She wanted Mike to be happy and knew if she chose to be with him that he would be happy, but in the back of her mind, she also worried that she wouldn’t be enough. She was concerned that she would not be able to give enough to him. She had hidden the parts of herself away that she didn’t want anyone to see. Skye struggled between her heart and her mind. She constantly wondered whether she should follow her head or her heart.
Her heart had lead her down the wrong path before and had left its permanent scars on her body and soul. Some people she knew had claimed that if you were with a friend then it could be the greatest relationship in the world. Skye’s biggest worry was that if it didn’t work out, then she would lose a great friendship with Mike.
“I cannot tell you what to do. Yes, he was your betrothed. That was in a time when we thought we would be raising you here in our homeland without any interference from the outside world. I think things might have been different for you had I stayed here with you and your mother. But your mother’s family at the time didn’t give us that choice. She had to give you up and I had to take you and raise you. I knew that you were too important, too special to let any stranger raise you. As hard as it was to leave Cloud, I knew I was doing right by taking you. Your mother wanted nothing but your happiness and safety. I think she blames herself for your pain.” Gary said with a sigh.
“I know and it’s not her fault. I know her family was unstoppable. She’s explained that and I believe her. I don’t blame her.” Skye said.
“You may not my dear, but she blames herself.” Skye looked to her father.
“Am I so much of a disappointment that she feels she has to place blame?” Skye couldn’t keep the pain from her voice. She often wondered if her mother had been disappointed in who she was. Skye thought maybe that was why her relationship with her mother wasn’t as solid as her relationship with her father.
“Never!” Cloud’s voice came in from behind her. Skye turned to see her mother standing in the doorway. Even with dirt on her clothes and cheeks she still looked like a goddess. Kel and Buck were behind her holding baskets of fruit and vegetables. They quickly placed them on the kitchen table and headed upstairs to change and shower.
“Mom…” Skye wasn’t sure what to say.
“I don’t know why you would ever think I’m disappointed in you, Skye. I’m so proud of the woman that you have become. Yes, it does break my heart to see how your heart aches and I blame myself for that as well as other terrible things you have been through.” Cloud said as she approached her daughter.
“You mean things like falling in love with a demon and losing my virginity to him.” Skye saw the flinch on her mother’s face and it felt like a dagger to her heart. “I know you wondered if that was what had happened and yes it was. I can’t keep secrets from you anymore. I feel like they aren’t helping us.” Skye confessed.
“You are right, my love. I’m not disappointed you slept with a demon. I’m saddened by it. If you had not felt so alone, you would have not gone down that path where he lied to you and hurt you. Your angst is what hurts me, I’m disappointed in myself for not saving you from that heartache.” Cloud said softly.
“Mom, it’s not your fault. Maddox and I felt an immediate connection and I fell for him. I knew what he was and that it was the opposite of what I am, but I still loved him.” Skye found herself staring downwards again and forced herself to look her mother in her eyes.
“It’s not just the demon, my child. It’s the fact that you harmed yourself in other ways.” Cloud looked down to Skye’s legs. Skye was wearing pants so others were unable to see the faint scars from where she used to cut herself, but Skye knew there was no use in denying what she had done.
“Cutting is something that humans do to relieve inner pain when they can’t find a way to get it out any other way. I felt so alone and confused. I’m not proud of it, but it was what kept me sane.” Skye said with a shrug.
“I don’t see how cutting your flesh helps you stay sane.” Cloud retorted.
“It’s hard to understand unless you’ve gone through it yourself. I’m not alone in it. I’ve not been doing it lately if you’re still worried.” Skye felt a little twinge of guilt. She had cut herself since coming to this land, but it had been a while since the last time she had done it. It wasn’t a complete lie. She did say ‘lately’.
Cloud decided not to argue about it. Gary walked over putting his arms around the two beautiful women in the kitchen. They all leaned in together and just felt the love between them. They let the love fill the silence. Words weren’t always necessary when you were with others of your own kind, Skye had found that out quickly.
Skye was still amazed at how the intimacy barrier with others seemed nonexistent when she was so close to her own kind. Her father had taught her ways of putting up simple barriers to keep her private thoughts to herself.
That had happened accidentally when he had found her crying in her room over Maddox not long after they arrived a year before. Skye’s thoughts were filled with how Maddox had touched her softly and seemed to show his love through his sensual caress. Gary had accidentally been bombarded with those thoughts when he went in to comfort her. He held it together very well and did his best not to show her how disturbing that had felt to him.
Gary was a funny and patient man. He wasn’t disgusted that she had been thinking of sex with her ex, he was only wanting to let her keep those details private. He immediately showed her how to visualize a bright white light coming from her heart that would shoot out around her and it would protect her thoughts and feelings. It took practice, but Skye was a quick learner.
She had trouble letting the barrier down after mastering it and had to learn that everyone in her parents’ home were there to help her. She couldn’t shield herself from them at all times.
“Well your father and I are about to start lunch. Why don’t you go up and wake up Mike? Kel and Buck are getting cleaned up themselves.” Cloud said with a warm smile on her face. Gary had his arms around his wife with a huge smile on his face as well.
