by Sandra Owens
She lifted, standing on the mattress, and wiggled out of her last piece of clothing. His gaze traveled from her knees up to all the other parts of her. He noted in passing that her pubic hair was a different color than the hair on her head, more of a reddish tint to it than the honey blonde. At the moment, he didn’t care if her curls were neon green.
“Sugar,” he rasped, and slid his hands up her calves to the back of her knees. “Come down here and lay your body over mine.”
Sugar gazed down at Jamie as she stood over him, wondering where the courage to be some kind of sex kitten came from. But she did know. It was him. His kind touch, the softness in his eyes when he looked at her, his laughter joining hers over their silliness. She stole her courage from him, from the beautiful soul that resided inside him.
As she lowered herself over his legs, she stared into his eyes, memorizing the way they turned to a blue so velvety dark she was reminded of midnight. In the nights to come when she was in some other city, in some other state, she’d walk outside at the stroke of twelve, gaze up at the velvet night sky, and think of him.
Always him.
Time was running out, though. “Are you ready for me?”
“In a sec.” He grabbed the condom from the nightstand, and she watched as he rolled it on. For some reason, seeing him do that was just damn sexy.
“Now?” she asked when he finished and looked up at her with those angel eyes of his. At his nod, she slid up the length of him and waited for him to take over because she didn’t know what to do next. Although she’d carefully kept her gaze off the part of him he would soon put in her, it was there in her peripheral vision, and it hadn’t gotten any smaller since the last time she’d seen it. Her stomach lurched. What was wrong with her? Hadn’t she just been studying it not five minutes ago, claiming it wasn’t scary after all?
Stop being a baby, Sugar. Hannah did this before, not you. Just remember that.
To prove—if only to herself—she was no longer Hannah, Sugar gathered her courage and looked down, right at his erection, and her only reaction was fascination with the way it seemed to point at her.
Pleased with herself, Sugar smiled and lifted up. “What now? I just impale myself on you?”
“Tell you what,” Jamie said. “I’m just going to lie here and see what you decide to do next. Just know this, Sugar. Whatever you decide, I won’t hurt you. If it helps in your decision to know I might die if you end up hanging your head in the toilet again because of me . . .” His smile melted her heart like chocolate left in the hot sun. “. . . I’ll leave. Even though it will kill me. My favorite flowers are . . .” he slid a hand up, from her knee to her hip, “. . . wildflowers. Send a batch of those to my funeral.”
“You’d best not leave or die. Shut up, Jamie.” If she hadn’t loved him before, she would’ve tumbled head over heels that very second. He really would leave if she asked him to, and he’d do it without laying a hand on her in anger. The nerves she’d been battling since he’d removed his clothes disappeared, and she wrapped her hand around him, and lowered herself down.
“Just know this, Jamie Turner. You’re not going anywhere. At least, not tonight.” He filled her, and it didn’t hurt! There were miracles still to be had in this world after all.
“Why the tears?” he asked as he reached up with both hands and brushed his thumbs over her cheeks.
So gentle his touch was. “Jamie,” she whispered, and bent over him until their mouths were locked together.
His hands settled on her waist, and his fingers pressed into her skin, supporting her weight as he helped her lift up, then easing as she came back down. Up and down she went on him, finding a rhythm that seemed to excite him if his low growl was any indication.
By all that was holy, she’d never felt anything so good as having Jamie filling her, never dreamed a man could pleasure her into incoherency. Had never felt so complete. The tears continued to fall, and she couldn’t stop them.
“Why, Sugar?” he asked, returning his fingers to her face, catching the watery drops.
“Happiness, that’s all.” And knowing I’ll never see you again after tonight. The crisp hairs on his thighs rubbed against her sensitive skin as she moved steadily over him, and it was like she was a harp, and her strings were being plucked to create a masterpiece, one that would never be heard outside her bedroom. She’d never in her life been so sad and so happy at the same time.
Suddenly, he flipped her and loomed over her. “Can I take it from here?”
“Yes, please.” The blue of his eyes turned three shades darker, and just seeing how his desire for her changed their color did funny things to her heart.
“Thank you.” He rocked against her, burying himself deeper. “Sugar,” he whispered, then wrapped his lips around the nipple of her breast and sucked.
Red-hot fire spiraled through her, sending what felt like molten lava to the very core of her. If she burned to a crisp, she would welcome it. She raised her legs, bracing her feet on the mattress. His hands found their way under her, cupping her bottom, and he moved his mouth to the opposite nipple.
“Ahhh.” Long past forming coherent words, Sugar gave herself over to the rush of pleasure streaming though her and met him thrust for thrust. Pressure built inside her starting at where they were joined, then raced through her, increasing to an unbearable level. The blood flowing through her veins hummed, her skin prickled, and her ears rang so loudly that she wondered if there was a church in the distance where someone was pulling on the bell ropes.
He’d pleasured her once before, bringing her to an amazing orgasm, but that one paled to this. Fearing she would shatter into irreparable pieces, she tried to hold back the oncoming tide of feelings threatening to consume her.
“No. Don’t go away. Stay with me.”
