Travis’s heart skipped a beat then thudded violently against his chest. “Stay?”
She grabbed his arm. “Please. Just tonight.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “I…I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t want to be alone.”
Using his free arm, he pulled her against him and pressed her face to his chest. “I’m so sorry. I know how you feel.”
Hazy recollections of the days after Susan’s death flashed in his mind. What he remembered most vividly was the black hollowness inside his chest, as though someone had cut out his heart. The pain of his loss had been so great his brain had shut off his ability to feel anything. He’d been numb. He’d needed human touch, but he hadn’t realized that until years later. He’d instead reached for a bottle.
Hot tears soaked his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her words vibrating into his chest. “I know that’s a lot to ask and I’ve already asked for so much.”
Placing two fingers under her chin, he lifted her face until their gazes met. “I’ll stay,” he said, then kissed her.
He’d meant for the kiss to be comforting. Unfortunately, he was less than comfortable afterward. He wanted more. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, take the pain away. But then what? They weren’t really married and he needed to remember that. Getting involved with a woman who didn’t want to be married to him and didn’t want to live in Texas long-term—or live anywhere long-term as far as he could tell—was a dead-end road. He didn’t need the heartache.
But he couldn’t stop himself for going back for a second kiss. “I’m happy to stay. Really.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“Do you want to talk about your grandmother?”
She shook her head. “It’s almost midnight. You have to be exhausted. Can we just go to bed?”
His cock twitched at the phrase go to bed. Suddenly he wasn’t as tired as he’d been two minutes ago. And that dead-end road looked a lot more like an interstate.
Caroline took his hand and led him down the hall. She rubbed her thumb along the calluses on his palm. Her mind was flooded with memories of the hugs and comforting rubs he’d given her over the past couple of days. At the funeral, she’d pressed her head to his hand resting on her shoulder as he’d nonverbally given her the emotional support she’d needed. He’d physically held her upright at the side of Mamie’s casket when her legs had simply given away.
She’d been serious when she told him she needed him to stay. But she needed more. She needed to be touched, held, to feel alive. How does one ask for that? And even if she could find the words, what if he said not interested? She couldn’t take the chance of rejection.
“The bathroom’s that way,” she said, pointing to an open door on the left. “If you don’t mind, I need a quick shower.”
“You do what you need to,” he said. “I’m going to grab my bag out of the truck.”
“Sure.” She meant to let go of his arm, but her fingers refused to uncurl. They just kept clinging to him like ivy.
“Caroline. You’re going to have to let go, unless your shower is big enough for the both of us.” He chuckled. “I’m not leaving. I’ll stay until you don’t need me anymore.”
He put his hand over hers holding his arm. Trapped between the heat of his rough palm and his thick muscular arm, she was sure her hand would melt. She knew her heart did. Reflexively, she leaned against his side.
“Darlin’? Are you okay?” Travis looked at her with such concern in his eyes.
“Make love to me,” she said. “Make me feel alive…feel something.”
He squeezed her hand. “If I thought that was what you really wanted, I’d have you on your back in one minute.”
She released his arm and stepped away. “It’s what I want. It’s what I need tonight, Travis. I need to be touched. Loved. Please.”
He stroked his hand down her hair and sighed. “Trust me. I understand what’s going on inside right now.” He smiled, then grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward the master bathroom. “Go take your shower. I’ll be here when you get out.” He gave her a little shove. “Go. Shower.”
She took a step then stopped and turned back to him. She walked back, cradled his face between the palms of her hands and kissed him. When their mouths met, a spark flashed, lighting a small fire in the darkness inside her soul. She angled her head to deepen the kiss. One swipe of her tongue on his bottom lip and he jerked her hard against him. He raked his fingers into her hair, pulling the strands taut as he positioned her to his liking. He slid his tongue between her lips and touched hers. He moved in and out of her mouth, mimicking the love making she’d asked for.
