Kyan swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing, floundering.
Julia shook her head and stood to hug Kaia. She looked at me, and I finally took Gray up on his offer to hold Ella.
I moved toward my mom. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”
At first, she just shook her head, covering her mouth with delicate fingers. When I held my arms out for her, she screamed, “No!” After a gasping breath, she whispered, “No, Abigail.”
I eased my hands out toward her, fingers trembling, salty tears dripping into my mouth. “They said he died fighting, and that he saved all the Lessers of Vesuvius, Mom.”
She shook her head and backed into the kitchen, bumping her back against the counter. “No.”
I gently crept toward her.
“No!” she roared. Kaia grabbed a glass dish off the counter beside her and launched it across the room. Thick pieces of porcelain crashed to the floor. “They took everything from me. They took... you, took me away from you.” She hiccupped. “They took him. They took everything.”
“I know.” Before she could grab another plate, I launched myself at her and hugged her until she collapsed against me, sobbing, and finally clinging to my back. We fell to the floor together and wept for all we’d lost, for all we’d been robbed of.
KAIA WAS BESIDE HERSELF. THEY all were. I felt guilty as hell. I was supposed to meet Adam by the creek. Maybe if I’d gotten to the lab earlier, I could’ve brought him home with me. Maybe the man who shot Adam would’ve already been infected and things would’ve changed.
Julia had gone home to prepare dinner. I was hungrier than I’d ever been in my life, but I told her I was fine. She either didn’t buy it or didn’t care. She was going to feed me, come Hell or high water. Kaia and Gray were taking care of baby Ella.
Abby had walked me out. She looked good. Tired, but good.
I was exhausted, dead on my feet, and I needed to change. Sure, I’d rinsed the suit out, but it was red and ugly. To tell the truth, it smelled questionable, too. The Lessers on the train all wore red, but none wore a guard suit. I’d seen their wary stares, but Bryce had calmed the masses and assured them I was Lesser. His word was proven when they looked at my eyes.
So, they’d settled down and put up with me until we reached Orchard. I bet a few were still glad to see me go.
When I jumped off the train, I ran to Julia. Then I wanted Abby to know I was alive. I could wash up and eat later. So, in that ugly, red suit, I ran to Abby’s cabin, Julia’s hand in mine, matching me step for step.
She knew I was alive. I’d gotten to see Ella and even hold her. So, I was outside Abby and Gray’s cabin, telling Abby I’d see her the next day. The first thing on my agenda was getting clean so I could eat and wrap myself up in Julia.
I hadn’t thought anything else about the suit until something stabbed me in the thigh. Reaching into the pocket, that something sliced into my finger. But I grabbed hold of it and eased it out.
Broken shards of glass, held together by a label. Orange with a bold, black G. An X slashed through the entire square of sticky paper.
“Oh, no. Oh, God.” My breath left in a whoosh.
“What’s that? You’re bleeding, Ky!” She reached for my hand.
“No. Don’t touch me!
I put distance between her and me but it was too late. Abby was too close. She’s part Lesser, right? She’ll be fine.
“This is the virus. I didn’t realize I still had a vial in my pocket. I think... shoot! I don’t know what to think. You could be infected! We need Evelyn. Now.”
She paused and looked back at the house. Ella was wailing. I could see the indecision on her brow.
“You can’t go near her, not until we know it won’t affect you or her. It could kill Kaia or Gray. I don’t know.” My voice broke. “I don’t know about you and Ella.”
“Ella?” Her voice was shrill and frantic.
“That’s why you can’t go back in there. Let’s go to Evelyn. We have to talk to her. Now!” I tried to pull her arm, but her eyes and attention were fixated on the cabin behind us.
Gray was on the porch.
She held her hand out, palm extended to him. “Stop. Go inside and don’t come out no matter what. Keep Ella safe.”
“What’s going—”
I held up the crushed vial.
Gray’s eyes filled with worry, then rage. He was going to kill me. Hell, I didn’t blame him.
I called out to him. “We’re going to Evelyn.”
“Kyan!” Gray yelled, pointing his finger at me. “You stay with her!”
