No one’s going to see me anyways, so why bother?
Weather permitting, Ally spent her mornings on Izzy’s balcony overlooking the river. She found comfort in Izzy’s contemporary chaise lounge covered in an earthy mushroom colored micro fiber. She had gotten in the habit of taking her mug of tea outside and staying on the patio until mid-afternoon.
Sunday morning, Ally made herself some tea and took it out to the patio along with one of Izzy’s Cosmos. She settled into the chaise lounge and flipped through the magazine and came to a relationship quiz. “Are you a good girlfriend?” it read. Ally groaned and tossed the magazine on the ground. She looked out at the river. It wound lazily through the oak trees at its banks. Izzy had a fantastic view from her condo and Ally wondered why she hadn’t paid much attention to it before now.
After another day of couch potato Olympics, it felt good to get some fresh air on the terrace at night. The moon was full and bathed the night in light, turning everything midnight blue. The little man in the moon looked down at her. With judgment. She hadn’t washed her hair in days and she could tell he was looking down at her greasy roots in disgust.
On Ally’s last day, the weather changed suddenly in late afternoon. Dark clouds loomed in the distance, their bottoms heavy with rain. They moved slowly towards the north and sprinkled droplets in their path. Ally grabbed her coffee mug and went back into the house before the rain started. She went inside just in time, because the deck quickly filled in with polka dots of rain drops.
The sky turned gray and rain poured down for the rest of the day. The thirsty earth drank in the moisture and the rest flooded down the street. A group of snow geese flew overhead honking with each flap of their white wings. The trees drooped from the weight of the drops and the rain gutters clattered. As each droplet fell to the ground, the sound was melodic. It was a time to wash away the stagnant heat and dust of summer. Renewal in the form of a summer shower.
As the storm worsened, the river swelled with the downpour of rain and began to rage against the bank. The wind was wild as it flicked rain at the windows and banged at the house like it was trying to get inside. The trees swayed back and forth, frantically waving their branches. The sun tried to peek through making it look dark and light at the same time.
The phone rang in between gusts and Ally let the machine, which sat atop its hardwood home on the veneer console table, pick up.
“Uh, hey Izzy, it’s Ben.”
Ben.
Tears flooded down Ally’s face when she heard his voice. It sounded so close like he was calling from down the hall. But she knew he wasn’t. He was light years away.
Ben’s voice continued through her tears. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of Ally but no one’s answering at the house and her cell is turned off. I just wanted to make sure she’s okay.”
No, Ben, I’m not okay. I’m all alone here and it hurts so badly. How am I supposed to live without Gram? And you.
“Have her give me a call at my new number. Thanks.”
With a click and a whir of the machine, he was gone.
I miss you Ben. I’m here.
The answering machine light blinked like a beacon of hope that Ally couldn’t grab on to.
Escaping the flashing answering machine, Ally shuffled down the hall and into Izzy’s modern minimalist bedroom. The furniture was streamlined and modern. It was ironic. Everything was perfect and in it’s place. The complete opposite of how Ally felt on the inside.
Feeling a chill, Ally searched through her bag for something long sleeve. Like an idiot, she had thrown clothes into a bag without paying attention to what she was packing. A flash of red fabric stuck out from under the gray hooded sweatshirt she was looking for.
Red jersey fabric.
Folded in between two sweatshirts was the jersey Izzy had bought her. She dug it out and looked at the Red Valley Razor logo. She turned it over and ran her hand over the writing.
Price. 20.
Knowing it probably wasn’t a good idea, but doing it anyway, she pulled the jersey over her head. A funny thing happened. She felt a little bit better. If she couldn’t be physically close to him tonight, then she would wear his number on her back.
She went to Izzy’s maple dresser with satin graphite finish and turned on the stereo, hoping to drown out the sound of her grief and the angry sound of the storm outside. The radio was tuned to the local soft rock station and the song playing was sappy and melodic. Ally squeezed her eyes tight and the tears ran down her face.
