“Yeah, that’s what he told us.”
“Scott.” He didn’t respond right away, and then he jumped when he felt her hand on his back. “Hey.”
All he could think about was how glad he was that he’d put off taking his dad’s advice to tell Jamie how he felt about her. While he’d been falling in love with her and trying to wrap his mind around how their future would look together, she’d known the details of her departure and hadn’t even bothered to tell him.
At least he’d be spared the embarrassment of having his feelings rejected. The pain would be bad enough. He didn’t need humiliation piled on top of it.
After making sure his expression wouldn’t reveal any of his emotional turmoil, he shifted on the bed so he could see her. “We’ll miss you around the station.”
He could tell by her eyes that the words had hit their target and she hadn’t missed the far less personal we. “I’ll miss you...all, too.”
“It’s not time to say goodbye yet,” he said, as much for himself as for her. “I’m going to make coffee and then we can figure out what we want to do about breakfast.”
She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “That sounds like a plan.”
Scott was brewing the first cup when he heard her get up and go into the bathroom. Blowing out a long, slow breath, he leaned his hip against the counter and tried to get his head on straight.
He could end it today, he thought. The door was open to a hey, it’s been fun but you need to focus on moving on talk. Sure, they still had a couple of shifts left to work together, but their relationship hadn’t been a factor on the job up to this point, anyway.
But the idea made him almost physically ill and he knew he wouldn’t be able to say the words. Not today, anyway. Even after the double whammy of the ex-girlfriend comment last night and learning she hadn’t told him about her transfer this morning, he wasn’t ready.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready, actually. But he knew the moment wasn’t now, so he’d keep on going the way they had been and hope she didn’t see the truth in his eyes.
* * *
JAMIE SAT DOWN at her table, tucking one leg under herself, and opened her laptop. She hated sitting in the kitchen chair when she talked to her mom, but the alternative was standing at the counter. She’d learned the hard way curling up with her laptop on the couch led to some unflattering camera angles.
She poked around Facebook until she got the text from her mom that she was ready whenever Jamie was. After taking a sip of her coffee, she initiated a video chat. And when her mom’s face appeared on the screen, she smiled. The Rutherford household had a desktop with a large monitor that her mom had angled so it was flattering, but she was fussing with her hair when it went live.
“You look beautiful, Mom. As always.”
“Oh, hi, honey.” She leaned forward, peering at her monitor. “You look a little tired.”
Jamie smiled because she knew her mom said it out of concern and not criticism. “Restless night, I guess.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Probably something I ate.” She didn’t like lying to her mother, but the truth would worry her a lot more than thinking her daughter ate something too rich before going to bed.
She’d screwed up by not telling Scott about the transfer right away. He hadn’t said anything, but his mood had changed and she didn’t think it was the transfer itself. They’d both known that was going to happen.
After far too much time tossing and turning, alone in her bed last night, she’d decided it had to be the timing. She’d wanted to wait until after the wedding to start the process of saying goodbye, but because of their relationship, she should have confided in him the day she found out where she was going.
Their relationship. She wished she knew what that meant.
“Jamie?” Her mom’s voice broke into her thoughts. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She forced herself to sit up and look chipper. “So when do you think I should come home?”
“Is it that young man you’ve been seeing?”
“We’re not really seeing each other.” Jamie sighed. She really didn’t want to try to explain Scott to her mother.
“You told me you’d gone on a date. But I heard a man laughing once while I was on the phone with you, and assumed he was watching television. And when you sent me a picture of how you organized those baskets in your living room, there was a hockey stick leaned up against the wall. Since you can’t ice-skate or roller-skate, I assume it wasn’t yours.”
“And yet you didn’t ask.”
“You’re my private one, sweetie, and you talk when you’re ready. I took for granted you’d tell me if it got serious.” Jamie looked away, taking a sip of her coffee, and she heard her mom sigh. “Uh-oh.”
Looking into her mug, Jamie mimicked the sound. “So I kind of love him, I think.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.”
She looked at the screen, knowing she was about to disappoint her mom. “Not really. We’re not...it’s not. Dammit. We work together, so it’s awkward.”
She wasn’t surprised when her mother’s eyebrows shot up. She knew how her daughter felt—or had felt—about becoming involved with fellow firefighters. “He’s in your company?”
“Yeah.”
“How does he feel about you?”
She shrugged one shoulder, leaning back in the chair as she untucked her leg before it went to sleep. “We have a good time together, but that’s it. And I’m leaving anyway, so it’s a moot point.”
“Your text said you’d be working in a different part of the city, but that you’re not giving up your apartment. Maybe not working together will be a good thing.”
“We’re not really marriage compatible. We kind of have different views of raising a family, I guess.”
“Because of your job?”
Jamie nodded. “Yeah. Plus, it was always kind of meant to be temporary. It wouldn’t be fair to spring something more on him at this point.”