“I promise. Tell Julia to stay inside! My comm’s on the counter.”
He nodded and then reluctantly stepped back inside the cabin, shutting us and the virus out. Abby and I walked as quickly as she could to Evelyn’s cabin.
“Abby Blue, I’m so sorry,” my voice cracked.
She squeezed my hand. “It’ll be okay. We made it this far. We made it home, so it has to be okay. Right? It has to.” She sounded like she was trying to make herself believe it, more than she was trying to reassure me. Her hand was trembling, and I knew we were in trouble. She knew it, too.
I was surprised she could walk so fast. We were almost jogging, and she’d just had a baby.
I hated that I missed Ella’s birth, but we had bigger problems than dwelling on regrets, especially if we wanted Abby to live long enough to make more of them herself.
My God, what if I killed her? What if I killed Abby Blue?
When we saw Evelyn’s cabin, her porch holding pots with blooming flowers and plants in every available space, I almost cried.
Abby was huffing and puffing.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, just not used to the exercise. I’ve gotten soft.” She was anything but soft. She was strong as steel.
“Evelyn?” I called out.
Evelyn’s door opened and she stepped onto her porch with a smile. That didn’t last long when she saw us all but running toward her.
“What’s the matter?”
My heart pounded. “I...” I swallowed. I couldn’t say it. I was going to break.
Abby saved me. “We have a problem. The Greater virus is here, and we’ve been exposed.” We stopped a few feet away. Abby must have felt the same as I did, and I didn’t know if she would be hurt.
Evelyn’s mouth gaped. “How’s it here?”
I held up the vial. “I broke it. I didn’t mean to. I forgot it was in my pocket, and the glass broke.”
“Tell me everything. Where were you and who was around when it broke?”
She stepped off the porch and came toward us. Out of reflex, I stepped back. Evelyn’s voice stopped me in my tracks. “I’m not a Greater, Kyan. It won’t hurt me. I need to talk to you, and I need to see that vial.”
I showed it to her, and she told me to dig a deep hole and bury it—quickly. A few feet away, I started digging. My fingers moved the earth like they were spades. And when I was sure it would be deep enough, I threw the remnants of the vial into the hole and covered it up.
“Burn your clothes. I’ll get you more, Kyan. But for now, you’ll have to stay here. I know the virus won’t hurt you, but you could spread it to others. You can’t go near any Greaters—even Julia.”
I nodded and Evelyn turned to Abby. “You can’t be near anyone either, even Ella and Gray. You’ll have to stay with me.”
“I know, but how will Ella eat?”
Evelyn smiled. “We’ve had babies around here long before Ella came along. Cow’s milk might not be ideal, but she’ll tolerate it, for now.”
She’d have to. And it was my fault.
I was ordered to burn my things and then go wash off. Evelyn swore she’d leave clothes by the lake before she shoved a bar of soap and a book of matches in my hand and told me to get.
WHEN KYAN DISAPPEARED AROUND THE house and had plenty of time to get out of ear-shot, I broke. “Evelyn, I can’t leave her. I can’t leave my baby. I can�
�t leave...”
I couldn’t breathe.
“Calm down and come inside. We’ll get through this. Maybe you won’t contract the illness. You are part Lesser.”
“But I’m part Greater, too.” I argued.
She ushered me inside the cabin. “This happened outside. Maybe you’ll be fine.”
Maybe? Maybe. Maybe wasn’t good enough. Maybe wasn’t comforting. Maybe was horrible. It was filled with empty promises, and stolen futures, and left babies without mothers. Maybe made orphans.
Though the windows let in some light, it was dark inside, and it smelled of burning sage. “Undress and put your clothes in the fire. I’ll bring a bit of water. You need to scrub your skin until it hurts. All of it.
I stripped my clothes off without modesty and threw them into the fire. The flames licked at them, and then consumed them and any trace of the thing that threatened the ones I loved. She brought a bowl of water, washing cloth, and a bar of soap a minute later. Scrubbing furiously, I tried my best to get clean, to wash away every remnant of the virus. My skin was red and angry. It stung but maybe it had helped.
There it was again, hanging in the air. Maybe.
