“I have one more Jaks,” Seth said quietly everyone stopped and looked at him.
“What Daddy?” Jaks asked.
Seth sat down on the floor with him and opened the case pulling out a baby Taylor.
“You’re still a little young for this,” Seth said, “but you said you wanted a guitar for your birthday, and I thought this would be perfect.”
He pulled Jaks into his lap and started playing; I got up using the trash bags as an excuse to leave the room. When I was in the living room I couldn’t stop the tears any longer.
“Honey, you ok?” Mags asked putting her hand on my shoulder.
I shook my head. “I wish he wouldn’t have done that,” I whispered wiping my eyes.
“What, get Jaks a guitar?” she asked. “Why not?”
“It’s not just a guitar, it’s his baby Taylor, his first guitar, the one he learned on,” I said softly looking up at her.
“Oh,” she said softly.
I knew all about that guitar. How he had taken odd jobs, and saved for months when he was eight to afford that guitar, because the guy at the shop said it was the best for a kid to learn on. Oh he could’ve bought a cheaper guitar, but he wanted the best so he could be the best. It was one of his prized possessions, and he’d just given it to Jaks.
“Have you two talked?”
I shook my head. “Not really, nothing much to say.”
“Honey, you two still love each other.”
“Yea, well you know that saying right, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me?”
She shook her head. “You, Devlin Shaye need to remember you kicked him out the first time, and get over that, this last time he left because he thought he was doing the right thing. And if that fuck up, Alex hadn’t been such a douche the media crap that’s happened wouldn’t have.”
“Alex,” someone growled in the doorway.
I glanced up and saw Seth standing there with his hands balled tightly at his sides, I shot Mags a look that said ‘thanks for that’ she just shrugged. Of course she didn’t mind, she thought I should’ve called Seth a week ago and told him about Alex.
“What about Alex?” he ground out, with that Mags made a quick exit.
I rubbed my hands over my face and let out a groan, I wasn’t going to get out of this.
“He called about a week ago. Demanded money, when I laughed at him and told him I didn’t have any, he said I either gave him the money you were giving me because he was owed it more than me, and if I didn’t that I would regret it,” I glanced up at Seth, he was seething. “I hung up on him, a few days later the media shit happened.”
“Why. The. Fuck. Didn’t. You. Call. Me,” he yelled.
“What were you going to do Seth?” I yelled back.
“Hey you two, what’s going on?” Drake said coming into the kitchen.
I took that as my chance to escape; I really didn’t want to get into this with him, or anyone else. I didn’t call, I didn’t tell anyone but Mags, maybe I should’ve, but it was done. I didn’t really believe Alex would do anything, and I wasn’t about to give him any money.
“Where are you going Devi?” Seth bellowed.
I waved him off and kept going, when I got into the living room everyone was looking at me and Mags was holding a crying Jaks.
“Come here baby,” I said sitting beside Mags and taking Jaks. “It’s alright honey,” I crooned running my fingers through his hair then up and down his back; he buried his face in my chest muffling his hiccupping sobs.
Seth stormed into the living room and I glared at him, he took one look at Jaks crying and turned around and walked back out of the living room, then the back door slammed. Drake walked into the living room and glared at me, grabbed his jacket and left. Not the end to Jaks’ party I was planning, him in tears and everyone pissed at me.
I finally got Jaks to sleep and walked into the living room. Seth was the only one left, he was sitting on my couch with his arm flung over his face. When I walked towards the chair in the living room he looked at me, “Is he asleep?”
I nodded. “Yea, finally.”
“Good,” he said gruffly, he stood and started walking towards me. “Why didn’t you call Devi?”
“What good would it have done? You were a thousand miles away.”
“You didn’t tell anyone.”
“I told Mags.”
He snorted, “Yea, and she, of course kept your secret for you, even though you or Jaks could have been hurt.”
He was still walking towards me, he was pissed, I could see it on his face which caused me to back up until I hit the wall, but he kept coming. When he reached me he put his arms on either side of my head bracketing me in.
“Do you know what I would have done if something had happened to either of you?” he growled.
I bit my lip and shook my head.
“I would be in prison now Devi.”
I felt my eyes widen. “Why?”
“I would have killed him if he had hurt you,” he said quietly.
“Oh.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “’Oh’, that’s all you have to say?”
