by Marina Adair
She shook her head, realizing that it didn’t matter if she won or lost, because right now, with him looking at her all soft and ooey-gooey, she felt as if she’d already won.
Sure, without the Gold Tin, it would be harder to make a go of Sweetie Pies, but not impossible. She’d come to Destiny Bay to take a chance on something great, make a new life for herself, and possibly find a home—and a place where she could be happy. She’d found that—and so much more.
The way her heart swelled confirmed it.
“When I got here, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever fit into a place like this, where people care for their neighbors. It was so different from where I grew up.” She placed her hand on his chest. “How I grew up, but now I can’t imagine ever going back to that kind of life.”
“Kennedy—”
“No, wait,” she said and felt his heart pick up beneath her hand. “I know you’re going to say you were just being neighborly, but you gave me something to fight for, Luke. Made me realize that it doesn’t matter if I win or not, I will get that contract with Cosmo, or maybe one of the other venders I met today. Bottom line is, you made me feel like I belonged even when I made your job harder. You showed me I can build a life here, make relationships, and find my happiness. You make me happy, Luke, and for that I wanted to say thank you.”
She watched as Luke’s face softened, his posture curled in around hers as if wanting to be right there with her, but his smile never came. “Kennedy—”
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman,” the mayor’s voice boomed through the microphone. “Welcome to the Sixty-eighth Annual Gold Tin Apple Pie Competition. A hundred and one pies were baked and tasted, and our seven esteemed judges have carefully cast their votes.” The mayor held up three envelopes, each leafed in a different color metal, and the crowd cheered. “There are three winners in my hand, and I have to say the margin between Gold and Silver was the closest it’s ever been. Now on to the winners.
“On behalf of the National Apple Council, I’d like to congratulate our Bronze Tin winner.” The mayor opened the first envelope. “Entry number 71, Sara-Lynn of Pie in the Sky, from Aberdeen, Texas, for her Poached Apple Pie with Moonshine and Caramel Glaze.”
“You got this,” Ali said over the cheering crowd.
“I hope so,” Kennedy said, because even though she’d just said it didn’t matter if she won or lost—she totally wanted to win. She wanted to prove her pie had what it took to stand out. That she had that gene se qua, even if people like her mom and Philip overlooked it.
Luke hadn’t and he knew what special was. Just look at his family, his friends, his hometown. He was surrounded by amazing and wonderful people every day, and yet he saw something in her that was impressive and worthy. And it was time she started seeing that for herself.
“And the Silver Tin goes to…” The mayor took his time opening the envelope. “Entry number 101, Kennedy Sinclair of Sweetie Pies, from Destiny Bay, for her Apple Harvest Citrus Pie.”
Kennedy strained to hear over the blood pounding through her ears, but she was pretty sure that her name had been called—but not for the Gold Tin. A hard concept to take in because she’d given it everything she had, but it somehow wasn’t enough. Which was strange, because she felt as if it were. Believed deep down that her pie was a winner.
She turned to Luke and heard herself say, “I’m sorry.”
His expression was concern and something that made her stomach queasy. “Why are you apologizing? You just won second place in the biggest apple pie competition in the country.”
“I know, but…” So much was riding on this. So many people were counting on her. Cosmo, Paula, her bingo team. Luke. They’d all helped her, invested time and belief into her. And she couldn’t help thinking that she’d somehow let them down.
“No buts, sweetness,” Luke said, so much affection in his voice she felt it hard to swallow. “It was the closest margin in the contest’s history, and you took on a sixteen-time champion with a pie you created a week ago. That is nothing to apologize about.”
She managed a watery smile. “You’re right, I took a risk, and I shouldn’t regret it.”
“Whoa.” He stilled. “But do you? Regret it?”
Pushing through the disappointment, she thought back to her journey. How she got here, how the recipe and this day had come about, and suddenly Silver felt pretty damn good. “No. I don’t.”
“Well, good to hear,” Cosmo said, joining them. “Because it was a solid pie, a true contender.” He sounded as proud as if she’d just won the Gold.
