by L A Cotton
“So you’re not local?” Zac’s breath against my hair pulled my attention off of Kade.
“Nope. Born and raised in Kaplan, Louisiana.”
“Never been. I'm kind of a home bird."
I pursed my lips and forced a smile. "I'm kind of a mover."
We the danced the rest of the song in silence, and I lay my head against Zac's hard chest. He was a nice enough guy but not my type. There was something in his eyes. They were soft, like he'd want more.
I thanked Zac for the dance and excused myself. Kade's eyes followed me as I weaved through the hordes of guests mingling and enjoying the celebrations. I could feel his pearly blues burning into my back, urging me to turn around. And when I did my jaw fell open. Kade winked in my direction, dipped his head towards the blonde wrapped around him and claimed her lips.
Kade Ford, one; Staci Jameson, zero.
Excerpt from Chasity Falls: Loyalty and Lies
*Coming January 30th 2015*
Something caught my attention out the corner of my eye, and I smiled at the small square of paper resting on my notebook.
How is your first week going?
Jackson sat relaxed in his chair, his attention focused on Professor Shacks, giving nothing away.
I scribbled back a reply and dropped it onto his table. Thirty-seconds later, he held the note out for me, a grin breaking over his gorgeous face. As I reached for the note, our fingers brushed and the flutters I fought so hard to ignore everytime I was close to him exploded.
So about that coffee. Are you free after class?
I gulped down the breath lodged in my throat. It my last class of the day. Elena was going out with Tyson, so I'd have the dorm to myself to study... remember... breakdown... Or I could go for coffee with Jackson. I could try to be normal.
Maybe.
He replied straight away.
You're going to make me beg, aren't you?
I didn't reply. I didn't know what to reply. I was too busy trying to calm the emotional storm sweeping through me. Thankfully, Professor Shacks started outlining our first paper, a good excuse for me to remain focused on her and not the note burning a hole into my table.
As soon as she dismissed the class, Jackson spoke. “So about that coffee?"
The box I fought so hard to keep locked started to rattle, the memories trying to force their way out. "Hmm, I- I, Hmm-"
Sensing my hesitation, his held up his hands and he added, "Hey, look, no pressure. It's just coffee."
You can do this.
"Okay." My voice sounded so small I was surprised he even heard me, but the way his eyes softened told me he had.
"Great, I know just the place. Meet me round the back of the building in two minutes." His eyes shifted around us as if he was on edge. Nervous.
Huh?
I watched as Jackson scanned the room once more, pulled on a baseball cap, brushed past me and ducked out of the room into the corridor. Things just keep getting weirder. Was I supposed to just find my own way there? Was it some kind of joke? Curiosity got the better of me and I followed the line of students outside and onto the path. Everyone seemed to be heading in the direction of the student center, but I took the path snaking around the back of the building. There was a small parking lot at the end, and I heard Jackson before I saw him, as he stepped out from a hidden alcove in the wall.
"Do you mind riding in my car?"
The word hit me like a brick wall, the impact almost painful. I winced and felt the color drain from my face.
"Is everything okay, you look like you've seen a ghost?"
The torrent of tears kept at bay by the dam I'd spent months constructing threatened to burst open at any minute. Breathe, just breathe, ten, nine, eight, seven...
"Ana?" His emerald eyes watched me.
You can do this. YOU CAN.
I closed my eyes, finished my countdown and reinforced the dam walls. When my eyes opened, Jackson was still watching me, a look of confusion on his face. "Sorry, I get a little claustrophobic... small spaces." The lie rolled off of my tongue. "I'll be fine, lead the way."
"Are you sure? We can always do it another time."
"Now is great." I started walking toward the lot, hoping he would follow. I needed to move, to do something, do anything to distract me from the panic gnawing at me inside.
He slow jogged beside me, and pointed to a fancy, sleek, black sports car, as we reached the steps down to the lot. "That's mine." It looked expensive, and that usually meant safe. Didn't it?
"Nice ride," was all I managed to choke out.
He laughed and my body relaxed slightly, as opened the passenger door and motioned for me to get in.
"Wow."
My eyes devoured the plush leather seats and futuristic looking console as I shakily climbed in. The whole car oozed money. Lots of it.
Jackson shrugged, as he settled in the driver's seat. "It's just a car."