I DIDN’T FEEL SICK. NOT for hours and hours. But when it finally hit me, it struck with a vengeance. Evelyn rushed from her books to her herbs, mixing this and that. She was trying to help me, trying to ease the symptoms. I squeezed my eyes closed. She was trying to make me comfortable.
I’d tied my hair up high on my head. The long strands were vomit magnets. And was I ever vomiting.
Kyan was beside himself, running to get me cool towels and fresh glasses of water. He’d take my bucket away, exchanging it with one he’d just rinsed out. And we danced like that for hours.
Cool sweat beaded all along my skin and soaked Evelyn’s sheets. In between bouts of puking, I tried to relax, swallow down whatever Evelyn shoved at me, and think of Ella.
My head felt funny—like it was too heavy for me to hold up, yet light enough to float.
“Abby Blue?”
“Ky?”
I felt something warm on my cheek, and something gripped the back of my neck. “Abby Blue!”
The sound of his voice was weird. It was like someone had stuffed cotton in my ears.
“Evelyn, hurry!”
“Oh, no,” I thought she said.
“SHE’S BURNING UP. WE HAVE to cool her down and fast,” Evelyn said, touching Abby’s forehead.
“I thought she’d been sweating.”
Evelyn shook her head and looked up at me. “She’s not now. Her temperature’s high. Too high.”
“It’ll take too long to carry in water. Can you carry her to the lake?”
Of course I could. I’d do anything to save her. “Yeah.”
“You just get in with her. Keep her from drowning and wait until her temperature comes down. I’ll come in a minute with some more medicine and a blanket.”
Abby wasn’t heavy. But carrying dead weight was awkward. I eased her into my arms and then went out the door. It was early morning, cool outside, and the lake water would definitely work.
I just hoped she’d pull through. She’d been fighting it for four days. Four long days. The easiest way to get her there was to carry her like child, like I had after Norris had torn her back to shreds. Repositioning her so her head was over my shoulder and she straddled my stomach, I rushed toward the lake. It would’ve taken way too long to carry water. Evelyn was right.
Undulating clouds of steam swirled over the surface of the water that was being warmed by the morning sun.
Abby let out an incoherent moan that sounded a lot like Ella.
“Stay with me, Abby Blue.”
When my boots hit the cold mud, they lost traction for a second and I slipped, but somehow managed to stay upright. The water was freezing. It seeped into my boots and soaked into my pants with each step. When Abby’s legs were submerged, she whimpered.
She was so hot. Her body had heated mine to the point I was sweating.
“Remember when we used to go swimming, we’d sneak away at night after picking up apples all day. We’d hold each other’s hand and run off the old dock. When the water would hit us, it was like we couldn’t kick to the surface quick enough. Remember? This is just like that. We’re gonna go under, okay?”
Abby didn’t answer, but I could feel her short breaths against my neck.
I eased us both farther into the lake, until the surface of the water splashed lazily against my chest and back and Abby was mostly submerged. Should I dunk her? I didn’t know what to do. It might drown her.
Evelyn answered that for me. “Kyan, you ease her onto her back and hold her like a baby. Keep her face above water, everything else below. She has to cool down.
I eased Abby’s body down and made sure to support her head in the crook of my elbow. She trembled and shook violently, but I held on with a death grip.
A tear slid down my cheek. That was how I’d held Ella.
Will Abby ever hold her baby girl again? If she didn’t pull out of that, it would be my fault. I squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them, Evelyn was close. She had a quilt ready.
“When can I get her out? She’s shaking like a leaf!”
“She’ll shake something terrible, but just hold on, Kyan. Please. I know it’s hard for you to see her like this. But this is the only way to help her right now.”
“What if it doesn’t?” My voice cracked.
“Don’t you give up on her. She wouldn’t give up on you. Ever.”
Abby sighed and relaxed in my arms. She wasn’t convulsing anymore, just a slight shudder every so often, like a chill had run up her spine.
“You remember Lulu?” I whispered.
She made a tiny mewling noise.
