He went to the fridge and took out two beers. He opened them and handed one to me.
“Thanks.” I said as I began to dish up the stew onto our plates. “Come on, my friend.” I said. “Let’s eat.”
We sat down at the table.
“I suppose you think I’m a bloody fool for losing all that money.” Garth said.
“As you said to Misses Phillips; it’s your money and you should be allowed to spend it as you wish.” I said. “I wonder what would have happened if you’d won a lot of money instead of losing it. Would it still have been wrong to have taken the money?”
“Good question.” Garth said. “But we’ll never know the answer; will we?”
We continued to eat in silence.
“So what are you going to do?” I asked. “Get a job?”
“I suppose I’ll have to.” Garth said. “But doing what, I just don’t kno
w.”
“Shall I speak to the manager at Checkers?” I asked. “Mister Botha has been very good to me and maybe he can help.”
“Okay.” Garth said. “Although I can’t imagine what kind of work I could do there.”
"Maybe some kind of supervisory job.” I said.
Later that night I lay in bed next to Garth as he tossed and turned in his sleep and I realised that I had fallen deeply in love with him and I knew that I would do anything to help him make a success of his life. Once again though, that familiar feeling of helplessness filled my body as I realised how formidable a task that would be. Both of us were still so young and inexperienced and the world out there was so uncaring and harsh. We didn’t seem to have a chance.
CHAPTER 8
Once again Cindy was asked to step down from the witness stand and I took her place.
“Garth.” Paul Greave addressed me after I’d sat down. “What did you do after your attempt to access the investment account was uncovered?”
I inhaled deeply and sighed.
***
I now no longer had a decision to make. It had been made for me when my scheme to access the investment account was uncovered. If I wanted money to gamble with and live an easy life now, I had to relieve Mister Eksteen of his takings while he was on his way to the bank. One of the major races in the country, the annual Charity Mile over 1600 metres at Turfontein, was scheduled to be run in three week’s time and Mister Eksteen was sure to take in a very large amount of cash that day. This gave me plenty of time to plan how I would take the money and escape without using violence and without being identified.
I began to follow Mister Eksteen every time he took his takings to the bank, sometimes walking in front of him and watching his reflection in the shop windows and at other times walking casually behind him. I varied the clothes that I wore and even took the lenses out of a pair of Aunt Rose’s reading glasses and wore the frames to disguise myself.
Broken Page 14
