by Barbara Lohr
Finally she pulled back. “Going home to Hazel Hurst with you explained so much.”
“Let’s not over analyze.” The skin under her chin was so soft.
“You’re right. I can do that, you know.”
“Yes, I know. Enough is enough.” He jerked her waist closer. Crap, she hitched one leg over his thigh, rocking her body slowly against a part of him that sprang to life.
He was going to bust a gut...or something in that vicinity. “You enjoying that?”
“Yep. Sorry.” She clenched her jaw and leaned back, like she was trying for a good angle.
Cameron groaned. “Nothing to be sorry about.” He dropped kisses on her long damp neck until she shivered. Giggled when he whispered that he wanted to lick her like a popsicle. Then he silenced her moans with his lips.
Craziness made his head spin. Felt like he was about to plunge into water so deep he might never surface. The only other time that came close was when he’d persuaded Tammy to elope.
Caution nipped at the edges of his mind.
“This is probably a bad idea.” Panting, he came up for air.
“Absolutely.” She yanked the sweatband from his hair.
“I can’t help myself. Don’t want to.” He rested her on the sink and cursed these damn jeans.
Harper threw her head back, blotting her neck with his scarf. “You have to stop teasing.”
“Then stop moaning.”
“Not gonna happen.”
God she was hot. Cameron took her lips like he owned them. His entire body burned. He was working up a serious sweat and was glad his workers had left. Lips and hands went everywhere, like their bodies were Braille and they were reading each other for the first time.
Had he been treating Harper like a girl when she was really a woman? The thought hammered him, knocking him breathless. Chest heaving, Harper stilled in his arms.
Harper Kirkpatrick was all woman.
And he wanted her.
Wanted her so bad, he started to shudder from holding back.
“Hey, you okay?” She swiped back his matted hair with fingers that left tingling tracks.
“More than okay.” He cupped her breasts through the soft fabric, flicked his thumbs across their peaks before trailing fingers down her rib cage, wanting to memorize each ridge. Her hips kept undulating until he seriously wondered if the guys had gotten around to hooking up the shower in this room. The heat had pumped up his blood pressure for sure, but to leave would be to lose this. Couldn’t risk it.
“I need some water.” He turned on one of the spigots behind her, relieved when water spurted out on a burst of air pockets.
She laughed, her teeth flashing. “Getting overheated, Mr. Bennett?”
“Burning up, Ms. Kirkpatrick.” Cameron’s eyes never left her face as he scooped and dribbled cool water down her cheeks and throat. With an impatient moan, she yanked down the neckline of her tee. His breath caught as he watched it funnel into the deep valley between her breasts. Harper reached behind her and let the water run over her hands. Then she pressed them wet and cool on his cheeks.
“Haven’t been this naughty in a while.” But her eyes looked kind of sad.
Cameron nudged her to one side and ducked his head under the faucet. She laughed when he came up sputtering. He felt like he was seventeen again, down at the creek with Lucinda Wilkins, wondering how far he could go. “This brings back some memories.”
Harper’s laughter died. She looked at her wet clothes with surprise, like she didn’t know how this had happened. “I shouldn’t be doing this.”
He drew back. “You mean because you work for me?”
Shaking her head, she ran one wet hand through her long hair. “That and I was, well, in love with someone. Wasn’t that long ago, and we shouldn’t...I mean I shouldn’t...” Stuttering, she handed him his scarf.
Shock knifed him. “Who? That Adam guy you meet for lunch?”
“Heck no, Adam’s just a friend. But there was, well, someone. It’s over but…” The confusion in Harper’s eyes shook him up plenty.
Setting her on her feet, he wetted the kerchief under the faucet until it was sopping. Then he knotted it around his forehead, wishing it were a block of ice.
One sip of that warm soda and her eyes turned moody.
Cameron blinked. If that’s how it was, painful as it would be to be around Harper while she dreamed about someone else, he could not lose another nanny. Especially not this one. Bella adored her.
And so did he. The realization sliced him like a x-acto knife.
