by Alexa Davis
“My God. You’re killing me; please just take me,” she panted as I used my fingers on her.
“Not yet, love. I have to feed you first.” I kissed the back of her neck gently and tried to pull my hand away. With an almost angry growl, she pressed her hand against mine, holding it in place. She ground herself against my hand and tilted her head back to kiss me and I obliged, taking her breast in my other hand while I explored her mouth with my tongue.
Dinner forgotten, I picked her up without moving my hands from either her sweet, wet heat or her breast and tossed her on the bed. She sat up and tore at my pants, sliding them down over my hips until she released me, hard and erect, and held me in her hands, humming and licking her lips.
“Oh God, I need you,” she breathed staring up at me her mouth perilously close to my throbbing erection. “Do you want a kiss?”
I nodded dumbly, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my eyes closed automatically as she slid her lips over me and pushed down until I felt them against my stomach, and I was deep inside her. With a gasp I pulled away, afraid that I’d lose control right then and there.
“I want to make love to you,” I begged. I shoved her back on the bed and slid her up until her head was at her pillows. She lifted herself the last few inches so that her wet hair lay across the pillow, leaving long, wet stains that made me think of other things.
I kissed her gently from her thighs all the way up her body, leaving nothing untouched by my lips and tongue as she writhed beneath me. I whispered my love to her at every stop, paying special attention to the dripping wetness I drank in as I stared up the long line of her body. I moved up the webbing of scars that were hers, but also the failed attempt of the world to stop her, to end the force of nature that she was. I licked and teased one nipple, then the other, while my fingers found their home inside her and pulled her closer to the edge of release.
When I finally slid my slippery fingers into her mouth, I slipped inside her with a long, slow push that made her cry out around them. She lifted her hips and I replaced my fingers with my tongue, tasting her on her own lips while I thrust into her. Her hands snaked around my neck and she fisted her hands into my hair, so I did the same, winding her long, damp tendrils around my hand and pulling her head back so I could suck and kiss the soft skin of her throat.
When I released her, she kissed me hard and pulled my lower lip between her teeth, sucking it hard as I felt her tighten around me, squeezing down as she came screaming into my mouth. I felt her drag me over the edge with her and came hard and fast, slamming into her and holding her there until I could breathe again.
I collapsed to the side and dragged her onto me, where she lay draped over me, scratching Skipper’s ears as he popped his head up to check on us. Realizing we were going to be still, he jumped up onto the bed and settled himself at the foot of it after turning in circles and nosing the bedding into the semblance of a nest around him.
“This wasn’t what I had planned,” I confessed as we lay in each other’s arms. “I brought food. It’s out in the living room.”
She laughed, a low and feminine sound that made my body consider round two an actual possibility. “You could have just let me put clothes on,” she reminded me. I snorted.
“Now you’re talking crazy, woman,” I chided her. She laughed again and snuggled into my side.
“I hate to admit it, but I’m starving,” she said, pushing closer into my side.
“Me, too, darlin’. Why don’t you just throw on a robe and see what Patty set aside for us from dinner. Rachel nodded her head and slipped into a short kimono, tying the belt around her waist to keep it from falling open. My face must have shown my annoyance with her modesty because she laughed out loud and leaned over to kiss me chastely.
“Feed me now, and I’ll take it off for you again later,” she assured me as I slipped my jeans back up over my hips. I decided to forego the belt and shirt and followed her out to the living room after trapping Skipper behind the bedroom door.
The fire had burned down a little and the room was toasty and inviting as we sat and I poured her a glass of the sparkling, white wine. At first, we ate in silence, attacking the food like starving people. After a few minutes, our hunger sated, we slowed down and picked at the fruits and cheese, going over the events of the day.
I admitted that Verica’s willingness to wade in had won me over, and I was planning to cancel the other interviews. I didn’t bother sharing that a few had already canceled, not wanting to be associated with anyone who would consider working with her.
