by E. J. Mellow
“I like it,” Dev says, tucking the blonde piece behind my ear. “It makes you seem edgy.”
I laugh. “And here I thought I already had that on lockdown.”
“Oh, you do, but now you can tell by looking at you.”
“What? You couldn’t before?”
Dev holds back a grin. “Before you seemed as sweet as a sip of Traub.”
“Well, that sounds gross.”
Dev chuckles. “Traub is a sugary drink made from Terra grapes. I’ll give you some later.”
“Oh.” I frown. “Wait. If that’s true, how did anyone take me seriously before?”
Dev props his head on his hand, amusement shining in his gaze. “You think you have to look scary to be taken seriously?”
“It certainly helps.”
Bringing his thumb up, he traces the line of my jaw to my bottom lip. “Often the best weapon is camouflage.” He draws his finger closer to the opening of my mouth, and I bite it. He grins. “Precisely.”
“I like this form of teaching,” I say, wiggling my brows. “Give me another lesson.”
He laughs. “Gladly.” Leaning down, he kisses me. “Did you know Cato’s an original,” he says. “One of the first elders in Terra.”
My eyes pop open. “What?”
Dev nods. “Which makes him also one of the most powerful.”
“Oh God.” I cover my mouth. “But back in City Hall I …”
“Told him to shut it?” Dev offers with a wry grin.
“Oh God,” I repeat. “No wonder he looked sick when I grabbed his hand. I totally messed up, didn’t I?”
“Cato has seen many things in his lifetime. A little sparring from a Dreamer certainly can’t be the most shocking. I’m sure it was even a welcome change for the old man.”
I swallow. “I certainly hope so.”
“I loved it,” Dev says as he combs his fingers through my hair. “It was a turn on.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course it was.”
“A big one,” he clarifies as he brings his lips back to mine.
I let him nip and massage them open, savoring every one of his touches, the way his tongue moves against mine. I could do this forever, and just when I’m about to suggest such an idea, Dev moves away, resting his head back against his pillow.
I hold back a groan of displeasure.
“I meant to ask earlier,” he says, weaving his fingers into mine, “but how’s Rae?”
“He seemed…okay before I left. Having Becca there helped, and I think…I think he’s going to be happy.”
Dev’s features run through a gamut of emotions before ending on resigned acceptance. “I’m glad.”
“He’s a good friend.”
“The best.”
“You know,” I say. “I did overhear Raymond say something about them working on a dimensional video connection thingy.” Dev’s eyes lock with mine. “At the very least, having the portal boxes able to carry electronics without jumbling the feed.” I smile slightly, but Dev merely frowns.
“Let’s not play that game,” he says.
“But—”
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I can’t…Rae and I said our good-byes. If something becomes possible with time, we’ll address it then.”
I study his furrowed brow, the way his eyes dart from mine, trying to hide what I can clearly see, and that’s when I realize how much of a hit Rae’s sacrifice really was to him. I always knew it would be hard, but I guess I never thought about how hard, considering I will still be able to see our Vigil friend. I feel disappointed with myself. Of course losing Rae weighs heavy on Dev. They don’t have siblings here, but it didn’t take long with being around the two to know they were like brothers, closer even. Memories of what I went through when I thought I had to give up Becca, my family, like I almost did, falls on me hard, and I suddenly want to give Dev a bone-crushing hug. But I don’t, because I know he’d interpret it as pity. So instead I murmur that I understand and I won’t mention such things again.
“Thank you,” he says before we settle into a silence, each of us wrapped in separate thoughts.
“Can I ask you something?” I eventually ask.
Dev turns to me.
“What’s going to happen to Aaron?”
His blue gaze immediately darkens, the lightness of our moment gone, but I had to ask. The Vigil has been a constant thought since getting here, and Dev talked very little about him in our letters. Besides snippets that Rae would pass along, I hardly know the state of things. I knew both men must have done it to ease my mind, considering the white-hot anger that goes through me whenever I think about Aaron, but it’s time I face reality.
“He will have a trial,” Dev says after a moment, rolling to study the ceiling.
“To be banished?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Terminated.”
I sit up straighter. “What, like killed?”
He nods.
I lean back, taking this in. Aaron…sentenced to death. I didn’t know Terra even did that sort of thing. “Does…does Aurora know about this?”
Dev’s jaw clenches. “Yes.”
“Oh God.” My hand goes to my mouth. “That’s why…”
“Why what?”
I swallow. “Just…she didn’t seem too happy to see me.” I don’t know why, but I can’t tell Dev what happened during the battle tonight, not yet anyway. I mean, of course she’d be mad at me, blame me, but she’d never intentionally hurt me. She’d been kind, despite my jealousy toward her and Dev. No, she’s not the sort of person who would do that…
“Her brother has a way of manipulating her,” Dev says. “I’ve told her to stop visiting, but she’s blind when it comes to Aaron. She always has been.” His lips press into a tight line. “I don’t want you around her without me present.”
I gawk. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’ve never been more serious.”