He leaned down and kissed me again, just a brush against the lips. “I can’t even think of what could’ve happened, because if I do, god Devi,” he murmured against my lips. I felt his tongue sweep across my lower lip, asking for entrance. I opened my lips slightly and he took full advantage, his tongue plunged into my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine. He gripped my hair in his hand to maneuver my head where he wanted it, to control and deepen the kiss, then he nipped at my lower lip before biting it and sucking on it, I moaned and he broke the kiss.
“Nothing happened,” I whispered.
“Only because he wanted money,” Seth growled, “but he could have easily done worse than going to the press.”
Then he kissed me again hard, tongues, teeth, and lips clashing for purchase, leaving us both gasping. He grasped my leg and pulled it up to his hip, then the other one, sliding his hands down my thighs so he was holding me up with his hands under my ass. I could feel his hard cock rubbing against the boy shorts under my skirt that had ridden up to my waist.
¯¯¯
I took her kissing me back as thoroughly and roughly as I was to be a yes. I reached down between us pulled her panties to the side and dipped my fingers into her wet heat and was rewarded with a whimper. I slowly stroked her clit while still kissing her, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold off much longer from plunging into her balls deep. I reached down and pulled the buttons on my jeans that gave easily and my cock slipped free of my jeans. I was just about to thrust into her when I remembered a condom.
“Fuck,” I growled.
“What is taking you so long?”
“Condom.”
“I’m on the pill, just hurry,” she whimpered.
I put my forehead against hers, thanking whatever deity for that, and then thrust into her. We both groaned, I gave her no time to adjust; I withdrew and thrust into her again. She felt like warm silk with no barriers between us, and I knew I wouldn’t last long. I continued thrusting into her fast and hard, causing both of us to groan and moan. I felt the first telltale sign of her orgasm when her pussy started fluttering around my dick. I pulled her hips up for a different angle, I knew I was hitting her g-spot with each thrust, she was gasping with each one and her muscles were tightening more and more trying to hold me inside her. A few thrusts later she screamed my name and I kissed her, wanting to take all of her into me. I started to come just after she did, both our orgasms drawing out the others.
Finally I was able to feel my legs again, and I slowly pulled out of her, kissing her again while I slid her body down mine. “I love you,” I murmured against her lips, “and I want you to marry me.”
She looked up at me with a shocked look on her face. “I can’t Seth.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t do this again.”
“That�
�s not an answer.”
“It’s all I’ve got, I can’t do this with you again. I can’t go back here just for you to walk away,” she whispered tears running down her face. I reached up and brushed the tears away kissing her tear stained cheeks.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Please don’t Seth.”
“I’m going to prove it to you Devi,” I said quietly.
She looked away rubbing the tears from her face “I don’t think you can, just go Seth.”
She turned around and walked towards her bedroom. I knew somehow I would have to prove it to her, and I knew words wouldn’t work this time.
I left her place making sure the door was locked and headed to my car thinking about what to I had to do.
“You’re sure you want to do this?” Drake asked me.
“Yea, I’m sure.”
“Alright, your funeral.”
With that we walked up to his parent’s front door and knocked. His father opened the door, “Mr. Porter.”
“Drake, Seth what can I do for you?” he nearly spit out my name.
“Hey Dad, can we come in, Seth and I want to talk to you?”
He opened the door and let us through, but he didn’t look happy about it. We went to the formal living room, and all sat down, both Drake and I were uncomfortable as hell; Mr. Porter just looked blank as usual.
“What do you boys need, bail money?”
We both shook our heads then Drake glanced at me.
“I want to marry Devi.”
He snorted. “Don’t you think it’s a little later for that?”
“No sir, I don’t.”
“Fine, she’s going to do what she wants anyway,” he said, “why come here?”
“Dad, Seth wants Grandma’s rings, the ring Dev is supposed to get when she gets married.” Drake said.
“Can’t afford to buy one?” he asked snidely.
I had to bite the inside of my mouth, “No sir, that’s not it, those rings mean a lot to her, she always envisioned using it as her wedding ring.”
“Dad, it’s hers.”
Devi’s dad looked at me, staring hard as if he was trying to get inside me, after a minute or so he nodded. “Fine, I’ll go get them, but Drake you don’t say a damn word about this to your mother.”
Drake nodded.
“Thank you, sir” I said.
He just gave me another hard stare and got up and walked out of the room. I blew out my breath and looked over at Drake, “Well could’ve gone worse.”
Drake snorted.
A few minutes later, he walked back into the living room carrying the velvet box that I knew held the rings that Devi had always loved.