“She loved you. She beat my hind end a few times for hurting you. Remember when I pushed you off the porch. I told you that you weren’t as pretty as Laney. And you told me that I’d never get a girlfriend because I smelled like a skunk and looked like Joey Tudor. That boy had pimples on his ears, remember him?”
“So I pushed you off the porch. We were six. Lulu had been making dinner and saw what happened. She swatted my behind with her broom and told me to go on home and quit tormenting you. I never told her or you, but she scared me sometimes. She was so protective of you. I’m really glad you had her. I’m glad I did, too. God, I don’t want to lose you, Abby Blue. Please stay with me. I need you. You’re my best friend. But more than that, Ella needs you and Gray.”
“Ella... Gray.” She mumbled.
“Yeah. We need you to hang in there.”
“So cold.”
I yelled to Evelyn, “She says she’s cold.”
“Good. Bring her on out of the water now.”
Walking out of the mud was tougher than walking into it, but I managed. Evelyn tucked the quilt around Abby as tightly as possible and ordered me back to the house.
The water squished out of my boots with each step, and Abby began to shiver. “She seems too cold now.”
Evelyn tsked. “No such thing at this point. Trust me. I wouldn’t hurt her.”
I knew she wouldn’t. It was just hard to feel helpless.
“Take her to the couch and then I need you to scram for a bit while I get her dressed.”
There was another blanket stretched across the couch. I eased Abby down onto it and bolted. I had to get out for a minute. I needed a second to breathe and collect my thoughts.
Evelyn entered the cabin and shut the door behind me. I caught a glimpse of yellow... no, blonde, as it ran into the woods.
Laney poked her head out from behind an oak trunk. “Kyan. I put a comm in the crook of this tree. You come get it after I’m gone. Gray’s going absolutely insane. He’s threatening to come check on her if you don’t message him right now.”
“How’s Ella?”
“She’s fine. Kaia, Gray, and I have been taking good care of her. How’s Abby?”
I rubbed my neck.
“Touch and go.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Message him. I’ll hold him off.” Laney took off toward Abby and Gray’s cabin, and I walked over to grab the comm.
My fingers shook from the cold air that was hitting my wet hind end, but I typed. ABBY HAD A FEVER THIS MORNING. HAD TO TAKE HER TO THE LAKE TO COOL HER OFF. SHE IS STILL SICK. STAY AWAY. I’LL KEEP YOU UPDATED.
It only took a second to get a reply from him. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HER, KYAN.
I AM. I PROMISE. EVELYN IS DOING ALL SHE CAN.
I called out to Evelyn. “Can you throw some clothes out for me?” A heap of jeans, a shirt, and underwear flew out the door and landed on the porch. Grabbing them, I called out that I’d be back in a few.
“Wash up, Kyan!”
“Yep.”
Wash up. Wash up. Wash the germs away. The germs I’d set loose. The germs that were killing her. The ones that could kill Julia, they could take everything from me. Cursing, I took off into the woods.
Evelyn needed some more firewood, and I was going to take my anger out on an unsuspecting tree.
FOUR DAYS. FOUR LONG, AGONIZING days. Laney and Kaia said to stay calm and have hope. But the dark circles draped beneath their eyes said they hadn’t been sleeping either. And it wasn’t because of little Ella.
I laid beside her on the bed, watching her tiny chest rise and fall, her little lips parted in sleep. She looked just like her mama—like a tiny angel.
If she never knew Abs, it would be a tragedy. Abby had grown up with Lulu, sure, but Abby had needed a mother and didn’t have one available. I didn’t want that same history to repeat itself for Ella.
I blinked and looked up at the ceiling’s exposed beams. They supported the structure, kept it upright. It was going to kill me if she didn’t pull out of the illness, but I could stay strong and support Ella. I’d be a good father.
A tear rolled down my temple into my hair. Then another on the opposite side.
Please, don’t leave me, Abs.
ELLA GOT SO BIG. SHE could walk with help, her little fingers holding onto one of mine. Her auburn hair, so much like her mother’s, shimmered in the fall sun as we walked along the trail. Her growth was slightly accelerated, not quite Lesser and not quite Greater. She was just right. We were on our way to the depot. It was time to say goodbye to Kyan. And we wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
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