No, I’ll never be him, I vow to myself. I never could be him.
But the truth is I’m not really sure who I am anymore. The girl who makes deals with mobsters? The girl who’s branded for the mistakes made by her dad? The girl who has so much on her plate right now she feels like she’s going to crack apart at any moment?
I’m not sure.
I’m not sure of anything anymore.
Hadley
By the time lunch rolls around, my lack of sleep is really kicking in. My eyelids feel heavy and I can’t stop yawning.
“You look tired?” Londyn notes with worry as I approach her locker.
I yawn for at least the umpteenth time. “I am a little bit. I think I need some coffee.”
“I don’t think the cafeteria has any.” She bumps her locker shut. “But maybe we can go someplace for lunch. I know Payton and Bailey were planning on staying here, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind going somewhere.”
As much as the idea of going to lunch with my sisters sounds amazing, I already made plans with Blaise. Sure, Austin said he may know where the bags are, but I’m not going to rely solely on a guy who’s the son of the man threatening me. And besides, even if Austin comes through for me, I don’t like the idea of owing him a favor.
“Actually,” I tell her as we start down the hallway. “I’m supposed to go to lunch with Blaise today.”
Her eyes slightly widen. “Like on a date?”
I dismiss her with a flick of my wrist. “Nah, we’re just friends.”
“Friends who have lunch together? And kiss?” she questions with her brows elevated.
“That’s a normal thing,” I lie, knowing I sound like an idiot.
“Except you usually don’t kiss your friends,” she points out with insinuation.
I give a nonchalant shrug. “Maybe I do.”
“Had, I know you. And I know you don’t just go around kissing guys,” she says, digging her phone out of her pocket. “You’ve kissed like, what? Two guys? And one was on a dare.”
I scratch at the bandage on my wrist. “Yeah, so what?”
She glances at her phone before stuffing it into her pocket. “So? You’ve kissed Blaise two times. Three if you want to count that kiss you gave him after you guys tied in that drag race. You’ve never kissed the same guy more than once, and I’m pretty sure you’ve never kissed anyone because you wanted to.” She pushes open the doors and we step outside. “That has to mean something.”
“Yeah, it means I’m a teenage girl who decided to kiss a hot guy. That’s not that weird.”
“So you’re admitting you think Blaise is hot?”
“He obviously is,” I reply with a shrug. “Everyone with eyes knows that. Hell, even Blaise knows it.”
She muses over something. “You two would be a really cute couple.”
I glare at her. She so did not just say that. “I don’t want to date Blaise. I don’t want to date anyone period. And we wouldn’t make a cute couple. We’re like night and day.”
She rolls her eyes. “Like you said this morning, you guys have a lot in common. Plus, you’d look really good together.” She gestures at my outfit. “Especially with the whole goth thing you’ve got going on today.”
“Why are you being so persistent about this?” I ask, feeling uneasy. “Just a few days ago you were telling me we needed to stay away from the Porterson brothers. That they were bad news.”
“That was before Rhyland gave us a ride to school. And Blaise stepped in when dad was…” Her gaze drifts to the bruise on my face and she swallows hard. “If he was a bad guy, I doubt he would’ve done what he did that day.”
I instinctively touch the bruise on my face then wince. “Yeah, probably.”
She offers me an almost apologetic smile and I know she’s about to say something I’m not going to like.
“I think he might really be good for you. I really do. Not that I think you need a boyfriend, but it seems like, I don’t know, you usually try to handle everything by yourself. But for whatever reason, you let Blaise help you.”
I massage my temples, feeling a headache coming on. “Lon, I love you to the moon and back, but please let this go. Blaise and I are just friends and I don’t want to be anything more.” I lower my hands to my sides. “I don’t want to be anything more with anyone right now.” Can’t be with anyone right now.
A squeezing sensation fills my chest, making it hard to breathe. I have no damn clue what’s causing the feeling, but it’s almost as annoying as the fluttering sensations I’ve been feeling lately when I’m around Blaise.
She studies me, the light breeze blowing strands of her hair into her face. “All right, I’ll let it go for now.”
A relieved exhale eases from my lips. “Thanks.”
She forces a smile. “Just remember, I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
“Thanks little sis. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I lightly nudge her shoulder and her smile turns real.
Then we start across the grass and toward a tree where Bailey and Payton are sitting in the shade. Bailey is babbling about something with a sandwich in her hand while Payton dazes off into the empty space. It reminds me of yet another problem I need to deal with, but I’m not sure I can deal with this one on my own. I need some help, even though I’m not a huge fan of asking for it, especially from my sisters. But this isn’t really about me. This is about helping Payton.
Taking a deep breath, I do something I haven’t done in a long time.
“Maybe you could take them to lunch,” I suggest to Londyn. “And work on finding out what’s going on with Payton.”
Londyn appears a bit surprised, probably because this is the first time I’ve asked for help in a very long time. “I can do that.”