Finally, at the moment I’d been rehearsing and waiting for, I kept finding ways to postpone it, picking at the food, massaging Rachel’s shoulders until she was nearly asleep, and clearing away the remnants of supper. Out of distractions, I looked over at Rachel, who was watching me with a pleased smile on her face.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, suddenly self-conscious.
“Just thinking about how nice it will be to go to bed with you tonight,” she replied, lifting her knees to her chin as she sat on the floor. The view from my seat across the blanket was enough to make my mouth go dry and I gathered myself together to finally say what I needed, even if only to get past it and back inside her, where I belonged.
“Rachel, you have changed a lot about this place since you arrived,” I began, sitting closer to her and taking her hand in mine. She put her knees down and watched me intently. I pulled the ring out of its hiding place in the basket and opened the box for her to see the softly glinting stone in its setting.
“Daniel, what?” she began to ask before I cut her off.
“Just let me finish, before I lose my nerve.” I swallowed hard and continued. “I can’t remember my life before you, and I can’t imagine it if you leave.” I knelt on one knee and plunged ahead. “Marry me, Rachel. Be my wife and my partner, and I won’t let you down.” I held the ring in front of me as she sat there, a stunned look on her face.
“Oh, Daniel, I wasn’t expecting this,” she breathed, and I saw the telltale shaking begin in her hands. “I can’t marry you, Daniel. It’s just not fair.” She sniffed and hid her face in her hands while I sat there holding the ring. The room spun and I blinked slowly, trying to figure out what to do next. I had promised myself I wouldn’t beg if she said “no,” but the words escaped unbidden from my lips.
“Why?” the word echoed harshly in the rafters. “How isn’t it fair?” I tried to keep my tone level, but bile rose in my throat. Instead of pulling away, Rachel collapsed into my lap, and I flinched as a low wail came from her.
“I can’t give you babies, Daniel,” she sobbed in a half-whisper, her tears hot on my leg. “I just can’t. You’ve seen the scars. You know I’m telling you the truth.” She sat up and wiped her nose on the sleeve of the cotton robe. “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid it was too much to share, that it would be forward of me to assume our relationship was even going there.” She breathed deeply and controlled her tears.
“You can’t marry me because you can’t get pregnant. You can’t get pregnant because that piece of trash put you in harms’ way and you almost died,” I said the words carefully, but the more I spoke, the angrier I knew I sounded.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have wasted your time,” she said softly from her sleeve as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You were so wonderful. I just couldn’t resist being with you as long as I could.” She sniffed again and stared at the floor.
“I’m not asking you to be my baby machine,” I scolded her. “I’m marrying you because you’re the woman I never knew I could even dream about.” I tipped her face up and forced her to look at me. “I’m asking you because I don’t want to live another day without knowing that you will be mine forever.” I fought the frustration I felt as she looked at me in shock.
“You want to marry me even though I can’t give you a son to carry on the family business?” she asked, amazed that it was even a possibility.
“I’d marry you if it meant I only had another year at the ranch,” I replied. “But, that’s not going to happen, because you’re going to stay forever, right?” I waved the ring under her nose like a bribe. She laughed and cupped my face in her hands.
“No,” she declared, adding to it before I could even pull away. “There are a couple of things we have to work out first.” She kissed my numb lips. “I can’t just quit school, and I won’t just quit you,” she pointed out, softening the blow. “I appreciate that you want me in spite of my…issues.” Rachel took the ring from my hand and closed the box, after giving it a look of longing.
“So, you’re not saying no, you’re saying…” My voice trailed off and I waited for her to finish the sentence.
“I’m saying, as soon as I know my past isn’t going to hurt your future, and as soon as I know I can still finish the work I need to do at school, I would be delighted to be your wife, even if all I’m good for is mucking stalls and forcing tubes into horses’ orifices.” She smiled. I opened the box and took out the ring.
