by C. M. Marin
“I don’t care.”
“I do, and Nate sure as hell does.”
My lips thin at him using Nate to get me to agree. “That’s not fair.”
“Anything to keep my sister safe.”
I breathe through my exasperation and my exhaustion with my face buried into my hands.
“I’m so tired.”
“I know you are, and you can’t rest properly here,” he retorts, letting me know I didn’t only admit my pitiful state to myself.
That proves he’s right. I really need to try to get some sleep.
“Okay,” I agree to walk away from Nate, not missing the feel of my heart breaking. “But you call me if anything changes. Anything.”
“I will,” he swears.
We all walk back to Nate’s room, the coffee we were going to get ten minutes ago forgotten.
He is still resting peacefully when I get to him, and my instinct has me reaching for his hand as I pray hard for him to wake up right now. That way I wouldn’t have to leave him. But he doesn’t wake up, and a frightful certainty falls on me like a cold shower. The feeling sinks deep in my stomach: this is the last time I see him.
Chapter 31
Nate
My head weighs a fucking ton. All I want is to get out of this place and go enjoy my own sheets for an entire month. After I went and put a bullet in every Spider until their breed no longer exists. Every single one of them is going to die soon. In revenge? Fuck yes. But that club needs to be wiped off once and for all anyway. They became too unpredictable for us to keep our heads buried in the sand just like we did this past year. And more importantly, they want Camryn now. Just for that they need to be destroyed. Their only options are to either run out of the country or enjoy to the fullest the last days they’ll get to live. Because that war we tried to avoid has started. They started it when they sent me here.
Taking them out won’t be easy. They’ll be waiting for us. Ready. But it doesn’t matter. This has to be done. Camryn’s safety is at stake.
Camryn.
She came back. The moment she heard about me being shot, she came back. She stayed glued to my side for days, refusing to leave. Even when Rod rolled up with his puppets like he owned the fucking hospital, she kept being a pain in Jayce’s ass, insisting on staying anyway. He didn’t cave then, though, and I’m glad. Not because I wouldn’t have wanted her right here tucked into my side, but because imagining Rod getting as close to her as he did has shudders rocking my body. Especially since I wasn’t there to protect her.
Jayce told me she acted like the brave girl I know she is. She even tried to protect him when CJ got in his face. I would have found that hilarious if I didn’t want to erase the image of her delicate body in front of murderers from my mind altogether.
My eyes are about to close, forced by the growing headache, when the door flies open and Jayce enters, his expression hard and grim.
“Cam?” Her name comes out tightly as my eyes open wider instead of closing and my body jerks up to a sitting position.
The pain tormenting my head is a distant memory, and the one spreading through my chest because of the sudden movement seems duller than I know it actually is. The dread that smashes into me is just stronger.
“Easy, dickhead,” he growls, striding toward the bed. “Cam’s safe.”
Relief collides with me and my body relaxes instantly, sinking back into the bed.
“What, then?”
“Spiders are back. Scattered around the hospital.”
Fuck. But being able to hack their phones again in such a short span of time is one damn good thing we’ve been blessed with through this shitstorm. I’m fairly sure Blane and his friend Lana gave up on sleep to get there so fast. I still don’t know the details about how they got us that priceless advantage back, but I definitely owe this girl.
“How many?”
“Twenty-six. But that’s only real Spiders, so to speak. Apparently, not even Rod finds it necessary to save his new recruits’ phone number in his contact list. That said, after he killed that man at Dona’s, it’s possible the rest of them just took off. Twenty-six is bad enough, to be honest.”
“Jesus, it’s a fucking hospital,” I mumble.
“There’s more,” he goes on. “Rod has reached out to MCs around the state, claiming you snatched his daughter.”
Just like he threatened Jayce he would. Fucking bastard. If they believe his story, they’ll help him get to her, thinking they’re saving her. Whether it is old ladies, sisters or daughters, we don’t use the women belonging to the club to solve our shit. That’s a rule for most clubs. The irony is, Rod would be the first in line to break that rule if it suited his needs.
