by L A Cotton
The boys erupted into cheers.
“But how would you like to see how the pros do it?”
Heads turned to one another and a low rumble of whispers filled the bus. I risked a glance at Sharn, who was questioning me with her big browns.
“Does that mean that no one wants to check out the Tampa Bay Rays take on the Yankees?”
Silence. It was a moment that would stay with me for a long time. Seventeen fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds stunned into silence. Even resident talkers Kenny and Jared were speechless. But the face that I honed in on said it all. Keylon’s eyes were wide and full of sparkle. He loved the game, just like I did, and I imagined this could be life changing for him.
And then something magical happened. The bus erupted into a chorus of cheers. Even shy Otis was fist pumping the air and cheering along with his classmates. I took the driver’s seat and Sharn leaned over the railing separating my chair and hers. “I- I don’t know what to say…wow. Just wow. I can’t believe you’ve done this for them.”
I swiveled my head so she’d hear my words. “Not just them, Sharn.” I let the words linger between us before I fired up the bus and pulled out of the lot.
Over two-and-a-half hours, one rest stop, and one bucket of Niall’s puke later, Tropicana Stadium came into view. The boys leaned against the windows to get a better look, and I noticed even Sharn switched seats for a clearer view.
The GPS directed me to LOT 4, which was situated on the edge of the stadium. I’d been here twice before, but always as a coach and never as a driver. Every year we had a small budget to take one or two groups to a game, but it didn’t usually stretch to the MLB. This was an exception; after a few sessions in, I knew I wanted to do something special for the GHS kids... and Sharn. She was so passionate about them. They deserved this and seeing the way she looked at me, eyes full of awe—like she thought that I hung the fucking moon—it was worth it.
We filed out of the bus and I gathered everyone around. There was still an hour until the game started, but I wanted to give the boys the full experience; hot dogs, foam fingers, and the opportunity to participate in the wave. The streets were already thick with a sea of blue and white—homage to both teams, although the Yankees would be in their road uniform today of gray and navy. Unfortunately, for me, we were seated in the home team’s corner, but today wasn’t about me, it was about them.
“Okay, I know you’re all excited but stick close and don’t wander. This stadium holds over forty-thousand people. I don’t want to have to explain to Principal Delaney that I lost some of you in here.”
Sharn stepped up next to me and her arm brushed mine, and I felt electricity zip up my arm. Fuck. Close proximity to her was killing me. “Please don’t go doing anything stupid. But boys, enjoy it. You deserve it.”
We merged with the slow moving crowd headed for the turnstiles. Sharn walked among the boys while I hung at the back to make sure we didn't lose anyone in the thick. The atmosphere was electric, and all the hairs on my arm stood to attention. I soaked in my surroundings finally feeling able to relax rather than worry. Dad was going to be okay, and as I looked over at Sharn, I felt confident that I'd have her back by the end of tonight.
Chapter 23
~ Sharn ~
The noise was deafening, and guiding seventeen young boys through thousands of excited bodies wasn't easy. But Keefer knew his way around the stadium and had us seated in no time with hot dogs, Pepsis, and foam fingers.
My eyes scanned the huge crowd. Parents smiled at their children, couples dressed in head to toe white and navy sat close waving their foam fingers in the air, and old men snacked on corn dogs. Baseball really did make people happy. I'd never experienced anything like it. At UMich, my friends had spent four years convincing me to watch a game, but the odd football game was as far as I got.
Keefer gently nudged my side and I looked up at him, his sea-blue eyes trained on me. “So, what do you think?”
I smiled. “I can see why you love it.”
We were surrounded by the boys. Seventeen wide-eyed, animated teenagers. Nine of them sat in the row in front and four flanked us on either side. We were pretty high up, but we had a perfect view of the diamond and the giant screen showing messages to the crowd.
Our little section of the stadium started to whoop and cheer, and my eyes followed Keylon’s outstretched arm. The screen was flashing, The Tampa Bay Rays Welcome Gainesville High Ninth-Grade Baseball Team, across a live image of us.
I turned and gaped at Keefer. “H-how?”
