He closes his eyes and utters a curse.
“Aurora is her name?” I ask.
“I can’t believe I let that slip.”
Aurora. My clone now has a name. And it makes her seem just a little bit more real and a little less fake.
“So what’s her story?” I ask, trying not to sound bitter. “Did she lose her home too? Did she almost get burned to death?”
“I actually don’t know her entire background,” Forest says. “She is one secret Titus will not share with a single person. But she’s led a lonely life. That I know.”
Or she’s a good little actress. Although, it doesn’t take much to make Forest feel sorry for anyone. He’s always been compassionate. Looking to fix people. Looking to fix me.
“Why do you think she looks exactly like me?” I ask. “Do you think Titus might have…cloned me or something?”
“With the technology available, it’s not entirely out of the question. And he did have access to your blood sample, so…” He shrugs, looks at his hands, then back at me. “I don’t know, Ember. But I don’t think it really matters. Clone or not, she’s a real person now. She’s here now.”
“It does matter because she’s pretending to be me. So—so I need to know what’s going on.”
“Would you like me to phoneband Titus?” he asks mockingly. “I’m sure he’d be more than happy to pay you a visit, answer any questions you have—”
“This isn’t funny, Forest!” I suddenly regret talking to Forest. This conversation has led nowhere. Nowhere. And now he’s mocking me. He’s making play of a guy who forced Leaf to commit suicide. A monster who burned my orchard to the ground. And he’s suddenly friends with Titus again. Or is he?
I look at him. “Why do you trust Titus still? After he wanted to kill me, why are you still friends with him?”
His stares at me, and his eyes soften. “I was pretty upset with Titus after you left. I mean, enraged. I was angry that he was still trying to kill you. We seriously got into it like we never have before.” He looks at the floor, drags his hand across his face, then presses two fingers to his two perfect lips. “He claims he knew your father and brother weren’t in the house when the Defenders set it aflame.”
“So he admits he did it?”
Forest looks at me, and a sudden war seems to be going on in the ocean of his eyes. He gives a grave nod.
“And you’re still friends with him?”
“He didn’t want to hurt anyone, Ember. That’s why he did it while we were gone. While your dad and Elijah were out in the fields. He just wanted to make a point—”
“Which was…”
He frowns, swallows, then speaks. “Your father’s been stealing from the orchard for years.”
“What?”
“He’s been taking more rations than he’s supposed to. He steals bags of apples and trades them with others in the Community Garden. Over the course of twenty years, he’s stolen over a thousand coins worth of food.”
“Because we’re starving!”
“It’s illegal.”
Is he hearing himself right now?
“Forest, our rations were weeks late every month. We had nothing. It was Dad’s way of keeping his kids alive. Of keeping me alive.”
Forest stands. “If you guys were so desperate, why didn’t you just tell us? Why didn’t you send a letter to the government?”
I stand now. “What good would it have done? EVERYONE IS STARVING! I don’t see you going out to feed the Proletariat right now. I don’t see Titus trying feed his people. Oh, except for the picnic today. I saw that. The roast beef. The exotic fruits. The feast. But outside the cupola? It’s exactly the same as when I left. People are starving, and they don’t even know it because they’re brainwashed. And the ones who aren’t brainwashed, like my dad, are forced to steal food to stay alive. And now Titus is going to burn their houses down? And you’re condoning that?”
My heart is pounding so incredibly hard right now, in my chest, slamming into my brain. I can’t even seem to get the next words out. I take a deep, deep, deep breath and slowly let it out.
“I thought your eyes were opened, Forest. I thought that when we met, when you realized the desperate circumstance of Ky, you would seek to make things different. But I see now, you’re as blind as you were the day we met. Either that, or you really just don’t care, which means you’re just like Titus. Which means”—Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it—“I want nothing to do with you.”
His eyes widen, and the intense pain that registers on his face rips my heart wide open until it’s too hard to breathe. But I said what I said. And I’m not really entirely sure I want to take it back. So I turn around.
