“Have you had to deal with that?”
“I’ve been luckier than some women in the fire service. Back in my early days, I had a group of wives petition to have me transferred because they didn’t like me spending so much time with their husbands. I was in the process of moving to a new city, anyway, so nothing came of it. And there was an older guy who refused to go out on a call if I was along because he said women couldn’t fight fires and he didn’t have time to take care of me. In that case, he was transitioned into a desk job, but I believe he had other infractions going on his record about the same time. Overall, men have treated me with varying degrees of acceptance in their companies, but I haven’t had many out-and-out jerks.”
“I had some concerns in the beginning,” he said. “My initial reaction was what if she can’t pull her weight? Or what if one of the guys refuses to work with her or she wants her own bathroom all to herself or somebody says something stupid or tells a joke that gets us slapped with a sexual harassment suit. But your record speaks for itself and, like you said, there’s a good group of guys here.”
“I appreciate you giving me a chance to prove myself.”
“Speaking of this being a good group of guys, I’m going to jump the gun and give you a heads-up before you get the official notification. You’ll be with Ladder Company 41, effective immediately upon Danny Walsh’s return to duty.”
Ladder 41. She closed her eyes for a moment, visualizing the map of stations in her head. It was on the western fringe of the city, maybe twenty minutes away on a decent traffic day, in an affluent neighborhood. More single-family homes, office buildings and upscale shopping, which probably meant fewer fires and more medical calls. It would be an adjustment.
Jamie gave herself a few seconds to process the information and her emotional response to it. She thought she’d managed to keep the fact this was temporary in the back of her mind the entire time she’d been with E-59, but the knot of emotion in her throat and gut told her she hadn’t done a very good job of it, after all. And it wasn’t only Scott. She’d really felt at home not only with the entire engine company, but the ladder company, too.
“You won’t be filling in,” Cobb said. “Their LT is moving out of state for family reasons and the district chief wants you. The timing’s perfect, too. I’m guessing you heard that there’s no reason Walsh shouldn’t be able to resume his duties on the twentieth,” Cobb continued.
“I’m sure everybody will be glad to have him back,” she said, her voice sounding a little hoarse to her own ears. Only two more weeks and she’d have to say goodbye.
“They will. But that doesn’t mean any of us want to see you go.”
“I understand.” She was afraid she was going to cry, and she focused on keeping her back straight and her eyes dry. “Thank you for letting me know.”
“They’re decent guys, too. I think you’ll be a good fit there.”
“I’ve met some of them, sir, and I don’t anticipate any problems.” And if there were any, she’d deal with them. Being the new “guy” was a situation she’d had a lot of experience with.
“I’ll leave it to you whether you want to share the news or not,” he said.
“I will when it’s a little closer to the date. After the wedding, maybe.” She wanted some time to come to grips with the transfer before she was presented with the feelings of all of the other guys. And Scott. She couldn’t imagine not working with him anymore, and it was going to take a lot of self-control to keep her emotions in check when she told him she had a transfer date.
Cobb stood, so she did the same, and then he extended his hand. “I stayed awake in the training seminars long enough to know I’m not allowed to hug you.”
When she walked out of his office, Jamie felt the first stirrings of a headache and decided a cup of coffee was in order. She climbed the stairs to the third floor rather than going back to her office, with its single-cup brewer, because she felt restless. If she went and sat at her desk, she’d probably do more brooding than she did work.
She wasn’t surprised when, after the few guys hanging around the television waved at her, Scott got up and followed her into the kitchen. There was nobody else in there, so he stood close while she grabbed her mug and made herself a coffee.
“Is everything okay?” he asked. She nodded, but didn’t volunteer any more information. “Was it about me? About us, I mean?”
She didn’t really want to talk about it here, but he looked so worried, she didn’t have the heart to put it off. Part of it, at least. “Some gossip got back to Cobb from another house.”
“Shit.” He leaned against the wall and ran his hands over his hair. “How bad is it?”
“Not bad. He’s not concerned about us doing our jobs, but he wanted me to know it was out there.”
“Does it bother you?”
“Of course it bothers me.” She took a sip of her coffee and wished she’d grabbed some ibuprofen from her desk before coming up. “But we already talked about that. I knew it might happen and I’m okay with it.”
“Was that it? He just wanted you to know there’s talk?”
She didn’t want to lie to him, but she also didn’t want to tell him her transfer was in place yet. Not until she’d settled her own feelings about it, and not until they were alone and there wasn’t a chance one of the other guys could walk in at any second.
“Mostly. And some administrative stuff,” she hedged.
He snorted. “Bureaucracy is one of the reasons I’m not in any hurry to take the lieutenant exam. I might be like Eriksson. Show up, do my job and go home until it’s time to retire.”
“I’ve seen your paperwork, so I’ll thank you on behalf of everybody who won’t have to deal with extra piles of it in the future.”
He leaned close, chuckling, and she knew from his body language that if they were anywhere else, he’d grab her and they’d tussle until they ended up kissing. “You’re a pretty funny lady, ma’am. We should talk more about my paperwork inadequacies later, when we have more privacy.”