She looked over at the platform bed and decided it would make a good hibernation destination. Why couldn’t she have been born a bear? Months of hibernation were a part of their lifestyle. That sounded doable. Definitely a perk for having to live out in the wilderness.
Ally peeled back the 1,000 thread count sheets and climbed inside. She leaned back on the upholstered headboard before sliding down under the covers and into the darkness.
She slept fitfully, dreaming nonstop throughout the night. She had horrible dreams about Gram suffering and she also dreamt that Ben and Izzy were on a deserted island together laughing at her while she floundered on a life raft unable to reach them.
* * *
The day of Izzy’s return came right on schedule. It was a balmy day and the sun shone down through the bright blue sky. Any trace of the late summer storm was gone.
Izzy turned her key in the lock and walked into the dark interior of her condo. The air was stale and smelled of not-so-fresh take-out food. She dropped her luggage in the foyer and flicked on the silver linear torchiere in the living room.
“Ally?”
No answer.
She went across the room and opened up the drapes to let the sun shine in.
That’s better. This view was not meant to be covered up. It cost way too much.
The light of day revealed the disarray of her house. A stack of mail toppled over on the glass top of the dining room with a chestnut wood base. Four days worth of mugs was piled in the kitchen sink and the TV was turned on to the ESPN network.
Jeez, it’s depressing in here.
“Al-ly! I’m home,” she tried again, “Come out, come out, wherever you are.” The musical tone in her voice echoed to the vaulted ceilings.
Still no answer.
Izzy went down the hall continuing her game of hide and seek. Finally, she found Ally in the master bedroom still in bed.
Surprise. Surprise.
“Oh, sweetie, it’s two in the afternoon.” Izzy pulled open the drapes next to the bed.
Ally mumbled an inaudible hello, then groaned and plopped her head back down on the pillow. Her eyes were puffy and her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in days. Taking a wild guess, Izzy figured it had been exactly four days since it had seen a brush.
“Oy.” Izzy sat down next to her on the bed.
Ally shoved the other pillow over her head and grumbled some more.
“I’m home.” Izzy stated loud enough to be heard under a pillow.
Ally finally managed to sit up and rub her crusty eyes. “You’re home,” Ally repeated. “You look nice. And you smell wonderful.”
Pierce had purchased a few items for Izzy in Las Vegas including clothes and a new fragrance.
“Thanks. I actually took a shower today unlike some people.” She reached over and smoothed Ally’s hair. “You haven’t left the house all week, have you?”
“I haven’t left the bed.” Ally strained with every word like it was too much work to even speak. She stretched her arms and yawned. “There was a storm.”
“Honey, that may be true, but there isn’t a cloud in the sky now. Come on, let’s get you up and in the shower. We’ve got lots to do and lots to talk about.” Izzy started barking orders at the sloth who resembled her best friend.
When Ally finally got out of the bed, Izzy noticed she was wearing her Razors jersey. Izzy sighed, but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, she listened to make sure Ally actually turned o
n the shower and got into it and then went back into the living room to bring her luggage to the bedroom. On her way, she saw the light flashing on the answering machine. She pushed the green play button.
“Uh, hey Izzy, it’s Ben. I’ve been trying to get a hold of Ally…”
Great.
Izzy hauled her suitcases into the bedroom. She had left with only two and brought back four. Pierce liked to buy her things. Expensive, sparkly things. And she wasn’t about to argue. Hey, she was dating a billionaire. Why not let him lavish her with all things Swarovski and Gucci? It was her time to shine and Pierce was happy to provide the diamonds.
Ally came out of the bathroom drying her hair with a towel. She was dressed plainly in a tee shirt and jeans, but they were clean and she was awake.
“Wow, you really do look great, Iz.”
