by Jessie G
Jared took the chair across from them and smiled sympathetically. “All the details of why Sean was still on the carrier are in the packet Aiden prepared, if you really need to know them. Do you?”
It wasn’t a chastisement so much as understanding that they were focusing on the pointless details instead of the real issue. Did it really matter why Sean was on that ship? The higher-ups put him there and Shane knew there was a time to follow and a time to take a stand, neither of which should be done blindly. When you were in the combat zone, you did what you had to do and the shuffling of personnel to fill gaps wouldn’t have rung any of his warning bells either.
When Shane glanced at Julian again, those dark eyes were watching him, waiting for him to ask the question neither of them really wanted an answer to. Taking strength from that silent encouragement, Shane looked at Jared and asked, “How bad is it?”
“When the plane skidded across the deck, Sean was pinned between two containers and he suffered a thoracic spinal injury. From what I’ve seen of the diagnosis, it’s an incomplete injury at the T12 vertebrae. They’ve already performed one surgery to alleviate pressure and it’s possible they’ll have to go back in to stabilize the spinal column.” Jared took a deep breath and Shane risked another glance at Julian. The look of abject horror had him reaching for the man’s hand. They were strangers save their connection to Sean, but Julian latched on as if his very life depended on it. “I know this sounds bad…”
“Bad?” Julian sputtered out. “Bad? This sounds like…like…”
“Like every nightmare I’ve ever had,” Shane finished. They all knew the risks and accepted them when they took the oath. But to be taken out in a freak accident by one of their own? Unthinkable.
Bull clapped him on the shoulder and offered them a comforting smile. “Ty and I have already been up to the Naval Hospital. Julian’s parents flew down immediately and were there to make the necessary decisions, but now that he’s awake—and angry—he’s refusing to see them. The only reason we got in was because there was no way for him to know we were coming.”
“It’s truly not as bad as you’re imagining, but by shutting everyone out, he’s taking a crap situation from bad to worse,” Ty put in. “Which is where you two come in. Yes, Sean’s alive, but that’s only the beginning of the battle. How he recovers depends on his attitude and his needs a serious ass kicking.”
“An incomplete T12 injury is nearly as good as it gets when it comes to thoracic spinal injuries.” Jared spoke as soon as Ty stopped, their tag-team approach obviously designed to make the hard sell. Did they think he or Julian needed to be convinced to help Sean? “He should have full upper body movement and decent core control. With time and the right therapy, he may even be able to walk with braces. Don’t misunderstand, we’re not trying to downplay this. Sean’s got a long road ahead of him and he’s going to need all the support he can get.”
Suddenly, Shane was ashamed of himself—bemoaning his shoulder injury and impending retirement as if they were the worst thing that could happen. He was whole, healthy, and still in his prime. So he wouldn’t be a sailor, big fucking deal. Sean nearly died, he might never walk, and he needed help. Whatever that entailed, he’d do it. That’s all there was to it.
“We’ll help in any way we can, but beyond moral support, what can we do?” Only after speaking on behalf of them both did Shane think to check with Julian, but one look showed the quieter man’s gratitude. Taking the lead made Shane feel like he had some semblance of control, so that was fine with him.
“Exactly that,” Jared answered as if it were obvious. “You served together for how many years? How many orders has he taken from you in that time?”
That didn’t make any sense at all. “You want me to order him to…what? Get better?”
“In a way. He’s going to need a team who will fight for him and with him. Normally, we don’t step in where we haven’t been invited and we don’t understand what the family issue is, but no one should go through this alone.”
Jared looked toward Aiden who met their questioning gazes with a grim smile. “That’s why we’re hoping he’ll be open to accepting help from you. Believe me when I say that right now he’s in great hands and they’ll do everything they can for him. But Sean is just one of many and their everything is spread thin. Ours is not. We’re ready to help you advocate for Sean and our resources are at your disposal. Anything he needs, just let us know and we’ll make it happen.”