His lips drew into a small smirk. “I might know someone, who knows someone.”
“They'll never forget this.” I grinned, watching the boys’ disbelief at their minute of fame. “I'll never forget this. You might have made a fan of me yet.”
His arm brushed mine and tiny jolts of electricity zipped through me. I gasped, dropping my eyes, trying to ignore his effect on me. Don't make eye contact. But they betrayed me, and with a power of their own, my eyes once again found his and I leaned into him. Crap. I wanted to kiss him with every fiber of my body.
“Yo, Miss M, waaaave.” Keylon nudged my left side and nodded across the field, and we joined in the forty-thousand strong celebration, anticipating the rolling wave of arms moving in our direction.
The excitement in the air was infectious, and when I looked up at Keefer, he was watching me intently. My whole body hummed, and his lust-filled eyes burned into me. He looked at me like he wanted to devour me. Emboldened, I brushed my fingers gently over his hand. His eyes fluttered shut, and I was sure that I felt his breath hitch. He dipped his head toward me. “I've missed you,” he whispered, his lips brushing my ear.
His words sent me soaring but left me so confused—I wanted to scream at him WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? As the teams entered the field and the crowd’s noise crescendoed, Keefer straightened and followed the players with his eyes. I knew our moment was over—and I could only hope we’d get another. Because whatever was happening between us refused to cool off.
~
“Coach, that was unbelievable. I've always wanted to watch a major league game in real life.”
My heart warmed, listening to Keylon and Keefer talk about the game.
“You could go far, you know. Work hard at school, sign up for the team, go to college. You've got natural talent, Keylon. In fact, I wanted to ask you about something. How would you like to come train with me over the summer? We hold-”
Keylon interrupted with excitement. “Count me in, Coach. Now that Momma has left Treyvon, she won't say no. I'm sure she won't.” He grinned.
Keefer patted Keylon on the shoulder, his eyes finding mine across the picnic bench, and we shared an unspoken message about Keylon's turnaround. We'd stopped at a rest stop just outside Tampa for something to eat before we headed back. The boys were still on a high, and I watched with pride as Reece, Jai, and Otis talked animatedly about the game. Niall and some of the others were engaged in a foam finger fight, and Kenny, Jared, Marc, and Micah were wolfing down their subs, acting very maturely for a change. They'd grown up a lot over the last three months, and I didn’t doubt that Keefer had been a good influence on them.
Between the excitement of the game and trying to keep our eyes on the boys, there had been no more moments between Keefer and me. So when he caught my hand before I followed the boys onto the bus, it took me by surprise. I turned back to face him, watching his brows furrow. He looked torn about something.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“I- hmm, yeah. Do you think we could talk when we get back?”
My insides flipped. “Of course.”
“Great. We should get going if we want to make it back on time.”
The journey dragged as my mind painstakingly considered what Keefer might want to talk about. Was he finally ready to talk about his dad? Did he want to fix things between us?
As I watched the night landscape change to a familiar skyline, my stomach fluttered i
n anticipation. Keefer was such an enigma; I wasn't sure he was ready to let anyone in—to let me in. After all, we were so different, but things were intense between us. Remove all the crap going on in our separate lives and the attraction between us was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. We sparked.
Twenty minutes later, Keefer turned into the school and parked alongside the parents huddled together waiting for our arrival. As we all filed off the bus, my phone vibrated, but Kenny’s voice distracted me. “Yo, Miss M, my dad wants to see you and Coach for a sec.”
Most of the parents wanted to offer their appreciation at giving their boys such an opportunity. Even Kendra King managed to extend her gratitude. Her downcast eyes and a weak smile seemed to silently thank me for more than just giving Keylon a chance.
Once the last boy was collected, Keefer quickly tidied out the garbage from the bus and I checked my phone. One new message.
Russ: Emergency at home. Mom flipped. Smashed half the kitchen up. Get here ASAP
I dialed Russ's cell, then Dad’s, but neither answered. A sinking feeling replaced the excited nervousness that I'd been experiencing only minutes earlier.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Keefer approached me, and I shook my head. “I need to get home, like now.” As I brushed past him, he grabbed my arm. “Hey, what's wrong?”
