by Joan Jonker
Ada winked at her son. ‘He’s very modest, your dad, and shy with it. Most men who thought they’d done a good job, they wouldn’t be backward in coming forward. And now he’s had a taste of success, I bet he’ll work like the clappers and surprise us all by having the ceiling whitewashed before I’ve had time to make us a cup of tea.’
Drying his hands on the towel, Jimmy grinned. ‘Don’t go overboard, love, ’cos I haven’t mixed the whitewash yet. And when I do it’s got to stand for a few hours to settle. Otherwise it’ll be like water and the ceiling won’t look as though it’s been painted.’
Ada pinched his cheek. ‘Ah, I’m sorry to disappoint yer, sunshine, but in this house there’s no rest for the wicked. Yer can start on the ceiling right away, for the whitewash is ready to use. As soon as yer’d left for work this morning, I got the bucket out, half filled it with water, then added the whitewash. I was stirring all the time I was putting it in, so it wouldn’t go lumpy. And if yer look at it now, yer’ll see I’m right when I tell yer it’s ready to use.’
‘Ye’re a ruddy slave driver, that’s what you are. Me and Danny have worked like demons to get the van filled in time, and yer can’t expect us to get stuck into the ceiling without a sit down and a cup of tea.’
Danny nodded in agreement. ‘That’s cruelty, that is, Mam. It puts me in mind of James Cagney in that picture where he was in prison, and he had to work in the chain gang every day without food or drink.’
‘Oh, now, come off it, sunshine, and take yer mind back to that picture. If my memory serves me right, James Cagney was a gangster in it, and he was in prison for murdering several people. So he should have considered himself lucky to be alive, never mind only getting bread and water.’
Jimmy put his hands on his hips and stared from his wife to his son. ‘How the hell have yer managed to take the conversation from a bucket of whitewash to a gangster in a chain gang in America?’
‘Don’t yer be glaring at me like that, Jimmy Fenwick, it was yer eldest son what brought James Cagney’s name up, I wouldn’t have thought of him. Or bread and water, for that matter. So if yer take that look off yer face, and ask me in a proper manner, I’ll consider making yer a ruddy cup of tea.’ She pushed him playfully but firmly away from the stove. ‘When someone asks me how many children I’ve got, I usually say three without giving it any thought. In future, though, if I’m asked, I’ll say four, because you two are just as childish as Monica and Paul.’
Jimmy jerked his head towards the living room. ‘I think we’d better move ourselves, son, before yer mam can think of any more insults. I’m not going to take it lying down though, not this time. I’ve been too soft with yer mam ever since the day we got married. But that’s going to change, and she won’t know what’s hit her.’
Ada popped her head round the door. ‘D’yer want a couple of biscuits with yer tea?’
Jimmy winked at her. ‘That would go down very nicely, love, and don’t forget it’s two sugars for me and one for Danny.’
‘Go on, Dad, what were yer saying about not being so soft with me mam,’ Danny asked, ‘and how yer were going to put yer foot down with her?’
‘Well, it’s like this, son.’ Jimmy lifted one of the dining chairs which Ada had stacked on the couch out of the way. ‘I had been thinking of trading her in for a newer model, but I’ve had second thoughts on that. I mean, would I get one with a sense of humour like yer mam? That’s what I have to ask meself. Women as funny as yer mother are hard to come by. And although she can be bossy at times, yer have to admit she does look after us well.’
Danny took a chair down and placed it next to his father. ‘It’s a problem, all right, Dad, and I can see yer point. But if yer ever did decide to trade her in for a younger model, I can’t see yer getting away with it. Yer’d have a mutiny on yer hands, with Paul, Monica and meself. We’d all follow me mam wherever she went, ’cos we know which side our bread’s buttered on. If she went, we’d all go. And that would leave yer swinging with a new model who liked to lounge around all day, looking pretty but not doing a hand’s turn in case she broke a nail. And yer could forget coming home to a pan of stew with lovely light dumplings on top. She probably wouldn’t even know what a dumpling was. Then there’d be no laughter over the dinner table with our mam having us in stitches telling us about the shenanigans her and her mate get up to.’ The gleam in Danny’s eyes, and the deepening of his dimples, told of laughter being held back. ‘No, Dad, yer’d definitely be on a loser.’ Then a make-believe frown creased Danny’s forehead. ‘It has just occurred to me that if I help yer with decorating this room, I could be wasting me energy. Why should I work meself to a standstill for some young bird to reap the benefit?’ He shook his head. ‘No, Dad, I’m afraid ye’re on yer own.’