That broad statement was more than he could process and Shane found himself searching out the two Marines he’d only met once. Both Ty and Bull were watching him openly, letting him see that their intentions were on the level, but that only begged more questions. “How did Sean even ping on your radar? Why are you doing this for him?”
“It’s impossible to forget anyone who tries and nearly succeeds in out-insulting Ty.” Bull grinned when Ty grumbled good-naturedly. “We were actually checking on the pilot. When we started digging and realized we knew Sean, Ty asked Jared to pull some strings to find out his status. Honestly, we had no intention of doing anything beyond checking on an old acquaintance. But once we found out the prognosis and learned of the family issue, we couldn’t just turn our backs on him.”
The military had given him a family when his own dysfunctional one failed him. They were the support system Shane always longed for, so it wasn’t surprising to hear two brothers-in-arms offer theirs to a man they really didn’t know. In that context, their generosity made perfect sense. At least, as much as any of this could.
Beside him, Julian was squeezing his hand reflexively and seemed more focused on Sean’s picture than the conversation. When Shane squeezed back in a silent request for feedback, that startled gaze jumped to his. How could someone who was holding on so tightly be wary of him at the same time? “I need to know what you’re thinking.”
“Me?” Julian looked back at the picture and shook his head. “I’m just trying to make sense of how that could be my cousin. Bold, brash, balls-too-big-to-fit-on-the-wall Sean Murphy? The man with a story for every occasion and two volumes to tell it in—loud and louder? The one with a heart so big that you just have to love him not matter what bullshit comes out his mouth? How fucking unfair is that?”
Those dark eyes swept the room questioningly, though Shane doubted he expected an answer, before Julian looked back at him and sighed. “I know Sean’s an over-sharer, so I’m sure you know that I’m the family issue. Protecting me often meant butting heads with my homophobic parents who thought my sexuality was just some adolescent rebellion. It wasn’t fair to him. He was already dealing with his father’s death and his mother’s breakdown, but he insisted on being my champion.”
Of course, he’d heard the stories. In the early nineties, Sean’s father was transferred to Panama to maintain the Cuban refugee camps. With thousands waiting on asylum, it wasn’t considered a hostile situation and the soldiers weren’t fully armed. Then news came that the majority would be sent back and they organized a riot. Fighting for their freedom and armed with only rocks and sticks, the refugees bested the outnumbered soldiers in a skirmish that lasted less than an hour. In the end, it changed very little for them. Armed reinforcements arrived, the riot organizers arrested, and most were returned to Guantanamo.
For Sean’s family, it changed everything. Tim Murphy had taken a rock to the head, but got back up to save two of his fellow soldiers. Once the dust was settled and they were free of the encampment, he collapsed and they were never able to revive him. When Sean’s mother was notified, she went into shock and as far as Shane knew, remained uncommunicative until she passed. It was Walter and Esther Brand that took in then fifteen-year-old Sean and while he was grateful for all they’d done, he took exception with how they treated their own child.
“My cousin often said I was too sensitive, that I wore my heart on my sleeve, and he spent most of my childhood trying to protect me. But you—” Julian gazed at him with a touch of jealo
usy coupled with no small amount of awe. “My cousin thinks the world of you, did you know that? He said you were brilliant, that he’d follow you on your hunches alone, and that the Navy was foolish to risk losing you. I’ve never met anyone in this room, but I feel like I know you through Sean and if my cousin trusts you that much, then I figure I should too.”
It wasn’t the feedback he’d been looking for, but it was exactly what he needed to hear. This was a mission and men were counting on him. Grand gestures weren’t going to help Sean. What Shane needed were facts and objectives so he could form a viable plan.
“You said you could get me anything. Well, I need real data. What exactly is an incomplete thoracic spinal injury, what bodily functions does it affect, and which can be regained with therapy? You suggested that there’s a better place for him than Jacksonville, but he’s still Navy property. They’re not going to give him up without a good reason.” Falling back into mission-mode made him feel like he was doing something proactive and he needed to know their promises were real. “I’m assuming you have a plan for that?”
