by D. Fischer
A bomb is accurate. He dropped that bomb and my emotions exploded into the air and scattered around in a heap of a mess. If I am being honest here, finding out I am a wolf isn’t really a concern to me—it actually explains a lot. What’s causing me the internal turmoil is that fact I now have a mate and everything that comes with it.
I remain silent until something pops into my head. “What does it mean to be a Queen wolf?”
“Aw. Well, Queen wolves are gifted and very dominant. They have one extra sense that the other wolves do not. They’re rare. So rare, that I’ve never met one before. Their strength and speed is unmatched to others, with only one exception—their mate. It is said that once they find their mate and let the mating process begin, their mate will get to share the Queen’s gift.”
“And you think I’m a Queen.” It isn’t a question, but rather a statement. He feels the need to answer anyway.
“I don’t think you are one. I know you are.”
I sit and continue to overlook the water, digesting what he revealed. A leaf drops into the water and I watch as the ripples travel to the rocks.
I’ve never thought that feeling others’ emotions was a gift. As a child, I felt it was a curse. Knowing how unwanted I was, it was always a blow to the heart. It’s made me shy away from accepting anyone in my life. I’m unable to connect because I can feel when I’m not wanted—by my foster families, friends, or lovers. When they don’t know how to handle me, it upsets them. My foster families would call the agency and have me rehomed. Eventually, I grew thicker skin and moved on from the foster system, using my curse to make a living.
It still would be nice not to be plagued with my … gift. Sometimes, I want to be lied to. To be ignorant of the truth. They say ignorance is bliss. I wouldn’t know anything about that.
“Do you have a mate?” I ask him.
The corner of his lips turn up. “Not yet.”
We both remain silent, content on watching the birds before Ben speaks, “It must have been hard, not knowing what you are. To spend years thinking you’re human, suppressing the other half. Most of us can’t even suppress our wolf when they want to take over. You’ve spent your entire life fighting her and you didn’t even know it. The strength you’ve shown is astonishing, but I can’t imagine your life has been easy.”
I scoff. “Strength? I don’t exactly see it that way.”
“I know. But Evo does. He’s spent his entire life knowing what he was. Last night he learned that not only has he found his mate—the person he’s spent his whole life waiting for—but he’s found his other half. His other soul, if you will. It may not feel that way for you, but it feels that way for him. He’s waited his whole life, just for you. The whole Pack has been waiting for him to find his mate and we’re happy you’re here. We understand that it may take a little bit to adjust, but just know that you’re wanted here by more than just Evo.” With that, he gets up and brushes his pants off. “I hope you plan to stay. We could use someone like you in our Pack. From what I hear, you’re quite the spitfire. You would liven things up around here.”
Ben walks away, heading back toward the house. A brief but purposeful conversation.
When he puts it like that, I can sure see why Evo felt rejected by my fleeing. If the roles were reversed, if I wasn’t so determined to refuse to get close to anyone, I’d feel exactly the same way. It doesn’t make me feel different about wanting to be loved, though.
From Ben, I could feel that he was truthfully glad that I was here. I could feel that he wanted me to stay and even believed I would. That just isn’t something I am sure of. I know nothing about this life.
Even if I decide to give this a shot, what will I do about my job and clients? Will this change my life so drastically? Will I still be able to lead a somewhat normal life? Or will I just not be … me … anymore.
How much will Pack life change me? How much will being mated change me? There’s always a chance I could get let down or not be accepted. Do I want to put myself in that kind of situation again? I don’t know if I am ready for that. I didn’t know if I am ready to accept this Pack—this lifestyle—as my own.
I’ve always envisioned my life and future as being alone. Determined to never again be emotionally vulnerable as I was as a kid, was something I wanted to make sure never happened again. If I accept them and a place here, there is a chance of that happening.
When something changes in your life that’s so drastic, it’s hard to accept a new future than the one you had already mapped out.
I also never saw myself ever having a future with another person in it. Never wanting to saddle myself with someone who wouldn’t understand me and the internal war I fight on a daily basis, I never want to put anyone through that. I don’t want to put myself through that. But Evo will understand me—I am what he is. Learning that there are more people like me and I have a place in that world with someone to share it with is tempting.
As soon as I know Ben is long gone, I make my way back. Now standing at the back of the mansion, I stare at several doors I hadn’t noticed before.
Why would the back of a mansion need so many exits? And which one do I choose to get back inside?
“A little odd looking the first time you see it, isn’t it?” a voice says. The woman comes to stand next to me, shading her eyes against the bright mid-morning sun and glancing at the back of the mansion. She has short blond hair. If I didn’t know any better, she could easily be Evo’s sister. They have the same facial features.
Turning toward me, she smiles and sticks out her hand. “I’m Brenna, but everyone calls me Bre. Well, except for my brother. I’m Evo’s sister.”
Batta-bing batta-boom.
“Kenna.” I shake her hand.
“I know.” When I look taken aback, she supplies me with answers. “We had a Pack meeting last night. Evo told us about you.”
“I see.”