A moan vibrated her chest. Her moan? His? She wasn’t sure. Her heart pounded so violently against her ribs she was sure he could feel it. She pressed her hips to the thick bulge in his jeans. He was as affected as much as she was.
As suddenly as it started, the kiss ended. Travis stepped back and pulled his hands from her hair.
“Don’t start something we ain’t gonna finish tonight,” he said in a strained voice. “When I take you to bed, it’ll be because you desire me, not because you want a warm body beside you.”
“I know what I want. I want you…in my bed making love to me.”
He slowly shook his head. A flash of something colored his expression. Indecision? Rejection? She wasn’t sure, but it was there only for a second and then it was gone.
“No. Your emotions are a wreck. I don’t want you to hate me in the morning for taking advantage of you. So, no, that won’t be happening tonight.” He reached out to touch her face, but she jerked her head out of his reach.
“Damn you.” She whipped toward the bathroom before he could see her embarrassment. “Leave. Just go. I don’t need you. I don’t need anybody.” She slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Hot tears ran tracks down her face. She hadn’t been with a man in a long time. Hell, she’d never asked a man to sleep with her, and the first time she does, he says no.
The shower steam fogged the mirror, finally blotting out the mortification on her face. She stepped in and let the steaming water flow over her. Hopefully, the shower jets would pound some sense into her head.
She was attracted to him and wanted sex. He wanted her ranch. If she pushed the issue, he’d probably have sex with her just to keep her happy so she didn’t renege on their deal, legal paperwork notwithstanding.
But it didn’t matter one way or the other. He’d be gone when she got out.
When the water finally turned cold, Caroline turned it off and reached for her towel. But even as she dried off, the embarrassment of begging Travis for sex inched back into her mind. This was worse than when Tommy Kline laughed when she’d invited him to the Sadie Hawkins Dance in eighth grade.
She sighed as she draped her damp towel over the towel rod and looked for her pajamas. The urge to beat her head against the wall was great. In her haste to get away from Travis, she’d walked into the bathroom with nothing but the clothes she wore. Her panties and pjs were still folded and tucked into her dresser drawers.
Damn it.
The light was off in the bedroom when she cracked open the door, as were all the other lights in her house. Just as she’d expected. He’d left, like everybody else in her life had.
She made her way across her bedroom and jerked open the top left drawer. “He’s probably laughing at me right now,” she muttered as she pulled on fresh underwear. She slammed the drawer shut and opened the next one down for a T-shirt. “I don’t need him. I don’t need anybody.”
A bedside light clicked on. She screamed and pressed the extra-large T-shirt to her chest.
“Did you know you talk to yourself?”
She whirled toward her bed. Travis sat propped against the headboard. The bedside lamp threw an enticing play of shadow and light across taut flesh stretched tight over wide muscular shoulders, thick biceps and an impossible-to-believe six-pack. He looked like a fashion model posing for…well, to b
e honest, he could sell anything looking like that.
“Damn it, Travis. I’m naked.”
He grinned, looking very much like a kid who’d gotten caught shaking presents under the Christmas tree. “Lucky for me my eyes had adjusted to the darkness.”
She turned her back to him and pulled the nightshirt over her head before facing him again. “I thought you’d left.”
“And I told you I wasn’t leaving until you didn’t need me.” He pointed to both sides of the bed. “Wasn’t sure if you slept on the right or the left, so I settled in the middle to wait.”
“Travis…” A mental philosophical war raged inside Caroline. As much as she’d like to deny it, she did want him to stay. However, she needed him to want to stay, not just be doing a favor for her. But how could she tell the difference? Truth be told, part of her would be crushed if he jumped out of bed right now and said, “Okay, then. See ya,” and headed for the door. Her breath held as she waited for his next move.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. The lower half of his totally luscious body was hidden by a pair of tie pajama bottoms, not so dissimilar to what she wore in the operating room.