Ally was pleasantly surprised at her friend’s appearance. Izzy was wearing a tailored white suit that contrasted against her tanned skin. Her blouse covered her cleavage for one of the first times in her life. Her look was stylish, yet sophisticated. It was a look that was at the opposite end of the spectrum as her pre-Pierce wardrobe of mini skirts and spaghetti straps.
And Izzy looked…happy. The glow she had always worked so diligently to create with cosmetics was there naturally now. Her relationship with Pierce looked good on her.
“Thanks.” Izzy smiled. “You look…better.”
Trying to become human again, Ally thanked her and ran a brush through her hair.
Remembering the message on her machine, Izzy glared at Ally sternly and put her hands on her hips. “Stop blocking him out.”
“What are you talking about?” Ally was caught off guard by her sudden change in tone and set down the brush.
“The message, Ally. Why didn’t you pick up when he called? You’re meant to be together, but yet you keep pushing him away. Hell, I pictured the two of you living in the suburbs with five kids by now.”
“Jeez, welcome back, best friend. It‘s complicated. And since when did you become Miss Relationship?” Ally asked defensively.
“I’ve kissed a lot of frogs, Ally, and I know the Princes don’t come around very often, if at all. I’m not going to stand by and let you sink this relationship. And besides, even Gram knew Ben was the one for you.”
“Don’t you dare bring Gram into this!” Ally’s eyes swelled up and she sat on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sor--,” Izzy started to apologize, and then thought otherwise, “--no, I’m not sorry. Gram wouldn’t have wanted you to wallow around like this in your own filth and self-pitying depression.” She sat down next to Ally. “I know it’s hard and you’re grieving, but I can’t stand by and watch you whither away. You’re too beautiful and special and smart.” She squeezed Ally’s arm, willing her to understand.
Ally lifted her head and looked over at her with big blue watery eyes. “Really? You think I’m beautiful and smart?”
“And special.” Izzy smiled. “But not in a Special Ed kind of way either.”
Ally tried to suppress a laugh and it came out a distorted grunt. “Don’t quit your day job. You’re not as funny as you think you are.” Ally wiped her nose on her sleeve.
“You’re going to be okay, Ally. You need to believe that.”
“I doubt that. It’s always just been me and Gram and then Ben comes along and it was so nice to have him by my side, helping me, supporting me and just being there. It was stupid of me to get used to having him, a man, there for me. So stupid.”
“Maybe it’s time that you were there for him,” Izzy said.
“God, Izzy. Sometimes you can be so damn…”
“Right?”
“Ugh,” Ally snorted and ran her fingers through her damp hair, not giving Izzy the satisfaction of agreeing with her. “You’re a real pain in the ass.”
“I know. But at least I look good doing it.”
“Speaking of day job. Do you even work anymore? Or are you a professional jet-setter socialite these days?”
“Shut up, smart ass. I do it all.”
“So, how was your trip?” Ally quickly changed the subject. Her dilemma with Ben wasn’t going to be solved that minute.
“It was fabulous in every way.” Izzy opened up one of her Louis Vuitton suitcases and started unpacking. She pulled out several binders of study material for her Brokers License that were loaded on top.
Shit.
She wasn’t supposed to unpack these in front of Ally. She didn’t want her to find out yet. Not like this. Now it was too late.
“Wow, Iz. I wouldn’t necessarily call this light reading!” Ally weighed the hefty stack in her hands and started flipping through the binders. “Real Estate Principals, Business Economics, Broker Management…” Her voice trailed off when her eyes caught the state seal on the bottom of the page. It was the same on all of the binders.
Ally read it out loud in a whisper. “Nevada State Real Estate Exam and Broker License.”
Izzy didn’t have to look up to know that Ally’s jaw had hit the floor.
“Nevada?” Ally breathed the word out like a balloon being deflated.
She was now officially empty. Void of all things. Not just air, but love and family and Ben and now her best friend.
Nevada.
Ally dropped the heavy binders on the bed where they landed with a thud.