“But that’s ridiculous. And anyway, I’m never alone now.” I glance to the window, reminding him of the Vigil guards outside.
“Even so,” he says, pulling me closer. “She’s not been herself. Her eyes…there’s something unstable there.”
“We should help her.”
“I’ve tried.” He shakes his head. “But it does little good when the person you’re trying to help believes there’s nothing wrong.”
“But after everything the two of you’ve been through, you can’t just give up trying to—”
“Mols.” Dev cuts me off. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. We only have a few hours left before one of us will be called for something. I don’t want to waste it by talking about this.”
I chew on my bottom lip, sensing that what Dev’s asking is more of a plea. “Okay,” I say, knowing he’s right. Time, something I once took for granted, now seems like the most precious commodity.
But even as Dev tucks me under him, his soft lips finding mine again, my mind isn’t completely free from worry. Because if I’ve learned anything since the night I got hit by lightning, it’s that no matter how hard you try to ignore something, say it isn’t true, it has a way of crawling out of the shadows when you least expect it, showing you how very real it is.
— 21 —
The corridor appears endlessly long, the white walls stretching out before me like taffy pulled straight. The only things breaking up the monotony are the few doors evenly patterned along our path. As I take in a deep breath, I taste the sterile tang of air that’s mixed with a sweetness, something I’ve only recently become aware is the smell of Navitas—my new senses allowing me to pick up the fragrance. My entourage of Vigil guards trail behind me as we travel at an even pace down the hall, various engineers and scientist bowing their heads as we pass. If my feet weren’t already moving forward, they’d be shifting uncomfortably. Even though I’ve walked this corridor of the Dreamer Containment Center many times before, something has evidently changed since I’ve been gone, and I really don�
��t think it’s me. The employees here have always treated me with respect, but now…well, now it’s borderline reverent.
And I hate it.
I might have picked up some new traits upon my return, but I’m no different than I was before. The change in their behavior seems unfounded, and I press my lips together to keep from yelling at them to stop it already and act normal.
Hector, who accompanies me, seems to pick up on my discomfort, and smirks. “I’ve never seen someone so displeased from gaining attention. You look like you’re having a difficult time squeezing something out your butt.”
I shoot him a narrowed glare. “Thanks. Are you always this charming?”
“Only every other day of the week.”
“How lucky for me then, to get you on one of the every other.”
“Indeed,” he agrees with raised brows.
While I’m still not used to Rae’s replacement, and can definitely see how Hector can be one trying SOB, there’s something about his mocking undertone and flippant demeanor that I find rather amusing. I can certainly see how Dev and he wouldn’t get along though. While their appearances are as different as night and day, they seem to share a similar sarcasm when it comes to authority, or anything for that matter. Such a trait, when put tête-à-tête, wouldn’t mix well.
“I just don’t get why they’re acting like this,” I mutter after I share another nod with a group of soldiers, who’ve all bowed low. It’ll take all day to get to Elena at this rate.
“I suspect they’ve realized how much of a necessity you actually are now, given the war’s escalation since you’ve been gone.”
“Wouldn’t they have known this from the Dreamers before me?”
“Not everyone here was present for them, plus memories fade, Molly.”
I hear a trace of sadness in his voice, but his features show no signs of such an emotion.
Turning a corner, we follow another long colorless hall that will eventually lead me to my session with Elena, and my heart sinks seeing another round of various DCC employees whom we’ll have to pass. “There isn’t, like, a hidden passageway that will get us there faster, is there?”
Hector fixes his already neatly-pulled-back bun, his gray hair camouflaging into our surroundings. “None that I know of.”
“Really? You never found any all the times you were here with my grandfather?”
Hector stiffens beside me, his green gaze finding mine in a quick, narrowed sweep. “No,” he says tightly.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“I know, but—”
“We’re here,” he says, stopping in front of a closed door that houses a glowing blue lightning bolt.
I frown, watching Hector gesture to one of my guards to unlock the room, and wonder what in all of Terra could have happened for him to act so strangely on this subject? The few times I’ve brought up Hector to my grandfather, he had nothing but fond memories to share, and while my grandfather did seem hurt by Hector’s sudden disappearance during the war, he never mentioned anything that might have caused the abandonment. He seemed just as confused as the rest of us. What was Hector hiding?
“I’ll be back once you’re done.” He nods for me to enter the room.
I open my mouth to say something, but decide better of it. He seems far from an open book. So I turn and walk inside, the door closing with an audible huff.
The giant domed space is just as I remember it. The walls are covered in panels of white, the area lit from some unknown source, and the petite blonde who waits in the middle, one hand on an ivory padded chair, all gives me a sense of déjà vu. I’m back in the Dreamer Memory Room.
“Welcome,” Elena says as I approach. “I hope you were able to get some rest since yesterday’s events.”