“Yes. If you can convince Sean, we can get him transferred.”
That was as vague as everything else they were offering, yet there was such a calm assuredness in Jared’s whole demeanor that Shane wanted to believe him. “We’ll need to know those details. As Julian said, he has a job and I’m stationed in Key West. I can get some time off, but you and I both know it’s not as easy as calling in sick.”
“We can help arrange the time off, but it won’t be as long as you think. A year ago, they expanded services at the Navy’s health center in Key West and built a great core team. A smaller facility means they can give Sean more individualized attention. You’d probably have to bring him north every few months, but I truly believe he’ll heal faster in paradise than a traditional rehab. I know I would.”
“It also means less notable interruption in your daily lives. If Sean thinks he’s causing any sort of upheaval, he might refuse your help,” Aiden pointed out when Jared trailed off. A brief smile passed between the two men. A signal perhaps, or just gratitude. Either way, Shane had never met a more in-tune group of people and didn’t know what to make of them. Lord knew, he’d never felt that connected to anyone, not even Sean.
“Do you think that’s why he’s shut out everyone else?” Julian asked thoughtfully.
“You know him better than we do. Can you see Sean doing that?” They were both nodding before Jared finished asking. The very last thing he would want to be is a burden on anyone. “You both live and work down there, and Garrison just started a job with US Fish and Wildlife Services. He and Micah have offered to provide backup.”
“Do you know Sean?” Shane looked at the two men who had been quiet thus far and recognized neither.
“Not yet, but we’re looking forward to meeting him.” As colorful as Micah was, it was his open, friendly smile that backed up his words. “As you said, Sean still belongs to the Navy and no decisions have been made about his active status. But eventually that’ll be a conversation and they’ll look at more than just his medical diagnosis. He’s coming up on his twenty soon, isn’t he? Rehab takes time and getting back to fighting shape isn’t going to be easy, if it’s even possible. We’re happy to assist through it all, and when the time comes, I’ve got some experience navigating the VA that might prove helpful.”
Shane nodded and settled back in his seat. It was a lot to process and he really didn’t know where to begin. All this conversation was necessary, he supposed, but he needed to do something hands-on.
“We need to see Sean.” Julian’s soft, hesitant voice broke the silence and when Shane looked at him, he offered an encouraging smile. With a bit of a flourish, Julian swiped one of the packets of information off the table and stood. “You drive, I’ll read.”
He still needed data, but Julian was right. They needed to see Sean.
Chapter 4
Julian Brand
They were quiet as Shane drove them away from the offices on Miami Beach and headed north on I-95. The GPS was estimating five hours, which would put them right in the heart of rush hour in one of Florida’s biggest cities. Not ideal, but the hospital was only about ten minutes west of the highway, so they were hopeful that there wouldn’t be too many delays.
Normally, Julian wasn’t overly talkative, but the silence felt ominous. The packet of information sat on his lap and though he had a million questions, he couldn’t make himself read the gory details of Sean’s accident. The alternative was striking up conversation with his new partner, only Julian didn’t know how to start. Their only common ground was Sean and he just wasn’t ready to go there.
“You okay?” Shane’s deep drawl made him close his eyes.
Julian hadn’t lied when he said Sean thought the world of Shane or that he talked of him often. For more than a decade, every conversation he had with his cousin had a Shane story and more than half the pictures Sean sent home included the man. He knew what Shane looked like when he laughed, when he was deep in thought, and when he was pissed the fuck off, as Sean would say. He’d drooled over him in full combat gear, nearly had a heart attack at the vision of him stripped down to his skivvies, and might have spontaneously ejaculated to the sight of him in full dress blues.
