“Aye, he’s your Sinclair,” Adlin retaliated. “Or you wouldn’t have been down in the dungeon with him the moment you arrived.”
Her eyes cut to Adlin. “I want him out of there now.”
“Which brings us to my very reason for bringing you up here.”
Iosbail didn’t like the sound of that.
Her brother’s eyes watched hers closely as he said, “Innis only ever wanted a stronger affiliation with the MacLomains. He wishes land and connection to our clan.”
“The brute!” Iosbail rolled her eyes. “And I suppose you intend to give it to him.”
“Nay.” Adlin shrugged. “Unless of course you want the Sinclair freed.”
“Ech.” She shook her head. “The swine would want a piece of what you worked so hard to gain even though he resides over such a powerful piece of Scotland, a beautiful run of islands unlike any I’ve seen.”
Her brother smiled. “So you’ve a love for the Hebrides then?”
“I’ve a love for all things Scotland.” Iosbail cast a suspicious glance in his direction. “No more. No less.”
“Have you a love for the Sinclair?”
Iosbail swallowed hard. “Nay! What has he to do with the Hebrides?”
“Everything. If you walk away from your marriage to him and marry Innis, the Hebrides Laird will consider the MacLeon’s, MacLomain’s and Sinclair’s stout allies.”
It felt like the floor fell from beneath her and she held the railing tighter, digging in her nails. “That’s insanity. We are cousins.”
“Separated by centuries.”
“But not by blood!”
“It matters little.”
“It matters much. Our children could be stillborn or cursed. ‘Tis wrong and even you know it.”
“Innis has offered no other bargain. This is the only way to find a truce.”
“I’d think you would’ve already been at battle with him brother but no, instead you cow down and imprison a good man. What have you become, Adlin?”
Only when he said nothing did it slowly occur to her that her brother had well laid intentions. “You want the alliance. At my expense, you want it!”
“You never wanted to be married to the Sinclair to begin with,” Adlin argued. “He was a means to an end.”
“And I was wrong,” she said before thinking. Or had she been thinking?
“So you love him then?”
“I never said that.”
“If you love him say so and I’ll send Innis away. We’ll be done with this, all ties lost.”
Iosbail hadn’t expected that. Her eyes searched Adlin’s. “If I said I loved Alexander you’d walk down to the hall now and tell Innis to leave, fight him if need be?”
Adlin didn’t hesitate. “I would.”
Strong emotions coursed through her as she looked into her brother’s eyes. He meant it. Politics aside, he meant it.
“Do you love him, Iosbail?” Adlin repeated.
Did she? That she even asked herself such a question bothered her. Men had always proven less than what she hoped or somehow not quite what she needed. So many had come and gone. The very idea that one might have come along and made her see things differently hurt in a whole new way. One she didn’t quite understand. The Sinclair was different than most but was he different than all? And if he was, would it last? In her experience nothing ever lasted.
Fear made her cross her arms over her chest to protect her heart.
“Well?” Adlin prodded gently.
“He hates me,” she said softly.
“He hates your deceit, nothing more.”
Her body warmed, her heartbeat increased. What she wouldn’t do to erase the way he’d looked at her down in the dungeon, to erase the heartbreak.
“He’ll never be able to forgive me,” she murmured.
“You already forgave him for killing your friend whether or not he did. What makes you think he willnae do the same for you?”
Naturally Adlin’s magic had allowed him to witness everything in the dungeon.
But it mattered naught. Only Alexander did.
Had she forgiven him for possibly murdering Nigell? Aye, she did mainly because she didn’t think he did it. But beyond that, she’d forgiven his kin for the terrible deed because Alexander didn’t deserve to be attached to it. Even with all that aside, could the Sinclair ever truly forgive her for seducing King William?
Fear made her shake her head. “I dinnae think there’s much to save betwixt the Sinclair and I.”
Adlin said nothing as the first few drops of rain fell. After a long stretch of silence he said, “’Twill be a great shame if you hide from true love.”