“Thank you again,” I said when he handed the box to me.
He nodded, effectively dismissing us. Drake and I walked out the front door, and I still couldn’t understand how vibrant, artistic, Devi had grown up there.
Chapter Twenty Six
Mags choked on her margarita so I leaned over to pound on her back but she waved me off. “He asked you to marry him, and you said no?”
I nodded.
“Isn’t that the second guy to propose to you in a year?” Cin asked incredulously.
I nodded again.
“Why the hell would you tell Seth no?” Mags asked.
I looked at her, “You know why, I told you last night.”
“Because he might leave,” she shook her head. “Honey, there are no guarantees in this life, but the two of you, if you would just cut the bullshit would make it.”[V6]
“You can’t know that,” I said.
“No, I do know that, but what’s it going to take for him to convince you of that?”
I looked away, “I don’t think he can,” I whispered.
“Then you are going to be alone for the rest of your life Devlin Shaye, that man loves you, and you keep throwing it back in his face. One day he’s going to stop trying, he’s going to move on with his life and what will you have then?” she asked not waiting for a reply. “You think you’ll have your heart in one piece but we both know you won’t, you’ll have old hurt that festers leaving you jaded and I hate to tell you but that will not keep you warm at night.”
“You don’t understand,” I said getting pissed, “he left, twice.”
“Like I told you last night, the first time you threw his ass out and told him it was over and go to LA. You cannot not hold that against him, he would’ve stayed, hell, he was willing to do anything to make it work, but you got scared and you ended it. You kept his son from him, yea yea you tried, I remember I was there, but you know and I know that you still did it. He forgave you for that, he tried to make it work again. Then he realized what it would do to your life, so he left trying to protect you, trying to protect Jaks. You kept information from him that could have helped stop all the drama that’s going on now, but you wouldn’t call him, you let your damn pride get in the way. He’s trying his best to fix the drama you could have prevented. He asked you to marry him, and you yet again threw it back at him. So honey, I don’t want to hear it anymore about how he did this and how he did that because you yourself have done some shitty things to that man.”
With that Mags got up and grabbed her stuff and left, slamming the door behind her. “She’s right you know,” Cin said and left also.
I knew she was right in my head I had done awful things to Seth, and yet he still forgave me and came back over and over again. So why couldn’t I let go of the past, was it my pride? Was it my heart trying to protect itself? I knew I was scared, I just didn’t know what to do about it. Could I try and fail again, but on the other side, what if we tried and didn’t fail this time? What if it worked out and we were a family. I knew I wouldn’t get answers to my questions tonight, but I couldn’t seem to stop my brain from asking them. Could I risk having my heart broken again? Or worse yet could I let Seth walk away, let him go? The thought of him not in my life was scarier than any of the rest.
¯¯¯
I left Jaks at Drake’s, he had stayed the night with me the night before, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, but Drake had offered his key to Devi’s so I could break in and corner her. She’d been pretty much avoiding me since the night of Jaks’ birthday party, and I couldn’t come up with a better way to get her alone to talk to her and maybe for once get her to listen. So I took off early from Drake’s came over with bagels from her favorite shop and lattes hoping to pin her down. When she walked into the kitchen in her plaid flannel pajama bottoms and white thermal shirt hugging her curves I had to swallow hard. Her hair was still mussed from sleep, her eyes not focusing yet, and she was barefoot her toes painted a deep purple.
“Hey,” I said quietly trying not to startle her, she jumped anyway.
“Uhm, hi,” she said confused. “Where’s Jaks?”
“Still at Drake’s, I wanted to talk to you alone.”
“Oh ok,” she said looking away, but I noticed her red rimmed eyes.
“You ok, baby?” I asked standing up and walking over to her. When I reached her, I ran the back of my hand across her cheek feeling her soft skin.
“Yea, fine,” she said quickly, “what did you want to talk about?”
I dropped my hand. “Some things have changed, and they’re going to affect you, thought we should talk about them.”
“Sure, but can I make coffee first?” I walked back over to the table where I had left the bagels and latte and handed the latte to her she blinked. “Uhm, thanks.”
“I know you; you don’t function without coffee in the morning.”
She nodded then took a drink of the latte, closing her eyes, relishing the first sip.
“Better?”
“Yea, thanks, so what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Here, sit, let’s eat breakfast and talk,” I said gesturing to the bagels.
My Misery Muse Page 17