“I hope you don’t take that the wrong way. We don’t keep many secrets here in the Pack. Gossip tends to spread like wildfire, but it’s prudent that we are all aware of circumstances or people that could involve us as a Pack, anyway.”
I nod my understanding. If a Pack resembles a family of sorts, it makes sense to keep the members informed.
“So, how many of you are there?”
“Including myself, there are eight of us. There used to be a lot more but they left to join another Pack when Evo became Alpha.”
“They didn’t want Evo to be their Alpha?” I question. He seems like a good guy to me—caring and warm. So, naturally, I don’t understand.
“Oh no. Everyone loved and thanked Evo for challenging and killing our father, the old Alpha. But when the challenge was over and we were all free, many wanted to leave to get away from the memories. It’s quite common for wolves to find a new sanctuary when they’re finally free of a controlling and abusive Alpha. They respected Evo and his new position, but they wanted to start a new life. Evo never judged them for it.”
I look at her with my face scrunched in confusion. Turning her head, she takes in my expression. “Oh.” Realization hits her. “My brother didn’t tell you any of that, did he?” I shake my head. “Well, let’s hope he doesn’t hold that against me.” She chuckles.
Evo killed his father. I wonder what kind of man his father was that Evo felt the need to challenge and kill him. That must have felt terrible, killing his own father. Unless his dad deserved it, but I have no idea what he would have done to deserve to die.
If some of the Pack wanted to flee so bad just to escape bad memories, he must have been an evil bastard. I couldn’t imagine why people would want to uproot their entire life just to escape a past.
Okay, so maybe I can. I would. Hell, I ran from the foster system, every potential relationship, and then from Evo when we told me we were mates. Just the thought gives me nervous butterflies about entering the house.
As scared as I feel, I am going to have to
talk to him soon. We need to clear the air and I really want to ask him about the things I am learning about him. Though Bre and Evo are siblings, I still feel his father’s death is his story to tell.
The thought of getting to know Evo is intriguing. If he is the Alpha of this Pack, he has to be a strong guy, mentally as well as physically. Just the way Bre talks about him, there is so much love in her voice, eyes, and emotion. Ben is the same way. They respect him. He had to have done something to gain that respect. I find myself wanting to know more about this guy that has earned so much respect.
I break the silence. “So, why are all these doors on the back of the mansion?”
“It’s not really a mansion. It just looks that way from the outside for the humans’ sake. The only entrance on the front is to the Alpha’s quarters. That way, if any humans come knocking, they will just assume it’s Evo’s house and not a house for several people. Discretion and all that.” Extending out her arm, she points. “Each one of those doors is an entrance to a living quarter. Each wolf, or mated pair, gets their own quarter.”
“I see. Well, actually, no, I don’t. Why doesn’t everyone just live in their own house? Why is everyone living on the same property?”
She gives me a small smile. “I know it must seem odd to you. Frankly, I don’t know how you did it, living all on your own. Most wolves go Rogue without the comfort of a Pack nearby. Wolf packs, real wolf packs, live in a den, or something similar, together. Humans live in houses. Doing it this way appeases both sides of our needs. To have space, but also comfort and protection. Our wolves crave touch and comfort, while our human side craves independence.”
I nod. “Makes sense.”
I could definitely live with that. Space is something I have grown very accustomed to. But I also understand the idea of having that comfort and protection available if I need it.
“Chris Kenner.” When I look at her surprisingly for knowing that name, she reminds me with a knowing expression. “Pack meeting,” she explains. “He’s probably insane. Like I said, most wolves who go Rogue eventually go insane. They become more animal than human and when that happens, their brain warps in odd ways. It’s likely that whatever he is doing with the women he’s abducting feels right in his mind. He might understand right from wrong, but it’s most likely that his animal has taken over and sometimes nature isn’t so cut and dry.”
I rub my arms. I understand what she means by that. I mean, female black widows kill the males. That is a primal instinct and I’m betting that Kenner’s, whatever is happening to him, is too. I feel a tad bit of sympathy for him, but it quickly vanishes.
I was alone for years and I didn’t lose my humanity. My guess is since I grew up without comfort of any kind, I grew accustomed to it. I learned to cope from the day I was abandoned. I also fought my wolf from day one, thinking she was a symptom of some medical disorder. Even now, I can feel her understanding as I think about how much I fought my nature and her right to be acknowledged. She knows I meant no harm because I didn’t know she existed. She is satisfied that I now fully accept her.
I don’t know Kenner’s history or why he’s not in a Pack, but I have a feeling he’s far past help.
“What do you think he’s doing with them?”
Her lips form a hard line. “If I’m right and his animal has taken over, it’s likely those people are dead. Either his wolf killed them for sport or he ate them on instinct.”
My own rage and disgust mirror that of Bre’s. Cassie is likely dead. How am I going to tell Johanna? I will need to bring her concrete evidence before I can drop that bomb. She won’t accept it, otherwise. That means I will have to find Kenner, possibly catch him in the act, or at least find where he’s taking them.