Iosbail was released from heavy thoughts for a moment and gave a small smile. “Perhaps I am not ready to start aging quite yet.”
“What say you?”
It’d be a rare thing that she could enlighten Adlin first about something but she chose not to. Her brother had yet to meet Mildred, the lass he spoke of when she’d traveled forward in time. Though he might be aware of the magic that made them age once they met their true love, he had yet to experience it.
For now she had bigger things to dwell upon. Her journey since Nigell had died had been long and her vengeance now an intricate part of her that would take time to release.
This was her chance for logic and safety… and aiding Adlin. Iosbail was shocked by her own thoughts. She actually wanted to help her brother! Even if it meant setting aside her own desires.
“Absolve me marriage to Alexander. I will marry Innis.”
Her chest tightened and again it was hard to breathe but when Adlin looked at her she put on a brave face. “For our clans.”
Adlin stared at her long and hard. “No clan tie is worth what you sacrifice.”
“I sacrifice nothing. My decision is made.”
He squeezed her hand. “Are you quite sure then?”
She pulled free her hand and nodded. “Aye.”
Adlin’s eyes lingered on her face several long moments before he nodded and left.
Had she really expected him to stay and talk her through her emotions? Nay. Though now young in appearance, Adlin was still just as old as her. Funny, for all she’d been appalled at the concept of aging she felt incredibly old in her young body. She supposed five hundred years would do that to a lass. Iosbail turned and leaned against the wall walk, tilting her head back so each and every rain drop could hit her face.
As the drops trickled down her cheeks she couldn’t help but wonder… did she want to live another five hundred years? Aye, she’d remain beautiful and firm but for what? With five hundred years behind her she had a good grasp of what to expect. Humankind had a pattern and very rarely did a single person surprise her. Very rarely did a person make her feel passion.
Until the Sinclair.
Iosbail closed her eyes and breathed deeply as the air grew thicker and thunder rumbled across the sky. She felt the texture of the stone beneath her fingertips and the gust of the wind as it cooled the rainwater on her face.
What would it feel like to grow old?
To lose her beauty?
What would it feel like to lose the fear she’d carried for so verra long?
Adlin’s words echoed in her mind about why the future Iosbail hadn’t come to meet her. “You decided against it. The idea of changing your past appalled you, dear sister.”
Had it indeed?
Iosbail wiped the rain over her face and stared up at the sky.
Was she in love?
How could she be after so very, very long? Alexander was a wonderful man but was he that wonderful? And if he was… why now? That aside, what good would a romance betwixt them be. She was immortal. He wasn’t. It’d never last. Literally.
She allowed the last of her remorse to run through her body then said, “We never even had a chance,” to convince herself.
Rain fell heavier. Wind howled around the castle. She stood in the driving rain for a long t
ime, thoughts both lost and consuming. This had to be right. She’d taken the correct course of action. Though youth wasn’t necessarily her reason for doing such helping out her brother most certainly was.
It had to be as simple as that…for the love of kin.
When at last Iosbail felt she’d come to the right decision she returned downstairs. As she arrived in the great hall they were walking Alexander out. His eyes locked with hers. There was not the anger expected but pity.
Pity?
Only when he disappeared around the corner did Innis come up alongside her, his soft, uncompassionate words in her ear. “Now, lassie, you’re good and truly mine.”
Chapter Thirteen
Damned if I am!
Though she said it over and over within her mind, Iosbail knew better. Innis was going to get what he wanted. By the end of this eve the MacLomain’s and MacLeon’s would have a stronger tie than they already did. Despite her long life and all she’d experienced there’d never been a stranger moment than what was to come. Who prepared to marry a man when still married to another?
Yet as she walked up the stairs only one thought persisted.
Where was he?
The need to see Alexander was terribly strong. Even if he didn’t want to see her there was no way she’d go to marry Innis until she once more spoke with the Sinclair. Focusing her magic, Iosbail smiled. Adlin had given Alexander his chambers to prepare. That said much.