She should admonish him for not only the suggestive words, but the way his voice dropped into that low, sexy range that made her toes curl. Instead, she just gave him a stern look and then took her coffee into the TV room before he could say anything else that might tempt her into doing something stupid.
Especially when she was feeling vulnerable because, unless Scott’s vision of his future had drastically changed, the clock was now undeniably ticking on the time they had left together.
* * *
“HOW ARE THINGS going with that woman of yours?”
Scott set the clipboard bearing Lydia and Ashley’s lists on a shelf and pulled the wheeled cart closer. “What woman of mine?”
Tommy gave him a look that let Scott know exactly what he thought of the evasion. “I’m a lot of things, son, and perfect definitely ain’t one of them. But stupid or blind, I’m not. And I’m not deaf, either. You know as well as I do that the firefighting community is like a small town unto itself, no matter how big the city is.”
“Unless my best friend’s seeing my sister. Then everybody has better things to talk about.”
“Don’t go dragging that shit up the night before their wedding just because you don’t want to talk about what’s going on with you.”
“I’m not dragging anything up. You know I’m happy for them and I wouldn’t have agreed to be Aidan’s best man if I still had a problem with him. I’m just sick of the way everybody protected him and Lydia but aren’t shy about running their mouths about me and... I’m just sick of it.”
“Maybe people were afraid that temper of yours would destroy your friendship and maybe even your family.”
Scott grabbed a box off the shelf and set it on the cart with a thump. “Maybe they should be that concerned about a woman’s career, t
oo.”
He could feel his mood going sideways on him, and he tried to rein it in. They were doing the prep work for the wedding tomorrow, which meant he and his old man were going to be stuck in the storage room together for a while. He didn’t want to butt heads with him the entire time they were getting ready for a celebration.
When he reached for another box, Tommy reached out a hand to stop him. “We’re supposed to check each box off the list.”
“Shit.” He looked at the end of the box for the label and then picked up the checklist. “These are the coasters.”
Once Tommy had accepted the bar would be hosting his daughter’s wedding and that his beloved pool table would be used as a buffet, he’d thrown himself into making sure it would be special. And he’d started with special coasters listing Aidan’s and Lydia’s names, along with the date. There were also napkins and plates for the buffet, along with a variety of other things.
“What exactly are you doing in here?” he asked his dad. “I’m doing the boxes and the checklist.”
“I’m supervising.”
Scott laughed. “Yeah, my ass you are. You do the checklist.”
They were supposed to be consolidating the wedding supplies Tommy had ordered on the cart so the staff could set up the place before the wedding. The bar would be closed, but the staff would work and they’d be getting double time. Karen Shea, an emergency room nurse who filled in now and then on a part-time basis, would be working behind the bar. Scott had wondered how that would work, since she and Rick Gullotti had once dated. But Jessica, Rick’s fiancée, had met her and didn’t mind at all, according to Lydia.
“Seriously, son, how are things with you? I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about you over the years, and you’ve seemed different the last few weeks. More settled. Happy, even.”
“Happy maybe, but not more settled.”
Especially over the last week. Something had been different since Jamie’s meeting with Cobb the week before, but he couldn’t put his finger on a reason. He kept telling himself it was simply a matter of the gossip bothering her a little more than she’d anticipated it would, but his gut told him there was more to it.
“Ashley told me Danny’s recovery is going well and he shouldn’t be out much longer.”
“That’s what I hear. It’s good news.”
“Is it?”
He looked at his dad, scowling. “Of course it is. Jesus, he’s my brother-in-law. He’s my friend. Of course I want him recovered and back on the job.”
“Does Jamie know where she’s going yet?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked her.”
“How come?”
Because he didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to think about what was going to happen when Danny returned and she left the company. He didn’t want to think about her moving away and not being around anymore. “If she wants me to know, she’ll tell me.”
His father gave him a long look he couldn’t quite decipher, and then slowly shook his head. “That’s a good way to go about it, if you want to end up old and alone like me.”
There was no way in hell Scott wanted that. If he did, he wouldn’t have taken a break from dating in the first place. He would have just kept on having company when he felt like it and being alone when that’s what he was in the mood for.
“What if a guy doesn’t want to end up alone raising kids because their mother got killed on the job?”
Tommy slid a crate over and sat down on it, gesturing for Scott to do the same. He regretted asking the question, if it was going to lead to a lecture. But the question was one he’d been thinking about a lot lately. Was there any sense in trying to extend his relationship with Jamie past her departure from the company if it was doomed to end in failure, anyway?
“Son, you’re talking to a man who was left to raise kids alone. I certainly don’t have to tell you I screwed it up nine ways to Sunday, but you all made it to adulthood and you’re all doing well in life, if I do say so myself.”
“But Mom died from breast cancer. It wasn’t a choice she made.”