The constant references had Julian wondering if Sean was developing feelings for Shane and he had felt guilty for fantasizing about his cousin’s possible crush. Sean had gotten quite the kick out of that and even went as far as to admit Shane was hot enough to make a straight horn dog question his commitment to the vag. Then Sean admitted that he thought Shane would make a great partner for his favorite cousin.
“I think you need each other,” Sean had told him quietly, more serious than Julian believed him capable of being.
As inconceivable as it sounded, Sean had been matchmaking and now Julian was sitting in the car with a man he had too many fantasies of, knowing he had his cousin’s seal of approval. He hadn’t had the nerve to ask if Sean was doing the same thing with Shane or what, if any, response his would-be match had, and it was that unknown that made this whole uncomfortable silence even more awkward.
Add in the circumstances that had brought them together and Julian felt guilty for any thought that didn’t involve helping Sean. His cousin lay paralyzed in a hospital bed and here he was mooning over Shane like a love-struck teen.
“Julian?” A big, calloused hand landed on his and squeezed comfortingly, the gesture achingly familiar in their short acquaintance. “Sean and I, we’ve been through some shit together, you know? He’s the brother I never had and I’ve been listening to him talk about you for as long as I can remember.” Sad blue eyes looked his way briefly and Julian felt that emotion as if it were his own. “You and I, we’re going to help him through this together, and if you need to cry or scream, vent or hit something, I’m here for that too. Okay?”
Julian wanted to be pissed that Sean had shared his more emotional tendencies, but when was the last time someone offered to be there for him? Normally, he would work to contain the overwhelming feelings long enough to find solitude just so they wouldn’t make other people uncomfortable. “I feel like I should be crying or yelling, and I don’t know why I’m not.”
“Shock and confusion. That whole set up was a lot to process, wasn’t it?”
“It really was!” Julian shifted around in the seat so that he was turned toward Shane. “The formal office, a room full of strangers talking one after the other, seeing Sean’s picture on their wall…it was very surreal.”
“Very. I met Ty, Bull, and Jared when our units crossed paths a dozen years ago, and we teamed up to get out of a sticky situation. Never thought we’d catch up again under these circumstances.” Shane trailed off with a thoughtful frown and Julian nearly reeled back when those blue eyes suddenly blazed with anger. “If you didn’t know them at all, why did you agree to the meeting? Don’t you know there are terrorist groups targeting military families?”
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“I did my research and thought it highly unlikely that Alaric Bennett would allow international terrorists to do business under his roof. Anyway, it didn’t take more than a simple internet search to pull up the video of Garrison’s homecoming and pages upon pages of praise for the work Jared was doing.” That was the truth and Shane didn’t need to know that he would have done anything to help Sean—with or without that information.
“If you say so.” Shane didn’t look appeased at all, but he didn’t call him out on it. “Either way, that shock will wear off and the reality will hit when you least expect it. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”
“Neither are you, you know?” When Shane glanced at him doubtfully, Julian realized Sean had been right. They did need each other; he just wished it wasn’t for this. “Shane?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think we’re really going to be able to help Sean come back from this? I know you have an engineering degree and all I’ve got is a small B&B on the island. How does either make us qualified to help someone who might be…who might never…” The words stuck in his throat, choking him with painful possibilities.
“Stop!” Shane squeezed his hand and practically snarled, “Until I see it etched in fucking stone, I don’t want either of us putting that out there in the universe.”
While Julian firmly believed in the power of thoughts, both creative and destructive, he was used to people scoffing at his new age mumbo jumbo. Never in a million years would he have expected those words to come out of Shane’s mouth. His heart was torn between finding a kindred spirit and worrying that they were too late. “You don’t think it’s already there? That Sean or my parents or the doctors or…”
“Neither of us have any control over what happened before this morning, but we can change the dialogue right now. Look, I know it sounds crazy and maybe I am, but we need to be positive for Sean. How can we convince him that he can get better if we don’t believe it ourselves?”