“Ally,” Izzy paused and tried to find the right words. There were none. She had agonized about this the entire trip home. Any way she said it, it came out sounding incredibly selfish. “There’s something I have to tell you.” She continued pulling clothes from the suitcase, trying to keep her hands busy.
“Yeah, I would say so.” Ally already knew what she was going to say and her stomach twisted into a knot. She held her breath and nodded for Izzy to continue.
Out with it.
“Pierce asked me to move in with him.”
Ally grimaced. The Band-Aide holding Ally together was ripped off in one fluid sentence.
“What?” Ally was outraged. “You two have only known each other for a few freakin’ months!”
“He wants me to travel with him and be his companion. We’re getting married.”
Band-Aide number two.
“Have you completely lost your mind? Izzy, he’s old enough to be your father. Maybe even your grandfather and now you’re talking about marriage and companionship? I thought this was another one of your phases!” she shouted, each word louder than the last. Then she paused and flung her arms in the air. “Oh, I get it. It’s about the money. God, what’s with you people and money?” she asked, referring to Ben as well.
It wasn’t true. She knew that. But she was frantically grabbing for ammunition. Then again, maybe it was true. This was happening too damn often to be a lousy coincidence.
“It’s not about the money,” Izzy argued. “It’s not about age or any of those things. Pierce makes me feel safe and secure and loved. Ally, no man has ever made me feel like this before.” She reached for Ally’s hand, but Ally yanked it away. Izzy grabbed for it again and held on anyway. “He will take good care of me and that’s a helluva lot more than I can say about anyone else I’ve ever been with. Do you remember when we were ten and we built a fort in your room out of the dining room chairs and Gram’s old Afghan blanket? We would snuggle in and pretend we were waiting for our Prince Charming to come rescue us from the castle.
“Ally, Pierce is my Prince Charming. He is. I know it because I can feel it all the way down to my Manolo’s.” Izzy put her arm around Ally’s waist and pulled her close. “Sweetie, I love him. I’m happy when I’m with him. And besides, he appreciates me and all my high maintenance glory.”
A faint smile formed through Ally’s trembling lips and Izzy was happy to finally see her smile.
Although Ally felt blindsided, she recognized the sincerity in Izzy’s words. How could she deny Izzy’s fairytale come true?
“When did all of this happen?” Ally gasped. “I had n
o idea it was getting this serious. Did I miss something? Where was I when this was going on?”
“Well,” Izzy patted her hand, “You’ve were pretty busy with your own blooming romance.”
“Right. It bloomed and then died a horrible, painful, excruciating death.” Ally scrubbed her hands over her face.
“That’s because you stopped watering it and moved it out of the sunlight.”
“Oh, Izzy.” Ally squeezed her tight. “Can you blame me for wanting to keep you here all to myself? I love you, sweetie.”
“Yeah, I’m not so bad. I love you too even though you’re about as stubborn as a freakin‘ mule.”
Ally sniffled. “When are you moving?”
“I told Pierce as soon as I get my best friend off her ass and back on track.”
“But that’s not going to happen,” she wined and more tears stung the back of her eyes. “Everything’s falling apart and I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“You have a great future in store for you, not to mention a man who loves you.”
“Yeah, a man who is currently 1,300 miles away.”
“I don’t care if he’s on the planet Neptune, Al, you need to make things right and get on with life. It’s passing you by and you won’t even open your eyes to see it.” Izzy stood up and pulled Ally to her feet.
It’s passing you by.
“That’s what Gram said to me.” Ally whispered.
“Well, she was a wise woman and she was right. No more standing still.”
No more standing still.
“Oh, God. I need to sit down.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
New Beginnings
Training camp had arrived and Ben couldn‘t wait to start the new season. Opening night was in just three short weeks.
After he was fitted for new skates, Ben looked around at his new locker room in awe. Newly remodeled, the Denver Blizzards’ 200,000 square-foot practice facility offered four UNHL-sized rinks, a weight room, sauna, pool table and video room for the players.
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