Taking another deep breath, I prepare to do something else I rarely do. I dig my keys out of my pocket and hand them to her, my chest tightening again, but for different reasons. “Just don’t be too pushy with her. If she gets too irritated, maybe back off for a bit. Pay’s stubborn and getting to the bottom of what’s going on might take us some time and a lot of careful prying.”
She takes the keys from me. “I can handle this. Go have lunch with our hot neighbor and try to enjoy yourself. You need the rest. You look like someone who’s stayed up for days planning for the apocalypse.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say dryly.
She stuffs the keys into her pocket. “Sorry, but it’s true.”
I sigh. She’s probably right. And much as I’d love to just go out and enjoy myself, I won’t be able to until I fix all of our problems.
The shitty part is that deep down, I know I may never be able to do that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last handful of years it’s that problems have a way of always being part of the Harlyton’s lives. It was part of the reason I wanted to take off to college so badly. I thought maybe if I got away from my dad and his world, I could escape the problems. Perhaps I was being naïve, though. Perhaps they would’ve followed me. I guess I’ll never find out, since I’m not going anywhere for a while.
That thought makes me feel super depressed, but I shove it aside and focus on looking composed as we reach Bailey and Payton.
“Hey my favorite people in the whole wide world,” I greet my sisters with a smile.
Bailey smiles back, but Payton scowls at me.
“Hey big sis,” Bailey says, picking the crust off her sandwich. “Wait, we don’t have to call you mom now, do we? Because that’d be weird.”
I promptly shake my head. “No way. Never, ever call me mom. Not just because it makes me sound old, but because I could never replace her.”
“Obviously,” Payton mutters and I sigh.
Bailey frowns at her before looking back at me, her brows dipping. “Where’s your lunch?”
“Oh. I’m actually going off campus to eat.” I could tell them with who, but I’m hoping I don’t have to.
“Cool. This sandwich tastes like
balls anyway.” Bailey rises to her feet and collects her bag from off the ground. “So where are we going to eat? Please say somewhere good.”
I scratch at my wrist and prepare myself for what’s coming. I know my sisters well enough to know how they’re going to react. “Actually, Lon is going to take you to lunch. I have something else to do right now.”
Londyn gives me an amused look, knowing I’m being vague on purpose.
“What do you have to do?” Bailey wonders with her brows knit.
“Um…” I scratch at the back of my neck. “I’m going to lunch with someone.”
“With who? Wait, are you making friends without us?” she jokes, slinging the handle of her bag over her shoulder.
“Hey.” Blaise’s voice sails over my shoulder, causing me to tense. A second later, he steps up beside me, his blond hair blowing in the wind. “I was just headed out to my car to meet up with you.” His gaze skims across my three sisters then lands on me. “Are you ready to go?”
“Wait… This is who you’re going to lunch with?” Bailey’s looks at me, her brow meticulously arching.
“Yeah, so what?” I say defensively. “It’s not a big deal.”
Bailey glances at Blaise then back at me. “Are you guys dating or something?”
“No,” I stress, giving her a dirty look. “We’re just friends.”
Bailey’s grin is all sorts of mischief. “Is that why you’re dressed like that?” She mocks, gesturing at my outfit. “To match with your boyfriend?”
Blaise chokes on a laugh.
I point a finger at him. “Don’t encourage her.”
He holds up his hands in front of him. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re laughter said enough.” I give him a dark glare, then return my attention back to Bailey. “I’m dressed like this because I didn’t have any clean clothes this morning. That’s it. And FYI, if I was dating a guy, I sure as hell wouldn’t dress to match him.”
“I guess that’s probably true.” Bailey’s gaze dances back and forth between Blaise and me before settling on Blaise. “So where are you taking my sister on this not-date?”
I give her another dirty look but she ignores it.
“I’m not sure yet.” Blaise digs out his car keys from his pocket. “But somewhere good. I promise.”
Bailey trades a secret smile with Londyn and I shake my head.
“Well, we’re going to need to know where you’re taking her,” Londyn says, turning to look at Blaise and crossing her arms. “Or else we can’t let her go with you.”
I shake my head, but a smile pulls at my lips. I’ve taught them well.
“We’re not doing this to be mean,” Bailey adds. “We just need to know she’ll be safe with you.”
“I get that.” Blaise rubs his jawline, his face set in amused contemplation. “I think I’ll take her to this diner that’s in the middle of town. A lot of people go there for lunch and it’s in a very safe neighborhood. I swear.”
“And you promise she’ll be safe with you?” Londyn struggles to keep a straight face.
Blaise’s lips quirk. “I promise to the moon and back.”
Londyn’s eyes widen in surprise, her gaze drifting to me.
“He heard me yelling it out to you when the people from social services took you guys away,” I stress. “I didn’t teach the saying to him.”
“You made me use it to make you a promise,” Blaise reminds me.
Well, shit. I forgot about that.
Londyn stares me down with a knowing look on her face, to which I respond with a bored expression.
Blaise’s gaze skates back and forth between us. “Why do I get the feeling you guys are having a secret conversation right now?”
“Because we are.” I blast Londyn with another warning look then glance at Blaise. “I’m sure you recognize the secret siblings look because you and your brothers do it all the time.”