“Let’s hope they remember what kind of man he is and are clever enough to not drink his words like stupid morons.”
Loyal isn’t an adjective anyone would use to describe that heartless, selfish son of a bitch. He made his own reputation a long time ago, and it’s not a good one. Hell, not even two weeks ago, he sent one of his recruits to Dona’s knowing he’d kill him after his job was done. What kind of deranged man does that? Let’s just hope we’re not the only ones lucid enough to see that.
“Obviously, Cam’s not coming back here as it was planned.”
One more reason to despise the fucker. I need to see her.
“What do we do?” I ask him, not acknowledging his comment because there’s nothing to say. “I don’t think I’m in shape to help out just yet,” I deadpan.
I feel like shit. Concentrating on inhaling only small breaths to spare my chest and enduring that killer headache are both wearing me down so ruthlessly I can barely stay awake.
“Liam thought of something. If it works, it’ll drive the Spiders away from here on the spot, and it’ll give us a good shot at getting rid of them later. The inner circle, at least,” he specifies, and I frown, lost as to what I’m supposed to understand. It prompts him to explain further as I take a few sips of water from a paper cup that hasn’t left my side. “He suggested we use the local news to spread the word about your death.”
Fuck, wrong pipe for the water I just swallowed and… Fuck, coughing hurts like hell. My free hand mechanically covers my wounded chest.
“All good?” Jayce snickers.
“I’m just…great,” I growl―or try to between two coughing fits. “My death,” I repeat, the words scraping the back of my throat.
“Yeah,” he says, dropping on the chair at the foot of the bed. “That way, they’ll expect us to come after them and they’ll flee like terrified kids to go lie low somewhere.”
“And we’ll know where that somewhere is.”
“If they don’t crush their phones out of paranoia,” he adds.
“Do we have a better option?” I ask.
“Not if we want them to retreat now. Blues are going to start sniffing around sooner or later. And we don’t need them tailing us for-fucking-ever, especially not when we’re planning on taking the Spiders down.”
He’s right. Definitely don’t need that.
“Then tell the guys to move fast, before the Spiders make their own move.”
“Blane’s parked with the SUV two blocks away, an eye on the signals. Once he gives us the green light, we’ll get you out of this place discreetly.”
“Thank fuck.”
“I’ll send Melvin to the club to let Cam know. Calling her is too risky. If one of the phones is bugged, we’re doomed. She’s discovered the fucking local news channel and hasn’t stopped watching it, trying to keep tabs on everything,” he sighs while typing on his phone.
The local news. I’m aware they’ll be helping us―the favor isn’t going to be free of charge, though―, but they’re often a real pain in our asses spilling half-truths about us because they don’t have anything juicier.
“Why are you letting her watch that shit?”
“Like she asks for permission,” he snorts.
Yeah, don’t I know that?
“How is she?”
He sets his phone on his lap. “Not sure,” he doesn’t lie. “She’s been quiet for the most part. Melvin’s been staying with her mostly. I think she’s worn out. Probably hasn’t slept or eaten much in days. She’s been sending me a text every damn hour for the past four days,” he mumbles even though affection pours out of him.
Still can’t believe he’s her brother.
“I made her promise me she wouldn’t flee again, but after Rod showed up here, I had to make her stay at the club. She’s safer there.”
That fucking hurts.
“She wants to leave town again?”
My mouth opens on itself. Can’t help it. I shouldn’t be asking that. That bullet didn’t kill me, but the answer to that might very well do the job.
“She won’t go anywhere until she knows you’re out of the woods for sure and have fully recovered, but I think she’s afraid you don’t want her here.”
“I didn’t want her to leave in the first place,” I remind him.
He sounds as tired as I am when he sighs, “Look, I get that you’re angry―”
“I’m not,” I cut him off, but before I can go on, he speaks as he arches a brow, accusing me of shitting him.
