by Julia Talbot
“Mmhmm.” Peyton hummed and the sound was so close to a growl that Grizz smiled.
Yeah, he would sleep now, and he wouldn’t panic about voices or biting or anything. Panic wasn’t his style at all.
Chapter Seven
Peyton slept through the day, no dreams, no worries, just a deep slumber that was warm and heavy, scented with bear.
He would have thought bear smell would be musky and unpleasant. Instead, he found it rather pleasant. Warm and heady, comfortable, bone-deep. He rolled over, searching for Grizz, but there was just an indentation where he’d been. There was a note on the wall just across from him, though.
“Have to ride tonight. Behave.”
How sweet.
More than a little pointless, because behaving wasn’t his style, but sweet nonetheless. He should totally cowboy up and go watch Grizz ride. It was dark out there now.
He showered and dressed in the Wranglers and button-downs that were still as familiar as putting on pajamas. More familiar, maybe. He hadn’t worn pajamas in a long damn time.
Peyton stretched, rising up on tiptoes before bending to put on his boots. They were still so new, they creaked.
The rodeo was rocking, the buzz in the air tonight pure electricity. They were in Texas, which he knew meant real, hardcore fans were about. He headed into the arena, sliding through the crowds quickly, easily, eager to see a certain bulldogger.
“This is it, folks. The leaderboard is full of short times. This is a fast arena. Put your hands together for Grizz Herman!”
He stopped and applauded, cheering for his lover. The horses seemed to be breathing fire. How entertaining. The hazer’s horse danced, but Grizz’s just vibrated, ears forward. Oh, how pretty.
He knew better than to head down. Horses were notoriously skittish around his kind and the last thing anyone needed was a stampede. So, he watched from the stands, sliding into a seat a few rows from the rail.
The steer was demon enhanced, fury shining through the bright red eyes. The horns were unnaturally large, but maybe that made him easier to catch. He wasn’t sure he wanted to understand that process that made these animals, but it was what it was.
The little gate flew up, the steer bursting out of the little funnel chute. Grizz nudged his mount into action, and everything went really damn fast after that.
Three seconds later Grizz was roaring, the steer thrown and on the ground.
Damn. He blinked, because even his vamp eyesight had almost missed that. Grizz was good at his job. He burst into applause, and he thought maybe Grizz caught his eyes, but maybe not.
He stood, moving down toward the rail now that horses weren’t so involved.
Grizz was fine and he swore he could smell the life throbbing in the big body.
Gorgeous bear, he sent.
Working.
I know. You did great. Made me ache a little.
Grizz’s head swung around and the huge man bared his teeth. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!
He stumbled backward, a sudden pain flooding him, a sharp fire stinging his cheek. He ran right into a cowboy, beer spilling down his back. “Sorry. Sorry.”
“Watch it, you little fuck.” The blow to his shoulder was sharp and sudden and unnervingly familiar now.
“Right. Watching it.”
“Jesus, what happened to your face, kid?”
“Accident.” A terrible, stupid accident.
Peyton made a beeline for the exit, desperate to get the hell out of Dodge. He’d fucked up again. He wasn’t sure how. He’d been trying to be good. Honestly. The kitties. He’d go to the kitties until he could...No. No, he needed to get his things from Grizz’s trailer first, right? Fuck. Stop and think.
He couldn’t, though. He was bleeding.
“Hey, honey.” He knew that voice, and Cody caught his shoulders in both hands. “Shit, what happened?”
“I have to go. This was a mistake. I have to go.” Somehow he was always going to be that one--the one that had to run because he’d screwed the pooch.
“Hey! No. No, you just wait. Come on back to my place and let me get the blood off you.”
There was no arguing with Cody. There never had been. Ever. Peyton followed, stumbling over the stiff boots. What was he thinking, playing dress up as if he was a real Texan?
He didn’t belong out here.
You don’t belong anywhere. The little voice in his head was so sure, so strong.
They made it to Cody’s trailer, and his old friend tilted his head back under the light in the entry. “What the fuck, honey?”