At the command in his voice, she opened her eyes. She caught his gaze and held it as stars, bright and shimmering, danced in her vision. A wave with the force of a tsunami crashed over her, through her, and deep inside her. It consumed her, then burned her, then healed her.
“Jamie!” Oh, God, Jamie.
“I know, sweetheart. I know.”
Something flickered in his eyes, something soft and meant just for her. Something she’d treasure forever. She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the shudders traveling through him as he climaxed inside her body. I love you. I love you, Jamie Turner. The words could never be said aloud, but they were there in her head, always would be.
The room settled into silence as their breathing calmed, and she greedily savored the last few minutes she’d have with him before finding the words to make him leave. His back was slick with the sweat of their lovemaking, and she glided her hands over his warm skin, wishing she could climb behind him and lick him dry.
I love you, she silently told him one last time. His body still covered hers, so strong and alluring. As much as she needed him gone . . . God, she didn’t want him to leave. If she could just curl up in his arms and pretend she didn’t know a man by the name of Rodney Vanders, she’d feel safe for the first time in years. Could she tell him just enough so he’d help her get away without being followed?
“Talk to me, sweetheart. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
The endearment about did her in, and she blinked against the tears burning her eyes. Once she got away, she’d never see him again, and that alone tempted her to confront Rodney just to put an end to everything. If she didn’t live through it—a strong possibility—then so be it.
Junior jumped onto the bed and bumped her shoulder with his head, wanting to be petted. If Rodney knew how much she loved the stray she’d taken in and given a home, he’d kill the poor thing and make her watch him doing it. It would be the last straw, the one to finally send her over the edge. No, she had to run. There was no other way.
Before the last minutes, she’d never have dreamed of as
king Jamie for anything, but there had been tenderness in his eyes for her, maybe even a little bit of caring. Enough to aid her without the explanations she couldn’t bring herself to give him? Only one way to find out.
“I have to disappear. Will you help me?”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jamie lifted onto his elbows and stared down at the woman who’d just given him the equivalent of an out-of-body experience. “That wasn’t at all what I expected you to say.”
The desperation in those beautiful eyes as Sugar asked for his help was next to impossible to resist, but she wasn’t going anywhere until he got answers. He slid his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on. Obviously clued in by his abrupt movements, she pulled the sheet up to her neck, warily watching him as if he might turn on her at any minute.
Did she really think he was no different from her lowlife Rodney Vanders? Did she believe he was the kind of man who would strike a woman? That hurt him as much as it angered him. Especially after the way he’d felt being with her. Never had he known anything like being with her, making love to her. He couldn’t compare it to any other woman. It had been like coming home.
The last time he’d felt like he was home had been ten years ago when he’d walked into the kitchen after spending the afternoon with his friends to find his mom taking double-chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. It had been the day before he’d gone and killed everyone he loved. He’d been stoned and suffering from a bad case of the munchies. Not waiting for them to cool, he’d grabbed a handful, and without even thanking her, had shut himself up in his room. Even all these years later, he could still see the worry in his mother’s eyes as he’d stumbled out of the room.
Shaking off the unwanted memory, he tugged his shirt over his head and moved to the chair. Her painting of the nude couple caught his attention, and he suddenly understood Sugar’s longing to know the kind of love shining from their eyes as they gazed at each other. For a brief moment there, he’d thought maybe he’d found it, and with a woman not at all like his mother, no less.
Fortunately, before he’d said something stupid he couldn’t take back, she’d reminded him that someone was after her, had apparently found her, and she could be in danger. But she couldn’t trust him with the truth. How would he even know if whatever story she told him was true?
“Who’s after you and why?” he asked, settling a cold gaze on her, when what he really wanted to do was return to the bed, wrap her in his arms, and promise he’d keep her safe. “What’s your real name, Sugar?”
Her gaze jerked to his at his last question, and as the light faded from her eyes, she pushed the cat aside and stood, dragging the sheet behind her as she disappeared down the hallway. With a disgruntled expression on his furry face at losing the warm lap, Junior blinked green eyes at him.
“Don’t look at me. I’m as clueless as you about what’s going on.”
“Mowwl,” Junior said, before leaping off the bed and scampering down the hall.
Jamie drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair for a moment, then rose and followed the witch and her familiar. If she couldn’t be honest with him, he couldn’t help her. In the living room, she stood, draped in the bedsheet, at her open front door.
He stopped in front of her, hissing out a frustrated breath. “Please, let me help you.”
Not only did she not respond, but she refused to look at him. Fine. He could take a hint. She wanted him gone and he was happy to oblige.
“Damnit,” he muttered when he hesitated with one foot out the door and one still in her condo. Don’t be stupid, Saint. Walk out and don’t look back. She obviously didn’t want his help, and he forced his feet to move forward.
He didn’t look back.
Sugar closed the door, sagging against it, and then followed it down when her legs decided they’d no longer keep her upright. Seated on the floor, she pressed her face between her knees when her lungs threatened to hyperventilate. He’d really left.
It shouldn’t surprise her. When he had asked her real name, she’d realized she would have to tell him everything or nothing. If she told him all, he would hate her and would leave anyway.