Her mental war continued as part of her—one very minuscule molecule—was relieved he wasn’t clad just in his briefs. Most of her was disappointed. If Travis dressed solely in tie-pants was hot, heaven help her if he’d been standing there in his underwear, or better yet, wearing nothing at all.
Her heart, which had been slamming against her ribcage from being startled, now began hammering away due to the vision in front of her. Did he have any idea the effect he had on women? Was he totally clueless about how he looked? Did the poor man not own a mirror?
“Caroline. Come to bed. Nothing is going to happen but a good night’s sleep, which we both need.” He patted the mattress. “Left or right?”
Her sigh of surrender sounded more like a sigh of lust. She hoped he hadn’t noticed. “Right.”
“Good. I’m a left sleeper.” He slipped back under the sheet. “Are you coming?”
I wish, she thought as she made her way around the bed and got in beside him.
“Now, here’s what’s gonna happen,” Travis said as he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. “Nothing. Not a damn thing except sleep. If you need me, I’m here. Remember that.”
They slid lower under the covers and put their heads on separate pillows. Caroline’s head stayed on her pillow for a couple of minutes before Travis scooted closer. Then her head found comfort resting on his shoulder.
Travis struggled to draw in a deep breath without waking Caroline. He’d awakened at his usual five in the morning and found Caroline’s hot flesh pressed up to his. At some point during the night she’d tossed her leg over his crotch. He hesitated to disturb her out of fear she might accidently bash his stiff erection with her knee.
To add more discomfort to his situation, her nightshirt had worked its way up to her waist, exposing her satiny panties. Each time she moved in the least, the silky material polished the skin of his outer thigh. Now that he’d been awake for an hour, having his flesh buffed and shined by her hot silk-covered mons, any movement sent additional blood careening to his penis, which in turn made him more nervous that a sudden startle could maim him for life.
And his arm was dead from being under her head all night, but he wasn’t complaining. He’d enjoyed the experience of sleeping with someone again. Enjoyed the comfort of not being alone. It’d been years since he’d woken up in bed with a woman. Recent sexual encounters—which were all he’d been able to emotionally manage since Susan’s death—had been just attraction and sexual release. No emotional involvement. Definitely no sleepovers.
Caroline was different. Different than he’d believed her to be. Caring. Funny. And she needed him. It’d been a long time since anyone had really needed him.
Gently, he brushed her hair off her face. Dark lashes rested on her high cheekbones. Her nose was a perfect size for her diminutive face, but at this angle he could see it was a little pug on the end. For some reason that made him smile. Her lips were slightly apart as a gentle snort escaped. Even with the petite snore, he yearned to run the tip of his tongue along her top lip, let it slide into the dip and then climb out to finish the trace to the far corner where he could continue his exploration on her lower lip.
The leg across his groin shifted and he positioned his free hand to protect the family jewels if necessary. She skimmed her calf down his thigh and across his knee before abruptly stopping. Her eyes flew open at the same time she tried to hurriedly move away.
“Stop, Caroline. You’re okay.”
As soon as he spoke, she stilled.
“Oh my God, Travis,” she said, her hand pressed to her chest. “I forgot you were here.” Under the covers she was trying to pull her nightshirt back down to her knees.
He grinned. “I think I like the fact my new wife isn’t used to waking up with men in her bed.”
She shoved her hair out of her face as she scooted up and over in bed. “What time is it?”
“A little after six.” He yawned and scratched his morning beard.
“Thank you for staying. I slept better than I thought I would.”
“First, I was happy to stay. Second, stop thanking me. It’s getting old. But if you really want to show me some gratitude, you can either show me those satiny panties that rubbed on me all night or make me some coffee.”
The blush on her cheeks deepened. Tugging her nightshirt down and holding the tail secure under her butt, she awkwardly climbed out of bed. “One pot of coffee coming up.”
“Aw, shoot. I was afraid that would be your answer.”