“I don’t know. I... The bear wants me out.”
Cody frowned, then sighed at him. “Oh, kiddo...what have you done?”
“I fucked up, Mister. I’m sorry.” He was the Grand High Poohbah of Sorry. Peyton felt stupid and miserable and so out of place. Again.
“Hey.” Cody drew him into an embrace. “It’s okay. It is. I bet he’s freaked out, but he’s got no right to hurt you. I will kick his stinky bear ass.”
“I’ll go, huh? Spend a day with the kitties and then head west. San Francisco is a great place to hide out.”
“You will not. I told you that you would be safe here and damn it, you will be.” Cody moved to the kitchenette to grab a towel and wet it.
He reached up, finding four claw marks slashing his cheek, the skin slashed down to the meat. “At least he didn’t get my eye.”
“You heal fast.” Cody washed off the blood. “Still going to kick his ass.” Cody frowned down at him. “Looks like it’ll leave a mark. That only happens with mating… Oh, kiddo. You didn’t.”
“I didn’t mean to.” It had just happened. He didn’t even know werebears and vampires could mate. Grizz was just… well, he’d been so perfect.
“I know that. I should have thought about it so much more carefully. Grizz is… lonely.” Cody kissed his other cheek. “Come sit with me.”
“I shouldn’t have called. I thought it would be easy, you know? Just a few weeks of respite.”
“I’m sorry it’s not what you need.” Cody sighed, the sound gusty and a bit hilarious for a vamp.
“I’m sorry I draw trouble no matter where I go.” He took Cody’s hand and squeezed it. “Some things haven’t changed in centuries.”
“You can travel with me, though. Seriously, honey.”
“I really like him. Is that wrong?” His cheek burned like fire. He hadn’t meant to make Grizz upset or angry. He’d been in the blush of new love.
“No.” Cody smiled, showing a little fang. “And if you’re under his skin this bad? He likes you, too.”
He didn’t know that he was strong enough to handle a bear’s version of like.
Cody hugged him again, a totally unnatural show of affection from his evil, oldest friend. “We’ll just wait and see. No running off. Promise me.”
“No running off. You don’t mind if I hang out in here? I’ll be good. I’ll read.” He had to go get his shit, after all. His Kindle was packed.
“I don’t mind a bit.” Cody winked at him. Winked.
He let himself lean close, rest for a second.
Mainly he didn’t want to take a chance on coming face to mangled face with the bear again today.
Chapter Eight
After he collected his check for winning the round, Grizz headed to his trailer. He needed to apologize. He was… well, he felt guilty as hell, and scared that he’d fucked up his one job in all of this, which was keeping Peyton safe.
That voice in his head had just freaked him right out. He’d been so focused and he hadn’t expected to hear Peyton so close. He was going to have to tell Peyton to just stay out of his head when he was on the arena floor.
Grizz hunted his vamp all over, nose working. The trail led not to his trailer, but to Cody’s. Oh. Oops.
The boss came out the door, face still and quiet. Cody was almost blank, but those eyes snapped at him.
Yeah, he’d fucked up.
“He’s going to spend the day with me, Grizz. He’s already sleeping.”
But it wasn’t even close to sunrise. He hung his head. “What happened? I just told him to get out of my head. He startled me.”
“I’m sure it was an accident.”
“It was. I’m sorry, boss. I know I’m supposed to be protecting him. He gets in my brain and talks!”
“I’m sorry too, Grizz. I’ve spoken to him about that and he’s very ashamed for intruding. He didn’t understand how invasive it was.” Cody kept his voice very even. Quiet.
Now why did that make him feel worse, not better? “I-- can I come talk to him when he gets up?”
“I’m sure he’d like that. I’ll tell him you want to speak to him.”
“Thanks.” Cody was so damned formal. Grizz was really in the deep shit.
Cody shot him a rueful grin. “Trust me, friend. I did not intend to disrupt your life quite so much. I forgot how trouble follows him like a shadow.”
Grizz brightened a little. “I’ll come back at dusk tomorrow.” He held out a hand to shake. “I like him.” He more than liked Peyton. He was in deep, which was scary.
