by Zoey Ellis
“It isn’t about eagerness or choice,” Drocco boomed. “I despise the idea of having a liar as my mate, but it cannot be helped. I don’t get to choose.”
Cailyn held his eyes. “I do.”
The Alpha clenched his fists and turned away, breathing hard as he battled his frustration. Cailyn watched his broad back rise and fall, the silence between them underpinned by the heavy patter of rain.
Finally, he turned his head. “That is where you make your mistake. You don’t get to choose, Cailyn. We are true mates. It has been chosen for us.” He turned slowly. “I accept that you are my mate, regardless of your faults. You would rather choose death than do the same for me.”
Cailyn blinked, suddenly unsure how to answer. He made her seem so petty for hating him for what he did. But even as she tried to rationalize her feelings, Mother Fern’s statement rung in her ears. Maybe he was as unprepared to deal with your connection as you were. She glanced up at him. “You haven’t even apologized—”
“I do not apologize,” he bellowed, “or plead, or beg.”
Cailyn frowned at him, suddenly realizing. “You’re not your father.”
“No?” he spat. “I’m starting to see resemblances in how our Omegas will end up. The only difference is, he could not survive for long once his bonded mate died. I will live on and remember everything. I’ll remember how delusional my mate was—so much so that she couldn’t even recognize me as her Alpha.”
“I am not delusional!”
“You hated me even before you arrived at my Palace,” Drocco said. “You have been taught to hate all Alphas, yet you don’t once question your captors. Is that because of your mother? Did she influence you so deeply that you didn’t care to remember your father? Did you both laugh at the mess she left behind?”
Cailyn stared at him, bewildered. “What are you talking about?”
“Your mother caused incredible pain for your father and his wife, yet she was the one who got to see you grow up.”
“What do you mean? I never met my mother.”
“You agreed not to lie,” Drocco warned, dangerously. “Your mother was an Omega. You all lived in the same place, didn’t you?”
Cailyn’s stomach dropped and she almost didn’t acknowledge that she rose to her feet. “How do you know that? How do you know my mother was an Omega?”
Drocco stilled suddenly, his eyes trained on her. “I found your family home and went to see your parents. Your father is an Alpha living with a Beta wife, but your mother was an Omega.”
A cold shock trembled through Cailyn. “N-no, that can’t be true.”
“I give you my word, that is what they told me,” Drocco said. “I swear it on the Lox. You were taken when you were five. You have three half-brothers.”
“No,” Cailyn insisted. “I have no family.”
“Your Beta mother loves you deeply. She’s the one who named you. She used to read you stories when you were upset,” Drocco said evenly. “She said you are stubborn and never back down from what you want, prone to throwing tantrums. She said your favorite fruit are starlaberries, which I noticed to be true when I fed you fruit in our bedroom.”
Cailyn stared at him, the sharp twist of hot blades in her stomach.
“They are still farmers in Cillford. They used to have land in Ricsford that you would visit as a child. Maybe that’s why you feel so comfortable here.” Drocco regarded her closely. “They have been looking for you all this time, Cailyn. Your Beta mother became practically hysterical when I asked about the birthfreckle on your shoulder. She thought your Omega mother took you.”
Disbelief rendered Cailyn weak and her knees buckled. Drocco darted forward and caught her as she fell.
“It can’t be true,” Cailyn murmured, her head spinning as Drocco sat down with her. “I’ve never met her. I’ve never met my mother. The Mothers told me she hadn’t been an Omega.”
“The Mothers fucking lied,” Drocco growled, holding her in his lap.
“But why would they?”
“Why not?” Drocco said, quietly. He ran his fingers through her hair, stroking and soothing her as his scent surrounded her. “Without your mother’s influence, they get to tell you whatever they want. You already know now, Cailyn, that almost all Omegas want their Alphas. They need them. They desire them. I’m sure your council of elders wouldn’t have wanted any Omega showing signs of that to the young ones they wanted to brainwash.”
Cailyn shook her head against his chest, but even as she did, she remembered Mother Azia’s words. We devote much of the training to warning Omegas of the threat that Alphas can be that we only briefly touch on the true nature of the Alpha/Omega connection.
And yet, the true nature of the Alpha/Omega connection was incredible when she didn’t resist it. What else had they left out or only briefly touched on that was important? Everything she once believed was thrown in the air. She couldn’t doubt that Drocco believed he had met her family, he had sworn it, but how could what he was saying be true?
Tears stung her eyes as she lay in Drocco’s arms, a resigned mood coming over her. “I guess it doesn’t matter now,” she muttered. “I will die in three weeks. I’ll never know. And I’m glad.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DROCCO
Drocco’s heart sunk as he watched the teary Omega in his arms. She had been like this for two weeks now, since he revealed he had met her parents. He almost wished he hadn’t said it. She wasn’t depressed as such, but she was more thoughtful and definitely more subdued and upset than normal.
