by Zack Zombie
It’s after lunch time, because I came so late and I missed my first few classes.
But I’m glad I missed lunch. I didn’t want anyone laughing at my pink lunchbox anyway.
I hope the Principal just sends me home. After everything that happened to me today, things just couldn’t get any worse…
Monday Night
Boy was I wrong…
The Principal decided not to send me home, so I had to finish the rest of my classes today.
My next class was the class I was dreading the most…Scare Class 201.
I bounced into class as all the kids started giggling around me. Big Mouth Jeff was there and he started laughing at me, and his friends joined in too.
The teacher hadn’t arrived yet, so I took the time to try and bend my legs so I could get into one of the desk chairs.
I think I heard something crack. Then I heard another crack. Suddenly I could bend my legs and fit in my chair.
After all of the kids were in their seats, the strangest looking Zombie walked in the door.
I could swear I heard a ‘Gong’ as he entered the room.
“My name is Mr. Matsumoto, and I will be your Scare instructor this semester.”
Mr. Matsumoto was kind of short, but you could tell every inch of him was just solid muscle…rotten Zombie muscle I mean. He looked at the kids like he could see through their heads. Even the kids that had holes in their heads were scared.
I asked one of the kids next to me about him. “Hey, who is this guy? Where’s he from, anyway?”
“That’s Master Ken Matsumoto. He’s the all-time Moblympics Scare champion for 10 years in a row. He’s retired now and teaches middle school as a hobby.”
“I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD TALK!” Mr. Matsumoto boomed. “What is your name?” he asked me.
Gulp. “My name is Zack, but my friends call me Zombie.”
“Well, Zombie-san, there is no talking in my classroom. Do you understand?”
“Yes…gulp…sir.”
Then Mr. Matsumoto began laying down the ground rules.
“We will start this semester with a Scare exam that will determine if you should even be in this class. If you fail this test, the most you will get in this class is a D, because you will not be able to keep up. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, Mr. Matsumoto.”
“The exam will test your ability to scare miners, the most difficult and ruthless villagers around.”
What? I couldn’t believe my ears.
“The exam will be next week. It will be one part written and one part scaring. You must pass both parts to pass this exam. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Mr. Matsumoto.”
“Those of you who know you do not have what it takes to scare miners, should save yourselves the trouble, and just pick up a class drop form from my desk at the end of the class. You can ask the Principal to put you an easier class, like Zombie Pig farming. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Mr. Matsumoto.”
When class was over I saw half the class get one of the forms from Mr. Matsumoto’s desk. I was going to grab one too, but then I could hear my Mom and Dad in my head…
“If you get at least a “B” in every class, ESPECIALLY YOUR SCARE CLASS, we will buy you the ScareStation 465.”
So I decided not to grab a form, and try to pass the class on my own.
But as I was walking out of the classroom, Mr. Matsumoto stopped me, took a form from his desk and shoved it into my back pack.
Man, talk about a vote of confidence…
Tuesday
Well, while I was at school yesterday my Mom picked up some new clothes for me.
It was a good thing she did too. She had to cut me out of my Mini-me outfit. And when she cut open my pant legs, both of my legs fell on the floor.
So that’s what those cracks were that I heard yesterday…
Also, my body was in a really weird shape.
“Aw Mom. Everybody is going to think I got a wedgie.”
“Don’t worry, Zombie, it’ll wear off…in about a week.”
“Uuuurrgghhh!!!!”
Mom said she couldn’t get me a new lunchbox because they were all sold out. I had to wait a few more weeks for a new one.
Great, now everybody is going to see my pink lunchbox.
We have to carry a lot of books to school, so I couldn’t fit my lunchbox in my Zombie backpack. Now I have to go to school today with a new turquoise T-shirt and blue pants—and a pretty pink lunchbox hanging off my backpack.
Life is so unfair.
One good thing that happened today is that I had my Minecraft Modding Class.
When we got into class, the teacher was talking about how you can use a mod to change anything in Minecraft. The only thing is that the mod’s effect is only temporary. So it only lasts a few hours.
We were only allowed to do basic mods. The really advanced ones were too dangerous for kids, and only the military and the programmers at Mojang were allowed to use those.
So with our mods, we could only change the color of our clothes, or change the shape of small objects.
But we weren’t allowed to turn animals upside down. That was done by a hacker named “Grumm,” who was a student at our school a few years back. He got kicked out of school for using that mod though.
“I wonder if we can use a mod to cheat on Mr. Matsumoto’s Scare exam,” said a Wither Skeleton kid named Jesse.
“Yeah, we could probably make ourselves look even scarier and make our voices really loud,” said a Slime boy named Billy.
“Yeah, but we need a special mod to do that. They won’t allow us to that kind of mod at school,” said a Creeper kid named Leo.
