He offered her a tentative smile as he stopped a few feet in front of her. Awkwardness filled the space between them. In the past, when they were just friends, he’d have kissed her cheek in a friendly, familiar greeting. Only a couple of weeks ago, he’d have pulled her into his arms and locked his lips with hers, sparking shivers of awareness all over her body.
But things had changed. Not the reaction of her body, but...
“Hi, Bailey,” he said, his voice low. Those two words sounded so loaded the hairs on her arms stood to attention.
“Hi.” As much as she hated to admit it, it felt good to see him. So many times over the last week, she’d almost picked up the phone and called him, but common sense had gotten the better of her every single time. They needed to set up boundaries. She needed to keep a wall around her to protect her heart.
“Shall we go in?” He gestured to the door behind them.
She nodded and he stepped past her, holding it open for her as he might do for any old stranger, no touching the small of her back as he’d done on previous occasions. Bailey felt both relieved and disappointed about this and wished her thoughts would stop being so contrary. As was their routine, Quinn went and sat in the row of plastic chairs and she went over to the reception desk to register their arrival.
“We’re running a little late today,” apologized the lady behind the desk. “You’ll have to wait about half an hour.”
“Okay.” Bailey smiled and nodded, when in reality she wanted to lean over the desk, grab this woman by her collar and demand they go in right this second. Her bladder would burst within the next thirty minutes, but more important, she would have to sit alongside Quinn, breathing in his intoxicating scent and making conversation, while they waited.
He looked up from the sports magazine he’d been flicking through as she approached.
“They’re behind schedule,” she said as she tried to work out where to park herself. Only the seats on either side of him were free, so she didn’t have much choice unless she wanted to sit on the other side of the room. That would be childish.
“Are you alright?” he asked as she lowered herself into the seat on his left. Getting up and down became more of a challenge every day. He placed a steadying palm on her arm and she startled as if he’d struck her with a match.
“Sorry.” He held up his hands and leaned back in his seat.
“I’m fine,” she said through gritted teeth as she folded her hands on her belly and tried to relax.
They sat in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity, but the clock above the reception desk told her only eight and a half minutes had passed. Bailey tried to think of everything but Quinn and her bladder; failing dismally on both accounts.
He was the first to break the silence. “How’ve you been the last couple of weeks?”
How had she been? What kind of dumb-ass question was that?
Truth was, she hadn’t been feeling the best over the last few days—she’d experienced a little tightening and a slight pain in her abdomen and hoped it wasn’t a sign of early labor—but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She put it down to stress—caused by him. “Much the same as any woman twenty-two weeks pregnant with twins who works full-time would feel, I imagine.”
“You know you don’t have to work full-time,” he said. “We’ll need to work out some kind of child support payments when the twins are born, and I don’t mind helping you out before then, either.”
“Maybe I want to work,” she snapped. “It keeps my mind off other things.”
Quinn inhaled and exhaled loudly as if losing his patience with her. “Of course, whatever you want. I just wanted you to know the option is there. I’m here to help in any way you need.”
When their usual sonographer came out into the waiting room, Bailey’s heart leaped, but Sherry called out another name, and another couple—who looked nauseatingly happy together—stood and followed her.
“While we’re waiting, we may as well start talking about what we’re going to do when the twins are born,” Quinn said. “Discuss possible custody arrangements.”
The phrase custody arrangements made her skin crawl. “Obviously I’ll have full custody for at least the first year while they’re nursing. After that...” Her voice trailed off. She didn’t want to think about after that. She hadn’t even met the twins and already she couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from them while they went to their father. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes.
“No.”
It took a second for Quinn’s one word to register. She turned her head to glare at him. “What do you mean no?”
“I’m a big supporter of breast-feeding, and if that all works out well, then of course I want our boys to get what’s best, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be there to help with the burping and diaper changing, or to give you a break when you need one. So, either I move in with you, or you move in with me for the first year of their lives.”
What the heck? She was about to ask this question when a man called, “Miss Sawyer?”
“That’s us,” Quinn said, standing and offering her his hand. Befuddled, she took it without thinking, a jolt of awareness shooting up her arm as he assisted her out of the seat.
Annoyed at herself as much as at him, she snatched her hand from his and followed the man down the corridor and into one of the rooms.
“Hi,” he said, offering his hand first to Bailey and then to Quinn. “I’m Cameron, one of the sonographers here. I see you’ve been coming for regular scans, so it’s a surprise we haven’t met yet.”
“Nice to meet you.” Quinn shook the other man’s hand. “This is Bailey and I’m Quinn.”
“I guess you guys know the drill,” Cameron said, gesturing for Bailey to climb up on the table.
She did so, feeling strangely unsettled.
Cameron wasn’t as chatty as Sherry and he got straight down to business. Within a few seconds of his smearing the gel on her swollen belly, Bailey heard the thump-thump-thump of her babies’ hearts and some of her anxiety lifted a little.