“Then there’s no reason not to wear this,” I pointed out. “Just because we’re not setting a date doesn’t mean you get to walk around looking like you’re available, woman,” I growled at her. I slid the filigreed platinum over her slender finger, watching the diamond wink in the firelight.
“It’s beautiful,” she admitted, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
“It’s one of a kind, just like the owner,” I boasted, running my fingers through her damp hair. “And don’t think I’m letting you off the hook with this ‘my past will hurt you’ horse-pucky, either.” I waved my finger in front of her face until she giggled. “Your past, and my past, are not things we have to handle alone.” She climbed into my lap and I tried to focus on the matter at hand, instead of her tight, bare bottom resting on my thighs.
“You know he’ll probably make more trouble for you if he finds out. Can we at least keep it a secret?” she asked me in a whisper. I wrapped my arms around her and silently promised myself to hunt Steed down and teach him the meaning of repentance.
“It doesn’t have to leave the ranch,” I agreed. “But everyone already knows I was asking, so it won’t exactly be a secret,” I admitted. I ran my fingers over the cool skin of her thighs as I watched her preen and move the ring in the firelight, making little sounds of pleasure as she held it up for us both to see.
“It’s a beautiful ring,” she mused. “But what makes it even prettier is that it means you chose me.” I thought for a moment about what she’d said.
“Actually, you are the one wearing it, so by your words, what really makes it beautiful, is that you, chose me,” I argued gently.
I moved her hair away from her neck and kissed her softly moving my way up to her temple and sliding my hand into her kimono at the same time. As my hand slid over her breast, clamping her nipple between my fingers and kneading it to attention, she opened her mouth to me and we kissed. As I lay her down on the blanket and opened her robe, I thought to myself that for such a rough start, the day had turned out almost better than I’d planned.
Chapter Nineteen
Rachel
I tried to put the night before out of mind as I checked in on Dancer and Pete as the sun rose. Skipper was by my side and even he was more quiet and obedient than usual, affected no doubt, by the smells and sounds of the medical suite. I’d left my engagement ring, and Daniel, in my bedroom. The one, I’d left for privacy’s sake, the other so he could sleep off the wine and amazing feats of stamina he’d surprised me with the night before.
I knew I should’ve just said “no” and left it there. There were so many ways for us to go wrong still. I’d been with Jason for three years, and in the end, he’d burned me in ways I didn’t realize happened in reality. How could I possibly think that I could have forever with a man who hardly knew me, who hadn’t known me before I was so bruised and damaged to the core? But, he accepted the damage. So, maybe if he still felt the same way once school started and I wasn’t around all the time, we could make it work.
My stomach churned thinking about the attempted character assassination that had followed the car accident, with me as the primary target. Anything and everything that could be said about a woman was heaped on me like compost on a garden bed, and I would not let that happen to Daniel and his family. I planned to wait until after Verica’s welcoming party that night, but then I had to talk to the Hargraves about my experience and damage control. Because I knew the kind of people they were dealing with, who had the money and free time to waste on ruining lives just for the hell of it.
I looked into the medical suite as quietly as I could. Pete was curled up in a ball in the corner, while Verica sat watch with Pretty Dancer. She had a steaming coffee mug in her hand and looked no worse for the wear, for which I was grateful and again marveled at the clockwork organization and effortless running of the ranch under Hannah’s watchful eye. I knocked quietly to warn her of my entry and she turned and smiled up at me before casting a possessive and admiration-filled glance at our sleeping horse master.
“He let me sleep all night. I feel guilty; I’ve only been up for about an hour,” she whispered. Dancer stirred, and a quick check of the heart monitor and oxygen saturation meter brought a sigh of relief and a stupid grin to my face.
“What a strong, brilliant girl you are!” I said to Dancer as I stroked her nose. She nickered and nodded profusely in response, and the jockey and I both had to stifle giggles. I loosened the straps on the sling a little, to allow Dancer some small movement and test her ability to hold her own weight, but left the winches alone until Dr. Pallace returned to reexamine her.