And I walk out of the room.
CHAPTER THIRTY
The next morning, breakfast is so incredibly awkward. Thomas is reading the newspaper when I enter the room. I sit in my usual spot, and he doesn’t even look up to greet me. I feel so unwelcome. Colleen brings me a plate of some egg-sausage casserole.
And hot chocolate.
I gasp and look at her in surprise.
“Mrs. Turner’s orders.” She offers a small smile and leaves the room. I want to cry. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because bringing me hot chocolate that I missed out on last night is something Mom would have done, and it’s been too long since I had a mother figure in my life. I guess I’m getting desperate so this small gesture that Colleen—or Mrs. Turner—probably didn’t think anything of is like the world to me.
I reach for the mug and take a sip. Comfort. This is what comfort tastes like. The delicious warmth splashes across my tongue and slides down my throat like magic, and I close my eyes. And melt. So, so good. I take another sip, and Forest steps into the room. The hot chocolate sours in my mouth, and I set my mug down, all sweet, magical feelings gone.
Forest looks at me, then at his father, and sits down. His golden hair disheveled, dark circles under his eyes, his shirt wrinkled and not buttoned all the way up to his chin. He looks completely different from the put-together Forest I know. The Forest I know wouldn’t make an appearance in his own home without his shirt buttoned at the cuffs and his hair combed to perfection. I don’t think he even shaved this morning.
“Morning, Father,” he says, then looks at me, nods, and clears his throat. “Flame.”
Flame. What an awful name. Rain could have at least given me the courtesy of naming myself.
“Good morning, Forest,” I say. I suddenly can’t decide if I should feel guilty and take back everything I said last night, or let Forest think on my words for a while longer. But I really don’t like this tension between us. It throws off my whole equilibrium. It makes me uncomfortable.
“Did Rain ever get home last night?” I ask, trying to ease the silent tension.
Thomas looks up for the first time and frowns at me. “He didn’t return with you?”
“He dropped me off like a sack of apples, then left.”
Thomas shakes his head and looks back at his paper, muttering something about how Rain can’t even treat one girl with common decency.
“He got a career,” Forest says.
Both Thomas and I look up.
“What?” Thomas is the first to find his voice. “How do you know this?”
“I was still awake when he got back.” Forest shrugs, looks at me. “He’s going to take over command of the Line of Defenders in Anderson County.”
My fork drops onto my plate, and I wince at the loud clattering. “He did?” So that’s where he went. He actually listened to my suggestion. I guess I’m not as useless as he thinks.
“It’s about time,” Thomas says. He looks at me and grins for the first time this morning, and he looks so much like Forest with bright blue eyes and straight nose, and that smile…for a man his age he sure is good looking. “Did you know about this?” he asks me.
I clear my throat. Thomas obviously doesn’t like me, but maybe this is my chance to redeem myself.
“What?” Forest’s brows shoot up.
“Your idea?” Thomas says, grinning. “Really? Looks like Rain finally got himself a good one, eh, Forest?” He smiles at Forest, his eyes crinkling, and sets his paper down.
But Forest isn’t smiling. He doesn’t seem the least bit amused. If anything, he looks almost…angry, his jaw tense, his face reddening. And, apart from last night, I’ve never seen Forest angry. What’s his shoddy deal, anyway?
“So what did you say?” Thomas asks me, crossing his arms over his chest. “What magical voodoo did you pull on my son to make him finally make a decision?”
Oh. I didn’t expect a question. This is bad. Because the truth is that I told Rain he could use the army to flip the government on its head. Which is complete treason.
“Um…” I talk slowly, thinking up each word as I speak. “I just said…that…leading an army…is the first step to…making this a better society?”
Forest’s eyes flash in my direction.
“Better society?” Thomas asks, stroking his jaw. “Hm. Very interesting. And what, Miss Waters, is wrong with our society?”