Their matings were as intense as they had always been, except now, Cailyn did not hold back. She touched Drocco, ran her fingers through his hair, kissed his chest, and reveled in him as much as he reveled in her. And it was more than just the physical act. Once, as she rode his face, writhing and gyrating on his mouth as he sucked and licked that delicious pussy, she came with an uncontrollable shudder. He ran his hands over her hips, squeezed her ass, and cupped her full breasts as he looked up at her, every moan from her mouth making his cock jump and ooze on his stomach. Then, as she calmed, she looked down at him and smiled, stroking her fingers through his hair while her clit still throbbed on his tongue. But her eyes were… soft. He had never seen her look at him like that before. Ever. Not even in her Haze. He fucking loved it. He couldn’t even try to describe how it made him feel. It touched something deep within him, something only she could reach. It could be that the pregnancy caused her to be different with him, but he suspected, and hoped, that she simply was coming accustomed to the fact that they belonged together. He began to press her face into his neck at every opportunity, wanting her to bite him, to tie him to her. The hormones of her pregnancy should encourage it. Maybe if she did she could be swayed to break their deal. At first, she seemed to simply love breathing him in, and then she began licking his neck while he buried himself between her silky thighs. It sent a shiver to the base of his spine every time her little tongue lapped him, and a strong desire rose to feel her teeth, but she didn’t take the bite.
He had taken to holding her in his lap in the evenings in front of the fire. He didn’t know why. An urge rose to touch her and purr for her and comfort her, which likely meant that she needed it. Sometimes they spoke about mundane things, sometimes they didn’t talk at all. She still cooked and read and did all the things she had done before, but outside their mating, her demeanor had changed. He had never seen her this way before. Cailyn had always shown herself to have a warrior’s heart—always strong, always quick thinking, always with a sexy sharpness and determination that he had never witnessed in anyone before. But this information about her mother had clearly wounded her deeply. Her captors had a lot to fucking answer for, and it was only now that he realized how deep her conditioning went. They took her at five years old and she had trusted them completely. She claimed he never forgave her actions, and maybe there was some truth to that. But how could he continue to blame her? It was her captors that were truly at
fault.
For the first time since they arrived, she began to cover both of them, head to toe, in the sheets and bedding, wrapping them around to recreate the cocoon nature of her nest back in their bedroom. Drocco’s hopes soared at this sign. He lay in it with her often, relishing her with his tongue, his kisses, his purr—anything she wanted. However, with everything that had happened, he wasn’t sure they had made enough progress for the Alpha/Omega connection to repair them. Not only did that shatter the belief he’d had faith in for so long, it also meant he would lose her.
When she had touched him, and encouraged that first intense and beautiful mating, he had been almost sure they had been repaired, but she had also told him immediately after she wouldn’t forgive him. What chance did he have if she couldn’t really do that? Maybe she was truly lost to him regardless.
“What was your mother’s name?”
He glanced down at her. Her cheek rested on his chest and she looked up at him with those adorable brown eyes he couldn't get enough of. He ran his hand along her thigh. “Loxara”
She hummed against his chest. “Lox.”
“Yes.”
She scrunched her toes into his thigh. “What was my mother’s name?”
“Nearra.”
She hummed again, tapping her fingers along his arm. “What is my family name?”
Drocco moved his hand to the curve of her ass and stroked it slowly with his thumb. “Andaus.”
“What is yours?”
“Andaus.”
She blinked. “How can they be the same?”
He smiled down at her. “Because you’re mine.”
She giggled. She fucking giggled, and his heart nearly stopped. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, and combined with finally seeing her laugh, it pushed him into an almost complete state of enchantment.
“What is my father’s family name, then?”
“Betheron.”
She was quiet for a moment. “When we were back at Malloron’s castle…”
“Yes?”
“You fucked me face down the whole time. Why?”
Drocco dragged his eyes from her, wondering if he should tell her. He rarely ever admitted weakness, not even to Torin. But with their fragile connection in the balance, he had to be willing to tell her anything she wanted to know. “You made me weak.”
Cailyn stilled. “What do you mean?”
“In our bedroom. You made me weak. I allowed myself to… be with you fully. No barriers, no walls, just me and my Omega. But it wasn’t what I thought. There were always barriers between us. And I needed more—I was desperate to know more about you. I couldn’t trust you to tell me the truth, so in my desperation I allowed an enemy to convince me to speak a spell that aided your escape.”
Her toes fidgeted on his thighs, her voice hoarse. “So you fucked me face down…?”
“To protect myself from being affected by you like that again.” He stroked his whole hand over her ass now. “From seeing your face, or your eyes.”
Cailyn made a noise in the back of her throat. “You saw my face and my eyes in my Haze.”
“It’s not the same.”
She pursed her lips, her soft fingers tracing the scars on his arm. “Did it work?”
“No.”
A silence built. He ran his hand over her stomach. It was beginning to protrude slightly now, and he found he was slightly obsessed by it. He liked the roundness of it under his hand, enjoyed looking at it, and couldn’t stop touching it. He found himself rock hard with excitement whenever he thought about how fat and round she was due to become as her pregnancy progressed. Her natural curves were already pretty incredible—when she was heavy with child, it would be a wonder if he could stay away from her. His thoughts shuddered to a stop, a prickling at the back of his neck as he realized he wouldn’t see her like that. They only had a week left.
“What are you thinking about?”