Cody took his hand and shook. “He’s one of the good guys.”
“He is. I’m sorry.” He was miserable. Maybe he would go find Ozzie and Ben. Another bear’s company might help him make sense of things. If nothing else, he knew he was welcome there for a snuggle.
Cody waved him off, so Grizz left, his heart heavy in his chest. God, what a mess. He sucked so bad at human things.
Not that Peyton was a human, right? Right. Maybe he sucked at vampire things. He sure liked vampire sucking, and sucking vamp things, so it was a theme, right?
He went to Ben’s fancy-assed trailer and knocked at the door. Come on, man. Let me in.
“Grizz?” Ben met him at the door, nose twitching. “What’s wrong?”
“I sort of screwed up. A lot. Can I come in?”
“Always.” Little Ben opened the door without a second’s hesitation.
“Thanks.” A swell of gratitude made him grab Ben in a bear hug, the contact easing him some right away.
Ben snuggled right in, vocalizing softly, comforting him deep down.
“Everything okay?” Ozzie asked from behind Ben.
“I think I hurt him,” he confessed.
“Who? Your vamp?” Ozzie drew them back toward the big bed. Ozzie’s response to most things was cuddling.
“Yeah. He...He talked to me while I was working. Like in my head talking.”
“Oh, man, I bet that wigged you out,” Ben murmured. “You get so ramped up.”
“Exactly. I might have lashed out.”
“Oh. Poor Peyton. Poor Grizz, too.” Ben petted him gently, comforting him.
He wasn’t sure why he needed comforting so bad, but he did, so he took it. He let them pull him down, let them engulf him in care.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him, y’all.”
“Of course you didn’t. He ought to know better. We’re bears.”
“I don’t think he’s ever known a bear,” Grizz offered. “I let him bite me.”
“Yeah?” Oz grinned. “Was it hot?”
“Totally.” He swallowed hard, remembering making him squirmy.
“That’s always a little hard at first, huh? The intensity?”
“I don’t know what to do. I’m a bear. I mean, what will he do when I hibernate if we hook up?”
“I guess find someone here to bite.” Oz shrugged. “The kitties are always willing.”
“But see, I wouldn’t want that!” They didn’t understand. He wanted Peyton’s bites. Only for him. He didn’t want Brax rubbing all over his–lover.
“Oh. Uh. Well, we don’t hibernate like real bears. You could still feed him. Cody says if a vamp is old he can go weeks without feeding.” Ben soothed him with sweet touches, hushing him.
He found himself relaxing with them. This was what he’d needed. Grizz needed to relax too. He didn’t think well under pressure. He knew he wasn’t dumb, but he was single minded. He needed to breathe and let what came come.
This was his family. They understood him.
Grizz closed his eyes, sighing. He would sleep on what he would say to Peyton to apologize.
He’d start with a kiss.
Kisses were always a good way to start an I’m sorry.
Chapter Nine
Peyton stayed curled on Cody’s couch for days, buried under a heavy blanket and ignoring the sounds of the world around him. His face healed up, but he felt old. Worn out. Tired of being wrong.
“You can’t stay asleep the rest of your life, little one.” Cody petted him, long slow strokes that dragged along his back.
“I can too.” He sighed, stretching a bit.
“The bear wants to see you.”
“It’s not a good idea, is it?” He wanted to see Grizz as well, but the memory of his cheek told him what would happen if he fucked up again.
“If you want to see him, see him. He’s very contrite.” He loved how weird the twenty-five cent words sounded in Cody’s drawl.
He touched his face, the lines where Grizz marked him still evident.
“I know.” Cody shrugged. “You can have him come here. I can hide in the bathroom and kill him if he hurts you.”
“No. I’ll go out. I’m not helpless.” Just hopeless. Idiotic, perhaps. An eternal optimist, which always got him in trouble.
“Stop it.” Cody popped his leg with a forefinger and thumb.
“Be good, Mister.” He hugged Cody with a sigh. “You’re sure I can’t sleep for a decade or two?”