"It's not just a car. You must know that right?" I chuckled, surprised by how good it felt to do something so simple. "So isn't there anywhere on campus that does coffee?"
He gunned the engine and the car roared to life. It had the sound of something sporty. The kind of cars Danny and his friends watched from afar back home. Danny. I felt the ache in my heart, and focused on pushing down the memories.
"Nowhere does coffee like Blacks." Jackson started reversing the car out of the lot, and I noticed a small access road leading toward the forest instead of the one road in and out of the campus.
"Blacks? Am I supposed to know what that means?"
"You'll see. Hold on."
Hold on?
Before I could ask, Jackson stepped on the gas and the car lurched forward, forcing me back into my seat. My heart was beating so fast I couldn't think straight, couldn't find my way through my emotional whirlwind. I was scared--terrified. But part of me felt alive, as if being in the car with Jackson, was awakening an old, dormant part of me. As if facing my fear was breathing new life into me.
"Hey, everything okay over there?" Jackson turned to me, taking his eyes off of the single traffic road, following the edge of the forest.
"More than okay." I smiled.
A real, genuine, honest-to-god smile. Call me weird, sick, twisted, masochistic... none of that mattered. Not the voice in my head telling me this was wrong, telling me I didn't deserve to feel like this. I was smiling, something I hadn't done for almost sixteen months. The moment wasn't just significant, like Dr. Simmonds would term it, it was freaking huge.
Jackson laughed and refocused on the road, which started to turn into the thick of the forest. It was a sight to behold. Giant firs encased the road, standing tall to attention like leafed soldiers, granting us access through their world. Yesterday's rain had lifted, leaving only a fine mist in the air. The particles glistened in the light seeping through the dense fir canopy.
Jackson noticed me taking it all in. "Something else isn't it?"
I nodded, too entranced to speak. It was worlds apart from the sunny, warm climate I'd left behind. The beaches and shopping malls, the parks and huge condos with pools.
We rode in silence. The radio played in the background, and Jackson hummed along to more than one song. Ten minutes passed, then twenty. I was beginning to wonder where he could possibly be taking me when the trees started to thin and the ocean came into view. The coastal road was almost at the cliffs edge, but Jackson navigated like he could drive the route with his eyes closed.
I was raised by the beach, but not like this. The dark sea was angry, thrashing against the rocks. Ferocious, white horses rolled on top of the current, their journey ending at the cliff face. It was nothing like the golden sands and crystal blue waters I spent my summer's enjoying.
"It’s rough out there."
"Yeah, it looks angry," I replied, considering which sea I preferred... since everything changed.
Jackson pulled off the main route and followed a dirt path down the cliff. At the end sat a hut. Or
at least that's what it looked like to my eyes. A white wash, wooden hut, its sign flapping in the wind. A single word scratched into it. Blacks.
Jackson cut the engine and came round to open my door. "Okay, so it doesn't look much, but I promise it has the best coffee in a twenty mile radius."
I let him help me out, aware of the unfamiliar, forgotten sensations rippling through my body at his touch. His hand stayed pressed on the small of my back as we walked into the hut together.
The place might have looked like a beat down shack from the outside, but the inside painted a different story. It wasn't the simple wooden booths, the odd tables, or the single counter in front of a service hotplate. It was the walls. Almost every piece of visible wall was covered in some kind of memorabilia: newspaper cuttings, framed black and white photographs, box framed trinkets and souvenirs. The place was like the Aladdin’s cave of the history of Chastity Falls. My eyes strained to read some of the headlines. More than once I saw the name 'Donohue'. The detective in me was ready to scour over every piece of information, but now wasn't the time.
An old man with dark wrinkled eyes and weathered skin greeted Jackson, pulling him into a hug, like old friends. "And who here is this pretty lady?"
Jackson cleared his throat and stuttered, "This is Ana, we have a couple of classes together. I- I promised her coffee."
I peeked at him through my lashes, sure I could see evidence of him blushing a little. But I had to be wrong. Didn't I?
The old man regarded me for a second before his thin lips upturned in a smile. "Welcome, Ana, classmate of Jackson here. Any friend of Jax, is a friend of mine. What can I get you girl?"
I scanned the handwritten menu board. It was simple: coffees, shakes, a few subs, homemade pie. "I'll get a banana shake and a turkey sub, please."
