by Tina Beckett
“Isn’t it?”
Maybe he felt the same way as she did. That he didn’t have a right to say anything without her permission. If that was the case, then she was grateful. “Like I told you earlier, no one knows but Bonnie and my doctor. And you. I plan on keeping it that way for a while. I’d appreciate if you did the same.”
“I have no intention of telling anyone.”
She should be grateful for that. Instead, a zing of pain went through her at his tone. He certainly hadn’t signed up for a pregnancy when they’d had that one-night stand. But she hadn’t signed up for it either. She and Darrin had been together for a year without a single pregnancy scare. And yet one night with a stranger and bam! she was expecting not one but two babies. It couldn’t have come at a worse time.
“You are off the hook. In fact, I remember saying that once before. I don’t expect—or want—anything from you.”
Rafe stared at her for a minute as if she had two heads, then he reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her into an empty exam room. He whirled around as soon as the door closed. “Do you think that’s why I came here? To tell you I wanted nothing to do with the babies?”
There was a strange prickling sensation behind her eyes. “Isn’t it? Maybe it’s for the best anyway.”
“For who? You? Or the babies?”
“I don’t even know what’s going on with them yet—or if they’ll develop normally.”
“I haven’t asked outright yet, but I need to know. Are you considering terminating the pregnancy?” A muscle twitched in his cheek.
Did he want her to? Was that what his reaction was about? Hoping that he wasn’t going to have to deal with her and the babies?
She owed it to him to be honest, though. “No, actually, I’m not. I want to have them.”
Rafe’s eyes closed for the tiniest second. “Thank God.”
He wanted them? But a few seconds ago he’d been warning her about telling his family. “I don’t understand.”
“My brothers...” He took a step forward, threading his fingers through hers. “We’ve suffered a lot of loss.”
“Your parents.”
“Yes. It makes it hard for them—for me—to expect things to turn out well.” One side of his mouth went up. “And in my line of work you expect disaster to strike at any time. Maybe that’s why I went into epidemiology. So that I could make a difference...sound a warning before it’s too late. Something my brothers and I were not given.”
“Carmelita shared a little bit about what happened.”
His smile faded, even as he sighed. “Why am I not surprised? She’s been taking care of my brothers and me...for a very long time. So she thinks she can just poke her nose in wherever she wants to.”
“She loves you all. I’m sure she considers you part of her family.”
His fingers tightened on hers. “We consider her a part of ours as well.” His gaze slid to her midsection. “Enough about my brothers and Carmelita. So you’re feeling better?”
“Yes, thank goodness.”
He chuckled and tugged her in a little closer, sending a whoosh of surprise through her. “I liked the little parting gift you left me at your apartment. I guess I deserved that.”
“You did. Leaving a girl money after you spend the night with her is never a good idea. I hope you didn’t do that to anyone else.”
“No, you were the first one. The only one.”
The way he said those last three words sent a shiver through her, even as his other hand went up to her ponytail, tugging lightly on it. “I really was worried about you getting home.”
“Why that time?”
That muscle went to work in his cheek again. She thought he was going to brush off her question but then he said. “Because I didn’t expect to fall asleep that night.”
She blinked. But they’d done it how many times? It was a bit fuzzy in her skull. She remembered a whole lot of pleasure coming one right after the other. So he didn’t normally do it more than once? Or he didn’t normally spend the entire night with his one-night stands?
Ha! Well, if they’d stopped at just once she probably wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place.
Rafe either drove his women home after he had sex with them, or they had their own car. Neither of which had been true that night.
“I guess I can forgive you, in that case.”
His cheek slid against hers, the slight stubble sending a jolt of surprise through her—and leaving a tingling awareness in its wake. Heat poured into her midsection, spreading quickly. Her nipples tightened in reaction.
“You forgive me? Are you sure?” he murmured. “Don’t you want to exact some type of revenge?”
“Revenge?”
She wanted to exact something, that was for sure. How could her hormones be racing a thousand miles a second when a few days ago she could barely walk without feeling like she needed to head for the nearest trashcan?
Maybe because this man was the sexiest thing she’d ever encountered. He’d been kind to her patients, and to her. But it was more than that. There was just something about him that got to her.
He’d fathered her babies. That had to be it.
Something more hovered at the edge of her thoughts, looking for a foothold. She gave her head a little shake to force it to go away. She was pregnant, and Rafe was a handsome man. Of course she was imagining things that weren’t real. That couldn’t be real. It was just the protective side of her looking for a caregiver for her babies.
Her babies did have a caregiver. Her. But Rafe had offered his help as well, and right now he was standing in front of her looking like he wanted to...
Like he wanted to kiss her.
CHAPTER NINE
RAFE KNEW HE was in trouble the second she looked up at him with those big blue eyes. Actually, he’d known he was in trouble the night he’d picked her up at the bar. He just hadn’t expected to ever have to face her again after that evening.