“My brother texted. My mom is on one of her crazy-assed rampages.”
He lifted the bill of his cap and ruffled his hair. “Can I do anything?”
“Thanks, but I don't think so. I've got to go.” I almost ran to my car, fumbling in my bag for my keys, while Keefer called out to me. All I could think about was getting home. Russ wouldn’t have texted unless it were important.
“Sh-Sharn, wait. Just wait, okay,” he panted, leaning on the door for support.
“I have to get home, Keefer.”
“I know. I just wanted to say I hope everything’s okay…” He took ahold of my free hand and hesitated, his eyes burning into me. “And to do this.”
He swept me into his arms and I gasped as his lips covered mine and his tongue parted my lips. I relaxed against him as he held me tighter, setting a slow and deliberate pace. I didn’t doubt that this was Keefer’s way of saying the things that needed to be said. He was trying to tell me everything in that one kiss.
When he finally pulled back and sucked my bottom gently, I inhaled a huge breath, and my eyes fluttered open to be met with his smile. There was so much I wanted to say—so much I wanted to hear him say, but I had to get home. He pulled me into him once more and just held me, and I nestled my face into his shirt. Eventually, he released me and said, “You should probably get home. If you need anything, please text me.”
All I could do was nod. He left me completely and utterly breathless, and I almost missed the vibrations from my cell. Keefer chuckled under his breath as I fumbled with it. “Russ?”
CRASH. BANG.
“Cindy, for God’s sake. Will you calm down?”
I moved the phone away from my ear as another loud crash echoed in my ear.
“You'd better get home, like pronto, sis.”
Keefer was watching me, but I couldn't look at him. Not when Mom was going bat-shit crazy on the other end. “I'm coming now. Be there in ten.” I dropped my cell back into my bag and ripped the car door open, still refusing to make eye contact with him. I couldn't lose it. Not now. Not when I had to face whatever was waiting for me at home. Keefer’s hand lingered on the door window as he shut it behind me. When he finally stepped away, I sped out of the parking lot.
~
The second I climbed out of the car, I could hear Mom screaming like a banshee. The last thing I wanted was another showdown, but enough was enough—Mom was certifiably losing it.
I managed to sneak into the house without drawing anyone's attention. Over all of the clattering and shattering, I doubted that they would have heard me anyway. I followed the sound into the kitchen, bracing myself.
“Mom, let’s try and calm things. Shall we?” Russ said.
“Listen to your son, Cindy. Have you completely lost your mind?”
“ME? ME?”
BANG. CRASH. SHATTER.
I took in the scene playing out in front of me. Mom was frantically pulling down the plates out of the wall cabinet and throwing them down onto the tiles, one after another. There was a mound of broken china at her feet, but she seemed oblivious to it crunching beneath her heels as she paced to and from the cabinet. Dad stood with his back to the refrigerator shaking his head in dismay. Russ noticed me halt in the doorway and I mouthed 'what the hell is going on?' at him. He wound one finger in a circular motion against his temple and nodded in the direction of our mother. I had never seen eye to eye with her, but I barely recognized her anymore.
Mom stalked toward Dad with a crazed glint in her eyes. “Just give me the damned divorce, Frank.”
Dad stood rigid and met her glare with one of his own. But where her eyes looked wild, Dad’s remained icy and calm. Too calm. “You want a divorce; I'll see you in court. It's about time that you owned up to your misdemeanors, Cindy.”
A beet-red color rose over her face. Before Russ could grab her, she launched herself at Dad, and he just missed the plate smashing into the wall next to him. I yelled, and Russ cursed. Dad remained unmoved. Mom screamed at him furiously; her words making no sense. She grabbed onto Dad’s arm, raking her perfectly manicured fingers down his arm, a trickle of red following her path.
“STOP. JUST STOP!” I didn't realize it was me shouting until my breath turned ragged, my chest heaving up and down.