“Is it just me or is one baby bigger than the other?” Quinn leaned toward her as he peered over her at the computer screen. While her hormones inhaled deeply like wanton hussies, she tried to be annoyed by this invasion of personal space.
The sonographer gave a clearly awkward smile and nodded. “Yes, very astute. We have seen a significant growth in one fetus over the last week and none in the other. I’m going to see if there’s a doctor available. Back in a moment.”
As Cameron put the probe back in its holder and started out of the room, Bailey snapped her head to look at Quinn. His usually smooth brow was creased as his gaze met hers. Suddenly she found it difficult to breathe. Was something wrong with one of the twins?
“They...were...fine...last week,” she managed, too scared to even cry.
“It’ll be alright.” He leaned toward her, wrapped his arm around her and drew her into his warm body. His other hand took hold of hers and squeezed. “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”
They didn’t speak as they waited, but Bailey couldn’t be disappointed that Quinn was here. She ignored the voice inside her that told her not to accept his comfort and support, because right now he was the only person in the world who could have any idea how scared she felt. She’d seen the terror in his face, too.
After what seemed like an eternity, Cameron returned with Doctor Mackie, her ob-gyn, whom she’d been seeing monthly, and Bailey could have kissed him. How lucky that her own doctor just happened to be on duty.
“Hi, Bailey. Hi, Quinn,” the doctor said as he picked up the ultrasound probe. “Do you mind if I take a little look?” It was a rhetorical question, and neither Bailey nor Quinn said anything as he squeezed on more gel and then pressed the probe against her belly.
As he examined her, his eyes narrowed and he scrutinized the images on the screen. Bailey held her breath and clung to Quinn’s hand as if it were a lifeline, trying to read the expression on the doctor’s face.
Finally, he spoke. “I’m sorry to say that it looks like your fetuses are suffering from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome.”
Quinn’s grip on her hand tightened.
“But they were fine last week,” she protested, not wanting to hear another word of what could only be bad news. She didn’t need to ask what this meant, they’d been warned that sometimes, in the case of identical twins who shared the same placenta, there was an unequal flow of blood between the fetuses, causing one twin to thrive while the other did not.
Dr. Mackie bowed his head. “With monochorionic twins the in-utero situation can change quickly, and issues with the placenta are always a possibility. That’s why you’ve been having weekly scans.” He pointed to the screen at what Bailey could now clearly see was the smaller twin. Her stomach clenched. “See how twin one has a lot more amniotic fluid around him than twin two? Everything I’m seeing indicates that you are in stage one TTTS.”
“So what exactly does this mean for Bailey and our babies?” Quinn asked, the confidence he usually spoke with noticeably absent.
“I’m going to urgently refer you to Doctor Linda Kowalski, a specialist who deals with TTTS. She will discuss your options going forward and talk about the possibility of placental laser surgery if things continue to head in this direction.”
Quinn nodded. “Thank you. And in the meantime, is there anything Bailey should or shouldn’t do to help the situation? Anything I can do to help?”
She was glad Quinn asked because the lump that had formed in her throat made it impossible for her to speak.
Dr. Mackie offered her a paper towel to wipe her belly, before straightening and clearing his throat. “I don’t want you to stress too much at this stage. Dr. Kowalski will provide a care plan going forward, but I’d advise continuing to eat nutritiously, especially foods high in protein, and getting plenty of liquids and bed rest.” He looked to Quinn and winked. “If Bailey is feeling amorous, there’s no need to abstain, but I’d suggest she takes the reins and goes on top, so as not to put too much pressure on the cervix. But if Mom’s feeling good, the babies will, as well.”
Oh. My. Lord. She guessed the doctor was merely trying to lighten things up a little, but thinking about sex with Quinn was the last thing she needed right now. Her cheeks scorching, she couldn’t look any of the men in the room in the eye, least of all him.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” she blurted, extracting her hand from his.
“Of course.” Dr. Mackie smiled as he stepped back to give her room to climb off the table. “I’ll write your referral and pass it on to Quinn. See you soon.”
Bailey couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. She closed the bathroom door behind her and the tears she’d been too shocked to cry until now tumbled free and down her cheeks. Letting them fall, she sat there and hugged her arms around her belly, the fear for the tiny lives inside her squeezing the breath from her lungs.
What else did life want to throw at her?
She would do anything right now if it allowed both her babies to thrive—but what could she do? The feeling of being utterly powerless was like no devastation she’d ever felt before.
A while later, she couldn’t be sure how long, the doors to the restrooms opened and Quinn’s voice immediately followed. “Bails, are you in there?”
She opened her mouth to call out, to tell him to leave, but only a guttural sob escaped. Two seconds later his head appeared over the cubicle door. Instead of freaking out about him seeing her in such a state, she welcomed the sight of him.
Her eyes locked with his. “I’m scared, Quinn.”