Jackson clutched his heart. "No coffee? Be still my beating heart."
A small laugh escaped my lips. I could feel the old man's eyes on us, watching. There a hint of something in them... Sadness? Happiness? Wistfulness? I couldn't place the emotion.
"Usual Jax?"
"Sure thing, Otis."
Jackson led me to a booth in the corner of the small hut, and waited until I was seated, before taking the bench opposite me. "So how'd you like it?"
"It isn't quite what I imagined, although I guess I just imagined a Costa coffee."
He chuckled, and I added, "It's great. So close to the sea. Otis seems nice."
"He's as good as family, we go way back. Like me in diapers back. He knew my dad..." Jackson hesitated, fidgeting with the napkin in front of him. "Anyway, what about you Ana Parry? What's your story?"
My body went rigid. Noticing my change, Jackson reached out across the table and took my hand in his. It was different to the couple of occasions he'd accidentally touched me. It was deliberate. Purposeful... and it calmed me. I had expected the opposite. Expected it to panic me, or repulse me, or wind me. It didn't. It felt... it felt nice.
"My story? Is far too boring for coffee with Shakespeare."
He waited for me to continue, his green eyes burning into me, questioning me. When I didn't answer, he left it, and I released the breath I'd been holding, thankful for the momentary reprieve.
Otis bought over our drinks. Jackson's hot chocolate looked delicious with its foamy cream and marshmallows, but my banana milkshake looked good enough to eat, complete with a banana slice and sprinkles.
After licking the cream off of his spoon, Jackson said, "So how you liking CFA?"
I shrugged. "It's okay I guess."
Something flickered in his eyes, their emerald tone from earlier deepening to a dark green. "Not what you expected?"
"You could say that. I was expecting quiet. I get the feeling it's anything but."
The words lingered between us and Jackson's face twisted with an unknown expression. He looked torn, like he wanted to say more, but didn't know if should.
Otis appeared again with our food, cutting the tension between us like a knife. We chatted about safe topics. Jackson gave me the five-minute run down of the town. He was born and raised in Chastity Falls, which pretty much comprised of the Academy, the high school, police station, movie theatre, a couple of bars and a handful of stores. I talked about my class schedule and Elena. He leaned into the table as if was really paying attention to my every word, but I noticed the way his eyes kept discreetly glancing at the door and checking his watch. I even caught the shared look between him and Otis. I didn't know why, but Jackson was on edge.
After finishing my sub, I pushed the plate to one side and said, "So is Dead Man's Cove around here? Elena mentioned a party."
Jackson coughed, slamming his curled fist against his chest. "Ye- yeah. Not far from here." He stuttered, whipping his cap off and dragging a hand through his hair. "It's usually a bust though. Probably a waste of time making the trip, especially with the forecast."
My stomach dipped. "Oh. So you're not going? I thought it was some kind of freshman thing?"
He glanced round the hut again. "Nah, I doubt it."
Jackson didn't say anything else on the matter, and I didn't ask.
As he paid the check and said goodbye to Otis, the sinking feeling in my stomach didn't leave. Something had changed between us and I didn't know what. Or why.
"I have a couple of things to take care of in town, so I'll drop you back at Campus?"
"Sure.
Jackson's voice seemed cold. It was as if the person I'd arrived with was gone. I was so confused. He'd pushed for coffee, not me, but now it was like he couldn't wait to get rid of me.
We drove back in stifling silence. A couple of times Jackson cursed under his breath, once when a rabbit ran out across the road and the other when a car passed us on the other side of the road. I kept my head turned to the window, watching dusk fall over the forest, making it seem even more alien.
Before I knew it, the car ground to a halt outside the front entrance of the campus. The main buildings were a good five minute walk, McGinley at least another ten. Tiny drops of rain hit the windscreen and trickled down into oblivion. Perfect, what a shitty end to a shitty date. Coffee, I mean coffee. I pulled my hood up and reached for the door handle. "Thanks for the shake. See you in class."
I didn't want to look back in fear of my face betraying me. So I ducked out of the car in a hurry.
"Ana, wait." Jackson's voice called. I turned to find the passenger window rolled down. "Thanks for coming. See you in class."
I nodded and watched as he reversed out of the road, spun the car around and sped off into the distance.
There was definitely something up with this place.