Her mom pointed a finger at her computer’s camera, which made Jamie smile. “It wouldn’t be fair to you to walk away from a man you kind of love, you think just because coming to a compromise might be hard work.”
“I know he likes me, Mom. We like being together.”
“You should tell him how you feel, Jamie.”
She nodded, though the thought made her stomach hurt. “I should. But I should wait until I’m done at that station in case things get awkward. I don’t want it to spill over into work.”
Her mom narrowed her eyes. “You mean you want to wait until after this casual thing of yours should be over because then if he calls you or stops by, you’ll take it as a sign he might want it to continue.”
She chuckled, not bothering to deny it. “Maybe. But also because I don’t want things to be messy at work. Now, when do you think is a good time for me to visit? I’d like to wait until at least July so I’m settled in at the new station before I take a couple of tours off.”
As she hoped, the prospect of nailing down details distracted her mom from Jamie’s kind of love life. She looked down, frowning, and she knew her mom had her planner open on the desk.
“I think Tori’s planning a family vacation the week after July Fourth, so maybe later in July? Let me look.”
While her mother looked at the calendar on which she tracked four households in two states, Jamie drank her coffee and thought about what her mother had said. While she was serious about not wanting to take the chance of souring their relationship while they still worked together, her mom knew her better than anybody and she probably wasn’t wrong about waiting to see if Scott wanted to keep seeing her once she’d transferred.
Maybe working beside her for weeks had changed his mind about her job being too ris
ky for a mother. It was one thing to imagine a woman rushing into a burning building when she had kids at home. But he knew her. He knew she was damn good at her job.
“Maybe the third week of July?”
Jamie pulled up the calendar on her phone to see if she had anything scheduled for then, though she was sure she didn’t. It was time to give her mom her full attention and put Scott out of her head. They had two more tours together and then they’d see if the end of her time at Engine Company 59 was also the end of their time together.
SIXTEEN
“YOU LOOK TIRED, HUNT. Maybe you should go take a nap and catch up on sleep.”
Scott laughed at the ribbing Jeff was giving Aidan. They’d been at it most of the day, giving the newlywed a hard time about everything from looking sleep deprived to trying to get him to do an air management test with his SCBA and tank now that he was dragging around a ball and chain.
Jamie laughed, too, and he tried hard not to look at her. She was sitting in one of the chairs, a book in her lap, but he hadn’t seen her actually turn a page for at least fifteen minutes.
They hadn’t seen each other since he left her place the morning after the wedding, and they’d seemed okay then. Yesterday, he’d gotten sucked into doing errands and chores for his old man, and she’d promised her mom they’d do a video chat to talk about when would be a good time for Jamie to go home for a visit. Other than a few text messages, they hadn’t spoken until they arrived for their tour today.
She’d smiled and said good-morning, as she always did, and they’d gone about their usual routine. He also noticed that none of the guys acted any differently toward her or made remarks about her relationship with him, which was good. He knew she’d been worried about that, no matter how much Rick had assured her it wouldn’t be an issue.
So everything was the same. And yet everything was different. Because now he knew when she was leaving and where she was going. And he also knew she hadn’t cared enough to share the information with him. He was just a guy she was killing time and having a good time with.
Just like he’d offered to be.
Tossing the magazine he’d been flipping through onto the coffee table, he stood and headed for the weight room. He couldn’t stand sitting around anymore while his mind ran in circles. He might not be able to stop thinking about Jamie, but he could wear out his body.
He wasn’t surprised when Aidan followed him in. Besides the fact the poor guy probably wanted a break from the teasing, they usually spotted each other. Aidan kicked the door closed behind them and hit the button to turn the radio on.
Scott grabbed a pair of gloves from the shelf and walked over to the heavy bag because he felt more like hitting something than lifting weights. Aidan positioned himself on the other side of it, ready to hold it for him.
“You’re not going to knock me on my ass, are you?” he asked, peering around the black bag.
“Only if you’re weak.”
Aidan laughed. “That’s it. Make it my fault you’re in a bad mood and want to beat the shit out of something.”
“Who says I’m in a bad mood?” He’d gone out of his way to make sure he didn’t act any differently today than he did any other day.
“You might be able to bullshit them, but you can’t bullshit me.”
Scott fidgeted with the closure on the left glove until it was as tight as he liked it, and then shoved his right hand into the glove. Then he held it out to Aidan so he could fasten it for him. “Jamie’s going to Ladder 41. The end of this week when Danny comes back.”
Aidan nodded, pressing the Velcro down to secure it. “That’s pretty quick.”
“I guess, although we knew from day one she’d transfer out of here. She’s temporary.”
Aidan couldn’t have looked more serious if he’d been at a funeral. “Is she?”
“Is she what?”
“Temporary.”
Scott growled and hit the bag. “I just said she was. She was just filling in for Danny.”
“What about you guys? She’s not temporary to you, is she?”
