by Zack Zombie
Table of Contents
SUNday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Early Monday
Monday Night
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Friday Night
Saturday
Find out what happens next!
Copyright © 2015 Zack Zombie Publishing LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This unofficial novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang Synergies AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners. Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang.
SUNday
One more week and I’m going back to school.
I can’t believe I’m actually looking forward to going back to Scare School.
Don’t get me wrong, I had a great summer. Even though I didn’t play as much video games or eat as much cake as I wanted to—it was still awesome.
But I’m really looking forward to seeing all my friends at Scare School.
I’m really excited to see my ghoulfriend Sally. I haven’t seen her all summer because she was touring all the Biomes with her parents.
I guess it’s really good to be a Zombie and have money. You can do cool stuff like that.
But I really miss her.
Sally is the best. What I really like most about Sally is that she likes me for who I am inside. Even though sometimes my insides are hanging out on the outside.
But Sally really likes me, even though I can be a bit weird sometimes.
You see, being a 12 year old Zombie can be awkward. Especially going through puberty.
Like, lately my voice has gotten a little hoarse.
No, really. I think a horse fly laid some eggs in my throat when I was sleeping one day.
All I know is that when I’m talking, I feel something wiggling around in my throat.
Makes my voice sound really weird.
Dad says that puberty happens pretty fast for Zombies. Like one day I went from having no mold on my face to having half my face covered in different colored mold.
My Mom took a video to show how quickly the mold grew and changed color.
Right now it’s a deep purple, which I think means I’m deep in thought.
It changes color a lot based on how I’m feeling.
It’s kind of like a mood ring but all over my face.
Also, I started getting taller. Well, one side of me anyway.
You see one of my legs grew really long one night. It’s about four inches taller than my other one. So it makes it easy to walk like a real Zombie now. Before, when my legs were the same size, I walked too much like Steve and people would look at me funny.
But, I’m really glad I’m growing because now the other Mob kids at school will stop calling me names.
Being short and a seventh grader is not a good combination in Mob Middle School. All of the eighth grade kids pick on you and call you names like::
Tiny Tim
Short Stuff
Mini Me
Mini You
Mini Zombie
Baby Zombie
Baby Zeke
Runt
Smalls
Squirt
Shortcake
Small Fry
Munchkin
Munch-skin
Shorty
Captain Mini Pants
And Captain Mini Zombie Pants
But this year I’m going to be an eighth grader and I’m going to be a lot taller. So, I should probably brush up on my name calling.
But you know, lately every time I think about being an eighth grader I get really scared. I mean, I’ve never been an eighth grader before. What am I supposed to do? How’s an eighth grader supposed to act?
What if the other eighth graders don’t like me? Or what if the eighth grade work is too hard and I flunk out? Or what if I get a really mean Scare Class teacher? Or what if we get new bullies that transfer to the school?
You know, I think I changed my mind. I don’t think I want to go to eighth grade anymore.
Man, being a Zombie in Middle School is really hard…
Monday
Today we went shopping for new school clothes.
Except this time my Mom and Dad told me to pick out whatever clothes I wanted. They said since I’m in eighth grade, I’m a big Zombie now.
When we got to the Zombie Mall, my Dad gave me his Zombie Credit Card.
“Spend as much as you want,” my Dad said.
Did he just say what I think he said?
I had to ask him again, “As much as I want?”
“Yes, son. You’re in eighth grade now. You worked really hard. You deserve it.”
I couldn’t believe it!
Wow, being an eighth grader comes with a lot of perks! It’s like I’m entering a whole new world.
Who knew that eighth graders had it so good?
So, I went straight to Old Scary Navy. That’s where all the cool kids go to get their clothes.
I got every shirt and every pair of pants I could find that looked cool. My shopping cart was so full I had to get another one.
I was thinking about how cool I was going to look on the first day of school.
I’m finally going to be the coolest dressed kid in school, I thought. No more turquoise T-shirts and blue pants.
When I got to the counter, the Zombie lady’s eye sockets got really big.
“Are all of these for you?” she asked. “They’re not even the same size.”