“Yep. You need to get out there and be you. I miss you.” Cody’s eyes gleamed with good humor.
“Liar.” He kissed Cody in thanks, though, because he did love the fine son of a bitch.
“Go talk to your bear, man. Please.” Cody pulled him to his feet. “Get closure, if nothing else.”
“Aye, aye, Captain Butthead!” He saluted, then fetched his clothes, dragging on his pants.
“That’s me. Head of all asshats.”
Cody did make him laugh.
Sweats and a t-shirt on, Peyton slipped into flip-flops. No sense trying to tempt the bear with his cowboyness. He grabbed a gimme cap, though. He didn’t want Grizz seeing the scars.
The lights were on at Grizz’s trailer, so he knocked, shifting from foot to foot as he waited.
Grizz opened the door, peering down at him, and a huge smile split Grizz’s fuzzy face. He needed to shave; he was super fuzzy. Fuzzy-Wuzzy. “Hey! Come on in,” Grizz said.
“Hey, Grizz. How goes it?” Peyton was careful not to dare a single thought that might get through. He didn’t want to intrude ever again.
“I--” The smile faded some, Grizz’s shoulders slumping. “I’m okay. You want to come in? I wish you would.”
“Sure. Sure, I wanted to apologize for the other day.” Peyton came in, not sure if he should sit in one of the little chairs or just stand. He decided to stand, moving from foot to foot. Grizz’s trailer was damn cold.
“No.” Grizz grimaced. “I was a jerk.”
What was he supposed to say to that? It was true, but Peyton had brought it on himself. “I’ll be careful not to do it again.”
Grizz sighed, the sound gusty. “Can you please come sit with me?”
“Sure. Of course.” No looking. No thinking. No biting. Sit and be nice.
They didn’t move to the wee couch or the dining area. Grizz led him to the bed in the back, patting the mattress for him to sit.
“Look, I’m a bear. I get all growly. I’m so sorry if I scared you.
I was working and you startled me.” Grizz stood, looming over him, but he could tell his—no not his bear. Grizz. Was not trying to intimidate.
“I didn’t mean to.” He’d just been admiring and praising his beautiful new lover. He’d thought.
“I know. I wanted to apologize, but you were hiding.”
“I was sleeping,” Peyton countered.
“Oh. Right. But I tried to come talk to you. Cody kept sending me away.” Grizz frowned. “Are you hiding under your hat?”
“Why would I do that?” God yes. He didn’t want Grizz to get upset.
“I don’t know.” The frown deepened and Grizz bent to peer under the brim of his cap.
Peyton ducked his head and bumped Grizz with the brim. “Dammit.”
“What? What’s wrong?” Grizz was super gentle, but he insisted on seeing Peyton’s face. Those dark eyes went wide when he saw the claw marks. “Peyton?”
“They’re all healed, honey. Don’t worry.”
“I did that?” Grizz reached up, fingers hovering over his scar, a stricken expression on his face.
“I know you didn’t mean it. I wasn’t being careful.” And I didn’t know I could mate with a bear.
“But I hurt you!” Grizz looked utterly horrified, and Peyton could feel his panic between them like a live wire.
“It won’t happen again.” He had been careless, totally open to Grizz. He had barriers in place now. Cody had helped him build the wall so Grizz never had to hear his voice inside again. “Shh. Relax. It’s okay. It’s all healed.”
And he would wear Grizz’s marks for eternity. Peyton supposed that was fitting.
“But I-- Peyton. Don’t be scared of me. I promise, I’m not mean. Stupid and clumsy, but never mean.”
“I’m not frightened. I’m sorry I…” What? What exactly was he sorry for? Talking to Grizz? Mating with a bear? He hadn’t tried to do anything. He closed his mouth with a snap.
“But you shouldn’t be.” Grizz tugged him right over into an embrace, which he wanted to fight, but it was so genuine, and Grizz was radiating sadness. “I really fucked up.”
“You didn’t know.” The heat and pressure was a perfect comfort and he melted in, breathing his bear in.