Reaching down, she grabbed the small cooler and shoved it at him. “Almost forgot your supper. Connie will kill me.”
“That’ll happen. Forgetting, I mean.”
“But it shouldn’t.” Her eyes clung.
“Only one thing I’m hungry for right now and it’s not shrimp.” His mother would tell him he was being stubborn again.
Looking troubled, she turned to leave.
He grabbed her hand. “Share it with me?” He couldn’t let her go, not like this.
She hesitated.
“I hate to eat alone.” He slipped his fingers through hers.
“All right.” She studied their hands.
“We can have a picnic on the back porch.”
Harper leaned away and then swayed back toward him. “Sounds nice.”
He snagged a couple of cold beers from the refrigerator and led her outside. The original back porch still stood, although it would be replaced in a couple of weeks. The men had dragged a picnic table up here. Cracking open the cooler, he grabbed the plates Connie had set on top of the container of shrimp. Harper opened the plastic tub of sauce, and they both dug in, shelling the shrimp before dipping them into the sauce.
Food was a safe topic. “Connie makes a mean sauce. Can you feel it hit the back of your throat?”
Harper just nodded, looking like she was a million miles away. He was consuming two shrimp for her one. He felt famished. Insatiable. They ate in silence, the only sound the crackling of the shells as they tore them off. Didn’t matter how many. Nothing touched his hunger.
“Your breathing’s okay?” he asked, loving the way the moonlight accented Harper’s fine features.
“Yep. Besides, I have my inhaler.” She shrugged, taking another shrimp.
When a drop of hot sauce appeared in the corner of her lips, he swiped it with one thumb. She lifted her eyes and smiled. “Thank you.”
“Just taking care of you.”
The pulse throbbed at the base of her throat. “Yeah. Right.”
Their look was long and steady. He fought the urge to sweep the food from the table and take her right there.
But he didn’t want it like that. She looked confused. Troubled.
Cameron cleared his throat. “Now about the Winston Hill project…” He felt like a fireman talking a victim off a ledge.
Somehow, he had to get Harper back in her comfort zone.
Chapter 23
What had she done? Harper threw herself up the back stairs of the house. She could hear Cameron pulling the Bentley into the garage behind her as she ripped open the kitchen door.
Connie looked up from loading the dishwasher. “Everything okay? Did Mr. Bennett get his dinner? You don’t look so good.”
Gripping one of the kitchen chairs, Harper sucked in a breath. “Must be something I ate.”
“What? I just bought that shrimp today.”
Harper raised one hand. “No, it wasn’t the shrimp. Could you put Bella to bed tonight?”
Connie nodded, but her eyes held a question.
In the TV room, Ninja warriors roared. Harper stuck her head in. “Not feeling well, Bella. See you tomorrow, honey.”
Bella looked up. “Okay. Sorry you’re sick, Harper.”
“I’m sure I’ll be better soon.” As soon as I have my head examined.
Harper heard the back door open as she sprinted up the stairs. She didn’t breathe again unti
l she threw herself onto her bed. The springs squeaked as she rolled over onto her back. What the heck? Jumping up, she yanked open her lingerie drawer and shoved one hand under the panties. After pulling out the framed picture, she settled into the rocker.
She’d felt so out of control tonight with Cameron. Cripes, she had to bring up Billy to stop the train about to mow her down. Harper tossed Billy’s picture onto the bed. She loved Cameron. But memories so obviously had interfered tonight. She didn’t want half of him. She wanted the whole Cameron Bennett. Lord knows she was being stubborn and McKenna would probably tell her that. But if she couldn’t have him, heart and soul, if he couldn’t get beyond memories of his dead wife, well then, what future did they have?
But Harper had never felt this way before. Cameron pulled on her body and her mind in so many ways. Like she wanted to live inside him. The thought terrified her. She was just beginning to get a grip on her life and she could endanger everything. Give a piece of herself away and risk losing a job she liked? And just when she was really enjoying the extra curricular work they were doing together on Winston Hill House.