He hit with the left, getting into a rhythm of solid jabs to warm up. “Did Lydia tell you why Jamie wasn’t in the pictures?”
“Yeah, she did. But how does she know your feelings about the relationship have changed if you don’t tell her?”
He threw some hooks, mixing it up a little. The blows were hard enough so Aidan had to brace himself to avoid getting knocked around on the other side. “Who says they have?”
“Seriously, why do you even try to bullshit me? I know you, Scotty.”
Scott was winding up to take a swing at the bag that just might knock Aidan back against the wall when the alarm sounded. He ripped off the gloves and tossed them aside as they ran for the door.
“Three-story, multifamily residence. Juveniles reported trapped on third floor.”
Shit. They went for the pole. It was rarely used anymore because it wasn’t the safest way to get to the ground floor, but every second counted.
He barely paused long enough to shove his feet into his boots and pull up the bibs. The coat and helmet he took with him and he ran around the truck to climb into the cab. Firing the engine, he immediately hit the sirens so by the time the rest of the company was on board, he was ready to roll and—hopefully—drivers and pedestrians on the street had ample warning to get the hell out of the way.
The second E-59’s nose cleared the door enough for Jamie to see and tell him he was clear, he hit the gas pedal hard. Usually he noticed her reactions to corners and his aggressive way of getting through intersections, but today he had no attention to spare.
He brushed a car, parked illegally too close to a corner. “Fuck.”
Jamie pulled out her phone, but didn’t make a call as they approached another intersection. Once she’d let him know the side street was clear, she slipped it back into its pouch. They’d report the damage and drown in the paperwork later.
They pulled up in front of the address, both drivers having to lay on the horns to get the idiot bystanders out of the way. There was plenty of flame and smoke for them to capture on their cell phones, but they needed to do it from well across the street.
The guys were spilling out before the trucks even stopped and he pulled his coat on as he climbed down. The ladder company was busting ass getting their landing pads down so they could raise the ladder, and he joined his guys, who were pulling out the line. Jeff had the spanner wrench to open the hydrant.
“Are there any adults up there with the kids?” he yelled to Jamie.
She shook her head. “They don’t think so. Latchkey kids, home alone. Oldest is ten.”
“Shit. Any visual confirmation?”
“No. The neighbors are sure they’re in there, though.”
Probably hiding. Maybe under the beds or maybe in a closet. Best-case scenario, they were all together and as soon as the ladder was up, a shout would have the oldest guiding them to the window.
“Fire started on the first floor. Cigarette and oxygen tank.” Jamie cast a quick glance around to make sure they were ready. “All right. We need to keep those flames down until they get those kids out.”
As they moved onto the porch, ready to blast the first floor with water, Scott registered movement on the ladder. Gavin was on his way up, scrambling toward the window. He could hear the crowd across the street, shouting pleas for them to find the kids. Sirens blaring as more police officers and fire companies and the EMS arrived. The incident command SUV skidding to a stop.
He was about to step from chaos into hell, and as he always did when it looked like things might get rough, he sent up a quick and silent prayer to his guardian angel.
Okay, Mom. I need you to watch my back. He grabbed on to the line behind Aidan and tapped his shoulder to tell him
to go. And today watch out for Jamie, too, okay?
* * *
JAMIE HIT AIDAN’S shoulder to get his attention because either it was too loud for him to hear her or her radio was cutting in and out. She hadn’t taken the time to figure out which. “We need to get up to the second floor. Flames in the back and they don’t have the kids yet. Another company’s at the rear, but they don’t have a good angle.”
He nodded, and they moved toward the stairs at the front. She hated moving floors before the fire was contained to at least a minimum degree, but they had guys on the third floor. Since she knew they wouldn’t retreat without finding the children, they had to do everything they could to keep the fire from breaching that floor for as long as possible.
She didn’t know if the entire building was decorated in cheap synthetic fabrics or if there were chemicals they didn’t know about, but the smoke was thick and dark. It played hell on visibility, but they got the line to the second floor and turned the water on the flames. If they could beat it down from this direction while the other companies attacked it from the rear, they might be able to keep it from spreading any further.
Static crackled in her ear and she wanted to shake her head to clear it. Something was definitely wrong with her radio and it was an extremely shitty time to have a malfunction. Gullotti’s voice came through in pieces, though.
They had the oldest and middle children. The toddler had been down for a nap and by the time they realized what was happening and went to find her, she’d already hidden. While the flames hadn’t reached them yet, smoke had, and they’d gotten disoriented. They were being treated and the L-37 was going to have to do a room-by-room sweep, looking in every nook and cranny until they found the little girl.
“We have to keep this contained,” she shouted, and her crew acknowledged.
She lost track of how long they worked, beating back the flames only to have them jump or reflame. It wasn’t exactly a hoarding situation, but the apartment was full enough to offer plenty of fuel for the fire while hampering their movements.
Fully Ignited (Boston Fire #3) Page 20