And yet here he was in an exam room, dying to kiss her.
He didn’t try to fight it, just lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. Not in fiery passion, the way they’d come together on those other two occasions, but more like...
Lovers.
Maybe it was the fact that she’d said she wanted to keep his babies. Maybe it was because with her face clean-scrubbed, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looked open and honest. He liked that. Maybe a little too much. Whatever it was, the second his mouth covered hers, he was lost.
He gathered the length of her hair in his hand, winding it around and around, feeling her head tip back as the slack disappeared. And that low hum of need she made...
Okay, that chased the sweetness of his touch toward something that was far less innocent. Rafe’s tongue slid across the seam of her lips. She parted them just enough that he had to push forward, her mouth closing around him in a way that said his thoughts weren’t the only ones veering into oncoming traffic, dodging all the things that told him to stop, but were instead plowing recklessly ahead. It was exhilarating. And terrifying.
“Cass?” He kept his mouth against hers, hoping against hope that no one was about to burst into the room. Maybe they should take this somewhere else.
“Mmm?”
“Are you still on duty?”
“Just getting off. And you?”
His body clenched at her phrasing, his hands going to her ass and tilting her into him. “Not quite yet, but my thoughts are definitely headed in that direction.”
“And are you ready to? Get off?” She bit his lower lip with enough force to make him hiss in a breath.
All thoughts of going somewhere else fled as raw need hit him with a crushing force. “What do you think?”
“I think we might be able
to make it work.”
The words percolated through his brain. Was she talking about the two of them making a relationship work? He hadn’t even thought about it, but suddenly he wondered why it would be so impossible.
She’s talking about sex, you idiot. Nothing else.
But the kernel had already taken root, like an infection that invaded one cell and then moved on to another. Doing his damnedest to ignore it, he took her mouth again, forcing his mind back to what he’d started, his libido suddenly whipping into high gear, wanting her like he’d never wanted any other woman.
He braced his back against the door and reached under her scrub top, trying to find the elastic of her pants. She pushed his hands away and did it for him, shoving the stretchy waist down to her knees.
“Your zipper,” she muttered, her fingers finding his button and deftly undoing it, while he was a shaking mass of nerve endings. She freed him within seconds.
Before he could even try to wonder how they were going to do this without her taking her bottoms all the way off, she turned away from him, pressing herself against his pelvis and then bending at the waist.
“Oh, hell.”
There was no need for condoms, and Rafe couldn’t remember the last time he’d been skin to skin with a woman. The heady scent of her arousal washed over him. It would only take a second...
Except it was true, it would only take him a second or two and he would be done. Gripping her left hip with one hand, he reached around and found her, pulled her tight against him and used his thumb to stroke and caress, wanting more than anything to be deep inside her.
And when she angled her hips and found him, he couldn’t fight it any longer. He thrust deep, still very aware of the need to barricade the door behind him. He leaned over and bit her earlobe. “I’m about to let the whole world know what we’re doing in here if my ass starts banging against the woodwork.”
She pushed hard against him. “How about if I do the banging?”
And she did. While he continued to tease her soft flesh, Cassie rocked her hips, taking him deep and setting up a punishing rhythm. Without being able to control the speed, he was fighting a losing battle. He gripped her hips tighter, trying to slow her just a little. Instead, her fingers slid over the ones that were working at the V of her thighs, helping him get the job done.
And that was it. He was over the top, gritting his teeth to keep from crying out just as the wet heat around him clenched tight, pulsing against him in a way that told him he wasn’t the only one who’d just leapt from that particular cliff. She kept moving several times more, her fingers slowing as she continued to contract, her breathing loud and irregular.
A few seconds later she gave a pained laugh. “God. I can’t believe we just did that.”
He couldn’t either. But he’d liked it. Liked that she’d trusted him enough to have a quickie in a hospital room. That she’d helped him fulfill the ultimate fantasy.
But not only that. She’d given him the first glimmer of hope in a world that had seemed very dark.
He loved her. And Rafe knew he would never be the same.
* * *
“You what?”
Three days later, Bonnie was in her apartment with a bag of microwave popcorn hanging loosely from one hand. Cassie took it before the woman dropped it. She leaned in closer so that Bonnie could hear her. “We had sex in an exam room.”
“Why are you whispering?”
The loud words made Cassie jump. And then laugh. “I have no idea. It was crazy and exciting. And I’m never doing it again.”
“You’re never having sex again?” Bonnie grabbed a bowl from a kitchen cabinet and waited while Cassie ripped into the bag of popped corn and dumped it into the container.
“You know what I mean. I’m never having sex at the hospital again.”
“Not even in his car? In the parking garage?”
The fact that her brain stopped to think through the ramifications and possibilities made her blow out a breath. “I am in so much trouble.”