Oh, this was extra-curricular all right.
She didn’t want to feel like a hook-up. Her chest knotted when she remembered Cameron’s hesitation. Could a man ever get over losing a wife he truly loved? Harper had sure been ready to take it further. Starved for physical comfort, she’d acted like a trollop. Harper touched her throbbing lips, reaching for the feelings that had driven her crazy.
Took her a long time to get to sleep that night. Crazy dreams shook her awake, hot and sweaty. In her dreams she was reaching, blinded by some light but always searching. Her hands came up empty. When she dragged herself to the window, she saw the light from Cameron’s office below. Looked like he was working late.
Harper tried to relax into April, her favorite season in Savannah. The trees and bushes had turned to early summer green. Pollen-filled tulips made her eyes itch and her nose run. Still, she liked them.
Harper liked a lot of things that were bad for her.
Usually she felt so carefree in April. Everything seemed possible. Not this year. Since the episode at the Winston Hill House, she stayed away from Cameron. Not easy but necessary. As the days passed, thoughts of leaving ran through her mind. She’d even pulled her duffel bag out of the closet one night.
“That would be cowardly,” McKenna told her when Harper called her sister in desperation. “And you are not a coward, Harper.”
Harper had fallen back onto her bed with a sigh. “I know you’re right. But I am jumping out of my skin.”
The throaty chuckle from her sister made Harper squirm. “Maybe they call that love, baby sister.”
In her heart, Harper knew that was true.
“Isn’t your birthday coming up?”
“Right. Bella’s too.”
“Perfect. Why don’t you wait until then. See how you feel. Better to leave because you’re headed for something else, not because you’re panicked and bailing. You have to work through this.”
“But he’s my employer.”
“Yes, he is and the two of you should talk about that.”
Her sister was right. After ending the call, Harper tucked the duffel bag back into the closet. Going home to Oak Park would be more a retreat than a jubilant return and that sucked.
One evening she was making a meatloaf with fierce punches and jabs when she glanced up to find Cameron in the doorway. Eyes on the bowl, he looked startled. One swipe of those baby blues, the shadow of a grin and he disappeared. Her hands shook so bad she could hardly pick up the recipe card.
Pipsqueak was growing in ungainly spurts and Harper took her on walks while Bella was in school. The puppy tired long before Harper did. She loved cuddling the puppy’s squirmy warmth and carried her upstairs for soulful conversations. The mutt would listen with liquid brown eyes and roll over for a tummy rub.
Trollop. Harper wanted the same—from Cameron. A real problem.
The puppy never left Bella’s side and even slept in the big queen size bed. Now when Harper picked Bella up from play school, Pipsqueak yipped on the seat next to her.
Harper worked to fill her time and empty her mind. Her thoughts were filled with Cameron Bennett, in all his complexity. And Cameron had become her body’s obsession. Every time she saw a sink, she blushed remembering how she’d balanced on the edge of one at Winston House while Cameron’s lips teased and tormented her. She’d relived that evening a hundred times and the mental pictures still stole her breath, like an August day in Savannah. The other picture etched deep was the sight of him at his father’s grave. Life hadn’t dealt Cameron Bennett a fair hand, that’s for sure. And after being raised under harsh circumstances, he’d lost the wife he adored.
Meanwhile, Bella had begun to eat, and she was sampling way more than cotton candy or applesauce. The feeding sessions between Cameron and Bella led to sliced peaches, then pears. Chopped up spaghetti eventually was replaced by pizza. Feeding Pipsqueak had helped Bella turn another corner. Harper could hear her tell the puppy that she had to eat or “or you won’t grow up to be a strong dog.” The earlier hectoring tone had been replaced by loving concern.
Still, nothing was the same. She had to face up to that. Being around Cameron had gotten so hard. The job she loved more than anything had become unbearably awkward. Leaving seemed the only answer. After the conversation with McKenna, she decided to wait until after Bella’s birthday party. She tried out her announcement on Adam first.