All I could say was, “Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme…”
After she totaled everything up, I pulled out my Zombie Credit Card, and I handed it to her like I had used it for years.
She swiped the card and the register made a buzzing noise. Then she swiped it a few more times and the same thing happened. After about 10 more swipes, she picked up the phone and called the number on the card.
When she hung up, she looked at me like I was some sort of criminal.
“What are you trying to pull over on me?” she said. “This card has a limit of only $30.”
Then she shoved all of the clothes behind the counter and set aside the only thing I could afford…
…A turquoise T-shirt and a blue pair of pants.
Tuesday
Today we got our new school schedules in the mail.
It’s a little bit more advanced than Scare Class 101. This time we’re not just scaring villagers—we’re scaring miners!
We only talked about scaring miners a little last year. But this year we’re actually going to go out and do it.
I can’t wait because miners drop the coolest stuff, like red-stones, gold, diamonds and emeralds!
I don’t really need that stuff. But if I give it to Steve, he can trade it with some villagers for some extra pieces of cake.
I heard that one emerald can probably get me like a thousand pieces of cake.
Man, this year is going to be awesome!
I also got the list of elective classes I can choose from this year. Elective classes are the fun classes that kind of make up for all of the boring classes we have all year.
So this year I got a choice of:
Enchantments and Potions
Zombie Pig Farming
Crafting and Transformations
Minecraft Modding Class
Basket Weaving
7th Grade Student Orientation Volunteering
There are a lot of great electives to choose from this year. But I think I’m going for the Minecraft Modding Class.
Minecraft Modding Class is where you can learn how to create mods for Minecraft. It’s really cool. You can pretty much change anything in Minecraft with a mod.
One time, one of the eighth graders created a mod that changed everybody’s voice. All of the Zombies sounded like Endermen, and the Slimes sounded like Skeletons. Even the cows and pigs got reversed.
Another time, one of the mod kids wrote a mod that turned all of the animals upside down! It was really cool. I actually got to ride a Zombie pig upside down that day. Though his little Zombie piggy nipples tickled my legs so much I couldn’t stop laughing.
Look at that upside down Pig!
Maybe in Modding Class, I’ll create a mod that will help me get revenge on all of the bullies in school. I’ll probably make the bullies really small and give the little mob kids really big feet to squash them. Then we’ll see how they like it for a change.
Wow, Minecraft Modding Class is going to be awesome!
My Mom said that if I want to get into a good Mob High School that I should volunteer a lot. They probably think that if you volunteer a lot, then you won’t cause any trouble in High School.
So I might volunteer for the 7th Grade Student Orientation. That’s when you take a 7th grader and show him around the school, and show him the ropes and stuff.
I guess it would be nice to save some young 7th grade Zombie from having to deal with all the nonsense I went through when I was in 7th grade.
Or maybe I can save a kid from getting too many Zombie wedgies.
Oh man, Zombie wedgies are not fun. And they usually leave a kid with some serious body image issues.
One time a Zombie kid at school got a wedgie so hard, his feet ended up on his chin. He had to walk around school like that for a whole day. He kinda looked like a Zombie frog.
Another kid got a wedgie so hard that it split him right in half. Wasn’t so bad until he tried to catch the bus home. They couldn’t find his other half for weeks.
I got a wedgie once. My friend Mutant wanted to play a joke on me. I don’t think he really knows how strong he is. And it didn’t help that I wasn’t wearing any underwear that day.
I’m still recovering from that.
So, maybe I can help a young 7th grader escape all of the terrors of middle school. Or at least I can be a good friend to him the way Steve was for me.
So, I’m all set with all my classes.
The only thing that scares me is if I’m going to get good teachers this year.
My teachers last year were pretty good. Even Ms. Bones was OK. She was a little stiff, though.
I guess we’ll see.
Eighth grade here I come!
Wednesday
Today we went shopping for school supplies.
This time I didn’t even try to ask my Dad to use his Zombie Credit Card. I didn’t want the Zombie lady at the counter to think I was a criminal again.
This year we went to Scarget to get our school supplies. If you want to get the best haul for school stuff, that’s where you need to go.