Wow, that’s a really good idea, I thought. With my baby face, I don’t think I can scare anybody. But if I had a mod like that, it would really help me scare some miners.
What am I thinking? That would be cheating. It wouldn’t be right.
But it sure would make getting my ScareStation 465 a whole lot easier…
At lunchtime it was great seeing all of my old friends again.
Skelee was there, and so was Creepy and Slimey.
“Hey guys!”
“Wassup Zombie!”
“Wow, I really missed you guys. Did you guys have fun this summer?”
“Sure did!” Slimey said. “I got a chance to see my family in the Super Flat Biome. I also got a chance to practice my bouncing. I’m really good at it now, like really good.”
“I got a chance to see where my family was from,” Skelee said. “Did you know that Yellowbone National Park was originally named after my great, great, grandfather? Mt. Skullmore even has his picture carved into the stone.”
“Really, your grandfather was a president?”
“Well, he’s not at the top. He’s somewhere toward the middle I think.”
“Zombie and I had a lot of fun at Creepaway Camp,” Creepy said. “We even won the Camp Moblympics!”
“For real?”
“Yeah, but that was because Creepy really came through and won it for us,” I said.
Man, it was really good seeing the guys again.
And the thing I said about puberty was true. They all look so different now.
Skelee has longer arms and legs. It looks kind of funny because his spine hasn’t grown very much. I think he even started dragging his knuckles on the ground like a gorilla.
Slimey got really big too. He was big before, but he never had a problem getting through doors. Now, he has to enter the school through the back loading dock.
But the one that’s really changed is Creepy. His neck is longer than ever. All of us are looking up at him now. It’s really weird.
Creepy told us his farts
have gotten worse since he’s gone through puberty. I think it’s because of the gun powder in his system.
But since none of us have noses, we really don’t mind.
Wednesday
I had Spelling class today and the weirdest thing happened.
The teacher asked someone in the class to spell ‘Obsidian’ and no one knew how to spell it.
So I raised my hand and spelled it out for her.
Then she asked someone to spell the word ‘Enchantment.’ None of the kids volunteered so I raised my hand and spelled that one out too.
Then she asked the class to spell the word ‘Shepherd’ and I raised my hand.
“S–H–E–Uh…Um… P–E–R–D?”
“Sorry, Zombie, that’s incorrect. Can anyone else spell ‘Shepherd’?”
Then Big Mouth Jeff raised his hand and spelled it right.
It’s just like Jeff, always trying to be better than me.
Well, the teacher asked both of us to stay after class. She said that they were going to have a Spelling Bee coming up in a few weeks, and she asked us if we wanted to join it. She said the competition will decide who will represent the school in the national Minecraft Spelling Bee with all the different Biomes.
Now, I didn’t really want to do it, but when I saw how quickly Big Mouth Jeff jumped in and said yes, I had to jump in too.
There’s no way I’m going to let Jeff beat me at anything!
The good thing is that we get extra credit for being part of the Spelling Bee. So it will help me get an easy “A” in Spelling class.
Later, we had our Scare class again, and man was it intense.
Mr. Matsumoto took all of us into the mines so that we could get first-hand experience of how to scare miners.
He said that everything we learned today would be on our Scare exam coming up in a few days.
I’ll be honest, I’m really scared of the miners. Last time I met a miner, I got my head knocked clean off.
The other kids were really scared too. The only one that wasn’t scared was Mr. Matsumoto.
Then we heard a noise that sounded like people singing and swinging pickaxes. We all jumped back behind some rocks and stayed hidden.
“Children, today I am going to demonstrate the proper form of how to scare a miner,” Mr. Matsumoto said. “So watch closely.”
Mr. Matsumoto sneaked up real close to the miners. All of us were shaking in our boots. Then Mr. Matsumoto did something weird. It looked like he was taking a deep breath (which is funny because Zombies don’t have any lungs.) Then all of a sudden he jumped out from behind the rocks at the miners.
“HYEEEEAAAAAHHHHUURRRGHHHHZZZOOWWIIIEEEE!!!!”
He was yelling and acting like a crazy person.
But man, those miners turned completely white. One of them just fainted on the spot. Another one turned around so fast to run, he didn’t see the wall in front of him. He ran right into it. The last one started screaming like a little girl and waving his hands in the air. He dropped the emeralds he was holding and took off.
Mr. Matsumoto picked up the emeralds, some Lapis Lazuli, Redstone, some pickaxes, and he even found a diamond sword.
“That’s how it is done, children.”
Mr. Matsumoto was so awesome that we were all clapping and yelling and screaming and stuff. They said he was a legend, and now I know why.
