by Kyndall, Kit
However, I hesitated with it in my hand. I shivered with delight at imagining Wayne’s expression when he saw me fucking Mickey. With some careful editing, I could remove all reference to his sister, thus preventing Wayne from realizing there had been a motive beyond desire leading to our sex tonight. I sat on the bed with the camera, going through the footage and leaving in the best parts, including the part about it killing my stepfather to know that a black man was taking my virginity.
By the time I was done, it was a twenty-minute video that was surprisingly discreet, but clear about what had gone on, and it was basically a big old “fuck you” to Wayne. It was a way to completely reject his ideals and his lifestyle. I had already planned to walk away from the Chastains anyway, now that I had my degree and had some money saved for a couple of months of living expenses. Leaving was no sacrifice, but rather than disappearing quietly, I’d be able to go out with a bang.
I giggled with delight as I searched through the writing desk the hotel provided, pleased to find envelopes and stationary, along with a couple of ink pens. I wrote him a brief, succinct note that simply said “To Wayne, From Gabriella. Enjoy.” I wanted to write more, to tell him what a dick he was, along with enumerating all the awful actions of his children over the years, but I reined in the impulse. It would be satisfactory, but it wouldn’t change anything. It could also keep him from watching the video, and I definitely wanted him to see that.
Assuming the hotel room was mine for the rest of the night, I went ahead and got in bed. I was tired from all the traveling I’d done, followed by the dancing, the sleeping pill, and the sex. Still, his scent haunted me and made it difficult to sleep for a little while. It was only when I cuddled up with the pillow Mickey had used that I was able to drift off to a deep sleep.
Chapter Three
Mykael
It had been three months since I had seen her, and I’d never expected to see her again. It was a shock when I walked into work that morning and saw curvy Gabriella sitting behind the reception desk of the law firm where I worked. I was a junior partner, so I wouldn’t have had anything to do with hiring her, but I can’t say I would have let her work there if I had known.
I wasn’t proud of the response, but that was my first impulse. My second was to turn and flee before she could see me, and my third was to man up and walk across the lobby to face her as she deserved. She wasn’t the one who’d behaved deplorably. No, that was me. I cleared my throat, struggling to hide my nerves as I faced her. “Hello, Gabriella.”
She jerked in surprise before her gaze moved from her computer to me. The flash of pleasure in her expression made my heart stutter, but when it faded to coolness, disappointment surged inside me. I couldn’t blame her for the reaction, but I really wished it had been strictly the first one, her instinctive reaction, that she had stuck with.
She had been happy to see me, at least for a moment. I wanted to see that expression on her face all the time. I’d spent the last three months fantasizing and thinking about her in various ways, trying to find a way to get her into my life, but ultimately always reaching the conclusion that I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to her, and I didn’t deserve her.
I had been such a bastard, planning to use and hurt her, and I didn’t deserve the reward of living happily ever after with my curvy black-haired beauty. She wasn’t mine, so I had tried to content myself with fantasies. I’d kept away from her, albeit with difficulty, and she hadn’t known how to trace me, so it had seemed like I would never see her again.
“When did you start working at Bristol, Williams & Watts?” Watts was the latest edition to the firm’s name, representing my mother, who was one of the three senior partners. She was the first African-American woman to hold the position, and she had proven herself a thousand times over to the white boys who ran the firm. I had high expectations to meet, and I’d always done my best to live up to the belief that I would be as good as my mother.
Instead, I had ended up an almost-rapist, so blinded by the need for revenge that I’d nearly hurt the woman across from me. Hell, I had hurt her. It had ended up in a blissful haze of sex that I still wasn’t entirely sure how had come about, but it had started in an ugly fashion, and I had deserved whatever she’d wanted to do to me. I certainly hadn’t deserved the gift of her virginity or her luscious body under mine.
Her expression was still frosty, but her tone wasn’t as cold as I expected or deserved. “This is my second day. I didn’t know you worked here, Mickey.”