“You’re going home to Chicago? Are you crazy?” Adam’s cinnamon spice tea slopped over the side of his teacup. They were seated at Gryphon Tea Room, an early birthday present from Adam.
“This isn’t right for me anymore.”
“What are you saying? You love Savannah.”
Picking at her cucumber finger sandwich, Harper searched for the words. Her gaze traveled around the historic apothecary shop that housed the Gryphon. Sure, she loved the history of this city, but she couldn’t turn a corner without bumping into memories. Before it was Billy and now, Cameron. Every time she passed the Telfair Academy, she could feel Cameron’s arms around her, his chin on her forehead while they barely moved to the music. Still made her heart speed up when she thought of him rocking out to the faster beat. The beat of the drum still resonated in her body.
And Cameron? He resonated in her heart.
“Chicago had its own past. Maybe I belong to that history.”
Adam’s jaw dropped. “Where you begin isn’t necessarily where you end up, Harper. I grew up in Dubuque. Life moves on.”
Sometimes Adam made so much sense.
Sometimes Harper didn’t want to hear it.
“But my life isn’t moving forward here in Savannah. I’m going to miss you.” Adam had been a loyal friend. He was the guy who listened to whatever dirt she dished out and made it into stone soup.
Ripping open another packet of sugar, Adam stirred it into his tea. “Is it your job? Is that what you’re running from. Or is it Cameron Bennett?”
“I’m not running from anything.” Her mind stuttered to a halt. The blue eyes. The unruly dark blond hair that he didn’t plaster back with goo anymore. Harper smoothed her hands over the white linen tablecloth. “Maybe my work is finished here. Cameron will understand.” The name came out soft, like she didn’t want to let it go.
Adam’s mouth fell open. “Wait, it is Bennett. He’s gotten to you.”
Taking a scone from the tea caddy, Harper crumbled it in her fingers.
“If I knew you weren’t going to eat that scone, I would have grabbed it first.”
“Sorry.” She whisked the crumbs into a napkin.
“Is Billy Colton involved in this somehow? He hasn’t contacted you, has he?”
She groaned. “Lord no. That is so over.”
“Good. You can never go back, you know. Things are never the same.”
“I see it now. At least this time I finished something, Adam. B
ella is eating.”
Adam summoned the waiter. “Oh, missy. Don’t kid yourself. You definitely have unfinished business.”
The bill arrived in one of the quaint antique books Gryphon used for the check. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” Adam slid a credit card in with the bill.
Harper played with one green hoop earring. “Can’t talk about. I feel like such a slut.”
“That bad?” Adam set the bill aside. “Spill, missy.”
So she did. She’d never held anything back from Adam.
“So what did he say to you later?”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve been avoiding him.”
Adam threw up his hands. “Of course. Avoidance is always a good way to settle a situation. This is why you never saw it coming with Billy.”
“What do you mean?” Suddenly Harper was hungry. She grabbed the single leftover tuna finger sandwich.
“From what I could see, you and Billy always avoided confrontations. Talking about the need for world peace, this season’s color palette, or contemporary theater is easy. The personal discussions are something else entirely.” Adam leaned closer. “Being with someone is called a relationship because you relate.”
The tuna went down her throat in a painfully dry swallow. Adam was right. She’d always assumed Billy understood her. His comments in their theater class were always so on point. They’d jumped into their relationship lickety split and then held on for dear life. What had they really had in common besides pizza with chipotle spices? She’d sat through more horror films with him when she really preferred foreign movies. Subtitles irritated the heck out of Billy. When they partied on weekends, she wanted to dance. Billy preferred a corner where he could listen to the music and write his own lyrics. The one time she’d taken him home for Thanksgiving, he’d been overwhelmed by her family. Billy only had one brother, Al. “How do you put up with all this?” Billy had asked her on the drive back from Chicago.
Put up with it? She hadn’t known what to say. Back at school, Harper and Billy quickly fell into their campus life and Chicago was forgotten.
Had that school existence been realistic? Or was the day-to-day with Cameron and Bella real life?