Nor was she willing to put the man she loved in the sights of Rodney, a venomous snake if there ever was one. Yet . . . and yet, as she listened to the sound of Jamie’s car fade away, she knew she’d made a mistake. She should have confessed all the shameful details, but she’d waited too long.
Finally getting air back into her lungs, she swiped at the tears and pushed herself up. It was done, and crying would solve nothing. She turned the deadlock, slipping on the chain. As always, she was alone. No problem. Hadn’t it been that way since she’d come home from school to find her mother sprawled out on the kitchen floor?
“Mawww.”
“You learn a new word, Junior?” She eyed him, sitting a few feet away, his tail twitching in agitation. Of course, he sensed her fear and needed reassurance all was well. Nothing was right, but she picked him up and stroked his chin.
“It’s all right, baby. How would ya feel about us taking a vacation? Maybe Arizona or New Mexico? I hear there’s lots of lizards in either state, so you’d like that, right?”
His purr sent calming vibrations through her, and she returned to the bedroom, with the only creature in the world who loved her, to pack what she would need to take. She’d get everything ready to go, and sometime after midnight, she’d load up her car and leave, hoping anyone supposedly watching her would be home in their bed, expecting her to be fast asleep in her own.
Before she left, she sent Maria an e-mail apologizing for accepting a job she couldn’t keep. Although her friend knew enough to understand, she didn’t know all. No one but Sugar and bad cop and bad cop did, and Sugar planned to keep it that way. It was the only way to protect her friends.
Everything she could take with her was piled by the door and one last time she roamed her apartment, saying good-bye to the things she’d have to leave behind. She considered taking the picture of her fake parents, but on reflection, decided she didn’t love them anymore. She’d find new parents for Nikki Swanson.
“Nikki Swanson.” She tested the name, listening to the sound of it on her tongue, getting used to hearing it. It was an okay name, but strangely, she’d miss Sugar Darling more than she’d ever missed Hannah Conley. Neither Nikki nor Hannah knew or would ever know a man called Saint.
With tears streaming down her cheeks, she loaded into her car the cat carrier with Junior in it, her laptop case, one suitcase for her, and a small tote with the things Junior would need. The oversized purse containing, among other things, her new identity and the cash she’d stashed for just such an emergency—along with an illegal gun—she tucked next to her.
Fortunately, Junior was an easy traveler, curling up and going to sleep as soon as she started the ignition. She circled the block a few times to make sure no one followed her. Although it hadn’t been her intention, she found herself turning down the road to Jamie’s house. She’d looked up his address on the K2 computer after their day on his boat.
Twice since then, she’d driven by when she knew he wasn’t home, and stared at the house that seemed like one straight out of the pages of a romance novel. White with royal-blue shutters and a porch that ran across the front, the damn thing even had a white picket fence with an arbor entrance covered by climbing pink roses. What man owned a house like that? Maybe one who needed to reconstruct a past life when he’d been happy?
After seeing it the first time, she’d fantasized about living there with Jamie, a stupid dream if ever there was one. She slowed for one last look at the home of the man she loved, her heart splintering like shattered glass at knowing she’d never see him again. The garage door was closed, and his car would be safely tucked inside, no evil lurking at his door.
For a split second, she considered parking, walking up the
steps, and throwing herself on his mercy, but she pushed her foot down on the pedal and sped past. He was too good a man to have her nasty troubles dumped on him.
“Good-bye, Jamie,” she said as the house disappeared from view.
At that time in the morning, I-10 West was as empty as her heart, not a soul to be seen ahead or behind her. As she traveled through Alabama, she kept an eye on her rearview mirror, but if anyone was following her, they were too clever for her to see them.
Leaving Alabama behind, she drove through Mississippi, then into Louisiana. When her tires ran over the rumble strip, she jerked her eyes open and gave a violent shake of her head. Time to find a motel and get some sleep before she ended up in the swamp lining the road. The upcoming exit only had a Burger King sign, so she drove past.
The next one had several fast-food restaurants and two motels. Exiting the interstate, she saw the McDonald’s sign was lit, and she turned into the drive-thru and ordered a large cup of coffee and one plain hamburger. Knowing the coffee would help to revitalize her, and that she was on the road that would take her into New Orleans, she decided to drive a little longer. When she reached the city limits, she picked the cheapest-looking motel with a name she’d never heard of. Once in the room, she tore the plain burger into pieces and set them on the dresser for Junior. Out of his cage, he jumped up and devoured them, then meeped for more.
“Sorry, kiddo, that’s all there is.” She removed a baking pan from the tote and poured a thin layer of litter into it, then stood back to see if Junior would use it. As his cat box was too big to fit into the bag, she’d thought herself rather ingenious to think of the pan. He circled it, sniffing the edges before sticking a paw in and digging at the litter. Seemingly satisfied with the make-do potty, he hopped in and squatted.
It would be a few hours before the bank opened and she could visit one of her three safety-deposit boxes spread out between Pensacola and San Antonio, five thousand dollars stashed in each one. It would have been nice if she could have gotten her money out of the Pensacola bank, but someday she would sneak back and get the cash she’d stashed there.