“Mykael.” I gave her the name reluctantly. “Mykael Tyson Watts, junior partner. My mother is Nila Watts.”
Her eyes widened slightly, and I knew she must have either met or heard of my mother already. Mother was a legend in the firm, and even by her second day, it wasn’t out of the bounds of reality that she would have heard about the formidable woman on the top floor.
“Oh,” she said softly, looking away from me.
The way she drew her lower lip between her teeth to bite down as she considered something made my cock ache and my heart hurt. She seemed so uncertain, as though hurting and in desperate need of something that I didn’t know how to give. I would have done anything for her that I could, because I owed her that and because I wanted to do it, but I didn’t know what she needed. I was also too much of a coward to ask. “How have you been?” I asked in a husky voice.
Her eyes widened slightly, and she suddenly looked down. I couldn’t see what she did behind the desk, but whatever it was made her body language change. There was fear and uncertainty clinging to her. “Could we have lunch together please, Mickey…Mykael?”
I wanted to refuse, to discourage any further attachment between us, because I knew she deserved better. I couldn’t though, not in the face of her asking, her pleading eyes, and my own need to spend more time with her. “I’d like that. Why don’t you come up to my office, and we’ll eat there?”
I guessed she wanted to talk to me, and my office would offer privacy. Privacy for all kinds of things besides talking, and I couldn’t suppress a surge of arousal at the idea that just maybe, our lunch meeting would end with no clothes. I didn’t deserve her, but if she was selfless enough to offer herself to me, I didn’t have enough strength to turn her away.
***
Gabriella
I knocked softly on his door promptly at twelve-oh-one. I would have been right on time, but there had been a rush at the elevators, and I’d had to wait for the second round up. I was so nervous, and my stomach surged with nausea, but that was an everyday occurrence for me these days. I didn’t know how much was nerves, and how much was something else.
A second later, he opened the door himself rather than just calling me in, and I slipped through the doorway, reassured when it closed behind me with a click. I was a little nervous when I heard the lock engage, but I didn’t know why. He certainly wasn’t going to hurt me, though I didn’t know how he would greet my news.
I followed him across the office, admiring the size. This was just the junior partner suite, so I could only imagine how fancy the top floor offices were. I hadn’t been up there yet, and I had no reason to go as the lowly receptionist, so I would have to content myself with imagining. Not that I’d bothered to do so. I truly didn’t give a damn what the senior partners’ offices looked like.
Chinese food waited for us on a low table near a couch, clearly set up to be a nonthreatening and welcoming place for business discussions or client meetings. I took one look at the food, and bile surged up my throat. I clamped a hand over my mouth. He seemed to realize I was about to throw up, because he steered me directly toward a small lavatory in the corner of his office. It was basic, just a sink and toilet, but it was just what I needed at the moment. I dropped to my knees and assumed the familiar position as I emptied the contents of my stomach. I hated throwing up, though I should be used to it by now.
When I was done, I leaned back, feeling shaky, and was reassured by the solid presence of him kneeling
behind me to keep me upright. A wet paper towel touched my forehead and my cheeks before he tenderly wiped my mouth and threw it away in the wicker wastebasket.
He didn’t wait for me to get to my feet. Instead, Mykael lifted me into his arms and carried me out of the lavatory to the couch, where he laid me down gently. I was drained, limper than a wet dishrag, and I stared up at him with no energy. I don’t think I even had to tell him, because I’m sure he had worked it out for himself by then, but I still said the words softly. “I’m pregnant, Mykael.”
I gave him points for not flinching. His expression tightened, and I was certain I saw fear in his eyes, but his voice was tender and soothing, as were his fingers when they stroked over my forehead.
“I had guessed that, Gabriella.”
I gave him further points for not asking if it was his. Of course it was his, but I suppose most men would have questioned it anyway. After all, we’d only spent one night together three months ago. I could have slept with anyone between then and now. I hadn’t, and I appreciated he realized that.