“I never did properly thank you both for letting my friends stay with me.” Skye said with a shy smile.
“They protected you and love you, of course they are welcome.” Gary said.
“I appreciate that, but Buck is a demon, and yet you have never once treated him like an outsider. I know he can be stubborn and temperamental, like me really, but you never treated him differently. Thank you.” Skye said with a small smile running upstairs to her room.
Skye paused outside of Mike’s room. His room had somehow been assigned to be directly across from her own room. She knew her parents had arranged that for several different reasons. Cloud and Gary believed Mike would always protect Skye and her safety was the most important thing to them. She also knew that they had hoped he would be able to fill the gaping hole she felt inside of her. She was so tempted to go to him, but she knew it would have been out of selfish needs and not for his own good.
She leaned against his door, placing her head against the door in frustration. She fought with her instincts to just go to him. To just allow him to comfort her and to give him the comfort he deserved. She let her hand slip down to the doorknob and was about to turn it when she lost her nerve.
She wasn’t ready for that decision just yet. Instead, she turned on her heels and went into her room quickly, shutting the door softly behind her. She leaned against her own door letting out a sigh. She wasn’t sure if it was relief or pure cowardice. At the moment she refused to think on it. Instead she would focus on getting ready for lunch with her family and her wonderful friends.
Chapter Two
Skye stood inside of her bedroom looking around. She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. It was beautiful, there was no denying that, but it was so different from what she was used to. She missed her dark walls covered in posters of her favorite bands and singers. She even missed her mismatched sheets.
This room was covered in flor
al patterns. It seems being a nature creature means that everything has to revolve around nature. Her walls were a bright yellow color covered in beautiful bright flowers.
Skye admitted to herself that the room didn’t feel like it was truly her own. She didn’t mind the optimism the room seemed to radiate, but she really did miss darker colors.
It made Skye giggle at the way her mother had first reacted to the dark clothes that she wore. Cloud seemed unable to comprehend why an elf would wear colors that ‘creatures of darkness’, as she put it, would usually wear. Gary seemed able to placate her by telling her that human fashion was always different and didn’t reflect on the person. Skye only smiled at his response.
She had been grateful when he defended her choice in wardrobe, but she also knew it wasn’t completely accurate. She had a darkness inside of herself, it had always been there. She tried to keep that part of herself hidden around her mother.
Cloud seemed to always be in a state of happiness and with Skye finally there, her life seemed to be complete. Skye didn’t want to take away from her mother’s happiness so she kept up the pretense of being a happy creature of light and just a little particular, as her father would explain, to Cloud when Skye seemed out of sorts.
Skye went to her closet that was filled with the typical sort of dresses she saw everyone in this land wearing. She had been thankful when her mother gave in and made a few dresses of darker colors for her. Cloud had only been willing to make black if it was accompanied with colors like pink or purple. Skye accepted what her mother did for her and was grateful she cared enough to give in when she knew her mother wanted to do anything but that.
Skye changed into a velvet hunter green dress. It came right above her ankles and was covered in dark lace. She sat in front of the mirror in her room as she brushed her pale hair. Skye raised her hand above her face and did a glamour spell like her mother had taught her. She concentrated on what she wanted her face to look like then lowered her hand to look in the mirror. She smiled as she saw the black eye shadow and black lipstick. Skye had to admit she missed her black makeup more than she missed television.
After a small sigh Skye put her hand above her face and lightened the makeup to match the dress. She removed her hand and shrugged seeing the sea green color on her eyes. It was dark enough to make her comfortable yet pretty enough to make her mother happy. It was a compromise she was willing to do for her mother. On her lips she just gave them a little hint of red. They had always been a nice shade of pink but she felt like red suited her better now. Skye had been shocked at how she had aged quickly in her home realm, but she also had to admit she liked looking mature. She could easily pass for a twenty year old.
After deciding to leave her long soft hair down she stood and turned towards the door. She saw Mike standing in the doorway staring at her. It was easy to see he approved of the look she had chosen. Skye felt both pleased by that and also annoyed. She didn’t feel that she looked like who she really was.
“You look beautiful. I’m sure your mother will be happy.” he said with a cunning smile. Skye couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m trying. I really am trying to please her.” Skye said gesturing to the dress.
“It’s a nice dress. At least it’s a dark green, maybe not your color, but you pull it off.” he said with an easy shrug.
“Thanks. She’s just so wonderful and I know it’s hard for her to see me in dark clothes, but frankly some of those bright colors in my closet scare the hell out of me.” Skye laughed, feeling happy she was able to be honest about it with him.
“After seeing you wearing mainly black for years, I think seeing you in some of those bright colors would frighten even me. You’re beautiful and could pull them off easily, but they just wouldn’t be you.” He said as he admired her beauty.
Skye felt a small blush on her cheeks and wanted to yell at herself for it. Mike was her friend she reminded herself. She had thoughts of finally giving in to him and what he had wanted, a relationship, but she didn’t know if she would ever be ready to open herself up again.