Daniel came up behind me and grabbed me when I jumped. He mouthed “sorry” and put his arms around me, frowning slightly when he held up my hand and the ring wasn’t there.
“I’ve got mucking to do,” I replied to his silent scolding in a stage whisper. “I can’t wear it while I’m shoveling horseshit, even in gloves.” I raised my eyebrows at him, and he grudgingly nodded agreement. I ignored the flip my stomach did and asked him if he’d eaten.
“No, I imagine I had exactly the same first thought you did. How is she?” Daniel asked. He checked the machines as I had just done, and watched me as I forced my hands into latex gloves and checked her mouth, nose, and specifically, the two bite marks.
“Granted, this is my first ‘in real life’ snake bite, but I think she’s doing really well,” I asserted. I shone my penlight into her eyes and her pupils dilated appropriately. “I won’t make any definite claims. That’s for Dr. Pallace,” I conceded. “But, I see nothing that seems to suggest she isn’t getting better.” Verica heaved a sigh behind me.
“I trust your word,” Daniel stressed. “I suggest you ladies go get breakfast while I take the watch, and then we’ll set up a rotation until the doc arrives to confirm what I’m sure is your more than adequate prognosis.” He kissed me gently and shooed us out the door before either of us could contradict him.
We walked quietly for the length of the paddock, as though there was a heaviness that surrounded the entire stable that we couldn’t speak over. As we approached the house, the feeling abated, and Verica thanked me for going to the mat for her.
“I always stand up for the people who stand by their animals.”
Her gushing compliments were difficult to hear. No one should have put this girl, younger even than me, in a position to be grateful because I’d told the truth and done what any decent person should. I shrugged off the compliment and at the sad look on her face, slipped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a quick hug.
“Do you know where I am on the list?” she asked so nonchalantly, I had to hide a smile behind my hand.
“After last night, I think you ARE the list,” I confided. Patty met us on the back veranda with a coffee in each hand, switching Verica’s lukewarm cup for the fresh one without a word. She nodded us toward the table and we sat under the dim, flick
ering strings of light as close as we could to the fireplace that adorned the end of the massive back deck. Warming our behinds with the early morning fire as we warmed our hands with the hot coffee, we sat in quiet companionship until Hannah appeared with hot biscuits, fresh squeezed orange juice, and a plate of thick-cut bacon. Patty was close behind with a tureen of country gravy and a platter of sausage and scrambled eggs.
Verica loaded up her plate and I snatched a couple of big, fluffy biscuits, dropping them on my plate as my fingers stung in complaint against the heat. I split them open and spread churned butter over them, then drizzled them with the honey Hannah harvested from the ranch beehives. The crisp smell of morning was punctuated by the fragrant biscuits and heavenly smells of the bacon and sausage as I closed my eyes and breathed in the wonder of living so close to the earth, exactly the way I had always imagined.
When I opened my eyes, Hannah and Patty were speaking quietly to Daniel, who looked over at me and winked. His slow smile and the utterly masculine way he looked me over made me blush, and I prayed the dim, pre-dawn light hid my dismay from the men who were now loping up to the table, all of whom looked like sleep hadn’t been kind to them. At my questioning look, Hugh yawned and admitted they’d sat with Pete for much of the night, playing cards, helping with snacks, and trying to keep his spirits up.
I sniffed as tears nipped at my eyelashes. Hannah beamed over the table like the proudest momma, and even Jackson slid into an empty seat, rubbing his eyes and groaning his wordless complaints at the early hour.
“Why are you up?” I asked him as I slid several slices of bacon and a biscuit onto his plate.
“I didn’t go to bed until Verica took the watch. I was on the laptop all night, going over symptoms and whatever for Pete.” I glanced at Hannah, who fluttered her hands and clasped them over her heart.