This guy could be eating people. I find it likely that he sent a vampire to kill me after all. He would want to cover his tracks before anyone had the chance to dig them up.
“We need to find that bastard. Jail won’t be enough. I’m gonna kill him.”
Shocked by my venomous voice, Bre’s eyes widen at me and then she averts her gaze, looking at her feet. I feel her submission like it is an emotion. I can feel my wolf accepting and respecting it. I can also feel her pride in my statement.
“You okay, Bre?”
She looks up at me. “Do me a favor?” I look at her expectantly. “Make it hurt.” I smile. Bre and I are going to get along just fine.
Chapter Seven
Evo Johnson
In my office, looking over the Pack budget, I feel some relief to my aching chest from Kenna’s rejection when I see that we are finally above the red line in our Pack savings. My father, the bastard, had drained it dry and then some. He was a greedy bastard, among other things.
Each member of the Pack, besides the Alpha and Beta, whose responsibilities are solely about the Pack, are required to have a job if they are able. A small percentage of their salaries normally go to the Pack savings, but since we are in such debt after I killed my father, each member has been chipping in extra. I never asked them to, but they are all determined to help the Pack out after my father destroyed it.
It gives me comfort to know that I’m not taking all their hard-earned money and depositing it in the Pack bank account, like some other Alpha’s require. I want to be sure that they have their own money, just like myself, to do what they wish with it.
The Pack bank account is there to take care of the roof over our heads, the land that surrounds us, and the necessities. It is important to me that they have the ability to buy their own clothes or simply go on a date with their mate or intended.
Things haven’t exactly been lively around here. Everyone is still mentally healing, so it isn’t as though everyone is going out every night on dates or something of the like. There’s only one mated pair in the Pack. And then there is me, who found my mate but was rejected by her.
That stings more than I thought possible. I knew she would fight our mating. She’s completely dependent on herself and seems to have been for a very long time.
She has no family, she seems to have no real friends, and her job is her life. Not to mention she thought she was only human before today. I knew she would struggle trying to fit into a world that she didn’t know existed, but it never occurred to me that she might reject me.
I just hope like hell that she won’t reject the Pack as her own. She needs the Pack, not just for the comfort it brings, but for her safety. I hope she will come to terms with it but that is a choice she will have to make.
A knock sounds on my office door. I already heard someone approaching and I could tell who it was by scent and the noise from her heels. It was a conversation I knew would be had, eventually.
“Yeah?” I answer.
Jazz walks in, smiles at me seductively, and makes her way to sit on the edge of my unorganized oak desk.
“What can I do for you, Jazz?”
I know why she is here. If she is looking for someone to confide in, that is Ben’s job. She is here for either attention or sex. It’s what she always wants. I also know that she wants more than that, which I’ve told her before I will never be able to give her.
“I wanted to see if you were okay. I heard you brought back that girl you were talking about last night and then I saw her running from the house and into the woods.” She puts her hand on my shoulder and continues with fake sympathy, “Did you two have a fight?”
I keep my posture confident and unapproachable. It is never wise to move away from a wolf if you are an Alpha, especially a submissive wolf like Jazz. It is their job to move out of your space if they aren’t wanted. I need to make it clear to Jazz that our relationship, sexual in its nature, is at an end.
“Makenna is my mate and she’s struggling with it. She’ll come around.”
Confusion sweeps over her face. “But that’s not—”
“Possible?” I cut her off. “She’s not human. She’s a wolf shifter and only discovered everything
this morning when she and I discussed it. She fled because she’s confused and overwhelmed.”
Jazz thinks about it for a second and then produces a seductive expression. “Surely I can keep you company until she comes around.”
The look on Jazz’s face makes it seem like she wishes Kenna will never come around, but I don’t think she would pose a threat to my mate. Most shifters step aside if a wolf they are fooling around with finds their mate.
Thinking of ways to let her down gently, she takes my silence as an opportunity to sit on my lap. Again, I don’t move, fully intending to make her get out of my personal space. I need to make it perfectly clear that we are over.
“Jazz, you need to get off.”
She ignores me and rubs her cheek against mine. It is a sign of affection reserved for wolves who are more than just friends.
“She rejected you or she’d be here. Let me help make that pain go away.”
“Jazz—” A gasp at the door cuts me off. We both look up in time to see a very furious Kenna.
“Shit,” I say before Kenna turns and marches down the hall. I stand up and Jazz lands with a thud on the floor. I start to make my way after Kenna, intending to explain.
“Wait, Evo!” Jazz screeches.
I whirl around, putting the Alpha Command into my voice. I normally don’t do that to my wolves, but Jazz needs to understand, and I am out of patience. She hurt my mate. My wolf is growling and pacing inside me, completely furious that I let this female touch me in front of our mate.
“No! Let’s get one thing straight, Jazz. There will be no you and me anymore. Kenna is my mate and I have every intention of mating her. Get out of my office and go back to your own quarters. Do not come back here looking to seek my comfort again.”
Eyes wide from my command, she lowers her head in submission. Satisfied that the message was received, I turn to hunt down my mate.