She had to admit his mouth was very alluring and looked like it would be a delight to kiss… again. His once rushed kiss left an impression on her. His lips curled up in a smile as he caught her staring at his mouth.
“Ready for something to eat?” he asked extending his arm to her like a gentleman. She decided to be a lady and took his arm, sliding her own through it. She thought it was nice to be valued and there was no lack of people in this land that seemed to admire her. It also made her uneasy and she tried her best to ignore that knee jerk reaction and just go with it.
They walked downstairs together into the dining area where everyone was already waiting on them. She saw her mother’s eyes brighten when she took in what Skye was wearing. Skye just smiled at her and saw the look of thanks her father was giving her for making Cloud happy. Mike pulled Skye’s chair out and then sat next to her.
Skye looked up noticing Buck was giving her a peculiar look. Skye raised her eyebrow at him in question, but before he could say anything Kel elbowed him in the ribs catching his attention. He looked to her with annoyance which quickly melted away when his eyes met hers. Skye wanted to laugh at the fact that Kel and Buck were together. They had not announced it yet, but anyone with eyes could see they were a couple.
Skye also knew who really wore the pants in the relationship and it wasn’t the demon. It was the shape shifter. That pleased Skye to no end to know her friend was happy, even if it was with Buck. If Skye was forced to admit it, she liked Buck even though he constantly reminded her of his cousin. She chose to ignore that part of him and just see him as a person, nothing else.
“I have an announcement to make.” Cloud said with her voice full of giddiness as she served everyone their food. She took Gary’s hand and stood looking over at the group.
“Don’t keep us in suspense, Mom.” Skye teased as she saw her mother looked as if she would explode from glee.
“There is going to be a great ball in your honor.” Cloud said looking proudly at her daughter.
Skye felt her heart drop into her stomach. She waited for the rest of the news hoping desperately it was a joke or anything else. When no one moved or said a word Skye worked hard to try to put a smile on her face and knew she failed miserably. Cloud’s face fell in sadness.
“This doesn’t please you.” she said with a frown.
“No mom, it’s not that. I just didn’t expect that.” Skye said trying to recover quickly. She looked to her friends in hopes they would jump in, but it looked as if they were going to let her fight this battle alone. Some friends she thought.
“Skye isn’t great with surprises Cloud, that’s all. Just give her a minute and she will be excited.” Mike finally spoke up. Skye looked to him thanking him by grabbing his hand under the table and giving it a squeeze. She went to take her hand back but he held it in his hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb.
“Mike’s right. I’ve never really gotten surprises in my life and this just came out of nowhere. A ball in my honor? Wow. That’s amazing, but why for me?” Skye asked feigning interest. As her mother spoke Skye tried hard to concentrate, but was too busy noticing that the way Mike stroked her hand softly gave her goosebumps all over her body. She desperately tried to ignore that feeling. It wasn’t working.
“With my family finally accepting you as my daughter, they are ashamed of forcing me to send you away. They want the whole realm to know that Princess Skye is back home. It’s a big deal. So many have awaited your return and are tickled to finally meet you.” Cloud said with a huge smile on her face.
“It really is a big deal, Skye. Your mother and I had to fight to be accepted as a couple. Once they accepted us, they wanted you to come back here and be with us. As you know, they didn’t allow us to leave to come get you though. They were worried you had become too human and would have no real abilities. When you came here with the help of your Nanna they finally saw tha
t you did have powers and that they should have allowed us to retrieve you long ago.” Gary said. Cloud nodded in agreement.
“So if I hadn’t of come into my powers, then they wouldn’t be throwing me a ball?” Skye had to admit she didn’t like the sound of it. It sounded to her as if they only wanted her because she was powerful. She didn’t want to be desired only because she had supernatural powers. She wanted people to accept her regardless if she had them or not.
“They would still love you dear. How could anyone not?” Gary said with a confident smile. Skye smiled back at her parents. She didn’t believe they were lying to her, but she also knew it was only because they chose to believe what they were saying. Skye knew if she had not been powerful that she would just be an intruder in the land that was supposed to be her home.
“I have been working to surprise you all with special clothes for the night.” Cloud said looking to all of them. Skye felt her heart warm a bit at the fact that her mother had included Buck in the group.
Skye knew that as a demon Buck was still hard for some to accept. Cloud seemed to have no problem accepting him once she found out he helped save her daughter. Skye remembered how awkward the first weeks there had been for Buck. He seemed at ease now.
She often wondered how he was able to accept being around people that were the opposite of his nature. She soon realized that when love was involved you were able to overlook things like that. She had once done the same. Skye looked over to Mike who was still stroking her hand gently. She smiled at him then back to her parents and then to her friends.
“Sounds great. When is it?” Skye asked.
“In two days at the castle.” Cloud said overflowing with giddiness. Skye smiled again, slowly slipping her hand out of Mike’s. She picked up her fork and began eating slowly. She kept up the smiles during the meal but once it was over, she almost ran off to her room to be alone. She quickly stripped out of her dress and put on her white tank top and black pants.
Slivers of Skye (The Skye Chronicles Book 2) Page 2