“I’m sorry I didn’t use protection that night. I guess I just assumed you were taking the pill, and I wasn’t really thinking at all.”
I managed a wan smile. “Like I said, I don’t take unnecessary medication. I tried the pill as a teenager to regulate my periods, but it gave me awful side effects. I didn’t even think about this as a consequence until my period didn’t come. By then, I had no idea how to get hold of you. You wouldn’t believe how many guys there are with the first name Mickey in this city.” I managed to interject a hint of teasing in my tired tone.
“And I’m not even a Mickey.” He shook his head, looking disgusted. “I’m sorry. The very least I should have done was leave my business card or some way for you to get hold of me. I thought it would be better for both of us if we just left things as they were, so I owe you another apology. More than one.”
I took his hand, squeezing gently. “Let’s just ease off the apologies, okay? The important thing is we reconnected, and now you know about the baby. I don’t know what kind of role you would like, and I’m open to letting you decide that. If you don’t want anything to do with us, that’s your choice. You can have visitation, if you’d like. Of course, I’m sure you’ll need some time to think about it to decide what you want to do.”
His brow furrowed, and he looked angry. “I don’t need any time to think about it. I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to marry you and help raise our baby.”
I almost rolled my eyes. His words struck a chord in me, and I wanted to embrace them, but there was no way I was going to let him sacrifice himself for a loveless marriage just to help raise our child. I deserved better than an obligatory spouse. “We aren’t getting married, Mickey…Mykael. People don’t get married just because they’re having a baby these days.”
“I do.”
“Then you’re going to have to marry yourself,” I said tartly. “I’m not going to marry someone I’m not in love with just because we screwed up and didn’t keep your sperm from meeting my egg.” He scowled down to me, the full weight of his personality weighing on me, and I could see he was probably a fierce attorney.
“You’re going to marry me, and that’s the end of it.”
I laughed harshly, shaking my head. “I’m not going to marry you, and that’s the end of it. If you want to marry me, then you have to do this the old-fashioned way, like most people. We’re going to have to date and see if we have anything in common before we even think about jumping into something as permanent as marriage.”
“Gabriella,” he said in a warning tone.
“Mykael,” I said in the same tone, though I let my frustration show more clearly. “Stop badgering me and feed me some lunch. I’m starving.”
His eyes widened, and my words must have distracted him. “But you just threw up everywhere.”
“Not everywhere. I just happened to throw up everything in my stomach. Ergo, it’s empty again, so I have to fill it up. Being pregnant is messed up, and right now I’m starving. In two hours, I’ll probably throw it all up again. In the meantime, past the Mushu pork.”
***
Mykael
I watched in shock at the sheer amount of food disappearing between her plump pink lips. I had no idea how she could eat like that considering she had just lost everything in her stomach less than twenty minutes before. It must have had something to do with being pregnant, as she had said.
Pregnant. The word made me pause, almost stumble in my thoughts, and I stopped talking. I don’t even know what we had been discussing, but it was something lighthearted and unimportant. As the shock soaked into me again, and I struggled to comprehend and accept it, my gaze dropped to her stomach.
I couldn’t see any signs of pregnancy yet, except I was sure her breasts were larger, straining against the white button-down blouse she wore under the jacket she had removed. I had the strongest urge to reach over and unbutton it, to feel for myself and see the changes. My cock twitched in my pants, but that reaction faded when I contemplated why her breasts were larger.
My baby was inside her, a baby I’d sure never intended to give her, and one I was doubtful that she wanted. Under the circumstances, it must have been the last thing she had anticipated, and I was surprised she hadn’t decided to abort. On the tail of that thought came a rush of relief that I wouldn’t have expected. I was pro-choice and supportive of a woman’s rights to make that decision, but when it came to my child, I found myself fiercely glad that she hadn’t terminated.