* * *
Standing on tippy-toes, Quinn looked down over the top of the cubicle door at Bailey and swallowed. Was this his fault? Had the stress she’d been under these last couple of weeks somehow triggered this?
“That’s understandable,” he said, trying to contain his own emotion. He needed to be strong for her. “But at least they’ve picked it up early. Dr. Kowalski sounds like she will know what to do. I’m sure it’ll be okay. Come on, open the door.”
She nodded slowly and Quinn stepped back, giving her a moment to pull herself together. Well aware he shouldn’t be in the women’s restroom, he didn’t retreat but instead waited while Bailey flushed the toilet and unlocked the door. He wasn’t about to leave her alone again. She stepped out, hitched her purse up on her shoulder and looked to him, her eyes red with thick black around them where her mascara had run. Her cheeks were blotchy and damp.
He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms—he didn’t want her to accuse him of taking advantage of their awful situation, although he did hope that maybe their shared concern would somehow bring them closer together. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”
“I just need to wash my hands.” She sniffed, stepped up to the vanity and glanced into the mirror as she turned on the taps. “God, what a sight!”
He swallowed. What was the right thing to say in this situation? He honestly thought her gorgeous, even in this forlorn and helpless state, but saying anything of the sort might sound like a come-on. He’d seen her horror when Dr. Mackie had mentioned sex and he didn’t want to upset her any further. Perhaps it was best to not say anything at all.
“Would you like me to wait outside for you?” he asked.
She met his gaze in the mirror and nodded. “Thank you. I won’t be a moment.”
At least she hadn’t told him to get lost, he thought as he opened the door and stepped into the corridor. He wanted to be there for her—he wanted them to be there for each other—but it was so hard to know how to navigate such a thing when their last few conversations had been like battles between warring countries.
After a few more moments of tapping his feet, Bailey appeared. “Thanks for waiting,” she said, obviously trying to sound strong and collected. Although she’d clearly washed her face and reapplied her makeup, she couldn’t hide her vulnerability from him. She lifted a hand to push some hair back out her eye and he noticed her hand shaking.
No way could he let her drive home in this agitated state. They’d intended to go to a café to talk about the future, but the logistics of how they would parent didn’t seem as pressing right now. All he wanted was to see her home safely. To make sure she did as she was told and got some rest.
“Let me drive you home,” he said, expecting her to object. When she simply nodded, he took her hand and started toward the clinic exit. “I’ll have Mac come pick me up from your place and collect my car later.”
Whether she heard or not, she didn’t comment, and she didn’t yank her hand from his, either, which just went to show how worried she was. He didn’t want to take advantage of this situation, but he couldn’t help enjoying the feel of her hand in his once again. The word right came to mind, and he knew he had to do whatever it took to get her to see that they were supposed to be together. As a couple. As a family.
“Where are you parked?” he asked as they emerged onto the street.
“Just round the corner.” She dug her keys out of her purse and handed them to him. “I feel stupid letting you drive, but I’m feeling a little distracted. Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
“Yes. I’m fine. Don’t get me wrong, the news of the TTTS scares the bejeesus out of me, but I’m not the one carrying the babies.”
“I’m sorry.” Her words came out on another sob. “My stupid body is failing them.”
“That is not true,” he said, coming to a halt and turning her to face him. Without thinking, he put his hand against her cheek and forced her to look into his eyes as he spoke. “This is not your fault. You can’t think like that. We
need to stay positive, for the twins.”
“I know,” she whispered, her eyes watering once again. “I just wish there was something I could do. They’re my babies. I’m supposed to be able to look after them.”
Her babies, her responsibility—her words killed him, but he wasn’t about to get in an argument right now.
“Then let’s get you home and resting. Come on.” He dropped his hand and continued to walk alongside her, mourning the loss of body contact but unable to touch her with the knowledge that she was only letting him do so because she was in a vulnerable state.
They reached the car and he helped her into her seat, then jogged round and climbed in himself. He turned the key in the ignition and the sultry sounds of a local band drifted out of the radio. Bailey barely seemed to notice, and although the music wasn’t to Quinn’s usual taste, at least it filled what would otherwise likely be awkward silence. He’d wanted more than anything to spend some time alone with her again, but he hadn’t wished it to be like this.
Fate could be a cruel bastard sometimes.
It seemed to take forever to get back to Jewell Rock, and when he pulled into her apartment’s parking lot, she turned and hit him with her magic smile, but the light in her eyes wasn’t as strong as usual. “Do you mind coming in for a bit?” She paused and rubbed her lips one over the other. “I don’t really feel like being alone right now.”
“Of course.” He’d make her a hot chocolate and something to eat, get her settled in front of a feel-good movie and then retreat to a dark corner to digest this terrifying news.
“Thank you.”
They walked solemnly to her front door.
Pregnant by Mr. Wrong Page 16