Drocco realized he had tensed. “Nothing.”
“Your purr changed,” Cailyn said, lifting her head up to look at him. “What is it?”
He lowered his eyes to meet hers. “I want my child, Cailyn. And I want you.”
Her lips pressed together, her eyes darting over his face. “You gave me your word.”
“I did,” he said, trying not to scowl. “But if you still want that, I still have to come to terms with what I’ll lose.”
“Do you want a mate that feels trapped with you?”
“Do you truly feel trapped? Like you don’t belong with me?”
Cailyn held his eyes and then lowered them, pulling on her lower lip with her teeth. It was her sign of indecision and it fanned the flames of hope inside Drocco.
“It’s not just about you, Cailyn,” he said. “It’s about the child as well. Do you truly feel nothing for it?”
Her lip trembled. “Don’t do that, Drocco,” she said, tears already forming. “Don’t use the baby like that. Not when I had no choice… not with what happened to your brother…”
Drocco thumbed away the tears that spilled to her cheeks. “It’s not about that, Cailyn. Many women get pregnant without wanting or expecting to. And many of them still love their babies. You are a true Omega. Your mothering instincts are more pronounced, that’s why you began nesting straight away—as soon as you had a chance to after we mated the first time.” Globs of tears hung from her lashes as she stared up at him, a strange look entering her eyes. “You should have a sense of pride that you are the mother of this baby. Just like you should also be able to sense, even more than anything else, what I am to you.” He pulled her closer to him, her face inches from his. “Do you truly not feel it?”
She lifted her hand, her eyes taking in every inch of his face. “I don’t want to hurt anymore,” she whispered, the glisten of her eyes tearing a hole right through him. “I don’t want any more pain, Drocco.”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Drocco said, his voice rough. “I won’t hurt you again, Cailyn. Ever.”
“I already hurt. I feel…” She touched his cheek and ran her finger down to his mouth. “I can’t trust anyone, Drocco. And I can’t trust my own feelings, my upbringing, my own thoughts. I just don’t know anymore.”
“Then give it more time.”
She bit her lip again. Fucking indecision.
Drocco took a sharp breath and looked away, his desperation raging within him. Even if he broke his word, for the first time ever, and refused to kill her, she would never be happy. She would never accept him, their child, or any life he would offer. She would always resent him. And while she had been poisoned against him from the start, he had to concede that he had further eroded their connection by approaching their relationship using Lox principles—it hadn’t once worked and it never would. With their connection on the line, he couldn’t force it this time. She had to be willing to live. With him. The helplessness that caused was like a sword carving his insides out.
Cailyn pressed her fingers to his cheek to turn his face back to her. She reached up and pressed her soft mouth against his. He exhaled, a rumble of satisfaction releasing as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. She straddled him, her tunic ridden all the way up, giving him access to run his hands over her smooth, velvety skin.
As their kiss deepened, he ground his cock up into her warmth, thumbing her nipples, squeezing her breasts and palming that beautiful round stomach. He growled as his desire spiked and reached between her legs to feel that warm, scented slick already waiting for him.
He resolved to spend the last week with her in the purest way possible. No barriers, no lies, no withholding. Just him and his Omega; his woman, his feisty kitten, his Cailyn. This time for real.
He lifted her and took her to bed.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CAILYN
Cailyn tried not to glance around the lodge as they prepared to go. She always experienced reluctance when leaving her home behind, but never as much as this time. Firstly, she w
ould never be returning and secondly, Drocco’s presence had made it a completely different experience to what she normally had. Usually, she relaxed when she came to the lodge. This time, her whole world had changed—nothing could ever be the same.
She stood staring at the fireplace while Drocco packed up the bedding and the last of her books. She hadn’t been able to pull her thoughts away from the fact that her mother could be alive and living in the Omega Compound. She tried to think of all the reasons why the Mothers would lie to her. She remembered asking the Omegas that looked after her, Amara, and Victoya as they grew up—they had all asked about their families. And she even remembered specifically asking the Mothers when she started taking live missions if she would ever come across any of her family members, or if there were any that they knew about. They had been adamant she would not and that they didn’t. Yet she couldn’t deny she felt some truth to what Drocco said. The man was many things, but not an outright liar—not on an important topic such as this, one he himself felt strongly about.
Their time together over this last week had been… odd. She couldn’t deny that strange feelings for him had developed and flourished since their argument. It was as though by laying their thoughts bare, they had moved into a new state of existence. Her mood lifted whenever he entered the room; she took an incredible amount of pleasure watching him do simple, boring tasks, and she wanted his hands on her all the time. A sense of peace had settled over her about him—she no longer felt any guilt or torment about wanting him sexually. She had needed his touch ever since she met him and the craving for it had never diminished. An unreasonable, passionate ownership of him consumed her whenever he rubbed her rounded stomach, and his touch aided the aches and pains of her changing body. Not only did his presence appeased her, but that acute feeling of belonging and safety that she had felt at the Palace, had returned ten-fold. And she knew it was him. She had never felt like that in her own home before. Maybe she had finally accepted the connection between them. Or maybe it had been easy to embrace her feelings because she knew her death was coming.