About to head in his direction she was intercepted by her appointed ladies. It was time to get ready. Frustrated and growling the whole way through she allowed them to bathe and dress her. It was all a matter of speed and they knew it. Her dress was deep blue with the blue and green MacLomain tartan swathed across her waist then over her shoulder.
“Enough, leave me be,” she said at last.
The moment they left she wasted no time seeking out the Sinclair.
He needed to understand where her heart lay.
The storm remained angry, lashing and howling as she arrived at Adlin’s chamber. Though perhaps she’d hoped to catch him bathing the Sinclair was fully dressed and staring out the window when she walked in. It’d been in her mind that he’d be weak but Alexander surprised her when he turned. Iosbail stopped short, caught by the sight of him.
Gone was the sweat ridden prisoner but a man worth bowing before. Comfortable in his surroundings, Alexander stood tall dressed no longer in the MacLomain plaid but the reds of the Sinclair’s, royal emblem at his shoulder. A dark tunic hugged his wide shoulders. His plaid wrapped his muscular body far better than she remembered. Torchlight glistened off his sun-kissed hair. Black boots were strapped tight. With simmering light gray eyes as portentous and cutting as any man who knew his own self-worth Alexander bowed slightly. “I didnae expect to see you so soon, lass.”
Iosbail tried hard not to remember riding this beautiful Scotsman until her body fell apart in pure sensual bliss.
Now was not the time.
But by gods!
She was human.
Or was she?
“Of course,” she murmured before she got her wits about her and said, “Ye’ve bounced back weel ye have.”
Iosbail bit her lip. Leave it to the Irish to greet her tongue so heavily now.
“Had a bit of help,” he said though his face remained impassive. “Bonnie MacLomain lasses bathed me good they did.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” she gushed and nearly put her hand over her mouth. Five hundred years old and she was behaving like a silly girl. And after he’d said what he just had! But she knew he’d been trying to goad her. No MacLomain lass could bath him like she could if ever given the chance... which she wouldn’t be.
Alexander’s brows inched up a fraction but he said nothing.
This was ridiculous so Iosbail tried to return to the basics and lighten the mood as she drifted closer. “Have they had a run at your teeth then?”
The Sinclair cocked his head. It was obvious he worked hard at keeping his expression stern. He tapped his front tooth. “Well washed.”
She knew. He’d never had bad breath. Only one tooth wasn’t quite straight and that barely noticeable.
“And yours?”
Iosbail nearly laughed but didn’t. “Clean. Still missing the one in the way back…. comes from being so old. Let’s call it a wisdom tooth.”
“Ah.” He came closer. “And what of your hair?”
She frowned. “What of it?”
By this time he stood in front of her. Alexander tucked a lock behind her ear. “I’m not sure the Hebrides laird would find your loose ends nearly as attractive as I do.”
No doubt she had rushed her ladies along.
Pressure once more squeezed her chest as she looked up into his face. His strong jaw and the very light layer of stubble on his face had her staring. Aye, it’d been there in the dungeon but now… now…
“Why did you look at me with such pity earlier?” Iosbail asked though she suspected she knew the answer.
“Because though you’re quick to run into a physical battle you’re far too quick to run from a battle of the heart.”
Not the reason she imagined. Iosbail tried to wrap her thoughts around his words but he spoke once more.
“It occurred to me earlier that I never asked you about our friends. I’m sorry for that.” He continued to tuck hair behind her ear. “How are they?”
“Well,” she said absently, caught by the feel of his skin against hers, by the smell of his skin, spicy, intense, and terribly masculine. “In love.”
“In love?”
“I think.” She nearly leaned her face into his touch. “Caitriona is. Shamus not so.”
“Well I never saw the two as a pair.”
“Not what I meant,” she whispered.
“Iosbail?”
“Aye?”
When she opened her eyes Alexander’s were on hers, his eyes swallowing the whole of her face. “We have a lot to talk about.”