“Yes,” I say, glancing to the dentist-like seat between us. My stomach flips in anticipation. It’s been so long since I’ve been connected to my predecessors, and it might be a strange thing to say, but I missed the feel of their presence. Even though it’s never as strong as when I’m in the energy plane of sight, I can still sense an undercurrent of their experiences as I stand here now. They course through my central nervous system, ready to be called forth at a moment’s notice to my mind. Riki, the strongest of them all, whispers my welcome home.
“Good.” Elena smiles and indicates that I should take a seat. “We’re going to start today’s session a bit differently. Before I give you a past Dreamer, I would like to record part of your memories. We’ll need to do a few sessions of this.”
“We can’t collect them all now?”
She shakes her head. “We’ve found this can affect your short-term memory if too much is pulled at once.”
“Oh, then yes, let’s space them out.”
She smiles an amused lilt as she readies the equipment. A white podium rises from the ground, where a small glass container rests on top. It looks no bigger than a pint. “You really must not be taking very much.”
“This can hold up to fifty years of memories.” She types away on a tablet beside her, causing apparatuses to move and shift around the chair. “Now please lay back,” she instructs as she presses tiny round sensors to my forehead, the material cool against my skin. “These tap into the Hippocampus section of your brain, which is responsible for your various memory functions. The retrieval process won’t hurt. If anything, you’ll feel a little tingle and some heat where the sensors are.”
“And they will pull my memories into that?” I point to the empty container.
She nods. “Yes.”
“But how? Are you going to connect a wire?”
“How do you think your Internet works? When you press Send on a text on your cell phone, how does it get to the recipient?”
“Uh…magic?” Is it pathetic that I don’t actually understand the science behind something I use daily?
“Sure, let’s call it that,” she says as she hands me a small cup of liquid. “Drink this. It’s a light sedative and will make your thoughts slow. We need your mind relaxed.”
“What memories are you going to take?” I ask, realizing how extremely invasive this actually is.
“We aren’t taking any,” she says. “We’re duplicating.”
Is there really a difference?
“And we’re going to start from the beginning, a few days prior to the lightning strike and go from there. Now sip.” She pushes the glass closer to my lips.
I chug it down and wince. “Ug, that’s disgustin—”
My mind goes blank.
The air is uncharacteristically warm for April as I walk down a small street in the West Village. It’s my birthday, and a man waits for me, his tall, broad form leaning against a lamppost on the corner. Jared’s hazel gaze lands on me, and my stomach jumps as he steals a kiss. Dinner is filled with conversation and laughs, comfort and a silver charm bracelet. My life is simple, calm, everyday. I’m happy, if not somewhat bored.
It’s dark and raining now, and I’m soaked to the bone. The buildings I run past become illuminated with the flashing of lightning, and I jump as the reverberating crack of thunder follows. I’m almost home. Let me just make it home. Another loud splinter sounds through the air, and then there’s nothing but pain and my silent screams as my body is ripped inside out. It lasts forever as I disappear into an abyss.
The scene shoots forward at a nonstop pace—my time in the hospital, my parents beside my bed, Dr. Marshall’s smile, my subconscious screaming that it’s not who I think it is, but it’s useless. All of this has already happened, already been set in motion.
My thoughts move on.
I take in Terra for the first time, the wonderment of the spinning sky with its shooting stars and the mysterious illuminated city. I meet Dev, his blue gaze piercing as my soul fuses together on a sigh. There’s Aveline, Tim, Rae, and Elena. I fly through skyscrapers, nightmares, and manifest my desires into existence.
This
recalling goes on until it stops at the moment I learn who I am, my purpose, and I’m devastated and excited and confused. I stand under the canopy of a single tree at night as an endless field stretches out before me, only ending when it hits a glowing metropolis in the distance. The only sounds are the swaying of the grasses as they dance in the breeze, and the rhythmic chirping of insects. My life is no longer simple, calm, or everyday. But yet I’m still happy and most certainly not bored.
My eyes blink open on a giant intake of air, and I glance around, discombobulated. I’m back in Terra, in the Dreamer Memory Chair, in the present. There’s a gentle tug to my core, and I glance to my right to see Elena touching my arm.
“You did wonderfully,” she says, her voice muffled.
I blink again, and a blue glow catches my attention. The once empty container on the podium is now filled a quarter of the way to the top, the liquid inside shining with an array of blue rainbow hues. Turquoise, azure, cobalt, a wink of silver. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen—my memories.
“Elena?” I say her name, mainly to root myself in the now.
“Yes?” She begins to remove the round sensors from my forehead.
“I—” I don’t know how to talk for a second. Reliving all that…I feel exposed, raw, and I have an urge to burst into tears.
Elena’s blue eyes meet mine. “Are you okay?”
I swallow, eventually finding the strength to nod, to speak. “Yes, I think so.”
She watches me a moment longer. “Good, because we must go on.”
“On?”
“Yes, while your mind is still penetrable. I’m going to give you a Dreamer.”
My muscles tense. “I think I need to rest for a second.”
“Unfortunately we don’t have time for that, and all your vitals are reading normal. This Dreamer will be quick. His experiences are necessary to prepare you for what Cato has planned for your announcement tomorrow.”