Now, the biggest thing I needed this year was a cool Zombie backpack. I’m kind of tired of using the one my Mom made for me.
You see, my Mom has been making my Zombie backpack every year since I was a baby Zombie. I think she does it because it’s cheaper to make it out of rotten Zombie flesh. It only takes a few months to collect enough around the house to make a good sized backpack.
It’s kind of embarrassing, though. All the kids look at me like I’m a weirdo or something. It’s probably because my Mom doesn’t care what body parts the rotten flesh came from.
One year I had a Zombie backpack that was shaped like my Dad’s foot. Another year it was shaped my Mom’s entire left leg.
But, now that I’m in eighth grade, I kind of want something a little cooler than a hand me down, rotten flesh, foot-shaped backpack.
What I really want is an authentic, genuine Ender Dragon-hide leather backpack. Those are really cool. But they’re really rare. And they’re crazy expensive. Usually only the really rich Endermen kids at school carry those.
An Ender Dragon-hide backpack has like 100 pockets. You can stash a year’s supply of dried booger snacks in there and never run out. Plus, the teachers can’t search every pocket, so you can get away with carrying all kinds of stuff in there.
One year, one mob kid was selling extra Zombie fingers at school, and he kept his stash in his Ender Dragon-hide back pack. The teachers could never catch him.
So cool.
I know I can never get one. But a kid can dream…
I also needed to get some supplies for my Mob Scare Class.
This year I really wanted to get some cool stuff for scaring miners.
Last year, some eighth grade kids got megaphones to make their voices louder in the caves. Another time, I saw one kid with one of those cool electronic Voice Changing megaphones. You know, the ones that make you sound like you’re a Zombie robot. You can also use it to make yourself sound like an Enderman, a Ghast, or even a chicken.
You know, if I had one of those, I would make myself sound more human. I could trick the miners into coming real close, and then I would jump out from behind a rock and scare them.
Man, I could get so many emeralds that way.
But, my Mom and Dad don’t like spending a lot of money on school supplies. So, they just got me my usual wooden pickaxe and shovel. Somehow my Mom and Dad still think that humans are scared by a bunch of growling, banging, and scratching noises.
Sometimes I feel like my parents just don’t understand.
And miners aren’t easy to scare either. They’re real tough.
Last year, I heard that an eighth grader tried to scare a miner one night with his little pickaxe, shovel, and growling combo. The miner used the pickaxe to pick his teeth and used the shovel to knock off the Zombie’s head.
…And they still haven’t found it.
It’s a good thing his Mom had a spare. It’s not the same size though. So when he walks around school, he looks really weird.
The only thing I couldn’t get today was a lunchbox. They ran out of the lunchbox I wanted. I wanted the cool Pokémon Lunchbox with Pikachu on the front.
But Mom said she would pick it up another day.
So I’m all set for school.
But, even though I have most of my stuff, I still feel like I’m going into eighth grade so unprepared.
Maybe I can borrow some of Steve’s eighth g
rade school supplies. Since he’s going to ninth grade at his new High School, I don’t think he’ll need his old eighth grade stuff.
Man, it must be really weird going to a new school, and going into the ninth grade. Steve must be really nervous.
You know, maybe I should go check on him to see how he’s doing.
Thursday
Today my parents gave me a lecture about what it means to be an eighth grade Zombie in middle school.
I kind of felt weird getting advice from my parents about middle school. They’re just…you know…old.
But they control all of my money so I kind of had to listen.
First they talked to me about something called, “Senior-itis.”
“Senior-what? What’s that?”
“Son, that’s when you will want to get lazy because you know it’s your last year of middle school,” my Dad said.
“That’s a thing? Really?”
“Yes, it is,” Mom said. “And your father and I wanted to help you to do your best in school this year. So we decided that if you get at least a B in each of your classes, then we’ll get you any video game console that you want this year.”
“What?!! Are you serious?!!”
“And, one of those classes has to be your new Scare Class,” my Dad said. “We know you’re feeling nervous about scaring miners. But we believe you can do it, son.”
Whoa. That means if I get a B in all my classes, I can get the ScareStation 465 or the Z-Box 360, or the Zii—U!