A string of curse words flutter through my brain, and I struggle to pick one word that perfectly sums up exactly how I’m feeling. How do I always manage to get myself into trouble? I look at Forest. He’s saved me every time I’ve dug myself into a hole with his father. But he offers no mercy. He just crosses his arms over his chest just like his father and offers a no-nonsense grin.
“Yes,” he says. “Tell us, Flame. What’s wrong with our society?”
“Um.” I clear my throat. Look at my hot chocolate. Wish that maybe I could drown in it right about now. “I mean, this is such a g-great country we live in.” I look at Thomas, force a strained smile. “But, you know there are still some poor people out there.” People who are on the brink of starvation and dying and forced to steal food to live, and now they’re being killed for stealing, is what I probably shouldn’t say out loud right now.
“Yes.” Thomas strokes his chin. “Yes. You’re right. Though we try our best to make everything equal out, there are still some who suffer. There is some glitch in the system that just…doesn’t seem to add up.”
Um, like brainwashing the Proletariats and taking all their food to feed Patricians, maybe? I don’t know.
“So how will Rain, by commanding a fleet of soldiers, be able to fix this?”
Why is he asking me all these questions? I guess it was better when I posed as a brainless girl Rain just brought home for a few days. Because any opinion I have will no doubt get shot down by Thomas.
So instead I tell him exactly what he would want to hear. “I guess…since there are so many robberies, the Defenders of the Peace could crack down a little harder. Because if there are no robberies, there will be more food to distribute.”
This makes absolutely no sense, but Thomas nods his acknowledgement, and I know I said the exact right thing that will make Thomas like me. Although, I’m not entirely sure I want to be liked by someone like Thomas. Forest, on the other hand, releases a snort of disbelief and shakes his head. Thomas and Forest exchange a few more words, then Thomas stands and heads out of the room, leaving me and Forest alone.
I look down at my breakfast. I think I took only one bite, but I can’t really imagine eating any more. Not when I think about all the people who suffered to provide it. And then I feel guilty for not eating it because it’ll just go to waste. Ugh. What a case I am. I can’t even seem to make a decision about food, of all things.
“What’s going on between you and my brother?”
Forest’s straightforward question brings my head up. “What?”
“You and Rain.” He chuckles, but there’s absolutely no humor in his eyes. “I should have known spending too much time with him would go to your head. You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
“Wha—no! Absolutely not! Ew!”
He stares at me, unfazed, then takes a sip of his coffee. Colleen enters the room, clears off the table except our hot drinks, then steps back through the swinging doors into the kitchen. I take a big gulp of my hot chocolate, wish I could actually enjoy it for just one minute. Forest sets his mug back down, leans back in his chair, and crosses his ankle over his knee.
“Tell me the truth,” he says.
I set my own mug down. “There’s nothing between me and Rain. That’s just—no. Not ever happening. Ever.”
“Then why are you blushing?”
“I’m not blushing! This is called rage. This is blood rushing to my face because I’m so frustrated with you!”
“Me?” He laughs out loud. “You’re frustrated with me?” He shakes his head, studies me, a hint of amusement, pain, remorse, and confusion all weaving in and out of his beautiful cobalt eyes. “I don’t understand, Miss Waters. You come all the way back to Frankfort, into enemy territory, because you want to make sure I’m okay. Not twenty-four hours after seeing me, you decide that you never want to see me again. Now you’re frustrated.” He chuckles again. “What a perfect disaster.”
My chest caves in. “I’m frustrated because you’re failing to see the brokenness in your own system.”
“I see it,” he says. “And I plan to fix it.”
“When?” I ask. “In a decade? After Titus grows old and dies? I need the system fixed now. Preferably before more people are forced to either steal food and get arrested, or starve to death. Preferably before more houses are burned to the ground.”
Something in his eyes snaps and he’s suddenly dead serious. “You didn’t come back for me, did you?”