“I’m sorry, Cosmo, I know this wasn’t what we were hoping for.”
“Maybe not, but that pie impressed the hell out of me.” He took off his hat. “You, Miss Sinclair, impress the hell out of me.”
“You’re impressed by premade crust, Mo,” Fi said, and Kennedy turned back around, surprised to find the older woman had come back over and was standing by her side.
“Fiona, if you’re here to gloat, now is not the time,” Cosmo said sternly.
Fi’s face fell at his words. “I wouldn’t gloat at a time like this. Even though the girl and I differ in opinion some of the time, she’s a part of this family now. And when family is in need, we rally.” She looked at Kennedy and pursed her lips. “This is my rally face.”
Kennedy laughed, and the weight of the disappointment that came with competing like a warrior and walking away with the consolation prize lightened. She knew Fi wasn’t just referring to the Sweetie Pies family, but the greater family that made up this incredible town of Destiny Bay.
“Thank you, Fi.” Kennedy hugged her. “And congratulations, your HumDinger is amazing.”
Fi waved her off. “Don’t thank me just yet. That Gold Tin could belong to anyone here. Celebrating would be premature.” She eyed Cosmo. “Real women don’t go for the premature stuff.”
Kennedy wanted to point out that it could go to almost anyone there, anyone except her and Sara-Lynn, but the mayor was talking again.
“And this year’s Gold Tin winner is a surprising mix of old and new.” The crowd held its breath as the mayor opened the third, and final, envelope. Paula and Fi exchanged a look that Kennedy couldn’t decipher, and Cosmo squeezed the rim of his hat. “Entry number 9, Kennedy Sinclair from Sweetie Pies, for her Deep Dish HumDinger.”
“Oh my God,” Ali screamed. “You won!” She hugged Kennedy then grabbed her shoulders. “You! Won!”
The breath rushed out of Kennedy’s lungs. People turned to stare, a round of congratulations exploded around her, but she found it hard to understand what was happening. Felt the familiar embarrassment creep up, knowing she’d have to explain to everyone that her pie wasn’t chosen. She wasn’t picked.
“I’m not the one,” she said, looking at Luke, everything blurring around her. “I don’t know what happened, but they got it wrong. I’m not the one.”
“They got it right, child,” Fi said.
“I don’t understand.” She felt the first sting of tears behind her eyes.
“You’re the one,” Fi said with a smile. “I was getting ready to enter my pie this morning and someone told me that the true test of a pie was in the recipe.” By the way Cosmo and Paula were grinning, she knew they were the two someones.
“I snuck into the shop when you were busy loading the car and stole two of the HumDingers you’d baked this morning,” Paula said, giddy at the idea of stealing something.
“Then I entered your pies,” Fi finished.
“Why would you all do that?” Kennedy asked the collection of people whom she’d come to consider family.
“That pie belongs to Sweetie Pies,” Fi explained. “I had my time, and now it’s your time.”
“But I didn’t win,” she said to Cosmo, knowing that the truth was the only way she’d feel comfortable moving forward—even if it meant moving forward without a corporate client. “It was Fi’s recipe that won.”
“I wasn’t making up that part ab
out Barbara Cooper saying this year’s entry was better,” Fi said, taking Kennedy’s hands in her frailer ones. “Those pies had a gene se qua that is unique to you and your baking style. And the judges tasted it.”
“A gene se qua that Kline Fine Foods would love to sell in our stores,” Cosmo added, and Kennedy felt like laughing and crying all at the same time.
“Before I can agree…” Kennedy turned to her mentors, that burning sensation getting worse by the minute. “I want to make sure that Fiona and Paula are at every meeting we have, so that they are aware of what is going on, and can extend their wisdom when I need it.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Paula said, her face beaming with pride—pride for Kennedy. “We sold you the shop because we believed you were the perfect person to take over. So wherever you decide to take Sweetie Pies will be the right direction.”