At that moment Ada came through carrying a cup of hot tea in each hand, and in each saucer there were two ginger snaps. ‘There you are, lads, that should cheer yer up before yer start grafting.’ Taking a stand between the two chairs, Ada put her hands on her hips. She looked down at Danny. ‘They say women gossip about anything under the sun, but you two are worse than any woman I’ve ever known. But I’ll tell yer something, Danny, and that is yer dad may be many things, but daft he ain’t. He’s been promising me for years that he was going to run off with a young bit of stuff. He keeps building me hopes up, but it never amounts to anything. Which doesn’t really surprise me, for who in their right senses would have him?’
‘Ay, yer’d be surprised how many young girls fancy me.’ Jimmy nodded so vigorously to stress his point, he spilt tea into the saucer. But it didn’t put him off saying what he wanted to. ‘There’s a young girl works in the office, and every time she passes she makes glad eyes at me. And on pay day, when she’s giving the packets out, she always takes longer to hand mine over. All the men have noticed, and they pull me leg soft over it. She wouldn’t need much encouragement.’
‘She’s welcome to yer, and she’d have my blessings. But when yer came crawling home two days after yer left, I’d tell yer to get lost.’
Jimmy was enjoying himself. ‘What makes yer think I’d come crawling back?’
‘If I was a betting woman, and I had the wherewithal to bet with, I’d have five bob on yer coming home on the third day.’
‘Why pick on the third day?’ Jimmy asked. ‘Why not the second or fourth?’
Danny wanted to know, ‘Why don’t yer think he’d last out a week, Mam?’
‘Because of his socks, sunshine, that’s why. If he leaves in the winter it won’t be so bad, but he stands no chance in the hot weather. His feet sweat, yer see, and for the life of me I can’t see a young flighty girl staying with a man who has sweaty socks. She’d wrinkle her nose up and head back to her mother.’
‘I didn’t know yer had sweaty feet, Dad,’ Danny said. ‘Everyone says I’m the spitting image of you, but I’m glad I haven’t inherited that off yer.’
‘Take no notice of yer mam, son, she’s pulling yer leg.’ Jimmy wasn’t laughing, but he could see the joke. ‘Me feet do not smell, and seeing as they’re on the end of me legs, I should know.’
Ada was chuckling as she reached for her coat off the hook. ‘If yer did have sweaty feet, sunshine, yer’d be sharing Danny’s bed.’
Jimmy watched as his wife slipped her coat on. ‘Where are yer off to? I thought yer were going to give us a hand.’
‘Me and me mates are going to take over where you left off. We promised Eliza faithfully that we’d clean the house right through. So we’re going to mop the floors, and wash and dust everywhere, so the place is spotless for whoever comes to live there.’
Danny’s brows shot up. ‘That’s daft, that is! Why can’t the new people clean it up themselves? They’ll probably go over it all again, so ye’re only wasting yer time.’
‘Oh, I know that as well as you do, son, but I’ve made a promise and I’m going to keep it. Eliza was very fussy, and she kept that house spotless for sixty years. It was so clean ye
r could eat yer dinner off the floor. And that’s how the new tenants will see it.’ She wrapped her coat closely round her body, because she could smell the cold air when she opened the door. ‘It won’t take long with the four of us, just an hour or so. And it’s not much to make an old lady happy.’ She quickly closed the door to when she felt the cold wind. ‘The kids are all right, they’re playing with their mates. I’ve told them to be home for six, and there’ll be some sandwiches made for tea. And while I’m over the road, working hard, I expect you to be doing the same. So step on it, and show us what yer can do.’
As soon as he heard the door bang behind his mother, Danny hurried through to the kitchen with his cup and saucer. ‘Come on, Dad, drink up and let’s get cracking. I’d like to have the ceiling done by the time me mam gets home, to show her what we’re made of. With Auntie Hetty lending us that brush, I’ll start at one end of the frieze and you can start the other. If we make an effort, we could have it done in no time, then we can start on the ceiling.’ He stood in front of Jimmy with his hand out. ‘Come on, Dad, drink up and give us yer cup.’