“What? Yes. Of course I di—”
“You came back to get revenge on Titus,” he says. “Didn’t you? Just like you did at the parade.”
I’m so stupid. So incredibly stupid. Because Rain told me to keep a low, docile profile, and now Forest is figuring things out. He knows I came back for reasons other than him. He knows me so well. So painfully well.
I should have stayed in my room today.
But I dug myself into this hole, and I’m going to dig myself out, clean up my mess, preferably before Rain finds out and ditches me like he said he would if I caused any trouble. I force a small, pained smile. The one that always garners Forest’s sympathy.
“You’re right,” I whisper. Come on, tears. Where are you when I need you most? “I returned in blind rage,” I say. “I’m still so angry and hurt because of what Titus did to my—my home. And because he almost—he almost killed me. And he killed Leaf and Leaf’s family and Charlie and Illene. And—and I’m still hurt by that.” I look down at my hands, my fingernails, my cuticles. And talking about my home and my friends suddenly makes the pain real, and I’m not really trying to fake it anymore. There’s no need, because it’s real. And I’ve been stuffing it away for weeks, because there’s been so much pressure at the caverns about me being the chosen one and leading the people and helping them create an uprising and—
A tear slips. And drips off the bridge of my nose.
And Forest is on his feet in seconds and immediately by my side, gathering me in his arms.
“I’m so sorry, Ember,” he whispers against my ear. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I completely understand your anger. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”
All my anger toward him evaporates. And I’m a puddle.
The door creaks open and Rain steps in. His gray eyes widen a fraction when he sees us, and I think I see something resembling pain flash across his features, but if it was there it’s gone just as quickly. He pulls out a chair and sits down across from us.
“There are exactly five bedrooms upstairs,” Rain snaps. “And you choose to make out in the dining room? Disgusting.”
Forest pulls away from me, sits in the chair beside me. Holds my hand like we’re together again. And glares at Rain. “Are you starting your training today?”
Rain smirks. “Training to train Defenders?”
he looks at me and laughs. “That’s funny sounding. Ironic. But yes. I’m training.” He snorts, then mutters. “To train Defenders.”
Colleen brings out coffee and breakfast for Rain, and he lifts his mug to his lips. “What about you two lovebirds? Planning your honeymoon? When’s the big day?”
I roll my eyes.
“Although,” Rain continues, looking at Forest, “maybe you haven’t set a date yet, since, you know, you can’t really choose between this one and that one.”
“What are you talking about?” Forest’s voice is tight.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Ember,” he says the name with air quotes. “And…Flame-girl here. You’ve got one wrapped around your finger and one wrapped around your heart. Which will you choose?”
“There’s no choosing, Rain,” Forest says.
“Oh, I suppose you don’t really have to choose. You could always marry one and keep the other hidden in your quarters. No one would even know.”
Forest rises to his feet and slams his fist on the table. “You sick son of jackal! It’s one thing to attack my character. But to do it right in front of a lady? If anything, you’re ripping her dignity to shreds by forcing this conversation in front of her.” He looks down at me, and I’m suddenly terrified. I’ve seen more of Angry Forest in the past twenty-four hours than I ever care to see again. “Come on, Ember,” he says, holding out his hand to me. “Let’s get out of here.”
I take his hand and stand, look back at Rain. And stop. Because Rain’s glaring at me with a hinted warning.
“We actually have some things to discuss.” Rain looks at Forest. “I need to speak to her. In private.”
Forest huffs out a laugh of disbelief. “No way I’m leaving her alone in your presence.”
“Why don’t we let her decide, yes?”
Two pairs of eyes look right at me, and I’ve never wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole as much as I do now. I look between them. At Forest’s pleading, gentle eyes, to Rain’s cold, steel ones telling me that this really isn’t an option. Because I’m on a revolutionary mission, not on a dating show. I release Forest’s hand, knowing just how much this is going to hurt him right now. Especially after our two fights.
ashen city (Black Tiger Series Book 2) Page 20