“You only asked about her once,” he says. “And you woke up three days ago and haven’t even called her. Not surprising she thinks you don’t want her here.”
“I haven’t called her because I don’t want to talk about our shit on the fucking phone. And I know you have an eye on her. I’m not angry at her,” I growl. “Should have listened to you, okay? You were right, Lilly was right, Ben was right. I took my head out of my ass. Glad?”
He already told me CJ cornered Cam at her house that day before she ran off. Also said he didn’t touch her. According to her, at least. She didn’t have a mark on her body, that I know, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t put his fucking hands on her. And I can easily imagine her lying for our sakes, knowing it’s too late to change anything. I’ll just ask her myself.
“Really glad,” he smirks. “But don’t tell Ben you should have listened to him. That shit would burn our ears out for months.”
A laugh climbs up my chest but even if it’s small, I curse immediately. “Fuck, don’t make me laugh. Hurts like a bitch.”
The dick only chuckles.
“You’re positive she’s safe?” I sober quickly.
“Yes, though I’ll feel better when Melvin is back there. Cody and Lilly should be back from Colorado in a few hours, too.”
It’s official, apparently. Lilly is Cody’s old lady. She’s about to move in with him, and I don’t think he’ll let her out of his sight anytime soon. Not after seeing that knife grazing her throat.
The door opens, and Liam walks in, the look on his face meaning business. Perfect. Can’t wait to get the fuck out of here and go back to my girl.
* * *
The vibe soaking the air inside the club is chilling as I rush through the door along with my brothers. To speed things along, Melvin didn’t make it to the club as he was supposed to, and when we figured that out, we could only pray that Cam wasn’t watching the fucking news.
Should have known prayers were bullshit.
Camryn’s wailing is piercing through the walls with a hopelessness that’s so thick it’s hard to breathe through it.
We’re too late.
“Fuck,” Jayce grunts through his teeth as I do my best to sprint through the room and up the stairs, clearly going against the doctor’s advice―which was more like an order, if we’re being honest―when I take the steps three at a time.
I don’t give a flying fuck about the pain screaming across my chest either. If my stitches pop open, I’ll deal with the issue later. My only priority is to get to her.
Her attention doesn’t dart up when I jerk my bedroom door open.
Fucking hell.
It feels like someone is plunging their hand into my chest and squeezing my heart so tight it’s more painful than the bullet that dug through my flesh not so long ago. That’s what it feels like to see her now.
She’s curled up on the damn floor into the smallest ball her body managed to make, my club hoodie brought close and tight against her chest.
That image is going to haunt my fucking nights forever.
During the shortest moment, I freeze. Didn’t she hear the door swing, or doesn’t she care one bit what’s happening around her? Whichever it is, she doesn’t react like someone is in here with her, so I get my shit in check and launch myself on the floor, right in front of her.
She needs to see me.
As I reach for her, I speak, not caring that my voice comes out hoarse and wavering with an emotion I’ve never experienced before. “Cam, baby.”
Her eyes pop open instantly, just as her sobs cut off. I’m already pulling her to me when she takes in my face like she’s trying to convince herself that I’m not some sort of illusion. But then her sobs resume with more strength than before as she clumsily pushes up from her prone position to a kneeling one, but only to let herself fall back, this time against me.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright. It’s all good, baby. You need to calm down for me, okay?”
The way she bawls and every one of her breaths seems to catch up in her throat scares the shit out of me. My arms tighten around her and I rock her gently, hoping it’ll have a lulling effect on her.
Her face is nuzzled in my abs as she holds on to me for dear life. I’m glad she’s wrapped around my waist, because her frail arms are putting so much strength into their embrace that my freshly shot chest wouldn’t have been strong enough to handle the treatment already.
“They…said…you…”
Her attempt at speaking is a fail as she hiccups all the way through the start of a sentence I don’t let her finish.
“I know. I know, it’s okay. I’m here.”