‘Yer take after yer mother for being bossy,’ Jimmy said before draining his cup and passing it over. ‘Yer take after me in looks, but yer’ve definitely inherited yer mother’s ways.’
‘That can’t be a bad thing, can it, Dad?’ Danny said as he took the cup out and stood it in the sink. ‘I’ve got the best bits of both of yer, so it gives me the right balance.’
‘Then balance yerself on that ladder, son, and I’ll stand on a chair. And I suggest we don’t speak one word until the frieze is finished. Yer know what yer mam’s like, she’ll be going at it hell for leather. She’s so quick, yer eyes can’t keep up with her.’
‘Shut up, Dad, and let’s get on with it. I’ll meet up with yer in the middle in fifteen minutes.’
In Eliza’s house, the four neighbours stood in the kitchen, leaning on brushes and mops and having a little natter. ‘It hasn’t taken long,’ Jean said. ‘There’s only out here to do, and the yard to brush. We’ll be on our way home in no time.’
‘I’m in no hurry to go home,’ Ada told them. ‘The longer I stay out, the more Jimmy and Danny will have done. Once I put in an appearance, they’ll down tools and be wanting another pot of tea. Right now they’ll be working harder without me, so I’d be cutting me nose off to spite me face if I go home now.’
‘I’ve got an idea yer might like,’ Jean said. ‘Let’s go next door to mine and I’ll make us something to drink. Gordon’s taken David to Anfield to see Liverpool play, and Jane’s gone into town with a friend. We’d have the house to ourselves.’
‘That sounds smashing, sunshine.’ Ada chuckled. ‘My feller would have a duck egg if he knew I’d been invited out for afternoon tea.’ She glanced at Hetty. ‘How about you, sunshine, are yer all right for another hour or so?’
Hetty was all for it. ‘I’ve always wanted to be invited out to afternoon tea. And we may as well make the most of it and do the job properly. So while yer finish off here, I’ll nip down to the corner shop for some biscuits.’
‘I’ll come with yer,’ Edith said. ‘I’ve got a few coppers in me pinny pocket, so I’ll put it towards the biscuits.’
‘Don’t go the front way, girls,’ Ada said, pulling a face. ‘If Jimmy or Danny see yer, they’ll think we’ve finished and they’ll expect me home.’
‘Okay, girl,’ Hetty said. ‘Me and Edith will go out the back and down the entry, while you two finish off here. Have yer any preference for biscuits? Custard creams, digestive, ginger snaps, or arrowroot?’
The voting was tied. Two for ginger snaps and two for custard creams. ‘I’m not going to mess around,’ Hetty told them. ‘I’ll get Sally to mix them, then it’s every man for himself. It’s not as though we’ve been invited to Buckingham Palace.’
Chapter Eight
When Ada opened the door on the Monday morning, she had her wraparound pinny on and her hair was hidden under an old mobcap. She grinned down at the rent collector as she handed her rent book and money over. ‘Not a very glamorous sight to see early in the morning, am I, Bob? I know I must look a wreck, but I’m up to my neck in work. And much as I love yer, I didn’t see much point in titivating meself up just for the few minutes yer honour me with yer presence.’
‘It’s not like you to greet me looking like a charlady, Ada. Ye’re usually ready to go to the shops, looking very glamorous, if yer don’t mind me saying so.’
‘Mind yer saying so? Bob, it’s not very often I get compliments, so carry on. I’ve got the time to listen, if you can keep the compliments coming.’ Ada took the rent book back after it had been marked and tucked it under her arm. ‘I’ve had me living room decorated, by me husband and son, and I was on me hands and knees cleaning the floor when yer knocked. There’s splashes of paste and whitewash all over, and I want to get the room back to normal before I go to the shops. Me nerves would be shattered while I was out, with visions of the mess I had to come back to.’
‘Did they do the whole room over the weekend?’ Bob asked. ‘They must have gone like the clappers, ’cos that took some doing.’
Ada shook her head. ‘They did the ceiling and the wallpapering, but there’s still the paintwork to be done. Jimmy said he’d have that done in two nights. The room looks lovely and bright now, and I’m chuffed with me little self. It’ll be a pleasure coming down in the mornings to be greeted by wallpaper yer can see the pattern on.’