A blue silky robe hung on the back of a door he assumed led to her closet. After pushing her arms down the sleeves, she spoke without looking at him. “You’re a good guy, Travis. About last night…”
“Caroline.”
She turned to face him.
“I meant what I said last night. You’re a beautiful, desirable woman. No man in his right mind wouldn’t want to make love to you. But I like you too much to have taken advantage of your emotional state last night. When we make love, it’ll be because of good old lust and need.” He grinned. “We okay this morning?”
A half-smile tweaked her lips. “We’re okay. Coffee won’t take long. I’ll get some breakfast going. Anything in particular you’d like?”
“Besides seeing your panties? Man food. No yogurt. No health food.”
“Forget the panties, bud. You didn’t want to see them last night so you’re not seeing them this morning. Bacon, eggs and biscuits are what you’re getting.” As she walked through the door she looked over her shoulder. “Hey, Travis.”
When he looked toward her, she flipped her robe and nightshirt, exposing her cute silk-covered butt. “Changed my mind.” Then she walked into the hall.
A wide grin split his face.
She was not what he expected.
By the time Travis finished his phone calls—first to a garage about Caroline’s car and then to the Webster household—he had firm plans for the day, if he could convince Caroline to go along. He showered and made his way to the kitchen, bypassing the formal dining room that he noted was not set for a fancy breakfast. In the kitchen, Caroline had set breakfast on the small glass table in the nook formed by a bow window.
“Okay to eat in here?” she asked.
He inhaled and his stomach let out a loud growl that could be heard four blocks over.
“With the way that smells, I’d eat standing at the stove.”
Laughing, she set the plate holding golden, buttery-looking biscuits on the table. She pointed to a cabinet. “Coffee mugs are there. Black, right? Can’t remember you adding anything when we’ve had coffee at your parents’ place.”
Dramatically widening his eyes and dropping open his mouth, he gasped. “Darlin’, I’m a Texas cowboy. We don’t need no stinkin’ milk and sugar,” he said as he
opened the cabinet door to retrieve a mug. He filled it to the rim and carried it over to the table.
She shook her head with a chuckle. “Silly me.”
“If you’re goin’ to be a cowboy’s gal, you gotta learn the rules.”
After settling into a chair, she said, “Black coffee. Got it. What else?”
“Meat and potatoes. No sissy food.”
She pretended to take notes on an imaginary notepad. “No sissy food. Right. Umm, exactly what would sissy food consist of?”
“You know, sissy stuff. Yogurt. Granola. Shrimp. Green stuff.”
The corners of her mouth twitched. “Shrimp is sissy?”
He shoved a biscuit and sausage into his mouth and chewed. After swallowing and taking a sip of coffee, he continued. “Well, shrimp might be okay if it’s grilled on a manly, outdoor grill. No shrimp stirred up with pasta.”
She rested her elbow on the table and propped her chin in the palm of her hand. “Wow. I had no idea there were so many rules. What else should every good cowboy’s gal know?”
“We don’t wear shorts. Don’t starch the work shirts. And, um…”He paused to make-up a few more rules. “Oh yeah, never ever set a cowboy’s hat on its brim. Always set it upside down on its top.” Except that rule wasn’t made up. He was dead serious.
“Are you serious? About the hat?”
“Yup.”
She gave him a thoughtful nod. “I didn’t know that.”
“Like I said, important stuff.” He snagged another biscuit off the plate. “By the way, I called a buddy who has a garage. He’s going to tow your car in today and have a look. Said it might be Monday before he can get to it.”
She nodded. “Thanks.” She sighed. “I hope I don’t have to buy another one.”
“You need a better car, Caroline. You can afford it, I’m sure.”
“That’s not the point. I’ve never been much of a car person, as long as what I have gets me where I need to go. Plus,” she made a face, “I hate dealing with car salesmen.”
“Fine. I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve heard from Buddy. Now, since you’re off today, I had an idea.”
Texas Tango: Texas Montgomery Mavericks, Book 2 Page 11