“So you will all be tested on your form, intensity, discipline and control. Remember what you saw here. Class dismissed.”
All the kids were super crazy with excitement over what they just saw.
I have to be honest, so was I.
I know I need to try that out, like today.
I wonder if Steve is going to be out mining tonight…
Later, I went over to see if I could try Mr. Matsumoto’s move on Steve.
Luckily, Steve mines at night a lot. I think he likes the peace and quiet. Or he just likes finding the leftover cake the early miners leave behind.
Then I saw Steve. I think he found some iron ore because he was banging on that rock pretty hard. It was great for me because he couldn’t hear me coming.
When I got up really close, I jumped out from behind the rocks.
“HYEEEEAAAAAHHHHUURRRGHHHHZZZOOWWIIIEEEE!!!!” I yelled.
But Steve just looked at me and smiled.
“HYEEEEAAAAAHHHHUURRRGHHHHZZZOOWWIIIEEEE!!!!” I yelled.
Then Steve scratched his head and smiled at me again.
I said it one more time, but Steve just looked at me and smiled a third time.
Then I asked him why he wasn’t scared.
Next thing I know he pulled out his earphones and said, “What’d you say?”
Figures. I had to scare the only miner that mines to music.
“I just said that I have a Scare exam that I think I’m going to totally fail.”
All of a sudden all my expectations of having my very own, brand new ScareStation 465 started to slowly fade away…
Thursday
Today was the first day of my 7th Grade Orientation Volunteer assignment.
But man, I was really nervous.
You see, I had the weirdest dream last night.
I was showing one of the new 7th Grade mob kids around. He was a really nice kid, except he was a Creeper and he was really nervous.
Everywhere I took him, he started hissing and flashing. It’s like he was afraid of everything.
I took him to the library… HSSSSSS.
I took him to the gym…. HSSSSSS.
I took him to the cafeteria… HSSSSS.
I showed him the study hall… HSSSSSS
I finally stopped and asked him why he was so nervous. He said he was afraid that the other kids wouldn’t like him. Then he said he was afraid he couldn’t handle the workload. Then he said he was afraid he was going to get bullied.
I thought I would help him overcome his fear. So I took him on the school bus.
Next thing I know, after the explosion, I had Creeper juice all over me.
Last thing I remember was yelling at the top of my voice…and then I woke up.
Wow, I forgot how hard it was to be a 7th grader.
Thinking back on it, I probably wouldn’t have made it as a 7th grader if it wasn’t for having a friend like Steve around.
So I guess it’s my turn to be a ‘Steve’ for some other goofy kid.
Now the kid I had to show around was a really cool Zombie kid named Neville.
Neville was a transfer student from the Australian Biomes.
Even though he was a little different, Neville was pretty cool. Plus he was really outgoing.
In fact, he had already started making friends by the time I met him. All the teachers and secretaries in the school office already knew him. And when we walked down the hallway, all the kids said “what’s up?” to him. He would just say, “G’day” to the girls and they would run giggling down the hall.
To be honest, I started getting a little jealous. This kid had only been in school two days and he already had a ton of friends.
“How come you know so many people already?” I asked him.
“Ah mate, we Aussies know that if you don’t have your mates, you’ve only got a party with one person. And there’s no fun in that.”
I really had no idea what he just said, but it sounded so cool.
Man, no wonder he’s got so many friends. It’s probably his accent.
Later that day, I saw some of the cool kids hanging around the water fountain and I thought I would try my new accent.
“G’day there mates. Owyagoing?”
Well, it didn’t work out as well as I expected.
…Took me a little while to find my way out of that dumpster.
&
nbsp; Friday
I’m really excited because my ghoulfriend Sally comes back tomorrow.
She was excused from the first week of school because her parents donate money to the school.
They even have a building at school named after Sally’s dad. It’s called the Abner Cadaver Performing Arts Building. I think he was a magician when he was younger or something.
So because Sally’s dad donates so much money to the school, Sally can get away with a lot of stuff other kids can’t.
She actually missed about 28 days of school last year and didn’t get in trouble. But it wasn’t like she was cutting class—it was more like she was cutting her fingernails.
I wanted to spend more time with her this weekend, but I needed to study for this crazy Scare exam that’s happening next week.
I’ve got to do whatever it takes to pass this test, though I’m not feeling really confident about it.
The kids at school were talking about using a mod to cheat on the Scare exam again. They even found out where the hacker Grumm, who got expelled, lives.
They said they just needed to come up with the money to pay him and he’ll program the mod for them. They said that the mod would make them even scarier than Mr. Matsumoto.
Those guys keep asking me if I want to join them… But I don’t know. I’ve never cheated before. And if my parents ever found out, they would be so disappointed in me. Not to mention I would be grounded for the rest of my life.