“Fi?” Kennedy asked.
“As long as my picture is on every box that goes out, I’m good.”
“Then we’re good?” Kennedy asked, her chest so full of hope she was sure it would explode.
“We’re better than good.” Cosmo put his hat back on.
“You know what this means?” Luke asked.
Kennedy’s heart sank at the realization. She’d been so busy thinking about her own problems, she’d forgotten about Luke’s. “That you have to find new apples?”
Kennedy felt warm hands settle on her shoulders. “That your stubborn streak is powerful enough to enter one pie and walk away with two awards. And you know how I feel about your stubborn streak.”
Kennedy looked up and saw him smiling down, with an expression that spoke volumes. He was showing her that he was there, he had her back, even though this meant he had to pay top dollar to make his goal.
Last week, Luke had faced a difficult choice, and yet he’d chosen her. And he was choosing her now, stubborn streak and all.
“This is how I feel about you.”
Kennedy rolled up on the tips of her toes, not stopping until her lips met his in a kiss that was soft and giving. A thank-you that couldn’t be said with words, and a promise that she was too scared to say. She heard Paula clap and Fi chuckle. Ali, well, she was bemoaning the fall of a good woman. But Kennedy didn’t care—she was too happy to think about anything but Luke. And this perfect moment.
Happy that she could stay. Here in Destiny Bay.
“You are one of the good guys, Luke.” His smile faltered and Kennedy kissed his cheek. “You are.”
Cosmo cleared his throat and Kennedy stepped out of Luke’s arms. “I’d like to drop by the shop next week with the final contract.” He paused. “As long as that’s okay with you, Fiona.”
Fi considered that for a long moment, where everyone was holding their breath. “Bring me flowers and maybe this time I won’t hit you with the car.”
Cosmo laughed, then patted Luke on the back. “I never would have thought to check in with legal about this Gold Tin title business so I’m so glad you mentioned it, Luke. It worked out better than we could have hoped.”
Everything stilled, slowing to a painful stop. Kennedy’s smile died, and Paula clutched her heart. Ali, she was back to clutching her pitchfork. And Luke, oh God, Luke was frozen. It took Cosmo a moment to realize that the air had shifted, and the celebratory joy vanished.
“You told Cosmo that it would be a legal problem to sign with me?” Kennedy asked, her throat so tight, the words cut on the way out.
“Lucas? What did you do?” Paula said, and that simple question, combined with the panicked and apologetic expression Luke wore, was like a knife to the chest.
“I guess you do love being right,” Kennedy said, hating the vulnerability in her voice. She stepped back from the force of the truth, and wrapped her arms around her stomach while the shock of it all reverberated through her. “And here I thought that maybe you’d actually loved me.”
He stood there silent for a moment, heartbreakingly horrified, as if he could see the pain pierce right through her chest. Her heart. Her soul. Until she was sure there was no layer left unmarked.
“Kennedy,” Luke said, but this time the sound of her name on his lips made the sick feeling in her stomach come back.
“Why don’t you buy us ladies a drink,” Fi said to Cosmo. “And let’s let these two talk.”
Kennedy didn’t want to talk, she wanted to run—all the way back to her grandma’s and hide. But no matter how hard she wished it, her feet refused to move.
So did her heart.
Then she remembered wishes weren’t real, and apparently neither were good men.
“How could you do that?” she demanded. “You knew what it could mean for me.”
“Let me explain.” A statement she knew well, which was only necessary when trying to lessen the blow.
“When people get comfortable, they make room for someone with the determination and drive to move right in,” she repeated, her hand covering her heart, holding it there as if the action alone would keep it from breaking.
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Of course it was, and I am the stupid one for letting you make me feel comfortable, because you moved right in and I didn’t even wonder why.”
“You weren’t stupid, I was,” he said, but she wasn’t listening; she was too busy seeing everything for what it was.
She drew in a shaky breath, pleaded with her heart to hold it together until she was alone. But it didn’t work; she felt the frayed edges pull until she was certain they would all unravel, right there. Become nothing more than discarded threads of who she was.