How her legs still held her up she’d never know. His gaze, his nearness, everything about the Sinclair made her feel whole and alive and vibrant. Though she shook her head no she whispered, “Aye.”
Before she could escape he cupped her cheeks, his large hands warm. “Harm has been done but all is not lost for us. I want none of the bitterness… only you.”
“How can you say such? I’ve betrayed you.”
His fingers stroked her cheekbones. “Aye, you have. But have I not done the same?”
“Nay! Not for a moment. You’ve been good and honorable and I’ve done nothing but wish you dead.” She bit her lip. “Until now that is.”
Alexander’s face came closer, his fingers gentle on her face. “Tell me, if you’d known I hadn’t killed your friend from the start would you have sought me out?”
She hated to say it but had to. “I would indeed. I needed revenge. My life has revolved around me kin. One way or another it has and always will.”
His thumb grazed her lower lip, his forefinger the tip of her cheekbone. “You’re mistaken if you thought my purpose any different… even if I am a royal bastard. Though Edgar forced our marriage I saw it as the perfect opportunity to infiltrate then slowly destroy the Brouns. And dinnae doubt for even a moment I didnae intend to hurt you far beyond that.”
Iosbail nodded, sad. How eager they’d been to destroy one another.
“But not now, not anymore,” he said softly.
“Why?”
Alexander’s thumbs stilled. “Because the only wrongs you did came from feeling threatened, from the need to protect your kin and bring justice.” His eyes grew pained. “Because you were driven to use any means necessary to protect. The Sinclair’s have done you harm and so you fought back.”
“I’m so verra sorry it was at your expense,” she said. “You are so much better than most men.”
“But just as susceptible to hurt and rage and retribution I’m afraid.”
So many emotions blew threw
her even magic wasn’t enough to tame them. Aye, she was humbled by his words but what if? What if his were just sweet words meant to fade away? What if they loved only to find the love gone when he aged and she didn’t?
“My lady.”
Iosbail and Alexander pulled apart when a lass entered the room.
It was time.
“Give us a moment. We’ll be right down.”
The servant bowed and left.
“You are my wife,” Alexander said. “Dinnae allow that to change.”
“I told Adlin I would do this thing.” She sat on the edge of the bed, her thoughts muddled and her heart hurting. “’Tis the only reason you are free.”
Alexander crouched in front of her and took her hands. “The word given a brother from his sister is verra important but will he not forgive you if you desire to stay right in God’s eyes? You’ve made the vows to me and me to you even if we were not fond of the idea when it happened.” He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them gently. “I love you, Iosbail. I’m not sure exactly when it happened but I do. I would not take back our vows if Innis threatened all of the Sinclair’s and Picts alike.”
Her eyes watered. She should have never come to see him. Perhaps she’d thought he’d shun her and make everything easier. But Iosbail knew better. When she came seeking Alexander it was to make sure his love did not run as deep as her own.
Gods knew her love for the man ran deeper than she ever could have anticipated.
“I have hurt so many over the years to suit my own needs.” She shook her head. “And now I am given the chance to stand by my word with Adlin, to show him I value the MacLomain’s as much as I do the Broun’s.”
Alexander’s eyes studied hers and she knew he saw past all her words straight into her soul. “Aye,” he whispered. “You’ve a need to please your brother but that is not what sways you now. No, ‘tis fear at the root of you. Fear of love gained then lost.”
Iosbail ignored the tear that rolled down her cheek. “I am immortal or at least I have been thus far. You will age, Alexander. I will not.”
Even as he watched the tear he spread her thighs and pulled her against him. “I’m so verra sorry lass, for ‘tis more of a cross to bear for you than me.” He again cupped her face. “Yet, this love we share should not be abandoned because of the heartache it might cause but celebrated for the memories it will create. You should not run from something so great to spend the rest of your existence wishing you never had.”
Highland Persuasion (The MacLomain Series- Early Years) Page 16