Bob Pritchard turned the page of the ledger to his next call, which was the house next door, and closed the book with his pen inside. ‘Did Mrs Porter get away all right? I was shocked when Mr Stone said she was leaving. We’re both sorry to lose her ’cos she was our oldest tenant. She’d been in the house forty years when Vincent Stone took over from his father.’
‘I hope he’s careful who he puts in there, Bob. I’d hate to see Eliza’s house go to a family of ruffians.’
‘I don’t think yer need worry about that, Ada. He vets everyone who puts their name down for one of his properties. As yer know, he owns half the houses in this street, and dozens more besides. There’s a list as long as me arm of people waiting for houses.’
Ada stepped back, remembering the work waiting for her. ‘Well, you tell him from me that I’ll have his guts for garters if he puts a rowdy family in the house opposite me. And for good measure, yer can tell him it won’t only be me complaining, it’ll be the Watsons, the Bowers and the Bensons. And remind him that all the men are over six foot.’
Bob chuckled. ‘D’yer want me to tell him word for word, or can I tell him in me own way?’
‘Any way yer like, sunshine, as long as the message gets through.’ Ada began to close the door. ‘See yer next week, Bob, ta-ra for now.’
The collector was smiling as he covered the few yards to the house next door, and when Hetty appeared, he had his greeting ready. ‘Good morning, Mrs Watson, I hope you are well?’ He took the book and money Hetty was holding out, and marked the rent book and ledger. ‘I’ve heard all the news from Ada, and I’ve got the message.’ Lifting his trilby, he told a startled Hetty, ‘I’ll have to be on me way, ’cos I’m running late. Good day to yer.’
Ada was on her hands and knees with a bucket of water beside her, rubbing the marks off the lino, when one of the panes of glass in the front window rattled. She looked up, couldn’t see anyone, and put it down to the wind. However, a loud banging on her door soon followed, and a gale force wind wouldn’t have been able to lift the heavy brass knocker. She sat back on her heels and rubbed a hand across her brow. ‘Who the hell can this be? It won’t be Hetty, ’cos I’ve warned her not to come until eleven o’clock. She knows I want to get this place shipshape before I go out.’
Hetty waited for a few seconds, then, when there was no response, she bent down and lifted the letter box. ‘Ada, will yer open the door, please?’
Muttering that her friend was in for a mouthful, Ada threw the floorcloth into the bucket, w
iped her wet hands down her pinny, and scrambled to her feet. ‘What d’yer want, Hetty? I told yer I’d be busy until eleven. I was on me hands and knees when yer knocked, so whatever it is yer want, it had better be good, or I’ll ruddy marmalise yer.’
‘It was Bob telling me that yer’d told him all the news, and that he’d got the message. That’s what he said, girl, but he couldn’t get away quick enough. He practically snatched the money out of me hand and scarpered. What news did yer have to tell him, that’s what I want to know?’
Ada put a hand to her forehead and rubbed hard, saying, ‘God give me patience, don’t let me lose me temper.’ She looked down at her mate. ‘Have you got me off me knees to ask me that? Couldn’t yer have hung out until eleven? I mean, there hasn’t been an earthquake, or a thunderstorm, has there?’ Again she gave her forehead a vigorous rub. ‘If I was a woman who used bad language, sunshine, I’d say I felt like breaking yer bleeding neck.’
Hetty’s pursed lips gave her the appearance of being prim and proper. ‘Well, Ada Fenwick, there’s no need for that sort of language. I’m not used to it, and I strongly object to hearing it from a woman who is supposed to be me best friend.’
Ada let out a deep sigh. ‘What were yer doing when the rent man called, sunshine?’
‘I was just combing me hair,’ said a puzzled Hetty. ‘Me jobs were all done, so I was going to sit down and listen to the wireless until it was time to call for you.’
Waving a hand from her head to her feet, Ada said, ‘I was like this when he called here. I was nowhere near ready to comb me hair, or listen to the wireless. I had other things on me mind. Like scrubbing the floor to get all the sticky paste off. After that I was going to put as much of me furniture back in place as I could, and then polish it until I could see me face in it. Yer see, sunshine, Jimmy and Danny didn’t finish decorating until eleven o’clock last night, and the place was a mess. We were all too tired to clean up at that time of night, so I was met with it this morning.’