“No, it wasn’t.” His dad sighed. “I don’t know that a well-trained, smart firefighter is that much more at risk on the job than she would be doing anything else, to be honest. It’s dangerous, sure, but not enough to miss out on a good life together.”
“It’s hard,” Scott said in a low voice. “Growing up without a mom. Not having her anymore still hurts in so many ways even though it’s been almost twenty years.”
“I know it’s hard. I miss her, too. But look at the bigger picture, son. Lydia’s getting married tomorrow. Ashley’s having a baby. This life your mother and I made together goes on and it’s still a beautiful thing, even though she’s not here with us. The thought of missing out on all this because of fear of the what-ifs is sad as hell.”
Maybe his old man was right, but Scott knew it was a lot more complicated than him coming to grips with Jamie’s job. He knew as well as his dad did that they did everything possible to minimize the risk every time that alarm sounded.
Mostly he was hung up on the fact she hadn’t talked about the future with him. If she knew where she was going to be transferred, she hadn’t told him. And she hadn’t talked about Danny’s return or how she felt about that with him. He could only assume it was because she didn’t see any of that being particularly relevant to their relationship because it was coming to an end along with her time at Engine Company 59.
The last thing he wanted to do was make things messy by throwing his feelings into the mix. He was still trying to sort through them himself, and he didn’t want to ruin the time they had left together by making things awkward.
“Maybe after the wedding’s behind us,” he told his dad. “I want to enjoy Aidan and Lydia’s wedding and then I’ll talk to her about her transfer.”
“And you’ll tell her how you feel about her.”
Scott shrugged and got up, picking up the clipboard to give himself something to focus on besides the fear that knotted up in his gut at the thought of telling Jamie he didn’t want to give her up when Danny came back, transfer be damned.
“Yeah. After the wedding.”
THIRTEEN
JAMIE LOOKED AT herself in the mirror and decided what she saw in the reflection was as good as it was going to get. Even though she didn’t have a full-length mirror in the apartment and could only see herself from the waist up in the mirror over the bathroom sink, she thought she looked pretty damn good tonight.
Despite Ashley’s declaration that the neckline required jewelry, Jamie wasn’t wearing any with the dress. Maybe the neckline demanded it, whatever that meant, but she’d never been a fan of necklaces. She’d put the small diamond studs her dad had bought her when she graduated from high school in her ears and that was as fancy as she got.
Her hair looked good, too. Because she wore it in a French braid to work and often threw it in a ponytail, she wasn’t in the habit of styling it, and she didn’t really have a knack for it. But she’d gotten lucky today and it was smooth and shiny, hanging slightly past her shoulders. Makeup was another thing she was woefully out of practice with, but she managed to do up her face without getting lipstick on her teeth or poking herself in the eye with the mascara wand. That was a huge win in her book.
The shoes were an issue, and after much deliberation, she’d decided to take a cab to the bar. It wouldn’t cost much, and would pay for itself in saving her the hassle of finding a place to park. Walking was out of the question. She’d be lucky if she could walk across the bar without falling on her face, never mind walking to the bar.
When the cab pulled up in front of Kincaid’s Pub, she was surprised to see a few people waiting on the sidewalk. She paid the driver, watching the line slowly move inside. Hopefully it would move a little faster, she thought as she
got out of the cab. It was a little chillier than she’d anticipated and nobody liked to ruin a good look with a hoodie.
The reason for the line became obvious as she stepped into the doorway. Aidan and Scott were greeting people as they entered, and there were a lot of hugs and words being exchanged.
“Hey, Jamie,” Aidan said when it was her turn, and she was glad to see he was positively beaming. No nerves or cold feet for this guy. He was unabashedly happy and excited tonight. “Thanks for coming.”
She hugged him quickly, finding it a little awkward because her subconscious was always monitoring her interactions with the guys she worked with and hugging didn’t usually happen. “Thanks for inviting me.”
When she moved on to Scott, her subconscious perked up again, in an entirely different way. Him, she liked touching and she had to remind herself before stepping into his embrace that they were surrounded by people. A quick in and out, and she couldn’t let her breasts make contact with his chest.
“It’s good to see you,” he murmured against her ear, holding her for a few seconds longer than was probably appropriate.
She shivered and made sure a polite smile was fixed on her face before pulling back. “You guys look sharp in your suits.”
“My sisters have good taste.” He swept her body with a look that was not even in the neighborhood of polite, and while his expression didn’t change, she didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched for a second or the very slight flush of heat over his face. “That dress is... I like the... Damn, woman, you are going to kill me tonight.”
Very aware that Aidan and the guest he was welcoming behind her were wrapping up their chitchat, Jamie just smiled. “Like you said, your sisters have good taste. They made me buy it.”
“I’ll thank them later.”
She would have liked nothing more than to stand there and talk to Scott for the rest of the night, but there were still people arriving and she didn’t want to hold up the line. After looking around, she walked to Rick Gullotti, who was standing with Jeff and Chris, along with two women Jamie assumed were their wives.
Fully Ignited (Boston Fire #3) Page 17