“I love you,” she cries, and if I weren’t seconds away from crying like a kid myself, I would have laughed at the way she’s saying those words to me for the first time.
“I know, baby. It’s okay.”
Deep down, I’ve known it for a long time. Even back when I thought I wasn’t and would never be as important as that bastard was, I knew she loved me. She left to protect me, because that’s the type of person she is. Fucking thinking about everyone else before thinking about herself. She tried to protect me and my brothers because we’re family to her. I should have known that note she left me was pure bullshit. I should have gone to her and hauled her stupid ass back here before she got the chance to leave the state.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m so…rry…” Her sobs keep gushing out of her.
“It’s alright, I know. Please, calm down.”
She can’t seem to be able to control herself, weeping and hardly getting any proper breath. Panic quickly sets in me. Afraid she’ll make herself sick, I contemplate telling Jayce to call Doc. He could give her something to sleep for a while. But to do that, I would need to get Cam to let go of me so I could race downstairs, because my phone is in the bag Liam carried for me.
My hesitation ends up by me not moving, except for the swaying motions I keep trying to appease her with, all the while murmuring soothing words. I caress her hair for long minutes, compelling my hand to relax enough. But I only breathe a little easier when her arms slacken their grip on me and her cries cease, allowing her own breathing to lose those scary as fuck hiccups. For another long while, I don’t quit my frozen position, wanting to make sure she’s calm enough to attempt to make her talk to me. But before I know it, her arms fall completely at my side, and I realize that exhaustion put her to sleep. Carefully, I lift her, and she doesn’t even stir as I bring her to my bed and lay us down without letting go of her.
Chapter 32
Camryn
Subtle rays of light sneak through the curtains. I know before I even open my eyes that it’s past dawn. It’s my first thought when consciousness hits me. For a fleeti
ng moment, I feel peaceful and more rested than I have felt in almost two weeks. But my following thought steals the peace and has my stomach roiling in fear as air briskly stop flowing down my lungs. And before my brain even tells my body that it should straighten, I find myself sitting on Nate’s bed. The bed where I’m lying in alone.
I can’t remember. My memories are blurry and jumbled. I remember watching the news… Oh, God. I remember falling apart, and I remember Nate’s arms holding me against him while I cried. What I can’t remember is whether the latter was a dream.
Panic sinks in with a harrowing violence, a sob breaks free with a wrenching agony, and a scream follows with a nerve-racking desperation.
“Nate!”
Oh, no. No, no, no…
My hands shake even though they’re clutched tautly around the sheets, but other than that, I’m left petrified by the silence inside the room.
Then the door swings open.
Brutal relief collides with every part of me. My eyes try to close on their own, and it takes every last ounce of strength in me to fight that instinct. I can’t break eye contact. He’s here. I see him. And I don’t what could happen should I let myself close my eyes. He might disappear again.
“Nate,” I repeat, but this time I whimper his name as he joins me on the bed with only three long strides.
“I’m here, baby. Just went to take a shower in Jayce’s room so I wouldn’t wake you,” he explains as he assesses my face.
There’s more than concern in his eyes narrowed with tiredness. He gauges me like he would gauge a caged animal ready to bolt.
His hair is damp, and he only has his boxers on. He’s still as beautiful as he was before I left him, but his gorgeously defined muscles aren’t what gets my attention. A bandage is still covering his wound that must not be completely healed yet, and when I yield to the desperate need of a contact I’ve craved so badly and reach for him, I make sure I don’t cling too hard to his neck.
No more than a few days ago, when I was standing in that hospital hallway, encircled by a couple of dozen armed men, I questioned my ability to fit into this world where violence can thunder around you at any moment. I felt out of place because I didn’t think of myself as strong enough to be by Nate’s side. But the questions are gone now. There’s only one certitude left in me. Here is where I belong. I might never know how to use a gun―and I’m not sure I want to, either―but I fit in this life. I do because Nate is here.