“The surprise dinner, the unexpected delivery, taking me to your childhood home.” Her voice broke on the last word. “That was doing your due diligence, studying me to figure out what I needed from you so you could close the deal, right? You wanted your apples. Told me from the start that you would do anything to get them, and the rest of it was strategy, a play from your game book. And I fell for it.”
“No.” He stepped forward and her feet finally got the message and moved back. “Okay, at first it was, but then something changed, and I got to know you.”
This time when the tears threatened, she couldn’t stop them from flowing. Didn’t want to. Because it wasn’t her heart that was weeping; this time it was her soul. “What changed was you slept with me, tactical error on your part, because then your conscience kicked in and that good guy complex you are so proud of wouldn’t let you screw me over. Well, guess what? You did anyway. And this. This”—she clutched her chest—“hurts so much worse than losing some stupid apples.”
“I don’t want the fucking apples,” he said. “I want you, I want more of this feeling that I can’t explain, but can’t ever imagine losing.”
Kennedy knew what it felt like to be overlooked or forgotten, but that gut-wrenching pain was nothing compared to what it felt like to be a second thought. Fi was right—second place was the first loser.
She bit her lower lip to keep it from shaking, and when she was sure she could talk without completely losing it, she said, “Well, guess what? This feeling you don’t want to lose was never there to begin with. That’s the problem with lies, Luke. Once you see them for what they are, everything that was special before suddenly seems empty.” She wiped angrily at her cheeks. “And I don’t want to feel empty. Not anymore. I want what everyone else seems to find so easily.”
“Nothing is easy,” he said. “You have to fight for what you want, give me a second chance to fight.” He took her hands in his and she wanted to say yes, wanted to give him the chance, but her words stuck in her throat, creating a silence that lingered and grew until speaking became impossible.
It wasn’t the comfortable silence they’d shared in the sunroom or at the cottage; this was strained and awkward. Painful. The kind of barrier that happens when one finally sees the truth through the trees. “I’ve fought my whole life, Luke. I guess I was looking for love this time around.”
Unable to hold his ga
ze, Kennedy glanced around at the town square, at the people laughing and celebrating—sharing a history and a lifetime of memories that could bond as easily as they could isolate. Then she looked back at Luke and knew that she could never have what she wanted here. “The funny thing about good guys is that saying good-bye hurts so much more.”
She brushed his cheek with her lips then stepped back—all the way back. And even though the words burned so hot they’d leave a mark, she said, “Good-bye, Luke.”
Chapter 18
Luke worked from home all day Sunday and straight through the next few days, even pulling an all-nighter on Wednesday. When he wasn’t in the orchard, he managed to find enough paperwork to keep him busy, and when that ran out, he double-checked the work orders. But now the sun was rising and he needed to head home and shower before he came back to the harvest once more.
And since he’d blown it with Kennedy, he headed across town, instead of to the cottage, where he imagined sliding into bed next to her warm body, and rousing her awake with the promise of hot coffee and an even hotter shower.
For a woman who chose a career that started with the sun, she sure loved to sleep in. So he’d have to get creative. Wouldn’t be a problem since he loved getting creative with her.
Too bad his creativity was only good for dreaming, because the reality was he’d screwed up. In true Luke fashion, he’d been so focused on the big picture, he’d missed all the little signs along the way. Like the fact that he was pretty sure he loved her.
Shutting off the engine, he checked his phone. He had a dozen texts, a few from his mom, one from a customer, the rest from Hawk. None from Kennedy.
He thought about calling her again, but knew today was her big day with Cosmo. And he hadn’t managed to get over ruining her last big moment.
There was a lot he couldn’t seem to get over these days. He was about to take his dad’s cider national, get back his mom’s property, and set things right. Yet all he could think about was that haunted look on Kennedy’s face, the way she’d held it together long enough to assure everyone that she knew she hadn’t been chosen—that she knew this moment had been coming all along.