His smiles. “You noticed that?”
“It’s pretty obvious,” I say through a yawn while stretching my arms above my head.
“You tired?” he asks with concern.
I shrug, my hands falling to my sides. “A bit, but I’m fine.”
He stares at me for a heartbeat or two then nods toward the parking lot. “We should get going. I don’t want you getting another tardy today.”
“How the heck did you know I already got one?”
He winks at me. “Because I know things.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever, dude. Keep your secrets then.” I wave bye to my sisters. “Be careful with my car,” I tell Londyn as I back away from her.
“I will,” she calls out as Bailey says, “You be careful too. If you need some extra carefulness, make sure to stop by the house and visit the cookie jar.”
For the love of all damn unicorns, she so did not just yell that out.
Blaise shoots me a puzzled look as I turn around and walk beside him.
“What’s in the cookie jar?” he asks.
“Cookies,” I lie, scratching at my brow. “Obviously.”
“What sort of cookies? Or is cookies code for something?” he asks curiously. “Because you have this look on your face that, I don’t know…” He stares at me, as if trying to read the answer on my face.
Luckily, I’ve never been one for blushing or else my cheeks might be bright red right now.
I lightly elbow him in the side. “There’s just cookies in it, so stop staring at me like that.”
He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. “Fine, I’ll let it go for now. But one day I’m going to get to the bottom of what the hell you’re hiding in your cookie jar.”
I yawn again. “Good luck with that.”
He smiles but concern floods his eyes. “You’ve yawned like ten times in the last five minutes. Just how much sleep did you get last night?”
“I didn’t really go back to sleep after I left your house,” I admit.
“Too excited about having your sisters home?” he asks.
“That and confused why my sisters were home.”
A crease forms between his brows. “Why did they get dropped off at your house so early anyway? That’s not how social services usually works.”
“I know, which makes the entire situation super strange.” I start giving him a recap of what Londyn told me, how some woman dropped her and my sisters off at the house without giving much of an explanation, how the same woman gave Londyn an envelope with a weird wax crest stamped on the seal, how inside the envelope were custody papers signed by my mom.
“Your mom signed the custody papers?” Blaise stares at me in confusion as he unlocks the passenger door of his SUV. “But I thought your mom…” He trails off with remorse in his eyes
“Is dead,” I finish for him, my heart aching inside my chest. “She is, which is why I’m so damn confused about these papers. I mean, she had to have gotten them drawn up and notarized before she died, but why? It doesn’t make any sense.”
He opens the door. “There wasn’t a note in with the papers that explained why?”
“There was a note from her, but it didn’t explain much of anything other than if I was receiving the papers then my dad lied to her.” I heave a sigh. “I know I should be grateful about the papers—and I am—but I also feel a bit apprehensive about the situation. I almost feel like at any second someone is going to show up and tell me it’s not real and that the papers are fake. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to relax until I can figure out why my mom had the papers drawn up, and how the hell she knew I was going to need them. Which means I probably need to track down whoever gave the papers to this woman that dropped off my sisters in the middle of the night.” I shake my head at myself. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I keep dumping my problems all over you. I bet you’re really regretting the day you decided to hit on me, huh?”
He rubs his lips together, contemplating something. “I might regret that day, but not for the reason you just said.” He steps
back, holding the door open and gesturing for me to get in. “Lets go get something to eat and see if we can get this bag situation taken care of. Then we can move on to figuring out where these custody papers came from… Maybe I can call up the person I know at Social Services and see if she knows who the woman is that dropped your sister off and then maybe we can talk to her.”
There he goes again with that we shit. I should put a stop to it right now. Walk away and handle this myself, but the truth is I need him.
Dammit, I’m so screwed.
Still, I don’t argue, reminding myself that I may need help to clean up my father’s mess. And I need to clean it up or else… Well, I’m not going to think about that right now or else I just might lose it.
“Wow, you really are a gentleman,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood. “Do they teach you those skills in football?”
He gives me a hardy har har look. “You’re really getting a kick out of this football thing, aren’t you?”
I slide into the passenger seat. “I totally am. It’s beyond amusing and kind of weird.”
Amusement glitters in his eyes. “Why’s it weird?”
I shrug, reaching for the seatbelt. “Because you don’t look like the type of guy that plays football?”
His amusement remains. “So what sort of guy do I look like?”
“I don’t know. When I first saw you, I figured you were the kind of guy that got trashed on weekends, got into a lot of trouble, was cocky and a total player.”
“And now what do you see?” he asks.
“Well, I definitely still think you’re cocky,” I quip and he smiles. “But as for getting trashed on weekends and getting into trouble… I think I may have been wrong about that.”
“And what about the last one?” he asks, holding my gaze. “Do you still think I’m a player?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.”
He scans my face over with the oddest look on his face. Then he steps back and shuts the door, leaving me to wonder what on earth he was thinking about.
Leaving me to wonder a lot of things.
Leaving me to realize I’m starting to wonder a lot about this guy.
Holding onto Hadley (Chasing the Harlyton Sisters Book 3) Page 4