Time stopped. Mom's hand froze over Dad's arm, and Dad met my wide eyes and his lips drew into a tight line. Russ looked how I felt—disappointed, shocked, and overwhelmingly sad. He broke the stifling silence. “Mom, I'll drive you home. Let's go.” He led her out of the house, and she didn't utter a word, trailing behind him like a scolded child.
I grabbed a cloth and dampened it under the basin, attempting to clean Dad's arm. He flinched as I wiped the raw skin, and I said, “Sorry.”
He gritted his teeth, as I dabbed at the scratch marks. “It's okay, sweetie. I'm sorry you had to witness that.”
“You sound like this isn't the first time you've seen Mom go cuckoo.”
Dad sucked in a sharp breath. “Your mother is a complicated person.”
“What made her lose it, Dad?” I asked in a small voice, and he heaved a long sigh. “I refused an uncontested divorce. You're right...” He looked down at me. “She shouldn't win. Not this time. She should own up to her wrongdoings.”
I balled the cloth into my hand, wrapped my arms around Dad, and let myself fall apart.
~
It was useless trying to sleep. My brain refused to switch off and give me peace. Frustrated, I rolled onto my side and thrust my hand under the pillow, yanking it toward the side of my face. After Russ had returned home from dropping Mom off at Geary's, he spared us any details and we didn't ask. Instead, we talked about happier times. Like the time Russ and Dad built us a treehouse in the branches of the sturdy oak tree in the garden. And the Thanksgiving I tried to bake cookies, but they ended up hard and charred around the edges, with a strange smell to them. But Dad and Russ ate them anyway.
I'd been upset when Dad announced we needed to sell the house, but after tonight, a fresh start didn't sound so bad. Any hope of an amicable separation for Dad and Mom seemed unlikely now, and my head told me that moving was for the best. I had twenty years’ worth of memories stored up of why we were better off without Mom. But the ache in my heart wasn't convinced. Sure, she was a total bitch, and after tonight, possibly a little crazy, but she was still Mom—the only one I was ever going to get. Without her, there'd be no one to help me get ready on my wedding day, no one to reassure me when I had my own children, no one for them to call grams. I wiped the tears from my eyes and clenched my eyes shut.
And then there was Keefer. Blond-haired, brooding, baseball-loving Keefe
r. I didn't see him coming that was for sure. But he'd stomped into my life all silent and mysterious, reeled me in with his passion for working with the boys, and then unknowingly stole my heart. Then he'd trampled all over it. Eight years and I'd never found my something real, my spark. Until Keefer. Sure, I'd given my heart away before; to Devon in high school and to Benson in college, but I'd fought for their love. And then they'd thrown it back in my face and shattered me in the process.
No one fought for me. They gave me up. Even Keefer. I knew that he felt the attraction between us. Knew that he wanted me. But it hadn't been enough. I hadn't been enough. And maybe I never would be.
Chapter 24
~ Keefer ~
I was pissed. I’d had the night all planned out. After we had arrived back at GHS, Sharn had agreed to talk with me about things, and I swore my heart did little somersaults when she said yes. I wanted to take her to the apartment, sit down, and tell her about Dad. Then I was going to tell her how I felt about her. She deserved to know. Deserved an apology. Deserved for me to show her how much I cared about her—the girl I was crazy about.
Instead, she had to get home to a family emergency, and there'd been no time to explain. If that wasn’t the Universe laughing in my face enough, I’d thrown my phone down in frustration and almost swerved off the road as I watched it hit the console and shatter. I was pretty sure it was a goner. Now I had no way of contacting her to see if she was okay.
I pulled up outside of Durty's and cut the engine. Not how I planned for tonight to go. Maybe it was some divine intervention shit. The powers that be were giving me a sign. Maybe she was better off without me. But they had to be wrong, didn’t they? Because whenever I was around her, it felt like everything was right in the world. Everything seemed better. Calmer.
She. Calmed. Me.
And drove me wild all at the same time. I slammed my fist on the steering wheel. I needed a new plan, because I refused to accept that things were over between us. They couldn’t be. I couldn’t lose her. I wouldn’t.