“No. You’re not. But you could have been. Taking chances is so not like you, Cass.”
Her friend was right, it wasn’t. It was much more like something Bonnie would have done. What had gotten into her?
Besides Rafe.
That thought made her giggle again. Wow, something was misfiring in her head.
“Are you thinking dirty thoughts?”
“I think you have passed some terrible disease my way.”
Bonnie smiled. “I’ve heard women get horny when they’re pregnant. A lot.”
“I’ve been as sick as a dog.” Except she was feeling better.
“Evidently not sick enough to stop you from having sex in an exam room!”
“Why are you yelling?”
“Because I’m jealous. And happy for you.”
“Happy for...” She shook her head, dropping the bowl onto the countertop. “Don’t get any strange ideas. It was sex. That’s it.”
“And yet you made a baby. Two of them. And even after you found out about them, you’re still having sex with him.” Bonnie picked up the bowl and headed for the living room. “He’s not running. And neither are you.”
Her friend was right. She wasn’t running. And she should be. So should he. They had made the ultimate mistake, and yet they’d come together again like two horny adolescents. Maybe it really was the baby hormones pushing her to do things she shouldn’t.
What was Rafe’s excuse?
She followed Bonnie, chewing on those words. What was his excuse? He’d seemed happy that she was going to keep the babies. And minutes later he’d been bending her over and...
Well, she’d technically bent herself over. But that was neither here nor there. They’d had sex. Meaningful sex. Cassie couldn’t deny it. That first time she might have been able to blame Darrin’s infidelity, rationalizing that it had fueled a need to get even with him. But the second and third times? No, that had been all about Rafe. And wanting him.
The thought that had been skating around the edges of her skull for the last two days finally pierced her meninges and stabbed deep into her brain.
What the hell was she thinking? She couldn’t. There were too many potential landmines with that scenario. Rafe didn’t do commitment—he’d as much as admitted it. He slept with a different woman at least once a year. A woman he had no intention of ever seeing again. He was not the kind of stable, permanent figure she wanted in her life. In her babies’ lives.
Could she trust him to stick around for the long haul?
She didn’t think so. And that was the problem. She didn’t want her twins growing up the way she had, wondering if this home was going to last or if it was going to split apart at any second.
She wouldn’t put them through that.
It had been fun and sexy to sleep with him, but wasn’t she setting herself up for heartache by continuing down this road without asking some hard questions?
“Hey, daydreamer, did you hear me?”
“Um, no, sorry. What did you say?” She forced her mind back to Bonnie, who was already sitting on her couch, her freshly painted toenails propped on the coffee table. Bonnie had declared that they both needed a girls’ night out, complete with mani-pedis, even though that was a luxury Cassie never allowed herself. Maybe she should crack open one of the beers in her refrigerator. What the hell was stopping her?
The same thing that was stopping her from hoping that what was going on between Rafe and her was something that could last.
An abundance of caution.
She was pregnant. No drinking for the next several months.
And Rafe?
She groaned out loud. She had the next few months to decide what to do about him. Or did she? Wouldn’t rushing ahead with a relationsh
ip be the worst kind of mistake? The same kind of mistake she’d made with Darrin?
“Cassie! I swear. Are you thinking about doing him again or something?”
“Oh, Bonnie, I’m sorry. Say it one more time. I promise I’m listening.”
Bonnie rolled her eyes. “I said do you want a horror or a comedy?”
“Can I have one of each?” Because the last two and a half months had contained elements of both. And she had no idea how to separate the two, or if she even could. All she knew was that she loved the man.
And she was terrified that she was going to pay for it in the worst possible way.
Bonnie touched her hand. “Oh, sweetie. I don’t know if I should congratulate you or express my deepest sympathies.”
Before she knew it, she was crying into her bowl of popcorn, looking at her freshly painted fuchsia nails and sobbing even harder. “I don’t know either.” She sniffed, accepting the tissue her friend handed her. “I’ll let you know when I do.”
Squeezing her hand and then releasing it, Bonnie picked up the movie. “I vote horror. It’ll give you less time to think and more time to scream.”
Cassie smiled and mopped her face before letting herself fall into the sofa cushions behind her. “Good idea. I think that’s just what the doctor ordered.”
“Great. Hold tight to those munchkins and get ready for the ride of your life.” Her friend nudged her with her elbow. “Wait. You’ve already had that, haven’t you?”
“Movie, Bonnie. Movie. No more cracks about my love life.”
She couldn’t take talking about it any more than she already had.
“Okay, but it won’t be easy.” She selected a movie from the choices on the screen and pressed play. “So all of the Valentino brothers are now taken, except one?”
“Bonnie...” She allowed a warning note to enter her voice, trying not to let her hopes jump too far ahead of her. Because Rafe wasn’t taken. Not by a long shot.
She wasn’t sure he ever wanted to be. But she needed to find out.