The silence lengthened, and I was aware of her staring at me in confusion, but I couldn’t seem to bring order to the chaos of my thoughts. “You’re pregnant,” I said stupidly. She nodded at me like I was a special snowflake before taking another bite of chow mein. I couldn’t help a small smile that suddenly turned into a huge grin. “I mean you’re having a baby.”
She looked either amused or exasperated, and I thought perhaps a mixture of the two. “Yes, that’s usually how it progresses.”
I frowned. “Usually? Is something wrong?”
Gabriella looked surprised. “No, not at all. I had an ultrasound at eight weeks when I saw the midwife for the first time. Would you like to see the picture?” She made the offer in a shy fashion, clearly uncertain how I would respond.
“Yes.”
She stopped eating long enough to reach into the bag she had brought with her, seeming to know right where she was looking, because it took her no time at all to pull out a little black and white picture that she handed to me.
I took it with trembling hands, unreasonably nervous at the first sight of my child. I looked down and saw a squiggly little blob of white on black. “That’s a baby?” I asked doubtfully. Then I feared she might interpret my question as an expression of disbelief, or an accusation that she was trying to scam me.
Fortunately, she must have realized I was just uneducated about such things, because she started laughing. “That’s what the midwife tells me, but I have to admit it doesn’t like much like a baby to me either. I expect to see a lot more at the next ultrasound.”
“When will that be?” I was already mentally clearing my calendar.
“At twenty weeks, so seven weeks from now.”
I nodded, reaching for my phone to input the data. “Do you know the exact time and date yet?”
Hesitantly she gave it to me, looking confused.
After I put it in, I nodded. “I’ll take you.” Seeing the apprehension in her expression, I dialed it down a bit. “I mean I would like to come along, if that’s okay?”
Slowly, she nodded. “Yes, that would be nice. I mean if you want to. You don’t have to feel obligated to—”
I glared at her before she could finish that sentence. “I’m obligated simply because half of my genetic material made up our child. You’re not forcing me to do anything, so please stop acting like you are. I know it wasn’t planned, and I’m sorry you ended up in the situation, but
now that we’re in this, we’re in it together. Okay?”
She gave me a thoughtful look before she nodded. A second later, her stomach rumbled, and I reached for the trash can nearby as a precaution. Apparently, it was just signaling the need for more fuel, because she started eating again. Finally, I picked up a container of sweet-and-sour pork and tried to focus on eating as the shift in my reality sank in.
I was going to be a father, Gabriella was going to be its mother. I barely knew her, and that was a mutual situation, but I had a good feeling she would be an excellent mother for our child. I didn’t have such a good feeling about my family’s reaction to her.
Annika would be well within her rights to want nothing to do with anything even remotely touching the Chastain family, and my mother was bound to hate her too. Not just because she was a Chastain, but also because she was a white girl working as a receptionist.
It suddenly struck me as absurdly funny in a dark way that Gabriella’s stepfather and my mother actually had something in common. They were both against the idea of dating or marrying outside of one’s race, and my mother was further hung up on the need for someone to be professional and successful.
She would regard Gabriella’s bachelor’s degree as worth little more than a high school diploma. In my mother’s view, she wouldn’t garner respect with anything less than a Master’s degree in her chosen field or an M.B.A. That she was working at the firm in one of the lowest-paid positions requiring the least education and experience would certainly appall my mother.
I braced myself for the fight ahead, deciding I would focus on Mother and Annika later, after I had won over Gabriella. She had to be my primary focus, and I had to get her to trust me if I wanted to be part of my child’s life.
“Would you like to have dinner tonight?”
She shook her head. “No.”
I frowned at her. “Do you have plans? Can they be changed? I think us getting to know each other is very important, don’t you?” Since she was being so stubborn and wouldn’t just let me do the right thing and marry her, I was going to have to do it her way. That meant dating before I convinced her to take my ring and my name, and if she was going to be resistant to spending time together, it seemed like a doomed endeavor.
